Most experts will tell you to wash your hands or get the vaccine to protect yourself from H1N1. Leave it to Cosmo to offer up some sexier alternatives.

Somehow, I think a dude was behind this one: “Babe, I think we should try doggy style tonight. You know, to stay safe.”

My Roots of Feminism class recently read The Myth of Vaginal Orgasm by Anne Koedt, an essay from 1970 that talks about the idealization of vaginal orgasms when the main source of sexual pleasure for women has been proven to be the clitoris. (She goes much more into depth in her essay about how the “myth of vaginal orgasm” came about, if you want to read it.)

In 2009, we seem to have finally recognized the clitoris as the important sexual organ it is. Any Cosmo article will tell you that many women don’t have vaginal orgasms and clitoral stimulation is an important part of sex.  But despite recognizing the important of the clitoris, our basic, standard sex position remains missionary, one of the worst positions for clitoral stimulation!

Perhaps this is why 75% of women have never had an orgasm from sex; they’re going about it all wrong!

Well, people, it’s time to move past missionary and into the land of pleasure. Out with the boring and in with the orgasmic! Below are some new positions to try out that are sure to bring both you and your partner some serious pleasure.

You can thank me later.

69
Oral sex is by far the best source of clitoral stimulation for women, and with 69, both partners (of any gender) are enjoying themselves.

CAT
A modified version of missionary position, the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) is a position specifically designed to give women clitoral stimulation during sex. From Wikipedia: “The penetrating partner lies above the receiving partner as in the missionary position, but moves upward along the woman’s body, so that the base of the male’s penis provides stimulation to her clitoris. The receiving partner may also wrap her legs around his. Sexual movement is focused in the pelvises, without leverage from the arms or legs. The rocking upward stroke (receiving partner leads) and downward stroke (penetrating partner leads) of sexual movement builds arousal that partners let develop and peak naturally.” Yeah it all sounds sorta technical, but in the end you’ll be happy you put the effort in.

Girl on Top
When you climb aboard you can control the depth and speed of penetration, thus doing what makes you feel best. Plus, his hands are free to offer extra stimulation. Win-win!

Doggy Style With Paws
Doggy style is a great angle for G-spot stimulation. To make it even better for you, ask your man to use his hand (or just grab it and show him) to stimulate your clitoris at the same time.

You, Me, and the Machine
Find a small, easy to grib vibrator and take it to bed with you. I promise you, your partner will enjoy it just as much as you. You won’t be sorry!

What’s your favorite position?

[The following post is courtesy of our homegirls over at YourTango. Well, their male perspective. They’ve been through it all and know just about everything about love, so we thought we’d bring their expertise to you. Enjoy!]  

In our piece, The Myth Of The Male Orgasm, we wrote about men who have trouble coming—it’s not as uncommon as you think. In fact, an AskMen survey found that 23% of guys have faked it at some point.

Women impersonate the O for various reasons; a common excuse is not wanting to hurt his feelings. AskMen says that guys do it for the same reason. “The prevailing opinion is that men should be able to climax whenever, wherever and under any circumstance,” which simply isn’t true. Your dude might have trouble peaking if he’s tired, stressed or drunk, or if he’s already climaxed that day. And if that’s the situation, he might fake it.

Of course, it’d be better to postpone sex or talk to your partner about why you’re not hitting the high note, but real life doesn’t always work the way it should. People will continue to fake orgasms, and for men who have never done it before, AskMen provides a handy guide. Ladies, here are some signs he might be faking it.

1. His moans sound like those kooky cat noises you hear late at night. AskMen tells guys to avoid doing anything too emphatic: “overacting will kill this performance.” Look for unusually intense cries, thrashing or weird facial expressions.

2. You usually come in missionary position but this time he moves behind you before climax. One of the joys (or predicaments) of face-to-face sex is seeing the other person’s expressions when they come, and that contortion is pretty hard to fudge. AskMen warns, “a girl who has been with you before will recognize if your orgasm face is not consistent. So, when faking an orgasm, it is best to do it doggy style or in any other position in which you are not facing one another.”

