No scratch that, I hate it, actually. But what I do like is what that week represents. It’s the beginning of the end. The start of the finish. You’re over the hump. The semester is almost over. You’ve finally reached those last few dreadful weeks. And okay, maybe that doesn’t seem like something to be happy about, maybe you want to pull your hair out right now? Maybe you’re stressed? Sure, but just think, in a couple of weeks it will all be over.

How can you be sure that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Here are just a few signs that the semester is almost over.

10. You’ll do anything to avoid your homework. Okay. Time to get serious. You have a lot to get done these less few weeks. Time to buckle down and start working. No distractions. No Facebook. No phones. Reading time. But wait…you have been meaning to reorganize your desk. And your bookshelf. And…you get the idea.

9. You’re staying in instead of going out. Thirsty Thursday? Try thesis Thursday. You have so many papers due, so many pages of reading to get through, so much to get done in such a short amount of time you can’t even think about going out. Well, okay you think about it (and even plan your outfit) but then you don’t go. And you reward yourself for being such a studious student by taking a five minute break to Facebook-stalk. The next thing you know, four hours have gone by and your roommate is stumbling in, ready to tell you all about her great night. The one you missed.  And you still didn’t do you reading. Oops.

8. You can no longer find a seat in the library. It’s not like you’re hanging out in the library all that often, but every once in a while when you need to take a nap write  a paper, you head on over, and you expect there to be seating. But towards the end of the semester? You can’t even find a floor spot in the corner near a plug.

7. Each and every one of those people fit into one of these categories. Go read them. No explanation needed.

6. Facebook statuses start appearing in countdown code. You know, those Facebook statuses that start popping up about a week before the semester ends, listing everything the person needs to get done between now and then. Sort of like, five finals, four papers, three days, two meetings, and one nap until winter break. Not that I’ve ever participated in such a thing. Not at all.

5. You’ve decided it no longer makes sense to do laundry. There’s only a few weeks left of the semester, and your Mom helped you out so much when you were home for Thanksgiving. You’ve got enough undies to get you by. If you just hold off until then, you won’t have to scrounge for change or waste precious moments waiting for your clothes to dry. Mom will be happy to help. And you can make it. Sort of….

Did you just sniff your shirt?

4. You have to use your credit card for your coffee. I don’t live on campus so I don’t have a meal plan. But I do have did have flexicash (you know, like a giftcard for the student coffee shop). It provides me with infinite amounts of caffeine and chocolate chip muffins whenever I need them. Except now. Because I ran out. Just when I need my coffee the most, DAMNIT!!! The other day, I charged change. Yes, change. 89 cents to be exact. For a banana. It’s time for winter break.

3. You’re no longer speaking to your roommate. You two are actually quite close, really. But it’s that kind of close that only works for small periods of time. Not months and months in cramped quarters. And not during such a trying time in your life. Sure, her jokes are cute and funny in October, but now? Now the only thing that makes you laugh is the thought of beating her with a pillow while she sleeps.

2. Professors can’t even be bothered to show up to class. In the past month, my professor has canceled my Senior Seminar more times than I can count. You know it’s bad when a senior’s response to a canceled class is “Again?” followed by a disgruntled groan. I firmly believe that if your professor can’t be even be bothered to make it to class then it’s just time to call it a semester already. We won’t mind, really.

1. You can’t even remember the last time you read for class. I don’t know about you ladies, but once the last few weeks of the semester approach (or basically as soon as I come back from Thanksgiving) I just can’t seem to find it in me to read for class anymore. I mean, the semester is practically over, isn’t it? And you have so many papers to finish up, and final assignments to turn in that those books you won’t need to know anything about (because that class doesn’t have a final) seem less and less important.

Ew. Is it over yet?!

[Check out Jenn's other musings-in-the-form-of-a-list here.]

No one's getting booty in this room. Trust.

It’s the Scout Motto: Always be prepared. But I don’t think my Girl Scout troop leader was referring to booty calls when she ingrained that piece of advice into my head.

On a college campus you never know who you’re going to meet… and then want to take back to your room… to get to know each other better. The last thing you want is to bring a suitor home one night and have them leave the next morning without their wallet because it’s lost in a sea of your dirty laundry (true story). Or worse, bring them home and have them remember they have “somewhere to be” (at 3 a.m.) after spotting your My Little Pony collection on your nightstand.

Being prepared for spontaneity may be an oxymoron, but it has safely guarded my dignity and late night encounters thus far. Here are a few life tips I have adapted in my quest to divide and conquer, without letting those boys see my Spanx.

Good Idea: Have some sexy lingerie out on the bed. There’s no reason your guy can’t be led to believe that you sleep in see-through nightgowns every night of the week. He can file that one away right alongside “girls never poop.”
Bad Idea: Procrastination and laundry are my two archenemies, but it’s simply never a good idea to have your dirty laundry sprawled across the floor, including the granny panties you’ve been wearing all week. Helpful tip: no one will see it when it’s stuffed at the bottom of your closet.

Good Idea: Having pictures of your friends displayed throughout your room.
Bad Idea: Having a framed picture of your dad holding a 12-gauge shotgun. Let’s be real. That’s not going to set the mood.

Good Idea: Candles may be banned in dorm rooms, but try your best to keep your room smelling nice. The scent of fresh laundry or perfume wafting through your room will keep your guy coming back for more. Or, at the very least, he won’t be repulsed by the aroma of old milk and mildew.
Bad Idea: Having three half-eaten boxes of pizza scattered around the room. Two-day old pepperoni has an unforgettable scent that is sure to make you gag upon catching a whiff. Moldy cheese is not an aphrodisiac – don’t forget that.

