Take off your shirt, Penn. That will protect you!

I love a good edge-of-your-seat, will-I-or-will-I-not-pee-my-pants kind of thriller movie. Something about not knowing whether or not I’m going to scream or cry or lose control of my bladder really delights me. Which is why I’ve been counting down the minutes since I first saw the commercial for “The Stepfather” (and then saw it again 1,000 times) during Gossip Girl a few weeks back.

And it’s finally here! So, this weekend I am forgoing my usual drinking plans, grabbing a boy (a strong boy who can wrap his big, muscle-y arms around me when I’m crying) and scaring the crap out of myself at the movies.

In this remake of the 1987 version, “The Stepfather” is about a man who moves in with his fiance and her family, and then his sketch appears on America’s Most Wanted. For killing his former families. Talk about a buzz kill for that engagement.

But hey, brutal killers need love too, don’t they?

As much as I love the idea of this Step-DILF trying to kill his new family, the real reason I’m willing to give up $2 draft night is the one and only Penn Badgley. And the multiple gratuitous topless shots I spied in the trailer. What more can a girl ask for? Personally, I’m excited to see how Penn gets to the bottom of this mystery… in as little clothing as possible.

With Halloween right around the corner, it’s time to get in the spirit. Watching Penn Badgley fight off a murderer is way better than any haunted house you may go to or the 128th installment of SAW. Really? Another one!?

So grab a guy (and an adult diaper?) and head to the nearest movie theater.
You can hit up $2 draft night on the way home and drink away the nightmares.

Happy (almost) Father’s Day! We know you guys aren’t dads (and if there are any dads reading this, well, that’s just sorta icky), but you are most likely celebrating one. Just because you’re showering your dad with gifts of bacon and neckties, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a little somethin’ somethin’ for yourself.

So we’re bringing you the hottest celebrity dads around. Because while it may be gross to think of your dad as a hottie (OMG…can’t….get…that…image….out…of….my….head….), it’s totally fine to celebrate the hotness that is the Celebrity DILF.

What we wouldn’t give to have these guys bounce us on their knee for a few. Come to mama!
[Click images to see them in all their daddy glory!]