[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(Guy reading a paper)

Guy: Oh, geez. Things are changing. We could be Southern Canada. We could be Far-Northern Venezuela.

(Guys, eying a car.)

Guy 1: You got any adhesive? Krazy glue or something?

Guy 2: Got some duct tape in the house.

Guy 1: Nah, I can’t use duct tape, I’ll look like I’m from around here.

(Girl, sitting outside a bar, talking with friends.)

Girl: Every single guy in that bar has a gross mustache. Even the ones who don’t.

(Guy on a bus, yelling into his phone.)

Guy: I’m not wearing the orange jacket! I hate PVC! No. Absolutely not! I’ll look ridiculous. I’m going with the checkered.

(Girl, standing in a grocery store aisle.)

Girl: You know, if Apple Jacks did taste like apples, it’d be f***ing weird.

(Guy, running up to a girl.)

Guy: Hey, yo! Yo, are you the girl I saw dancing in the parking lot yesterday?

(Two guys, talking at library workstations.)

Guy: Me and my girlfriend are gonna be getting crazy this weekend. We got my mom’s van. We are gonna need to censor, like, an entire 48 hours.

(Girl, stumbling into a bar.)

Girl: Hello! I have a ten pixel digital camera! I am here to fix everything!

(Girl talking on the phone in a restaurant lobby.)

Girl: No, he’s not coming. He’s pregnant. I mean, you know, metaphorically.

(Guys on a couch.)

Guy 1: How’s Nick doing?

Guy 2: Nick’s in the other room. He’s getting smothered to death by ladies.

Guy 1: Should we help him out?

Guy 2: We should be so jealous.

Remember when you started college and you got a bunch of cool new stuff? Everything was shiny and new and you were off on a great adventure. A lot has changed since then. Now you’re all disillusioned by jerky professors and “real world” problems. Oh, and your laptop is an antique.

Many of you are thisclose to the end of your college days [weep], which means it’s time to upgrade your shiz for the next phase of your life. But what do you need? And which products are the best?

Look no further; I’m here for your graduating shopping needs. I can’t teach you how to survive out there – because I’m a few credits away from that awful place – but I can help you with that graduation wish list to hand off to the parentals.

Please hold your applause until the end.

1) New computer

You seriously probably still need one of these if you kept the same one for all four (+) years of college. No matter how much you loved that thing, the fact that it weighs 11 pounds and burns your legs when you’re using it means it’s time to let it go. Most real worlders will be spending most of their time at work, so your laptop doesn’t need to have as many bells and whistles as it used to. The mini book is slightly limited in its uses, but it’s small and cute and totally portable. And it can get you onto Facebook, iTunes and AIM, so what more do you need?

If you want something fancier, go with the MacBook. It has a built in camera that will let you chat face to face with your friends, which will be perfect for re-creating the weekend Morning After Recap from afar.

2) Smart Phone

You’ve wanted a Blackberry/iPhone/G1 forever, and now is the time to go for it. You are going to be hella busy out there in real life, so having your calendar, email, phone, music and Facebook updates all coming with you wherever you go is imperative. Especially when you want to sneak out of the office for some happy hour drinks without missing any messages from the boss man.

3) A year subscription to Xbox Live

Ok, this seems random and it will only work if you actually play 360, but the real world is stressful and you’re going to need something to de-stress. Since your friends will mostly be spread all over the country, this is the best way to keep in touch… while owning them in the game.

4) A GPS system.

If you’re moving to a new place for that sick new job (which, by the way, is a major accomplishment in this economy), you are going to need to know where to go. You could stop at the gas station every day to get directions (and a Diet Coke), or you could put this puppy on your dashboard and get everywhere you need to go on time. This will also come in handy when you want to road trip back to school for homecoming, or take a weekend drive to reunite with the roomies.

5) A Flip Cam

Personally, I think everyone should have one of these to document the most memorable (or drunkest) moments in undergrad, but if you haven’t forked over the cash for one just yet, get granny and gramps to do it. This camera is smaller than your regular digi, but holds up to 60 minutes of footage and just fits right into the USB port of your computer for easy uploading. Pair that with iMovie on a MacBook and you could be a YouTube sensation (or superstar among your friends) in no time.

The real world is scary, but fun new toys make it so much more fun.
Good luck out there! (Now you can clap.)

As the Backstreet Boys song says (and yes I am actually quoting them) “My Love is All I Have To Give.” So with that throwback, here are this week’s list-worthy things…]

1. Tis the Season for fabulous gap commercials. Is it just me or have they brought back this striped sweater/scarf ensemble every. Single. Year. Since 1998? When it all started with the multicolored one? At least this year, Jason Biggs, Freddy Rodriguez and Romany Malco make it look oh so cute. Scroll through a variety of ads with your favorite celebs, and pick up some cozy sweaters to boot.

