3D movies are all the rage right now. While they’ve been around for a while, Avatar took the 3D experience to the next level and now almost every movie is in 3D. Harry Potter, Twilight, Pirates of the Caribbean, Cars 2…they all took the silver screen in the third dimension, along with many other films. I like 3D, but sometimes it can make my head hurt and my eyes go all wacky. I don’t personally enjoy seeing movies with real actors and actresses in that fashion, but give me an animated cartoon and I’m all over that.

Disney took The Lion King out of the vault and re-released it in theaters in 3D, which I’m going to see this Friday! Everyone I know that’s seen it has said it rocked their childhood world. I’m beyond excited, and there are some other childhood favorites that I’d love to watch in 3D as well:

1. Beauty and the Beast: The best part of this would be the “Be Our Guest” sequence. All of those plates, mugs and utensils flying everywhere. Anytime the wardrobe opened, something would pop out at you. You would feel like you’re having a snowball fight with Belle and Beast, an

2. The Little Mermaid: It will legit feel like you’re under the sea. While I don’t particularly want to see Ursala like that, the rest of it would be super cool. The shipwreck, Sebastian escaping the chef, “A Part of Your World” and “Kiss the Girl” in 3D? Yes please.

3. The Rescuers Down Under: This is an underrated Disney movie, and I think it could serve well as a re-release. There is so much adventure in this movie that would be ten times better in 3D. You’ve got mice and kangaroo rats rescuing an Australian kid and an eagle, how is that not awesome?

4. Aladdin: Genie.in.3D! All of those wishes right in your face! Yeah, it’d be a little frightening when he’s the bad genie and Jasmine is being suffocated with sand, but I’d love to see Aladdin steal that lamp a la Indiana Jones style. Can’t you just picture the magic carpet ride being so much more magical?

5. Mulan: I would love to see one of my favorite Disney heroines, Mushu and that adorable cricket duke it out against the Huns in 3D. That battle in the snow would be incredible, not to mention those fireworks! I also think “Be A Man” would benefit in 3D.

Even though we love 3D movies, there are some that just shouldn’t make the conversion.

Here are ten things you are definitely never too old for:

1. Glitter: Although you got away with wearing glittery lip gloss and questionable glittery eye shadows as a preteen, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a little glitz and glam now. Seriously, if Lady Gaga and Katy Perry can rock glitter on a daily basis, so can you. Not sure how to pull off glitter without looking like a five-year-old that got a little too crazy at the arts and crafts table? Add a glittery top coat to your nail polish or go for a subtle glitzy shimmer in your eyeshadow. Want to be a little over the top? Go for the gold in a metallic glittery shirt. Worst case scenario is that you look like a Claire’s employee. Best case: you look hot.

2. Pigtails: Preschoolers aren’t the only ones that can rock this look. While you probably don’t want to be known as “pigtail girl” around campus, going out with pigtails could be a fun and flirty alternative to your everyday hair. You probably had your pig tails pulled up high, so for a more-adult approach to this look that you’re never too old for — sport them lower. Also, pigtails work incredibly well when you’re working out.

3. Licking the bowl of batter: You know you did it when you were younger. Your mom baked a cake and you couldn’t keep your little hands out of the chocolately goodness. Go ahead — dip your finger in the mix. Or, just dig in with a spoon. Or don’t even cook the batter and just go after the cookie dough. You’re definitely not too old to enjoy any kind of sweets — baked or not. Go ahead, no one’s looking!

4. Sleeping With A Stuffed Animal: Just because you’re in college doesn’t mean you have to leave your favorite stuffed animal at home, you know the one that you have been sleeping with since you were two years old. While you probably shouldn’t bring your Beanie Baby collection and your CareBear stuffed animal set along with you, you don’t have to give up your best bed buddy entirely now that you’re 21. However, we do recommend you refrain from setting up your Polly Pockets on your dorm desk.

5. Reading Books For Girls: Who says that just because you’re an English major writing a thesis about Shakespeare’s heroines that you can’t appreciate your favorite book as a fourteen year old? Even though you aren’t writing essays about the importance of Harriet the Spy, it doesn’t mean you can’t go back to those old books you loved. Now that you’re older, maybe you’ll get something entire different out of them. Also, just because you never got the chance to read that Judy Blume novel you wanted to read, you don’t have to give up hope. Read it! No one will judge you reading a book for a high school girl. You can still feel young at heart with each turn of the page.

