Shocking news today: Paula Deen may soon reveal that she has type 2 diabetes. Wait, is anyone actually surprised by that? Every single one of Paula Deen’s recipes is like diabetes and heart disease in a greasy, buttery little package. Click through the gallery to see 10 Paula Deen recipes that probably gave her diabetes.

And if you haven’t already seen it, check out this video of her cooking show slowed down and set to horror movie music. Read More »

Well, this kid's screwed.

Sixth grade was a rough year for me. I was sitting at the semi-popular table at lunch and was delusional enough to think I was the cat’s pajamas. Looking back, I simply was not. Maybe because I used phrases like “the cat’s pajamas.”  And now, a Swedish study is telling me that my unpopularity will cause me to suffer from heart disease and diabetes later in life and I will most likely start doing drugs and try to kill myself.

If I had known this when I was 13, I would have combed my hair on a more regular basis.

The study, which is most definitely making me want to eat enough candy to put me in a diabetic coma/do drugs/crawl into my bed and cry, was done by Stockholm University and the Karolinska Institute and assessed children in sixth grade for their degree of “popularity, power and social status.”

Now, I have to ask: What kind of power were they expecting from a 13-year-old child? His ability to convince a girl in his class to go 7 Minutes in Heaven with him?

Popularity is such a trivial theory. And no, I’m not just saying this because I’m bitter that I’m at greater risk for alcohol dependency than others. Popularity in middle school ran parallel to who had the best desserts in his or her Power Rangers/My Little Pony lunchbox. By eighth grade, you were considered a cool girl if you had boobs and a cool guy if you were allowed to touch them. If you made it to second base, you were destined to be popular in high school. And if you went to an all-girls high school like I did, well no one was popular in that case. Read More »

Recently, PETA issued a letter to ice cream moguls Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield suggesting that instead of using cow milk for their creamy deliciousness (mmm..Phish Food), Ben & Jerry should consider switching to human breast milk.

Ew, what?

According to PETA’s executive V.P. Tracy Reiman, breast milk is healthier than cow’s milk since “Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer.”

Riiiiiiiiiight.

And of course, it’s better for the cows. Cows, like humans, only lactate during and after pregnancy so in order to keep the milk a-comin,’ heifers are periodically impregnated every nine months.

So, ok, I’m 100% against animal cruelty, but really? Don’t humans also only lactate during and after pregnancy? Would it not be cruel to therefore periodically impregnate women to produce enough milk for this venture? And where would Ben and Jerry find enough women willing to have their breasts pumped to feed America’s need for Chunky Monkey?

Milk, that is cow’s milk, has been part of human diet since, forever, and I just don’t think that human breast milk is really going to replace it. And let’s be real, who would actually eat ice cream made from human-teet milk? Besides a few freaks out there who are prolly into that…

(Photo from www.missbehavemag.com)