No matter how you slice it, visiting the gyno is awkward. Not only do you have to expose yourself in the most unflattering way to your doctor (and the nurse who is required to be in there), but you gotta do it while he or she makes small talk from between your legs.

“How’s your day?”
“How are classes going?”
“How many sexual partners have you had?”

[Cue the look of disappointment and the lecture on safe sex.]

I don’t know about you, but whenever I walk into my gyno’s office I always feel the need to prepare her for what she’s about to see. “Uh, just so you know, it’s winter so, uhhhh, yeah, I haven’t really done much, uhhhh, maintenance down there in, erm, a few months.” She promises me she’s not looking and that she’s seen it all before and then she comes at me with some metal tools, one of which looks eerily similar to that thing you use to clean the toilet. And then it’s done. You put on your pants, she bids you adieu and you’re on your way….with a little less pep in your step than on your way in.

But sometimes things get even weirder (how could they not when you’re spread eagle with your junk in someone’s face?), like my most recent appointment involving a doctor who left me to grab a phone call mid-exam. (Let’s just say it was windy down there.) It was traumatizing, but upon telling my friends the story (who all thought it was just HILARIOUS), I learned that everyone’s had a particularly uncomfortable trip to the gyno. And I wanted to hear them. So this week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their most awkward and traumatizing gyno experiences. Hard to believe, but reading these hurts me more than an actual appointment.

Rachael – University of Miami: The first time I went to the gyno, she asked if I was sexually active. I looked at my mom, who I’d said could stay in the room, and the two of us burst out laughing. Obviously, the answer was no.

Brittany – University of Saint Thomas: I suppose my most awkward experience isn’t too brutal. But when the lady held up her metal instrument and said, “OK, I’m goin in” my soul shrunk a size.

Nina – Michigan State University: It was my first time, and she’s like “Are you sexually active?” And for a second, in the process of freaking out, I forgot what that meant. So I said no. It was the shortest gyno visit ever…

Sarabeth – University of Texas: My worst/most awkward gyno experience was my first one. I went to my mom’s doctor, so she felt the need to tag along and go into the room with me, and then when it came time to ask for a prescription of birth control I got lectured about how an unmarried girl such as myself shouldn’t need birth control… FROM THE DOCTOR.

Lauren – University of Michigan: I had extreme stomach pains one day so I went to the health center. The doctor there told me she had to rule out pregnancy and STDs (for a stomachache!?), so she did a pelvic exam on me and gave me an STD test. As I opened the door (which led into the waiting area), she handed me the lab work and said, “OK Lauren, take this gonorrhea test upstairs to the lab and they’ll get back to you.” I looked over and my T.A. was sitting in the waiting room. He waved. I waved. Then I ran away as fast as I could.

Alex – University of South Carolina:  I went for the first time when I was sixteen and she asked me if I was sexually active.  When I said no, she looked up at me from the exam and said, “Honey, maybe you can fool your mother, but I don’t believe that for a second.”  Sad part was, I was telling the truth.

Jessica – Delaware: When I was getting a pelvic exam at Student Health, the gyno decided I would be a good guinea pig for a brand new intern to practice on.  An intern with a shaky hand who had not had much (read: any) experience with a speculum or a vagina before. Needless to say, I walked funny for a couple of days, and not for a good reason.

Leah – Ryerson University: My boyfriend at the time left some marks on my chest after a weekend away and I got very disapproving looks from my doctor when I went in.

Alex – Lakehead University: I find the fact that my doctor delivered me and also does my gyno exams awkward. He’s seen me naked more than I care to think about!

Emmy-Loyola University Chicago: Male gynos just shouldn’t be allowed. Enough said.

Norah – Drake University: Mid-exam, my gyno tells me she hopes her daughter grows up to be a lot like me. It was sweet, but not exactly the best timing…

Sara C – Fordham: I was once told by a gyno that my “vagina doesn’t look pregnant.” Great to know, because (a) vaginas can’t get pregnant, and (b) I could better evaluate the thoroughness of the exam, which is to say not very.