6. Disney Movies: Every group of girls should at least have a Disney night throughout their college career. Remember how you loved The Little Mermaid so much? Watch it. You don’t always have to watch rated-R movies and crappy comedies about bromances. For so many kids, Disney was a main staple, so chances are that you and your friends will all have your own opinions about the best movies and the best Disney princesses.

7. Calling Your Parents: So you had a bad day in class — call your mom and cry about it. Although you may feel silly calling your mom to cry when you’re away at college, it’s not silly at all. You used to do it all the time, back in the days of glittery lip gloss and tutus. Not only will you feel better to be consoled by your mom or dad, you will make your parents feel like you still need them. In fact, call your parents frequently. I’m not talking about every day, but check in and say hi. Just because you’re out of the house doesn’t mean you can’t count on them. However, I think it’s safe to say that the one time you shouldn’t call your parents is when you’re drunk…all you need is one slurred word and they’ll have campus safety on the lookout for you.

8. Top 40 Hits: Just because it’s 2010 and the Backstreet Boys haven’t had a major hit in a few years doesn’t mean you can’t rock your body and sing along to “I Want It That Way.” In fact, you’re never too old for top 40 hits from back in the day. Remember when Britney was a school girl with pigtails? If not, you should re-vist this because no matter how grown up you are, pop music can still make you feel whatever age you were when it was a hit. Instant nostalgia anytime, courtesy of iTunes and the radio!

9.  Old TV Shows: You are never too old to go back and re-watch TV series’ such as Boy Meets World, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, and Clarissa Explains It All. In fact, you’re never too old to indulge in the drama of your favorite coming-of-age WB (remember when it was called the WB?) shows such as Dawson’s Creek, Felicity, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While these shows might be a blast from the past, it doesn’t mean you can’t watch them with as much glee as you once did.

10. Saying “When I Grow Up”: Just because you’re “grown up” now doesn’t mean you can’t think of the future and what you want it to bring you. With the same vigor that you possessed when you were dying for your mom to paint your nails, get excited about the future and when you “grow up.” Don’t be scared to say things like “I’ll get botox when I grow up” and “I can’t wait to grow up and not drink boxed wine.”

Success?

I was a huge Disney princess fan growing up; I had the Sleeping Beauty sleeping bag, I dressed up as Belle for Halloween…every year, and I even still know all the songs by heart. And can occasionally be heard singing them in the shower. Recently, as yet another way to procrastinate studying for my finals, my suitemates and I Netflixed the Disney version of Cinderella and spent a girls night enjoying one of the greatest classics of all time.

Much like the Golden Girls and The Simpsons, looking at one of my favorite childhood movies from a slightly more mature perspective was a completely new experience. I was alarmed by some of the things I saw. No, there weren’t any dirty jokes that once went over my head, but there were some seriously flawed messages being conveyed to the young and impressionable viewers. One, that evil people all have really big butts. The other, Disney’s very jaded, very antiquated definition of success for a woman.

At the end of any princess movie (or romantic comedy, for that matter) the girl is successful because she gets the guy. It doesn’t matter how awesome her life was before (Hello, Ariel was a princess and got to live under da sea!), she isn’t successful unless someone’s put a ring on it.

I hate the idea that success for women is defined simply by meeting the man who can make everything better. And I hate that I spent a good chunk of my life buying into that crap. As a single lady in the 21st century, I very much believe that before you can fall in love with someone else, you have to know and be confident in who you are. That’s what a healthy relationship develops from. And that confidence is what ultimately leads to a woman’ success, married or not.

So while Cinderella may not be successful until she finds the man that makes her a princess, I know that in real life there are so many more options to define success for us girls. Like dominating your university’s academics. Or making a name for yourself in student groups. Or surrounding yourself with some pretty kick-ass people. Because, yes, the people around us are important, but that doesn’t have to include some dude.

