Halloween is just a few weeks away and it’s that wonderful time of year where you put all your school work aside and brainstorm the best possible costumes. Will you go funny? Sexy? Scary? A crazy combination of all three that will either have you winning a costume contest or not allowed in any group photos all night?

Whatever you choose, make sure to avoid these five at all costs:

1. The Slutty Bumblebee
Firstly, horizontal stripes are a no-no, no matter how much of a stick you are. Secondly, a slutty bug? Really? Of all things? Thirdly, have you ever seen a butterfly flapping around a frat party. No? That’s because it’s real hard to get to the keg in a crowded
room when you have wings.

2. Naughty School Girl
Unless you’re Britney Spears and it’s 1998 and you’re shooting a music video, you’re absolutely forbidden from slipping on this cliche costume. You spent 4 years hating high school, why would you want to relive that on such a sacred night?

3. I’m Drunk?
You ask, “What are you supposed to be??” Usually a bro answers with this. Holding a red solo cup. Real creative. Hold up a mug instead of a red cup and you can easily be “I’m boring.” Read More »

After growing up in a world where sins absolutely meant Hell and Jesus absolutely meant Heaven, I never want to use the word absolute again. Except to say that I was absolutely mistaken.

I was raised to believe that there was a god, one god, and that Jesus Christ was his son. I accepted him into my ‘heart’ and was baptized at an early age. Then I was taught that anyone who didn’t move forward with those two procedures was going to go to Hell; even if they were a good person. Oh, Hell. The fiery pit where bad people burn with the devil.

I once believed this place was real and I could quote scriptures from The Bible as my own little way of reassuring myself that I wasn’t gonna be one of those bad people going to that bad place. I prayed when things weren’t going my way and I prayed when things were going my way. Come to think of it, I spent more time chatting it up with God when I was young than I did my friends.

I knew nothing about earning money, but I knew you were a selfish person if you didn’t give at least 10% of your income to God and your church. I knew that Halloween was for Satan and witches, that Jewish people believed in the same God that I did but were still going to Hell, and that Pulp Fiction was a very, VERY demonic movie that I was never allowed to see.

When I entered adolescence, I started to embrace my Christianity in new ways. I listened to rock bands who screamed lyrics you couldn’t understand…but they were Christian, so it was okay. I wore punky clothes and was straight edge. A straight edge jerk, judging everyone I knew who did drugs or drank or — god forbid — had sex. Read More »

Miss South Carolina definitely didn’t do herself any favors when it came to answering a simple question about maps and education, but unfortunately, she’s not the only idiot in our midst.

Recently, TMZ took a break from reporting on Britney and Paris to showcase the some of the brainpower walking around San Diego State University. Christian author and activist (and fundamentalist-devil-conspiracy person) Mark Dice gave his “the devil is the REAL terrorist!” rhetoric a rest and tried to interview students at SDSU about the year 9/11 happened.

Maybe these students knew who the possibly insane Dice (“formally known” as John Conner) was and didn’t trust him, or maybe they truly were as stupid as they come across on his video.

Either way, I think this proves our educational system needs more than just geography lessons.