Charlsie – Hollins University: Last time I had a pap smear, the nurse practitioner at my school told me I had herpes. She grabbed a mirror to show me, while I was all up in the stirrups and on the table, and then failed to point out exactly what she was talking about. Her reply was “Well, it was there a minute ago. Now it’s not — but I know you have it.” This was before she tested me or asked me any questions about my sexual history and background. Of course, I was hysterical even though I was about 99.9% sure there was no possible way I would have it. Sure enough, when the test came back — I didn’t have it. However, she called me to tell me about the results and said “Unfortunately, you don’t have herpes.” What kind of doctor wants a patient to have an STD?

Flash forward to now, and I still want to take care of him. Everything from helping him with his laundry to more serious stuff like going to therapy. Matt and I have been through a lot of tough times, and I’m glad to say that we’re still together and still going strong. We have our weak moments just like everyone else, but one of the true signs of a real relationship is staying with each other through the bad times, not just the good. Anybody can go with you to the party, but a man who really loves you will hold your hair while you’re puking.

Relationships have to be built on trust and love, and if that’s not there, then someone in the relationship is bound to be unhappy. You should want to be each other’s strengths when the other seems to be running out. You should want to lean on the other person when you can’t go it alone. And there’s nothing better than knowing you’ve got all of that if you ever need it.

If I didn’t have Matt around I’d probably have been a mess when my parents moved across the country. But no matter how much I miss them, it’s hard to feel like my family left me when I have him around.

I just know that no matter what it is, I will be there for him and he’ll be there for me. If he has to take a pill every day for the rest of his life, I’ll be there with a glass of water. If it gets to the point where we want to start a family I know he’ll be in the delivery room with me while I’m screaming my head off (and probably yelling at him for doing that to me).  I love him and I’ll do just about anything to keep him healthy and happy. When you are in a relationship, it really shows your partner’s character when they stick with you during the really crappy times. It’s nice to not to have to go through the hard days alone.

Got a health question? Don’t trust those “Doctors” at the University Health Center? Are you scared of Web M.D. because it always tells you you’re gonna die? Ask a real doctor, our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin. She’s here every Thursday to answer whatever you throw at her – like how to know if your guy is clean – so ask away. Leave your question in the comments or send it over to us. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: Between finals, graduating and other personal stress, I can’t fall asleep at night. And then when I do, I can’t stay asleep. I’m always tired and grumpy and it’s only making everything even more stressful. Do you have any ideas for getting sleep? I heard sex might help, but I’m not sure if that’s true or if my boyfriend is just telling me that for his own selfish reasons. I really need to be alert and focused for exams and this is killing me. Help?

A: I hear you, sweetie. Insomnia can kill you (trust me, I’ve been there), especially when you’re in school, with tests, projects, and grades looming over you. The question is why can’t you sleep? Is it stress? Is it hormones, like your thyroid? Is it caffeine, alcohol, or other drugs/medications that are disrupting your sleep? Is it poor nutrition?  Is it the crazy sorority girl next door who keeps banging you up with her rocking orgasm? How to treat your insomnia depends on what’s causing it. Here are some causes:

Why Can’t I Sleep?

1. Emotional disturbances: Anxiety and depression tend to sap your energy and they may also contribute to insomnia, which leads to poor sleep.
2. Nutrition: If you’re filling up on junk, it’s no wonder you have trouble sleeping. Food is fuel, and if you’re filling your tank with caffeinated sugar water instead of whole foods and green things, you can’t expect to sleep well. If you treat your low energy with sugar and/or caffeine, you’re stimulating our sympathetic nervous system and revving up your pancreatic insulin production. Then when you crash, you only feel worse. Insomnia follows.
3. Thryoid imbalance: If your thyroid hormones are out of whack, you may have trouble sleeping.
4. Sex hormone imbalance: Fluctuations in sex hormones, such as estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, may lead to insomnia.
5. Change in your Circadian rhythms: Do you pull all-nighters and then sleep all day? If you’re messing with your body’s schedule, you’ll have trouble sleeping.
6. Poor sleep hygiene: Do you engage in restful activities before bed, or are you cramming until 3 minutes before lights out? We can’t expect our bodies and minds to just shut down without some help.
7. Caffeine/alcohol/medications: All of these can affect your sleep patterns.