2. ScanMyPhotos - Unfortunately, (or in my case, fortunately) the photos you have laying around your house pre-digi cam and pre-selfies are usually one of a kind. If you lose it, use it in a project, burn it in a séance, etc., it is gone forever. Ideally, you would like to scan every single one of your photos from your 8th grade field trip when you finally held hands with Benjamin. But that takes forever and stalking on Facebook wins out every single time.

Thankfully, this genius company will do all the labor for you. Sure it’s a little disconcerting to send every single hard copy you have away, but it’s well worth it. Every single photo comes back to you plus a disc with every single photo scanned. Now that 4th grade picture of you as a not-so-little kid will be around FOREVER. Case in point: that lovely picture of me to the right. That my brother got scanned. Then loaded onto Facebook. And tagged me in it. Spe-cial.

3. Adorable and affordable party dress. While doing this week’s Celebrity Chic on the Cheap, I came across this fabulous find. It’s metallic without being overly sparkly, it’s sexy without being overly whoreish and it’s the perfect ensemble for your Christmas/Hanukkah/New Year’s party. And if you need to conservative-ify it even more, just throw a black long sleeve shirt and opaque black tights underneath it and now it’s something both you and your dad will love.

4. Nothing says holidays like treats. Especially choclatey candy cane treats. Basically anything that makes your pants so tight that by the time New Years Rolls around you swear you are going to hit the gym “like at least twice a day.” It’s what makes the world go round. So what kind of citizen would I be if I didn’t bring you a recipe for peppermint chocolate fudge? Not a very good one I say.

5. Just when you thought you couldn’t love Pumpkin Spice any more… Philosophy proves you wrong. After a stressful finals study session, take a bath with this delectable Pumpkin Spice Muffin bath and shower gel and forget about that bad grade your TA gave you. What does he know anyway? Not English, that’s for sure.

College and extreme amounts of alcohol go together like Walks of Shame and mascara smudges down the side of your face. What else are you gonna do when the weekend comes? Or when that exam kicks your ass? Or when it’s Tuesday?

And while we at CollegeCandy love to hit the bottle, we do think it’s important to promote drinking in moderation. There is no need to get so drunk you vomit in your hand in the middle of a party. Or get escorted home by your roommates while your other friends search frantically for your skirt. Or wake up on the lawn outside of the dorm…that isn’t yours.

But, if you are gonna do it (and we know you are), at least make sure there are no cameras around, lest you end up like one of these poor souls.

These are the people you don’t want to be. These are the situations you don’t want to find yourself in. You may love the idea of taking funny drunk photos at the moment, but you are drunk and being drunk means making poor decisions.

Do not give in to the urge.

Heed our advice. Listen to our warnings. And don’t let us find you on Flickr and make us say, “I told you so.”

“Ok, so wouldn’t it be hilarious if I pretended like I was going down on you!? HAHAHA! Just make sure you make it look like you are enjoying it. HAHAHHAAH. So good! Everyone is gonna love this!”

Guy 1: “Look at us! We are halfway through Edward 40 Hands and we BARELY FEEL IT YET! We are big and strong men. We will TOTALLY DO THIS!!!”

Guy 2: “Uh, I just realized that I sorta gotta pee….”

Guy 3: “That girl I was trying to impress is over there talkin’ to someone else. And I’m duck-taped. F*ck!”

“Ok, so, like, let’s get dressed up in our favorite pink shirts, straighten our hair and get all cute for the party. And THEN let’s shotgun beers to impress the guys! Oh and can you get a pic of this? Thanks…I have to show my friends my (poor) shotgunning skills!”

“Hahahah! Look at me! I’m working out my inner thighs. <Insert funny sex joke here that really isn’t funny unless you are drunk enough to be doing this on the floor in front of a camera.>”

“Dude, I am the man. I am double-fisting these 4 drinks. Get a picture of this. What? There are only two? Naaaah there are so six. Yo, yo…is the room spinning? Why is my head mad heavy? Did you get the picture? It’s gonna be barf!…. I mean I’m gonna be barf….barf…”

“Look at us and our underwear! We are so sexy! But, seriously. We are all about women’s rights and sh*t. Why doesn’t anyone take us seriously!?”

“It’s my birthday so my friends made me wear this giant sombrero! Ha! It’s so great. I look so cute in it. And look at us doing the whole girl on girl thing! This is what college is about! Make sure you document this. NO ONE’S POSED LIKE THIS BEFORE, EVER!!”

