Celebrity Alcohol: Makes Me Sick Twice as Quick

Only douchebags drink Ed Hardy Vodka

Here’s an analogy for you, try to channel those SAT study sheets. (Ew I know, worst memory ever.)

Intellectual is to Bookstore as College Student is to __________.

Yes, the answer is liquor store. On my weekly (OK, daily) visits I peruse the shelves searching for a hidden gem. A creamy liquor stuck in the back, a girly vodka that will be the life of Friday’s pre-gaming party session. I constantly find myself lost in the aisles emerging an hour later with nothing to show for it but a bottle of Smirnoff, because, let’s be real, a girl can dream but I’m on a college budget here.

But just like memoirs by celebs who have done absolutely nothing worth writing about (Paris Hilton anyone?) crowding Borders’ shelves, I find myself annoyed by the obnoxiously overpriced bottles of celebrity alcohols that have made their way into my serves-the-under-21-crowd corner store. As if infiltrating every other aspect of my life wasn’t enough.

Can’t a girl relax in a liquor store without having to fight her way through tacky advertising gimmicks and heart stopping price tags?

Apparently not. I think a couple of them are so obnoxious and unnecessary that they are worth a mention. And a cease and desist. And the winners are…

Dan Aykryod: Crystal Head Vodka

Oh goody, vodka in a crystal skeleton head!? I will definitely pay $50 for that. Not! I think I can get the same affect by stopping by the Halloween store pick up a couple plastic skeletons and dumping my $10 Svedka in it, thankyouverymuch. Read More »