Americans are well known for their affection for, and addiction to, theme parks.  We have Disney Land, Disney World, Lego Land, Sea World, and a plethora of other immensely entertaining places.  What we don’t have is a theme park about sex.  Guess who else doesn’t have one?  China.

While that may sound like a no-brainer, China was recently set to open a theme park called Love Land.  It was meant to promote open sexual discussion in a society where tradition and conservatism still reign with an iron fist.  The park was to feature huge reproductions of male and female genitalia, how-to workshops and other fun activities and displays.  However, all of that was razed today after a weekend inspection by government officials deemed the park vulgar and sensational.  Well, duh, but how awesome is that? Read More »

I’ve never been to Amsterdam, but even I know all about the Red Light district there. Drugs! Sex!

It is like Disney World, but for grownups…who like drugs and sex.

Pretty much heaven on earth. But apparently the Netherlands’ government doesn’t agree. Even though it brings in big tourism bucks, Netherlands officials want to put an end to prostitution. (Total buzzkill!) And their plan to end it is an interesting one….

“The city is offering prostitutes ‘credits’ for good behavior that can be used to buy designer clothes or furniture. The vouchers, which the Dutch media has mockingly dubbed “whore miles,” will be awarded for every step sex workers take to get out of the lifestyle.“

I wonder how that works: 50 points for not hanging out in windows? 400 points for throwing away the see-through plastic heels? 1,000 points for not accepting money for a blowjob? Read More »

We’ve all seen them, whether they’ve been meandering along a random street corner or flashing frightened doe looks in the subway…I’ve been one, you’ve been one, we’ve all been one. That’s right, I’m talking about tourists; those people who don’t belong here but are visiting anyway.

While they can be cute to watch for awhile, for the most part it is extremely annoying to be walking along a street while fifty people surrounding you are walking at a glacial pace in order to take pictures of the same thing. You try not to bother with these flowery shirt folks, but it’s pretty inevitable that you will eventually come across one sooner or later.

So no matter where you are, here are some ways to spot, and hopefully avoid, tourists.

An abundance of fanny packs: Fanny packs seem to be the universal fashion wear for any tourist and a prime target to look for when spotting said tourist. These extra hip appendages also come in handy for any muggers looking for fresh meat.

Anyone wearing a fanny pack might as well be wearing a shirt that says ‘I AM A TOURIST! ROB ME!’ Not only are you making yourself easy bait for pick pockets and other crazy people, but these zippered pouches just look plain stupid hanging from your side like that. The fact is, whether you’re a tourist or not, fanny packs are never, ever, considered sexy. Now take it off and put your wallet in your pocket where it’s supposed to be. Read More »

You know you’ve thought about being a princess. Don’t try to lie and say you haven’t. Even the most tom-boyish of my friends has dreamed of wearing a pretty dress, meeting a handsome prince, and never having to work a day of their life. And while I must say I prefer Megara from Hercules to Cinderella, the allure is still there.

This is where working at the Disney park becomes some people’s dream. Some girls, deluded as they may be, are completely validated by having some balding old man tell them that they look even the slightest like Sleeping Beauty. I am not one of those girls, but I am a “cast member” at Disney World (that’s the special term Disney made up so their employees would buy into their spread-the-magic BS).

Up until I left for school this year, I was a dancer in various stage shows at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and believe me, it is not always the happiest place on Earth. Dancing around in 105 degree heat, pumping my arms and lip-syncing about how we’re all in this together?!

Not my idea of a good time. Read More »