No words necessary.

“Dude! I’ve got the best idea for my new Facebook picture!”

“People think I’m drunk, but would a drunk girl pull down her pants first?!”

“Hahah look at this guy. What a waste of some perfectly good Del Taco.”

“What? Where am I? Where are my shoes? Hhahahahah!! I can’t find my shoes…concrete burn! On my facceee!”

Flickr is a crazy little website. Pictures from all over the world, from crappy and boring “here’s me on the lawn, now here’s me laughing on the lawn” photos to beautiful, artist renderings of pristine landscapes — everything is contained, and easy to find, on this user friendly website.

Why, Flickr is so simple and easy even your grandma could do it!

And someone’s grandma certaily has.

I really can’t say how our office stumbled across this set of photos, but I can say that after searching through about 100 of them, I have never wished there was eye sanitizer more than at this exact moment. I mean…what.the.hell.IS.this?!

She calls herself a MILF (but judging by the photos she really could be a GILF), she has single-handedly killed off an entire herd of cows in order to cover her body with piece after piece of uber tight leather, her “provocative” posing looks more like she A) got clubbed in both kneecaps by the mafia, B) is getting arrested by invisible cop ghosts, or C) is just standing around staring at the wall, and she doesn’t show her entire face but certainly shows enough to be recognized (if god is merciful not by her kids).

In today’s society, anyone with a camera and the ability to upload hundreds upon hundreds of pictures can become a star, and “LeatherChrissy” certainly seems to have the panache to rocket her “mature MILF” status to computer screens everywhere.

My brain is currently malfunctioning (too many images I never wanted to view have been viewed), so I can’t quite figure out what the moral to this story is…but I guess if I had to take a guess? Don’t leave gran home with the digital camera.

[PS: someone in our office was certain LeatherChrissy was this lady...I don't think so. Because if it was, the earth would be exploding right now from incomprehensible ridiculousness]

But being the poor individual that I am, I can’t even afford a digital camera, and the tiny, no sound video application on my phone takes such a long time to start working that whatever I wanted to record is gone and over by the time I’m ready.

And what about those of you about to go abroad? Don’t you wish you had something to capture the exotic sights and sounds with that didn’t cost an entire semester’s tuition to buy?

Well, I think I might have found something that could help us all.

The Flip Video camera is a pocket sized digital camera that comes with a built in USB port and it’s own simple editing software—all for less than about what it would cost you to buy a new outfit.

Ranging from $120-$150, Flip Video cameras seem like a great tool for journalism students, those abroad trips through the rainforest, even a Sunday afternoon where there’s nothing better to do than make a YouTube video. Plus, the under $200 price tag keeps you from feeling like your life is over if the thing breaks.

The Flip Video doesn’t look like it has a very good zoom, and looks as though it has to be constantly hand-held, but it’s small size and affordable price seem to even out those aspects.

Have any of you ever used the Flip Video? Would you recommend it? Or is it just another gadget that seems awesome but ends up being lame?

Welcome to Thursday! Last week I was channeling Grandma, and while some of those habits have carried over from last week (I still can’t get enough of crosswords!), there’s a whole new crop of cool that’s just waiting to be unveiled to you all.

This week is about being healthy and happy. It’s not as hard as you think…

Fashion Obsession: Navy Blue

Everyone’s abuzz with the news that navy is back! Well, did it ever really go anywhere? Not to me! It’s been a long standing fashion no-no to pair navy blue and black, but not anymore, and I couldn’t be more excited. What’s even better is that it’s so easy to hop on the blue bandwagon that there’s no excuse not to give it a shot!

Check out this adorable little frock from TopShop (love the collar) or this navy raincoat from Forever 21 that is cute as a button!

Technology Obsession: Nikon D40

Last week, I featured the DigiWalker C720T which was more a GPS system than digi cam. But the Nikon D40 is my choice this week for a super powerful digital SLR camera for not only its user friendly design but its ultra sharp quality.

Remember last week when I mentioned my love for taking walks? Bringing a camera along always makes for a memorable adventure and opens your eyes to things you might overlook otherwise. We may not all live in a big city, but give taking a long walk a shot this week. It’s totally worth it!

Health and Body Obsession: Yoga

I’ve never been the most athletic girl.

Sure, I played softball when I was little and would dabble in volleyball and golf (not exactly terribly athletic, anyway…) as I reached high school, but I was never one to hit up the gym after dinner like the rest of my friends. But lately, I’ve been noticing just how hard it is to walk up the five flights of stairs to the office every morning and that’s when I knew it was due time I strengthened up. So, what did I do?