10 Tips For Helping You Sleep

1. Try to get 8 hours of sleep at night on a regular schedule. Go to bed earlier and rearrange your schedule to allow your body the rest and rejuvenation it needs to recapture energy.
2. Establish bedtime rituals; herbal tea, a warm bath, cinnamon milk, reading a relaxing book, meditation – whatever works for you.
3. Avoid studying, having tough conversations, or other stressful situations just before bed.
4. Eat a balanced whole foods diet rich in produce, lean proteins, and whole grains.
5. Avoid caffeine, sugar, high carb foods, alcohol, and nicotine. If you’re taking medications, talk to your doctor about whether any of them might have insomnia as a side effect.
6. Buy a juicer and drink green juice. It works miracles for insomnia and improves energy and performance, I swear!
7. Exercise regularly, but not right before bed. It helps you fall and stay asleep.
8. Listen to guided imagery (I love Belleruth Naparstek’s CDs and listen to them almost every night.)
9. Sure, go ahead and try sex. Orgasm has been scientifically proven to help you sleep (won’t your boyfriend be jazzed?)
10. If all else fails, try a safe, over-the-counter sleeping aid like Benadryl (an anti-histamine that makes you drowsy). But be aware that regular use can lead to psychological (though not physical) addiction that may make it hard for you to sleep without it. Sometimes breaking the cycle makes all the difference.

Sleep well, love!

- Dr. Lissa Rankin’s book, What’s Up Down There? Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in Fall 2010. She invites you to join her Pink online community (www.owningpink.com/forum) or read more of her writing at Owning Pink (www.owningpink.com).

FML.

You roll out from underneath your covers to turn off your alarm clock. You’ve got a very busy day ahead of you: three classes, a group meeting and a date with your roommates to catch up on Glee from the past three weeks. Everything has been so busy lately you haven’t had time to eat a meal, let alone get your weekly dose of Finn. If you’re not sleeping, you’re in class, and if you’re not there you’re in the library, oftentimes well past midnight.

And it’s finally catching up to you.

As you try to rouse yourself out of bed, you feel it. Your head hurts, you can’t swallow and your whole body just feels achy. You walk to the bathroom to wash up, hoping it’s just one of those “I slept with my mouth open” deals; it will go away in a few minutes.

Only it doesn’t. In fact, bending over the sink to splash some water on your face makes you dizzy and angers the little men pounding hammers against the inside of your skull. It’s official: you’re sick.

“Oh god. Could it be Swine Flu??”

You crawl back to your room and sit down at your computer. You enter your symptoms into WebMD figure out your diagnosis/rule out any deadly diseases. You learn that you either have the flu… or meningitis. Either way, you need to take your temperature, which you cannot do since you don’t have a thermometer. Maybe you can just sleep it off?

Before getting back into bed, you send a quick email your professors/group members/roommates to let them know that you are sick. You do not mention the word “flu”; you don’t need anyone sending you to the Swine Flu quarantine, thankyouverymuch.

Your body is really hurting now so you shut your computer and climb back into bed. You’re thirsty, you’re achy and, dammit, you want your mom. So you call her. Yeah, she’s over 6 hours away, but at least she’ll tell you what to do… and feel bad for you.

And feel bad she does. She tells you to drink lots of fluids, get lots of rest and call her when you wake up. Even though you knew all of those things, just talking to her makes you feel a little better. You hang up, roll over and go back to sleep.