Read the rest at Your Tango!

[Photo courtesy of pospressure on Flickr]

But I have no idea what makes a woman bad in bed. Can a woman be bad in bed? Could I be bad in bed? I started to develop a complex after a male friend of mine told me he had faked orgasms…on multiple occassions! Guys fake orgasms? Could a guy have been faking with me?

OMG! WHAT IF I AM BAD?!

I turned to my male advisor for the answers. (Note: I did try and convince him that it was “my friend” who was worried, but we all know it was neurotic, self-conscious me.)

Just last week, a coworker exclaimed, “Kathryn, you have no game. Your entire approach is off!” Yes, this is true. But somehow, I still get some action, which is why she followed her (rather harsh) declaration with the question, “How do you do it?”

Still, no matter how many times I’ve immediately wished I could retract the bizarre statement that just came out of my mouth, I’ve also been with, or had friends who have been with, equally hopeless guys.

Reviewing my own traumatic events, as well as some of my friends’ bizarre sexual encounters, I’ve compiled a list of some of the worst things to say during sex. Because I’m a woman, they are written from a female perspective, but each of these can be just as cringe-worthy coming from a guy.

1. “Ohhhh, Michael… I mean… Dan?”

Make sure you know the name of the person you’re inviting past the pearly gates. Calling someone by another name will at once crush your partner’s ego and make you look sleazy. Once, I was hooking up with a guy and he proceeded to pour out his feelings for another girl… and try to get my advice on how to go about courting her. That really sucked, and he was pissed when I cut our session short.

2. “Why does your penis curve like that?”

There’s a variety of awkward comments that can damage a guy’s self esteem. Talking about size, shape, or “unique” sexual patterns can make him feel on edge. It goes for women, too. If you’re on top, do you want him to comment on the way your breasts jiggle in his face? No. During sex, both parties should feel sexy. Even if you like way his penis curves because it hits your G-spot just right, you shouldn’t ask why his genetic attributes are different than anyone else’s that you’ve ever been with. Asking “why” can easily be taken the wrong way. Instead, try a more positive approach, and encourage his tactics. Being vocal is a great way for both of you to get the most pleasure from your sexual experience, but try to use a more optimistic choice of words.

3. “So, how do you think you did on the Econ exam?”

Safe, casual sex is common among many college students. I know plenty of people who have had friends with benefits, no strings attached. You don’t have to fake it and scream expletives or pledge your love to someone if you’re not really that ecstatic. But you still don’t want sex to get so casual that you’re typing a take-home exam on your laptop while he’s doing you doggy style.

4. “I totally thought my cheating ex gave me something, but I got it checked out.”

The STD-talk is smart. But you should have that conversation before the condom even comes out. Saying, “I’ve been tested, but we should still use protection” is hot. Waiting until he’s thrusting away to bring up a past scare or an ounce of current doubt is not. Besides, leave any emotional baggage your ex left you with at the door. Your partner doesn’t want to know you’re thinking about someone else (especially an ex), and he definitely doesn’t want to waste the rest of your tryst with visions of penicillin dancing in his head.

5. “Did we use a condom?”

Guys taking advantage of drunk girls is very serious. On the other hand, if you got a little too drunk to use your best judgment, he might not have known. If you threw yourself at him and then admit it was just the liquor talking– ouch. Furthermore, if you can’t remember to insist on using protection, you shouldn’t be having sex. Period. Asking if he was responsible enough to watch out for you suggests that you might have been with other guys who weren’t so nice, and, like #4, make him worry about where you’ve been. There were a couple of times that I got a little out of control with my boyfriend, and the night was–to put it nicely–a blur. Of course, I didn’t want to let on that I didn’t remember the best sex he thought he’d ever given me, so I bit my tongue on that one.

