Dear Katie,

Remember when you used to smile? I mean, really smile. Not that Tom-Gets-Mad-If-I-Don’t-Grin smile. Remember when you dressed your age and actually spoke?

Where did those days go? Has Tom done something to your brain? He hasn’t lobotomized you, has he? I wouldn’t put it past that guy to have a complete lobotomizing room in his basement. Has he given you shock therapy? I know he wanted to buy his own ultrasound machine at one point, maybe he just had them throw the shocks in for free?

I was looking as some pictures of you recently, and I’ve noticed that all the joy has seeped away from your face. I’ve also noticed that you’ve started to dress like my mom—if my mom was super rich. This unsettles me because I’m pretty sure we’re the same age. Read More »

You may have thought a week without Lindsay was tough, but I can’t lie. I miss my boy.

I miss Zac.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I opened the New York Post this morning and lo and behold — there he was!

Well, not him…Vanessa what’s-her-face. But his name was there, fully bolded right there on the newsprint. What for, you ask?

It looks like Zac and his super-fake girlfriend have turned down one million dollars each to star in Disney’s upcoming High School Musical movie.

You may argue it’s because Zac and Vanessa are like, totally growing up, and will be pigeoned-holed by Disney forever if they don’t leave now!

You may argue that Vanessa has an album coming out soon and she can’t be bothered by any more HSM bullshit.

But you want to know what I think is going on here? It’s happening! Zac and Vanessa are on the outs, people! Read More »

Zac Efron has fans. And some of them may have rabies.

Given the obscene amount of comments (perhaps the most CC has ever received on one article? At least with the most spelling mistakes) connected to my first blog about this 17-year-old sugar coated star, I’m a little afraid to have another go.

But what the hell. I’m a troublemaker.

According to half a dozen angry rants, I don’t know Zac at all, he’s an amazing actor, his body just oozes hotness, and anyone who comes close to insulting him is wasting the world’s time—because he is loved by all.

So here’s what I did. I held my breath, typed his name into Google, and ventured out onto the Internet Superhighway to find out about all things Efron. Would recent pictures prove to me that he is indeed hotter than the sun? After reading a few interviews, would I be convinced of his supposed saintly goodness? And would I ever find out who Vanessa Hudgens was?

I’ll tell you one thing, wax figure or not, Z. Efron has got more websites devoted to him than Jenna Jameson (approximately. I didn’t actually do the math). He has certifiably grabbed the Tween market in two well manicured hands, and as long as he’s attached to Disney and stays away from the coke, seems destined to make little girls weep from joy for years.

But as a 24-year-old woman, I still don’t get it. I just don’t. And you know what, I don’t think I’m supposed to. Read More »