“Guys We Wanna Eff” is generally a speculative column. Each week, we collectively drool over one effable celeb or another, hoping against hope that one day we may be able to live the (effing) dream.

But what would you say if you actually did get to meet the guy in question? Would you collapse in disbelief?  Turn on the charm? Flirt his pants off?  Make a total fool of yourself?

Well, in the case of this week’s lusty lad–Andy Samberg–I actually did get to meet him. On my birthday, no less! It was freshman year and I had gone out to dinner with some friends downtown. We were about to board the subway back to campus when one of my girls started chatting up two guys standing next to us.

Being the super-suave freshman I was, I thought they were Fordham students I hadn’t met yet.  So I walked right up to the cuties and said, “Hey! Wanna come back to my room? It’s my birthday!” As soon as the words left my lips, I realized the guys were none other than Andy Samberg and Akiva Shaffer (2/3 of the comedy trio The Lonely Island, along Jorma Taccone), and they were both looking at me like I had asked them if they wanted to eat liver and onions. Also, they probably thought I was a huge slut. Read More »

We may have outgrown classroom “Secret Santa” parties and Snow Balls chaperoned by parents who enforce the “no-grinding” policies set forth by the high school gym teacher. But college offers a whole new world of holiday parties.

If you had fun on Halloween, just wait and see what the Festivous season has in store. Here are some ideas so you can throw your own rager for Christmahannukwanzakuh… or whatever you celebrate.

Tacky Christmas Party

Now’s the time to dig out the sweater you got last year from Aunt Millie – the one with real pom poms sewn on to represent snowflakes, with bedazzled reindeer flying across the front. If you don’t have your own tacky Christmas sweater, rummage through your mom’s closet or hit up the Salvation Army. These parties have been gaining quite the reputation over the last few years, with party goers trying to out-ugly each other. Decorate with lawn ornaments from the Clearance rack at K-Mart, and serve Malt Liqour to your guests. Who doesn’t love a white trash Christmas?

Hannukah Song Party

Who says you have to put your Halloween costume in the closet on November 1? Give your best celebrity costume another go by throwing a party where everyone goes as their favorite character from Adam Sandler’s “Hannukah Song.” Once everyone gets nicely buzzed, the phrase “OJ Simpson- not a Jew!” will echo through the halls, and “Put us together- what a fine lookin’ Jew” will be the pickup line of the night. Read More »

With SNL’s Digital Shorts the only reason people tune in these days, Andy Samberg can do no wrong when it comes to pushing our buttons and making us laugh.

That said, did you see “Iran So Far” yet?? If not, where the hell have you been? Holy crap, Fred Armisen’s dean-on impression of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is so strangely lovable, especially in that red dress. Samberg’s goofy grin and pseudo seriousness is…refreshing to say the least (ahem, Weekend Update…).

“Iran So Far” is definitely going viral (as much as “Dick in a Box”?) in a big way, but we here at College Candy are getting the ball rolling on causing another one of Samberg’s skits from Saturday night to make a splash on You Tube. Read More »

Who watches The Emmy’s besides our parents?

Seriously, I haven’t watched them since I was in middle school and was obsessed Friends and only watched to see what kind of hairdo Rachel would have.

But this year, there’s much more buzz surrounding this awards show, for our generation at least, because JT and Andy Samburg have triumphantly won an Emmy for Dick In a Box – for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics at this past Saturday’s Creative Arts Emmys (the untelevised version hosted by Carlos Mencia, who isn’t funny, at all).

If Justin’s slam against MTV right in front of the Hills ladies at the VMA’s wasn’t cool enough (I agree – PLAY MORE VIDEOS!) Justin and Andy have both agreed to not perform Dick in a Box on this Saturday’s Emmy Awards if they are forced to censor the song. Read More »

Forget Shia LeBeouf.

The buzz tides are turning toward SNL hottie Andy Samberg. A smooth – talking Don Juan or babyfaced teen star he’s not, but Samberg’s got the goods.

Why? Because he’s funny!

And while my heart used to beat exclusively for Jimmy Fallon, I’m in the process of becoming a complete Sambergphile. Besides being hilarious, he’s also cute in a completely awkward way that makes you think he never gets with girls (although that is sadly untrue).

In short, he seems normal even when he’s quite the comic genius. He broke out with The Lonely Island, a collection of comic shorts that he and two friends wrote, starred, and produced in. You can see them all on YouTube. Read More »