So you’re going to college. You got your GPA up and your admissions essay down, you got in, and now you’re out! Happy times are here. Your final days are characterized by blasting Lil’ Wayne with the sunroof open and going to lunch with the people with whom you’ve spent the last four, eight, or even 12 years of your life in school. You’re pretty sad it’s over, but you know that your life isn’t about to end; in reality, it’s only the beginning.

But before you unpack those Yaffa blocks and stock up on the highlighters, allow me to dispel a few of the myths your older, wiser and drunker friends have told you about your freshman year. Is freshman year awesome? Hell to the yes. But there are some things you just gotta prepare for.

“You’re going to become best friends with your floor.”
Maybe. Or maybe not. Yes, while the people on your floor are going to be the first people you meet and become friendly with, don’t feel pressured to become best friends with them. The only thing you may have in common with these people is that you live on the same floor in the same dorm at the same school. They’re great for trips to the dining hall, party wandering in the first week of school, and swapping hangover stories on Sunday mornings, but don’t feel bad if that’s it. You might find yourself laughing a month or two into school saying, “OMG, I can’t believe I used to go to breakfast with her” if your neighbor becomes “that girl” at parties on campus. Your real friends in college will be eclectic, and while many people find them on their floor, many do not. Friendships are rooted in a sharing of values, not a sharing of a hall. You’re lucky if you find both in the same place.

“Your classes aren’t that hard.”
Kind of a lie. Senior year you don’t do any work at all, and it’s really hard to turn your brain back on and retrain yourself to read and understand 60+ pages of reading a night. This lie depends on the school you go to and the classes you take, but the way I experienced it and the way most of my friends experienced it is that your classes are kind of hard. Especially when you’re trying to decide on a Tuesday night between $1 pitchers of beer and making notecards. You need to do a lot of the learning on your own and if you’re not careful, it’s very easy to fall behind. You might have floated through high school, but college is an entirely different ball game. You’re going to have to retrain your study muscles for those college classes! Read More »

"I'm smiling but if she doesn't take out the garbage soon I'm going to punch her in the face."

Did you ever wake up, peer out groggily from under the sheets at your roommate who is still passed out in her bed across the room, and wonder why the eff you two are living together? Sure, it seemed like a good idea last year when you perused flea markets for cheap futons together. It even seemed to still make sense just a month ago when you were first getting used to each others’ loveable quirks. But then one day, it just hits you, like a shot of tequila.

Who is this girl that you thought you knew?
Why does she do that weird sh*t all the time?
Most importantly, how are you going to survive the year without completely snapping and throwing a beer can at her head?

I really hope none of you are going through this, but if you are, I can relate. As I type this, I am being serenaded by Lauren, my cute-as-a-teacup friend and roommate. I’m not sure what song it is, but I’m fairly certain it’s from the musical, Rent (I loathe musicals). She has a lovely voice, and who doesn’t enjoy the occasional serenade, right? Well, it happens to me probably three to five times a day on average, and it’s ALWAYS when I’m trying to actually accomplish something school-related. I don’t know why she can’t sing at me when I’m procrastinating, painting my nails, watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia online, or just sitting around, which, realistically, is 75% of the time. Why is it always when I’m busy? Read More »