A growing sense of disdain for Dubya didn’t cut it. Being able to register at the DMV just didn’t do the trick either. P. Diddy couldn’t get us to do it, for Christ’s sake. So just what will it take to seriously win the youth vote? We are, after all, 20 million strong and dammit we deserve to be wooed!

I, for one, would like to see an increase in, shall we say, “game” from candidates both blue and red. McCain, obviously, has taken a step toward this lofty goal by recruiting the support of one of our high holy leaders. Sorry, Obama, that you have neglected to secure such a prestigious pledge of loyalty from the chosen generation (us, duh) but feel free to borrow any of these gems that I think would increase voter turnout for those of the youthful persuasion. You see gentlemen, the key to our hearts is to manipulate our basic dependence upon the following:

Natty Lite

Slap some platform positions on the back of those bad boys and cover up the saddening nutrition facts–we don’t need to see that anyways. I consider this a double-edged sword. Not only would the important issues be readily at hand (provided you go coozie-less), but additionally, voters can appreciate the conversational lubrication that is cheap beer. As inspiring as 4.2% alcohol can be to philosophical convos (if you drink, don’t EVEN pretend you’ve never been there post bar crawl!) that stuff takes a while to imbibe, making those discussions last just a wee bit longer. Now that a pseudo intellectual discush has gone down, both candidates have enjoyed spirited (literally) debate over their issues that should inspire sober consideration come November. Read More »

Trust me, I am a girly girl. My makeup drawer is bigger than my sock drawer, I check my reflection in every mirror (or window) I pass, and nothing makes me smile like a brand new pair of shoes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hate girls…right?

Well, not hate, necessarily. More like find things about them that just make me embarrassed to be a girl and want to be one of the guys. I have most recently realized these feelings of disdain while watching back to back episodes of My Super Sweet 16 and The Hills. And spending the past week hanging out with a big group of frat-tastic boys.

1. Girls are catty – when we are put in a room together we will find anything (and I mean anything) to argue about. Or, a few of us will find a corner and separate ourselves from the rest of the group in order to talk badly about the others. When guys are put in a room they watch tv or play video games. They fart. They laugh. They have a good time.

2. Girls won’t let anyone kiss/date/talk to anyone they have ever kissed/dated/talked to – It doesn’t matter if it was last week or in second grade; if she dated him, you can’t go near him. And if you do? Watch your back, bitch. Guys, on the other hand, really couldn’t care less. In fact, many like when they “share” a girl so they can compare stories.

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