Even if you are guilty of uttering one or more of the above, it’s not the end of the world. You can still learn from your mistakes and polish your game. Besides, I’d much rather make a verbal faux-pas than a physical one. Like if the answer to #5 is “No, we didn’t use a condom, were we supposed to?”

Anybody else have any Tourettes encounters in the sack?

The mustard belt will remain on U.S. soil for another year.

Amy Winehouse seems to be mastering the art of multi-tasking

Ashley Dupre attemps to “drop negativity from her life.” Quite a large task, no?

Doin’ it doggy style? You could be breaking the law.

Fad Diets: First the Cookie Diet, now a McDonalds Diet?!

Venus Williams: the favorite child

Like, say that new position you read about in Cosmo that requires you to stand on your head while he balances on one foot?

I’m here to tell you, these positions, while alluring in theory are not only an excessive amount of work (that isn’t always worth that coveted “O”), they can even be hazardous to your health…anyone ever heard of a sex injury (or as my friends and I call it, a sexjury)?

Picking up a copy of the Kama Sutra and realizing how many different options there are to twist your bodies in strange positions in order to better reach those special spots can be intimidating but also enticing. Who knew it was possible to do that? Who knew I could get off from that? Believe me, not all of us can. Not everyone has the same level of flexibility and yes, I speak from experience when I say that sometimes trying to put my leg behind my head in a new and unusual position is painful, enter a horse named Charlie.

Nothing can put a great sex session on hold as quickly as a severe leg cramp. “Oh God baby, yes” quickly turns to “Oh God that hurts!” as you ferociously throw your lover off you and jump up and down in hopes of making the pain subside as quickly as possible. And let me go out on a limb to say that searing pain can make getting back into things a lot less tempting.

Sexjuries can be a lot more severe than that, as well. Case in point; I have one male friend who has suffered from two major sexjuries; a thrown out back and a sprained penis. Yes folks, I said it, a sprained penis (insert collective “ohhhh!” and grimace here). Due to overzealousness and excitement in trying to spice things up, he and his girl managed to do a position that completely threw out his back and caused him to have to see a chiropractor for months on end, and to wear a back brace. He still suffers from minor pain when he does strenuous activity. Tell me now, is that worth it? Let’s think about that for a minute.

After the sprained penis incident, he told me that he couldn’t get an erection for a week and even after it started working again, he was so terrified of the pain, he waited another week. In my humble opinion, one amazing sack session isn’t worth losing out on two weeks of nookie.

All in all though, leg cramps, back injuries and various sprains aside, let’s be realistic and ask, in general, are these crazy forays into sexual positions worth the physical struggle, work and exhaustion it takes just to get yourself into them? Is that toe-curling “O” really that important? Yes, phenomenal orgasms are obviously the goal, but I’ve found that I can obtain them without having to bend my body in ways I never thought possible. And that’s just fine with me.

[Photo courtesy of ThorinaRose.com]

Everyone has their own way they like it.

Their own fantasy, their own mood-lighting, their preferred music…when it comes to the sexual encounter, there are infinite ways we women get our libido up and running. But apparently, according to this iVillage poll, there’s one position that ranks above the rest.

And it’s surprising.

Over 200 women have taken the “What’s Your Favorite Sexual Position” poll in the last couple of days, having the option to pick either A) Missionary / Man on top, B) Woman on top, C) Doggy Style or D) Other.

You wanna know what choice is winning as of this posting?

Doggy Style.

Now, maybe this doesn’t surprise you, but I’m certainly taken back. I had no idea that so many women genuinely enjoyed this position. Without going TMI on you, I have to say I’m not D-Style’s biggest fan, and certainly wouldn’t pass up choice B for it.

It’s always seemed like guys get the most pleasure from this posish, especially since it lets them feel all powerful and caveman like. I’m sure there’s ways for women to find it sexually pleasurable…I’m just not one of them.

So tell me, girls…does everyone know (and feel) something I don’t? Is D-Style really the way to go? Or have men (weirdly) infiltrated the poll in an attempt to get women everywhere to fulfill their personal sexual needs?