When you wake up a few hours later you’re feeling worse. You try to drink some water but you can’t swallow. And forget eating; even the thought of a piece of toast makes your stomach churn. You debate going to the health center; those “doctors” a joke and that requires getting dressed and walking across campus. But what other choice do you have? You call your mom.

After getting a sufficient amount of pity and love from mama (“Oh honey, you know I’d bring you soup if I was there.”), you decide to go to the doctor. You pull on your biggest sweats, put your hair up in a ponytail, throw on your glasses and head out. You look like crap and you know it, but you don’t care. As unflattering as those men’s sweatpants are, you still feel a hell of a lot worse than you look. As you walk past other students laughing on their way to class you silently curse the world, asking the guy upstairs why you have to be sick. And why is the health center so far away? And why does everything hurt so badly?

Eventually you make it, sign in and sit down in the room full of coughing students, closing your eyes in hopes it will make your headache go away. 45 minutes and two phone calls to mom later, the doctor calls you in. She spends 6 minutes examining you – which includes questions on your sexual history for some reason – then tells you it’s the flu, there’s nothing she can do and you just need lots of fluid and lots of rest. Then she places her gloved hand on the small of your back and pushes you out of her office so she can let the next sickling in.

You call your mom again on the way home to whine a little more. Then again when you’re back in bed. Then again when your roommate brings you chicken soup that isn’t nearly as good as hers. Then you turn off the phone, dive under your covers and fall asleep. At 7 p.m. Missing yet another week of Glee.

Yeah, we’ve all been there.
There is nothing quite like being sick to make you hate your life and miss your mommy.

And I’m not talking “only eat bacon” ridiculous.

Allow me to introduce you to Dr. Nikolas Chugay’s mesh patch. When sewn onto the tongue it becomes so painful to eat, that you just can’t. That’s right this doctor from California who has a PhD in medicine is going to make it so painful for you to eat that you won’t have any other option but to stick to a liquid diet.

Ten women have already done it and – surprise, surprise – some have lost up to 20 pounds. (Really, if you don’t eat any solid food, you’ll lose weight? Who knew!)

Now if this guy has actually found women desperate enough to inflict physical pain on themselves to lose their muffin top, I think the world of medicine is ready to radically expand. Can you imagine how much money can be made inventing other completely unreasonable ways for women to keep their stomachs empty?

I have a couple of ideas already.

The Wisdom Tooth Replacement

Anyone who has had their wisdom teeth removed knows that it was the best you’ve looked in years. Sure, your cheeks swell up like your a chipmunk going into hibernation, but it’s too painful to open your mouth wider than a centimeter so you drop six pounds as you lie on your couch in agony. Sadly, though, you heal and are soon able to open your mouth wide enough to fit that hamburger. Why not just do a monthly removal/replacement procedure? That’ll keep you (painfully) thin.

The Flu Sauna

Having the flu is a socially acceptable excuse to be bulimic for a week. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you continue to infect yourself, you will continue to barf up any and all food that enters your stomach. So after your elliptical session, stop by the flu sauna, fully equipped with a virus-infected individual who will cough, snot and sneeze your way. You’ll be infected and unable to keep food down by tomorrow!

The Judgment Hand

That little voice inside our head (you know her, “don’t you dare eat that cookie, it’ll go straight to your big ass!”), isn’t that convincing. Sure she makes you feel guilty, but it rarely stops you from resisting the chips at a party or the pizza at the sorority meeting. Luckily for you, we can now give that little voice a powerful weapon. Doctors simply install a robotic arm on the side of your body, linking it to your brain waves. As even the thought of eating crosses your mind, the hand will whack you upside the head, knocking any craving out the door.