We all spend so much time getting dolled up to go out and meet guys at parties, in class and in student groups. And when we’re not primping, we’re analyzing. And talking. And sometimes stalking. But for what? If we spent half as much time trying to woo some guy, we could focus our attention on more important things. Things that truly make us successful. Things that make us feel good on our own.

Because independent success feels good.

Eventually our Prince Charming might show up, but until then, I am just fine being a successfully single Cinderella twirling at the ball with my girlfriends.

It’s the subject of half the love songs out there: soul mates and the idea of a happily ever after that awaits those lucky enough to find the so-called Knight in Shining Armor.  Take Taylor Swift’s “Love Story” for example, the poster child for a happy ending:

And I said,
“Romeo save me – I’ve been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think-”

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
“Marry me, Juliet – you’ll never have to be alone.
I love you and that’s all I really know.
I talked to your dad – go pick out a white dress;
It’s a love story – baby just say ‘Yes.’”

Beautiful, right?  Makes your eyes mist up a bit?  Of course it does, it’s the quintessential love story.  Girl meets guy.  There is drama. Guy leaves. Girl waits for guy.  Guy comes back.  Cue the happily ever after.  Except…wait a second.  He left her, right?  And she waited around for him without any indication he was coming back?  Um, we might need to reconsider this.

Let’s look at some more examples.  Movies like The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, When Harry Met Sally, hell, even He’s Just Not That Into You, and many more all have the same theme of love overcoming huge obstacles.  But are these movies ruining us?  Should we be waiting around for our soul mate to show up and magically make our life into some romantic movie?  Where is our happily ever after??

Well…it’s here right now, if you want it.

You can have your happy ending any time you want and then go out and have another one (and another one and so on).  “Happily ever after” doesn’t have to mean years of pining alone, waiting for your knight to have his adventures and come back for you.  Um, what about your adventures?

I’m not saying throw romance out the window, not even close.  However, romance isn’t only to be found patiently loving your prince from afar, Disney-style.  Sometimes your prince needs to be hunted down.  And guess what?  This sweet world of ours has a lot of princes.  I even met a prince last weekend at a club (he doesn’t speak English fluently, but that’s okay, I don’t discriminate among princes).  The world of our generation is even bigger than Cinderella’s – we have planes, trains, automobiles, and the internet.  Places like plentyoffish.com and nerve.com are pretty much smorgasbords for guys in hypothetical crowns.

Just be warned: in real life, princes are effed-up.  They come from highly selective and traditionally inbred families and are often brought up to develop narcissistic tendencies (um, yikes).  So prince is a relative term and often misunderstood.  Just saying, maybe you should be looking for a nice dude who you can have a good time with rather than some crazy-ass royal.

You have a choice, my friends.  You can sit at home and have your Disney romance (you better have TiVo because you’re gonna have a lot of down time) or you can go out and seize your love life by the balls (literally, if you like).  In my opinion, it’s about time to get a handful of genitalia.

When I was in middle school and I had to choose between two boys who wanted to take me to the 7th grade dance, my mom told me to make a list. (Mind you, that was the last time I ever had 2 boys fighting over me…) After noting that one of the boys had far more cons (like picking his nose…and eating it), I had my answer. Since then, I’ve used lists to make all of my difficult life decisions: beer or vodka, Kris Allen or Adam Lambert, flats or wedges…

And now: which celeb is worse for the future of society.

This week’s showdown is between two ladies who are tainting our youth, one racy photo at a time: Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus. Who is wreaking more havoc? Let’s break it down:

Disney Career

Miley Cyrus, or should I say Hannah Montana, was abducted into the Disney cult at the young age of rwelve. With a hit TV show, spin-off movie, and record deal, I’m not sure if Miley will be hanging up that hideous blond wig any time soon.

Lindsay Lohan, also paid her Disney dues, starring in The Parent Trap, Life Size, Freaky Friday, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, and Herbie Fully Loaded. Sadly, the freckles faded (or perhaps were spray tanned over) and Lindsay broke her ties to Disney to pursue other acting gigs

Point: Miley Cyrus. Maybe it’s time Miley moved on to bigger and better things (it’s not like all those Disney movies did Lindsay any good, anyway). Besides, that whole double persona thing confuses the crap out of me.