Yoga! Vasantha Yoga is my practice of choice and I totally love how it focuses my breathing and destressed me while I get the health benefits without even realizing it!

For those of you looking to spice it up a bit? Word on the street is that Crunch Gyms are adding a Kama Sutra Yoga class.

Sign me up!

Food Obsession: Bento Boxes

Call me crazy, but I have this weird fascination with containers. I know, I know, it’s probably just some strange kind of OCD tendency rearing its head, but nontheless, I love ‘em.

That’s why when I came across these, I knew I had to learn more. Bento Boxes here in the States are usually found on the menu at your local sushi place, but you can buy your own little one to use for your own office (or classroom) lunches.

I love this concept because I’ve always been a fan of the traditional lunchbox but feel silly, at 23, carrying one around. This solves that problem.

Extra bonus? Bringing your lunch everyday will not only save you money but will allow you to control exactly what you’re eating which will keep you healthy…and happy!

See you next week!

If you are like me, you are totally hesitant about becoming a Real Person with a real schedule and real responsibilities. And if you aren’t dreading the hard, fast and very rude awakening you are about to undergo, I’m here to tell you to jump on this train because it is going to suck.

But there is one thing to look forward to while you are home unpacking all your memories, sifting through pictures of your senior bar crawl and thinking about how it’s only downhill from here on out… graduation gifts! Now that deserves a whoop-de-do (with an exclamation point) !

Only problem is whenever I am put on the spot with a “What do you want for graduation?” it seems as though I can never think of anything and end up getting gifts I don’t really have any use for.

To solve that problem I am bringing you a list of gift ideas to get/give from parents, siblings, friends, grandparents, your mailman (how cool would you feel if you’re mailman actually got you a graduation gift?!) and so on.

iPod: If you don’t have one or if yours is outdated and has a shitty battery (ahem, mine) these make a great gift. The shuffle, nano and regular iPod hit three different price points making it an affordable gift option.

Starbucks Gift Card: Ah Starbucks, my addiction, my vice, the light of my life- if only you weren’t so damn overpriced I wouldn’t have to cringe everyday at your register. That’s why Starbucks gift cards are the best. Whether you will be a grad student, an underpaid journalist who can’t afford Starbucks any longer or a busy in a high powered-long hour’ed business world these cards are gifts from heaven.

Work Wardrobe: Sad as it is your daily sweats and sorority zip-up ensemble will no longer be appropriate for your 9-5er. But at least you get to go shopping! And with a gift certificate to your local mall, favorite department store or Banana Republic (great work clothes), you can get a new wardrobe at someone else’s expense. There is nothing better than that.

Digital Camera: Maybe I am the only one who is technologically cursed, but after 4 years, my digi cam, iPod and laptop have all taken a beating. Now is a good time to ask for a camera that is brand-spakin-new. Check Costco for great deals on Digital Cameras.

Gym Membership: Let’s face it, next year when you are paying your own way, and it comes down to a new shirt/a few extra drinks a month or paying for a gym membership you will choose the former. Getting a membership as a gift will give you no excuse to stay home on your bum.

Electronic organizer/blackberry/PDA: Any of these devices can help you stay organized and on top of things in the real world. This will of course make you effortlessly appear mature and professional (even though we all know it’s just a facade).

Money: Yes it’s boring, but this way you can save up for something you really want, or have some extra cash laying around to help pay for “real people” things like credit card bills, rent, insurance and such.

Scrapbook stuff/gift card: Not only is this a creative gift option but it will also give you something to do during the summer. Having a scrapbook with your favorite college pics is a great thing to pull out on those depressed, ‘take me back to freshman year’ days.

Congrats on graduating!

Long story short, the viewing screen broke in some freak beer slide accident (I’d rather not go into detail). Whoops. Now I have a Nikon and although I’ve taken extra special care of it, it’s totally not cutting it anymore. There are like a bajillion flashes before a picture gets taken so my friends tend to avoid getting in any of my pics. That just won’t due.

So Nikon, I’m sorry, but it’s over. I’ve been lusting after the Kodak Easy Share V803 and he should be arriving shortly in a pretty little package.

I discovered this beautiful diggie recently and it has all the features I’ve been dreaming of. First of all, it comes in eight colors (yep, light pink is one of them … and red, purple, white, black, silver, gold and navy). It’s small, captures all the crisp, lovely details of any photo op and, above all, it doesn’t have an incessant, annoying flash. Sold.

And in terms of digital camera prices, this one’s very reasonable — $199.95. (Sorry, Mom, put this one on your credit card — hey, it was an emergency.)