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I have had lower abdominal pain, sexual intercourse burns or hurts at times, it burns like hell when I urinate after sex and at night I get shooting pains across my lower abdomen and almost feels like I’m passing a kidney stone. (I have a huge history of these).  There is no discharge and no blood in my urine, but it is painful to urinate at times (like a knife is going through me) and I urinate frequently and feel the need to right after I void. Could this be an STD or a kidney/bladder infection?  I’m getting worried and I don’t know what to do.

A: Oh, honey. Ouch! That sounds miserable. Unfortunately, your situation is one that I really can’t help with over the internet. It’s too complex. I’d need to know how long this has been happening (since you first lost your virginity or just this week?). I’d need to know whether you have a fever. Your condition could be one of many things.

In answer to your question, yes, it could be an STD, such as gonorrhea or Chlamydia, which can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). PID usually causes severe abdominal pain, fever, and often, increases vaginal discharge. But the urinary symptoms don’t fit with that.

The frequent urination, urgency, and painful urination all fit with a bladder infection. But it could also be a kidney stone, which causes severe colicky pain, usually on just one side, along with blood in the urine.

As for the pain with sex, that could be related to whatever else is going on, or it could be something else altogether.

You need to see a doctor right away, girlfriend. Get thee to a gynecologist, and peace be with you.

"Hm. Maybe this job is better suited for a lady?"

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like the first-semester boyfriend!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Ok, let’s be honest, no one likes going to the doctor. Throw in a paper gown, putting your legs in stirrups and a “spreader” and it’s no surprise that a lot of us avoid going to the gynecologist like a plague of genital warts. But the truth is that there’s no way to really be in charge of your sexual life unless you bother to stay sexually healthy, and the lady-parts doctor is a necessary part of that.

While we try to give you hand with some of those problems here at College Candy, one of the biggest obstacles between “tear-my-hair-out terrifying” and “not my favorite thing, but bearable” is finding a down-there doctor you like, trust and feel comfortable around – and not surprisingly, a big factor for a lot of ladies is their doc’s gender.

It’s natural that a lot of girls are more comfy having another woman looking at their most private areas than they are having to spread their legs in front of a man. And aside from just the physical exam, there’s also the fact that you need to be comfortable talking about all of your most intimate problems and habits with your gyno, and there are some things that are just easier to say to someone who doesn’t remind you of your dad. Also, no matter how many years of school a man goes through, there’s nothing that can really teach someone what it’s like to  have a hoo-ha except having one; a female doctor definitely has a better chance of having experienced your issues herself, and potentially giving you some first hand insight.

There might be some problems with going to a female gyno, though. To start with, female gynecologists make up only one third of the current American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists membership (though the number is on the rise). Depending on where you live, getting a female doc might mean traveling quite a distance for your appointments, which will only make you less likely to go. Also, the number of female down-there doctors has been steadily rising over the last twenty years, but many of the docs who have been practicing longest (and thus are the most experienced) are men.

And there’s nothing wrong with going to a male doctor. One of the biggest things that women mention when they worry about male gynos is the fact that there is at least an assumed attraction to women, and thus the lady-parts they’re looking at.  But regardless of sexual proclivities, just like any other doc, male gynos are trained to look at our junk as just parts, not as sexy things. And the truth is, no one is going to go through all of the time and expense of becoming a legit gyno just so he can scope out some girl-parts; there are easier ways. (Editor’s Note: like buying me shots at the bar…)

At the end of the day, the only wrong choice you can make about a gynecologist is not to go to one at all. So don’t let the fear of being a little uncomfortable put you – and everyone you sleep with - at risk. To find a gynecologist in your area (male or female) check out the ACOG physician directoryonline or talk to your lady pals and see who they would recommend. It’s really not as bad as you think.

What do you say girls: would you prefer to go to a gyno who has all the same parts as you, or would you rather go to a guy? Do you think that your doc’s gender matters at all? Let us know down below! (Tee hee – down below.)

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: This is a really gross question, but I have to ask someone.