Racy Pics

Miley Cyrus started small with some provocative bff pics, you know, just sharing a gummy worm with the bestie, eating lollipops, and rolling around on the ground together. But that was just the beginning. Soon after, Miley was jonesing for more Lolita love and stripped down to her skivvies. I like to refer to these as the panty pics, because, for God knows what reason, Miley decided to hold a photo sesh in her underwear (Myspace style). Of course the pictures leaked. I’ve been saving the best for last, because for her grand finale, Miley graced the cover of Vanity Fair in nothing but a sheet. Everybody on Team Miley lost their sh*t and denied any involvement in the decision. Hey, she ‘s just being Miley, right?

Lindsay Lohan posed for her Vanity Fair cover in a little white bikini. She waited to reveal her bits a few pages in a la Marilyn Monroe. The whole thing wasn’t terribly scandalous, but don’t you worry, there’s plenty more scandal in Lindsay’s photo past. First, I have two words for you: Fire Crotch. Seemed like Lindsay had something to prove after that little nick name became public. Then there were the  Vanessa Minnilo Knife Pictures.  But who am I to judge, I’m sure it was just your average house party when the knife play got a little out of control. Oh, and how could we forget when Lindsay passed out in that car?! God bless the paparazzi for capturing that gleaming moment in Lindsay’s life.

Point: Lindsay Lohan. A vag flash, knife pic and passing out drunk on camera? The only way Miley could top that is if someone got a shot of her in a threesome with the Jonas Brothers…and all of T.I.’s guns.

Role Model

Miley Cyrus likes to talk about her good morals. This could be great as far as being a role model. Who doesn’t want someone with strong moral values and an awesome work ethic to give kids someone to look up to? Unfortunately, Miley has been a little hypocritical as far as those morals go. Just look at the photo evidence if you don’t believe me.

Lindsay Lohan had a very public lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson. This could have been a great opportunity for Lindsay to step up as a role model for the gay community and break some of the stereotypes associated with lesbians and bisexuals. Lindsay didn’t really come through, though. There was more focus on the negative instead of the positive in that relationship; drug allegations, restraining orders and public screaming matches don’t exactly promote a healthy image.

Point: Lindsay Lohan. I don’t really think anybody should be looking up to Lindsay Lohan right now.

Branding

Miley Cyrus has Hannah Montana stuff EVERYWHERE. I don’t think I’ve ever went shopping without seeing that big toothy smile. She has DVDs,  wigs, make up, handbags, backpacks, dolls, CDs, books, boardgames, toilet seats… Yes, I said toilet seats. Need I continue?

Lindsay Lohan had her own line of leggings, but right now she’s sticking to spray tan. It sounds like a cruel joke but it’s true – the queen of orange glow is taking her spray tan wisdom to the public with Sevin Nyne.

Point: Miley Cyrus. I know she’s probably raking in the cash, but nobody should ever put their face on a toilet seat. Seriously, she’s just asking to be pissed on.

Fame Whore Parents

Miley Cyrus is the daughter Billy Ray Cyrus (you know, Achey Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus.) When your dad was once a famous country singer (with chaps and a mullet) who is no longer in the limelight, you are already in danger of crossing into crazy stage-parent territory. Add in that Miley’s dad co-stars in Hannah Montana with her and you have a full fledged fame whore dad. It probably doesn’t help that Billy Ray has that very creepy Joe Simpson vibe going for him either.

Lindsay Lohan’s family loooooooves publicity. Doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, Dina and Michael Lohan will take any opportunity to talk to a tabloid, call a radio show, or write to a website. I’m surprised they haven’t hired sky writers yet. Like Billy Ray, Dina claims she attempted her own career as a rockette. She settled for a reality show and status as a fame whore parent instead.

Point: Lindsay Lohan. Let’s just say the Lohans are a little more involved in their daughter’s life. And by “involved” I mean “get drunk with her and call the paps to be outside when they leave.”

Celebretard Prize Goes To: Lindsay Lohan. As much as it pains me, I really can’t hate on Miley this time.

