It’s mid-August. You know what that means…almost back-to-school time. When the fall starts to roll around, it causes me to reminisce of my early college years. The one particular experience that is forever implanted in my mind is my freshman year roommate.

Note: I swear that everything in this post is true. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Just four years ago, I was preparing to attend college in the big, scary state of New York after growing up in a small mid-western town.

Of course, no one that I even remotely knew or went to high school with was going to my school, and that was part of the excitement. I was going to be assigned a random roommate and had visions of us staying up all night sharing secrets, watching movies, and dishing about our latest biology class crush.

Well, little did I know, but I was moving in with the WEIRDEST person on campus. And, to make matters worse, this was before the days of Facebook, where I could have stalked her and been mentally prepared for what was to come. But, no, I had a friendly, casual phone conversation with what seemed like a sweet girl. Little did I know what was to come in the next year.

Example A: Chinese Fighting Swords. One day, I came home from class to find her unwrapping three large boxes containing something she had ordered off the internet. What were they you ask? Real, sharp, metal, will-kill-you-in-one-swipe, fighting swords. Three of them. She proceeded to then rub them against her skin and tell me how sexy the swords were. Yes, I feared for my life. Read More »

Last summer, I found myself packing up my life (have you ever noticed that your life seems extremely pathetic when you get around to actually packing it up in luggage?) and heading off, seven hours away, to a world of cheap beer, dirty laundry, and glorious, glorious freedom. It was my freshman year of college.Sure, I had older friends, and they were all dying to give me advice.

Don’t procrastinate, never forget your shower shoes, beware the freshman fifteen, look to your right- look to your left- both those guys probably have chlamydia. You know, stuff like that.

Anyway… it’s about time to pack up life (beware moldy sandwiches) and head back to school, but for you young readers this is a big deal, and there’s no doubt you’ve got questions. So, I’m hooking you up with some vital answers. Read More »

I have these neighbors. On both sides. Who are horrible.

My roommate and I call our apartment the Bermuda Triangle of Loud. We call it that because both sets of neighbors are completely and totally oblivious to the fact that they’re living in a place where the walls are as thin as cardboard.

On one side we’ve got the couple who scream obscenities at each other at midnight, throw things, and watch horror movies into the wee hours of the morning, forcing my roommate to close her eyes to the sound of people getting their heads ripped off. On the other side we’ve got a posse of flipped-collared college boys who can’t be any older than 22, throwing ginormous parties every day of the week (and who pee off their balcony when drunk).

Now, I’m a big believer in letting people live their life how they see fit, but when it starts to interrupt my daily activities (and my roommate’s dreams), I get pissed. How does one not understand the basic rules of living in an apartment? How is one so rude that they just don’t care? And most importantly, how should I go about telling them off?

If you’ve got noisy neighbors (and those of you moving into college for the first time next year most likely will), there’s a few ways to go about it.

At first, give it some time. Not everyone is used to close quarters living, and some people may not even know they’re being as obnoxious as they are. Let them settle in, get the hang of the place, before deciding you live next to idiots. Read More »