I discharge…a lot. And it’s not just around the time of my period. It’s random and plentiful. Ew. Anyways, I don’t know what to do about it or if it’s caused by something serious? Help. I’m afraid to be with a boy because he’ll be super grossed out.

A: This isn’t gross, sweetie. It’s your body, and discharge is a normal part of being a woman. But I wish I had more information. Is your discharge white, clear, or greenish? Does it have an odor- like fish or fresh bread- or is it odorless? Do you have any vaginal itching or burning? Is it there all the time, or just in the second half of your cycle? Have you been checked for sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) like gonorrhea and chlamydia?

Without knowing those answers, it’s hard for me to comment on your specific situation. If you haven’t seen a doctor about this issue, it’s time. Go in, let your gyno take a gander, and make sure you’re not missing something. Sometimes, an increase in vaginal discharge is the only sign we have that something’s going on down there.

But I’m going to assume that you’ve seen a doctor and that you don’t have a vaginal infection, STD, or abnormal pap smear.  If we’ve ruled those out, we’re left with the fact that every woman makes some vaginal discharge, and every woman is different. The amount of discharge your body makes depends on your own glands, your hormones, your anatomy, medications you might be taking such as birth control pills, and where you are in your cycle.

It’s common for your body to make more discharge at certain times of the cycle, as the menstrual cycle is under hormonal control, and those hormones can affect production of secretions. It’s also normal to make more discharge when you’re turned on – thus the wetness you feel when you’re sexually excited.  If you’re taking birth control pills, you may notice more discharge from the estrogen in the pill. Also, if your cervix happens to have the glands on the outside of the cervix instead of the inside (a normal variant we call ectropion), you may make more discharge.

If your doctor has told you you’re normal, there’s no need to worry. Trust me, guys will be so honored to be down there that they won’t be turned off by your discharge. In fact, some guys find a wet vagina to be even more stimulating. Some women have very dry vaginas and would die to have your problem.  It’s all part of accepting our bodies just as they are and  loving ourselves, secretions and all.

That’s still what I think about traditional medicine: It can be severely invasive. Are objects and chemicals meant to be stuck into our bodies? To me, it just seems a bit unnatural, not to mention painful.

Since establishing my own set of ideas about life, society and health, I’ve become immensely involved with holistic healing. I know, I sound like a total kook; but this stuff is not only interesting, it’s also effective. I swear.

Our whole lives we have been poked and prodded, whether it be due to an injury or simply because we are female. Every sickness we’ve had has been treated alone as if the body is incapable of attacking the problem itself. Truth be told, our bodies definitely need some assistance with the big bad ones, like cancer, heart disease, etc. But not in the way we’ve learned. Evidence is mounting that diet and lifestyle are the best cures for our worst afflictions.

The latest scientific studies, according to www.altmed.com, show that “simple choices that we make in our lifestyle — what we eat, how we respond to stress, whether or not we smoke cigarettes, how much exercise we get, and the quality of our relationships and social support — can be as powerful as drugs and surgery.” I think this makes so much sense. Just think how amazing you feel post-workout, when laughing with friends, or when hugging your mom … All of that is healing.

“When you eat a healthier diet, quit smoking, exercise, meditate, and have more love in your life, then your brain receives more blood and oxygen, so you can think more clearly, have more energy, and need less sleep. Your face gets more blood flow, so your skin glows more and wrinkles less. Your heart gets more blood flow, so you have more stamina and even begin to reverse heart disease,” says Deeprak Chopra, the author of more than 50 books on mind, body and spirit.

So how can you get more holistic? Yoga, acupuncture, and ayurveda.

Yoga: Promotes Stress-relief and Weight-loss.
The most familiar form of non-traditional physical exercise has incredible benefits. Aside from increasing flexibility, lubrication in joints, and blood supply to various parts of the body, yoga harmonizes the mind and body, as well as creates calmness and emotional balance. I think most people brush it off as a non-workout because there’s very little sweating involved. But try to see it as a whole body therapy, a way of transforming yourself from the inside out. This practice allows you to develop a different relationship with your body, one that makes you appreciate it more for all this it does. When this happens you’re much less likely to shovel cheeseburgers and pastries into your mouth.