During Orientation, people began to cling together because, in truth, all of us were friendless. So my group of friends developed depending on with whom I ate lunch one day, who also got lost trying to return to my dorm after a party, or who was sitting next to me at one of the many assemblies. I am not complaining about my friends — they are all genuinely nice people – but I wonder: if we had gone to school from pre-K to twelfth grade, would they even give me a second glace? Would I give them?

I feel like making these friends so hastily isn’t really making any true connections. Maybe this is because I’ve never moved away, and so have known all my high school friends for years. I know them inside and out, and I am really grateful for them. Now I have plenty more people programmed into my cell phone than I did in last fall. I can call over ten girls to go eat lunch, or procrastinate by watching a movie. I can say hello to at least five friends every time I walk somewhere.

But what kind of claim is that, when I don’t know anything about them other than the generic five questions I have asked and been asked for the last few weeks. 1) What’s your name? 2) What dorm do you live in? 3) What are you interested in studying? 4) Where are you from? 5) Do you want to exchange cell phone numbers?

There is no number 6: What is it about you that would make us good friends?

The problem for me is that I do not know how to put myself out there — really let people know how I act around my old friends — without being ridiculous. I don’t think I am stifling my whole personality, but I am definitely holding back my love of cheesy Disney movies and my obsessive grammar corrections.

And so I now question as to whether my new friends are doing the same.

Are they truly this nice and smart and driven and friendly all the time? Because although they’re easygoing, they seem too normal and perfect to get along with a quirky kid like me. I almost wish there were a day where everyone could just let it out there, where I could burst into singing High School Musical 2 when someone asks, “What time is it?” Back home, that was my type of normal. As were sarcastic jokes, skipping down hallways and dancing without a care of how crazy I looked.

I know I will become more comfortable in time, but for now I feel as if I am showing the simple side of Kristine to my dozens of generically nice buddies. I am looking for a little more than that. For now, I am trying to act as normal as possible. Maybe soon I will find that my type of normal fits in just fine here.

Let’s get one thing straight; I am absolutely obsessed with Disney movies. But as much as I love watching them, the princesses walking around those movies always manage to make me feel terrible about my love life. They create unrealistic expectations about love and relationships all while maintaining a search for ‘happily ever after’.

So how does one attain this happily ever after? According to a Disney princess, by finding love! And how does one find love? With a song and dance, of course!

Gone are the days where meaningful conversation and actual chemistry are needed for a relationship, Disney princesses show that chiseled features and a great singing voice are all a girl really needs. Beauty and the Beast seems to be one exception as the Beast definitely ain’t no looker but Belle likes him anyway. The only downside to this love affair is that the Beast is holding Belle captive in order to make her fall in love with him so he can turn handsome again.

Ariel, in The Little Mermaid, has yet to speak to her man before claiming her love for him. She defies her father, runs away from home, and makes a deal with an evil sorceress to give up her voice, all in hopes of meeting this guy. But lo and behold, Ariel and the prince do meet and by the end of the movie they have fallen in love and are ready to live happily ever after. Maybe it was all the stimulating conversation the two had together that attracted him to her. Or the great pair of legs she traded her voice for.

Another idea that Disney princesses seem to instill upon us is that one day Prince Charming will just show up and make our lives better. But in the meantime we should probably be sitting around waiting for him. Look at Cinderella, for instance. Instead of telling her step-sisters to ‘f*ck off’ and then leaving the household to find a real job and house to support herself, she lets herself be treated like a slave to her step-mother’s whims. She is only let off the hook from this life when Prince Charming shows up and whisks her away to his castle. She doesn’t know him that well, but he has a ton of money and power, so I guess that equals out to a happily every after.

Instead of the cookie-cutter Disney Prince Charming, I’d rather go out and find a man with flaws. To me, that perfect Disney prince sounds boring. Every relationship needs a little disagreement and meaningful conversation, not just physical attraction. I think a relationship can have a happily ever after, but only if you’re realistic about it.

No guy is ever going to act perfect all the time like Prince Charming, nor are you always going to look flawless like Cinderella, but with the right amount of time and commitment, you two can make your own happily ever after. And If a guy still loves me even when I wake up looking like the Beast, that’s my idea of a Prince Charming.

What do you guys think? Do any of our relationships really turn into happily ever afters, or has the idea just effed us up when it comes to dating?