Good Idea: A freshly made bed with crisp sheets and fluffy pillows.
Bad Idea: A freshly made bed covered in 42 pillows shaped like cats.

Good Idea: Continual bikini line and leg hair maintenance.
Bad Idea: Not shaving from November to April to reduce your heating bill and still keep warm. He may love to stroke your hair, but not when it’s on your legs.

Good Idea: Having a copy of the Kama Sutra on your bookshelf amongst other notable books and novels. Impressive and sexy. Now he can love you for your brains and your sexual prowess.
Bad Idea: Asking him to read you a few chapters of Twilight before bed. It’s either that or a chapter from Sex for Dummies, which has a prominent place on your nightstand. Awkward.

Good Idea: Having a variety of condoms readily available to you.
Bad Idea: No matter what anyone says, neither saran wrap nor chicken skin is an acceptable form of birth control.

His Place

Pro: You don’t have to worry about the pile of dirty laundry on your bedroom floor.

Con: You have no idea if he has to worry about the pile of dirty laundry on his bedroom floor.

Your Place

Pro: You can easily access your toothbrush and contact lens solution.

Con: He can easily access all of the secrets of your medicine cabinet.

His Place

Pro: You don’t have to worry about waking up/sexiling your roommate.

Con: You have to worry about his roommates.

Your Place

Pro: You won’t have to take a walk of shame in the morning.

Con: You risk your entire floor seeing him leave your room.

His Place

Pro: You can sidestep the awkward morning-after moment by creeping out of the room.

Con: If he doesn’t live within walking distance, you’re going to have to rouse him for a potentially awkward drive home.

Your Place

Pro: You can sleep better in your own bed.

Con: You have to wait for him to wake up, and then politely kick him out the next morning.

His Place

Pro: He has to entertain you with the facade of the pre-hook-up movie and a few icebreaking drinks.

Con: He might NOT entertain you with the facade of the pre-hook-up movie and a few icebreaking drinks.

Your Place

Pro: You know the layout, so you won’t bump into the wall on the way to the bathroom, or accidentally stumble into his roommate’s room.

Con: Now he knows where you live.

Depending on the guy you’re with, either scenario is win or lose. If your place is closer and neither of you are under the driving limit, it’s definitely worth hitting up your own place, no matter how many pairs of dirty underwear you have strewn throughout your room. If you share a bunkbed with another girl, it’s obvious that you should be scouting out a different place to hook up. And if you’re not comfortable letting him know where you live, or being brought to an unfamiliar place, perhaps it’s in your best interest to exchange numbers and continue your tryst soberly, and in daylight.

Ah, spring. The bees are buzzing. The birds are singing. The flowers are blooming. It’s gorgeous outside, all sun and bright colors and cool green grass. All you really want to do is take your textbooks outside and do your work on the green. Mostly because your room is a complete and utter mess.

Spring cleaning is that thing you hear about that usually applies to houses, right? Wrong. Spring cleaning can apply to apartments and dorms, too. The smaller a space is, the more cluttered it gets and the more quickly it happens. Before you know it, you have to shovel a path from the door to your bed – and you do NOT have the time to clean it up.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t need an hour or two to clean your room; just 15 minutes will do. Muchly inspired by Fly Lady’s 15 Minute de-cluttering guide, here’s how to get your dorm or even your bedroom clean (or at least, cleaner) in just a quarter of an hour.

Make up your bed. It’s the biggest part of your room, probably. It’s your focal point, definitely. It only takes a few minutes to straighten out your sheets and put the pillow where it belongs. If there’s stuff on your bed, dump it onto the floor. Yeah, you heard me. Dump it. Making your bed is kind of an instant gratification thing; in about one minute, you can see a major difference in your room.

Grab the dirty clothes. Bet you a bunch of the stuff on your bed and what is now on the floor was dirty laundry, wasn’t it? Grab your hamper and put the dirty clothes where they belong. Do not do the sniff test. If it was on the floor, you probably need to wash it again, anyway.

Toss out the trash. Those flashcards for the test you had last week, that empty pizza box, that pen you know is out of ink but you hope will magically start working again…they’re all trash. Toss ‘em. My favorite method of dealing with trash, the 27 item toss, comes straight from Fly Lady; grab a garbage bag, grab 27 seven items that you know fully well are trash, close the bag, and dump ‘em. I like to time myself and out do former records.

Put miscellaneous stuff in a basket. It can be any container you want, really, but you have to keep it in view so that you can deal with it later, when you DO have the time. Anything you haven’t thrown out or put away yet, throw it into something; a wicker garbage can, a Tupperware container, even your bookbag. It has to be something you need to use soon, however, or else the stuff’ll just sit there. Knowing you need whatever is holding your random crap will inspire you to sort it later.

Wiping, sweeping, and mopping. This part is the easiest part. Once all of your stuff is relatively taken care of, grab a broom and sweep the floor. Vacuum if you think it’ll save you time and you know there’s nothing on your floor that’ll cause a nasty calamity. If you care to, mop, but don’t just wave the mop over parts of the floor. Really actually mop. Finally, grab some paper towels or disinfectant wipes and wipe down surfaces like your desk, the TV, the TV stand, and so forth.

If your room wasn’t that bad to begin with, you’re probably done. If it’s a bit of a mess, you may need another 15 minute spree to take care of it. If you would make a pig uncomfortable, do this in installments instead; 15 minutes for your desk on Monday, 15 minutes for laundry on Tuesday, and so forth and so on. Your room will be clean before you know it, and you’ll be free to go outside and enjoy the weather – and it’ll be because you want to!