Acupunture: Relieves Anxiety, Insomnia, Menstrual Cramps, Back Pain
This form of Chinese medicine consists of inserting and manipulating fine filiform needles into specific points in the body. This technique is used to re-balance the energy pathways located throughout the body. It may sound a little crazy, but studies show that regular treatment relieves back pain better than the more traditional methods.

Ayurveda: Promotes Digestive Health
Ayurveda is defined as a system of healing based on homeopathy and naturapthy, with an extensive use of herbs. Yeah, sounds a bit out there, right? According to it’s philosophy, “universal life force manifests as three different energies, or doshas, known as vata, pitta, and kapha,” says Yoga Journal. What that means is that everyone has their own nutritional needs and this holistic method allows you to fine tune exactly what you should be eating for your body. To learn more about this go to YogaJounrnal.com; they have some really informative articles.

So who knows? Maybe giving alternative medicine a try will open your world and improve chronic problems you’ve been experiencing for years. Or maybe not. But why not give it shot? Pun intended.

Talking sex with your doctor isn’t always easy. Whether you are afraid she will judge you,  you just don’t feel comfortable sharing the intimate details of your life between the sheets, or you can’t think straight with a speculum between your legs, many people get tight lipped in the doctor’s office. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have questions.

We thought we’d help and every Thursday our friend Dr. Lissa Rankin will be answering your questions. The ones you couldn’t ask your doctor in person. Just leave your questions in the comments, or send em over to us. (We’ll keep it all anonymous for you.) Dr. Lissa will answer anything – really, anything – about sex and other lady things. Don’t be shy; she’s waiting for ya!

Q: I am still a virgin. It’s not because I’m religious or anything – I just haven’t met the right person. The only thing is that I’m finally ready to sleep with this guy, but I don’t know if I should tell him or not? Guys seem to get pretty freaked out about that kind of stuff. Is it possible to just do it and not tell him?

A: I hear ya, sister! It’s a lot of responsibility to be someone’s first.  But it’s also a big decision on your part. I remember when I was young and a girlfriend told me, “You’ll never forget your first. And a part of you will always love him and feel connected to him.”  She called it “getting stuck,” because the bonding experience of losing your virginity acts like glue.  In my case, she was absolutely right.  Part of me still loves the guy who took my cherry. So think twice about how you make this decision.

As for whether the guy gets freaked out, I say tell him and let him accept that responsibility. If he’s too freaked out to be your first, don’t give it away to him. You want someone who knows it’s your first time, can handle the responsibility that comes with that, and cares enough to make sure you feel nurtured, loved, and accepted when you lose your virginity.

Is it possible to just do it and not tell him? Yeah. But your body may give you away. If your hymen is still intact, you may bleed, which might clue him in. Also, the first time can be very painful. Your reaction may tell him. But why hide it? If you trust him enough to make the very mature decision to have sex with him, I hope you trust him with the truth.

Not to get on my soapbox, but don’t forget about birth control and disease prevention. Make sure you use a condom, and you might want to talk to your gynecologist about more effective birth control, like The Pill, Depo-Provera, the patch, or the vaginal ring. While condoms will help protect you from pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, they’re not perfect at either. So keep that in mind when you choose a partner. Do you know where that penis has been? Don’t be embarrassed to ask. It’s your right to know.  And if you haven’t gotten the HPV vaccine yet, consider getting it before you have sex the first time. It could protect you from a lifetime of genital warts, abnormal pap smears, and cervical cancer.

Blessings to you as you venture forth on this path, sweetie. Listen to your intuition and embark on this journey with faith in yourself and trust in your partner.