Throughout my sophomore year at college I’d pretty steadily hooked up with this guy, let’s call him Blake. Despite the fact that we were on good terms and friends outside of the bedroom, our hook ups only occurred when I was drunk. I’d never really wanted things to go any further with him; he was a sweet kid, but really only as a drunk hook up and fun guy to goof off with.
Things ended when he moved out to L.A. after graduation, but we kept in touch online and through Facebook ever since.
So when I clicked on my Facebook event notification and saw that he’d be back in town in a couple months, my first instinct was to accept the invite to the party in his honor.
That is, until I saw the Facebook wall.
One of his buddies, whom I’ve never met in my life, wrote on the wall: “Hey Blake, you should call that Melanie chick. That alcoholic nympho will probably get so excited she’ll bust a clasp on her straight jacket.”
Wow. What?!
Directly following Doucheface’s comment, Blake responded with a nice “hahahaha.”
Shocked, embarrassed and angry, I confronted Blake about the whole thing. He fed me some baloney about his friend “taking stories and blowing them out of proportion” and brushed me off like it was no big deal. I was not amused. I mean, this was not some private issue; my name was being slandered in a very public place. Read More »
Ladies of the world: stop your farting. Also, stop burping, spitting, sweating, and digesting food. Details writer John Sellers has spoken, and it’s bad news: we are not getting him off.
I know! I know! Everything that I do is intended to give John Sellers – and, by extension, all men – raging boners. I think of him all day long, from selecting my outfit in the morning until the moment that I slip between the covers to dream of his sweet, manly embrace. I imagine that it’s much the same for you. He is Details writer John Sellers, for God’s sake. The female half of the world hangs on his every byline.
Yet, in his recent piece, “The Hollywood Gross-Out Girls,” it’s clear that we have failed him greatly. It’s ostensibly about women who make fart jokes (or burp jokes, or poop jokes, etc.) and how horrible they are. (I know, right? Having a functional set of organs is totally grody. It’s even worse when women aren’t ashamed of their own bodies! Yuck.) Yet its underlying theme is far simpler: J.S. wants women – all women – to know that their purpose in life is to turn him on.
“It would be one thing if these female Shreks were cut from the same cloth as Roseanne Barr or Rosie O’Donnell,” he writes. “But the trouble is they’re all smoking hot. It’s their job to primp and preen and push stuff up to look sexy.” Read More »
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of stumbling across the stereotypical d-bag AKA Guido AKA meathead AKA frat boy, you probably also had the pleasure of wondering if perhaps showering in bleach will burn the creep-residue off your skin.
Identified by his spiked hair, popped collar, big muscles, and a tan that looks like he just spent the last two months in the Caribbean, he is a guy that people really love to hate.
In fact, people love to hate this guy so much a video tribute was made to celebrate the very essences that makes this character so unique. Check out the video, and for bonus enjoyment check out the spin-off editions, odds are you probably have seen those guys, too.
I’m not one of those people who gets super excited when celebrities make asses of themselves. Truthfully, I could care less if LiLo takes a sip of champagne or Britney goes out clubbing with her Dad (was that weird to anyone else? I mean, nothing says ‘my family is irrevocably strange’ than hitting up clubs with your pops).
If Young Hollywood wants to be sluts and douchebags, let ‘em. Maybe someday soon they’ll flush themselves out and finally make room for some actual talent to come through.
Ashlee Simpson seems ready and willing to help with that massive flush each and every time she makes a public appearance. Take, for example, her little snafu today at a DC radio station.
Insisting that his client was “simply just tired”, a representative for the younger Simpson sibling defended her slurred and loopy guest appearance on this morning’s Hot 99.5’s Kane In The Morning show.
“Ashlee was absolutely not intoxicated this morning on Hot 99.5”, her representative whines. “She has been working extremely hard traveling across the country to promote her upcoming new album by performing at night and waking up very early the next day to do radio interviews in the morning – like any of us would be – she was simply just tired.”
I love the “I was tired” excuse. It’s so the opposite of believable. Read More »
• Even if you guys may get a little skeeved by Tarantino’s obvious foot and leg fetish or his uncanny ability to come off as both the best and worst director in Hollywood, I just find it impossible to dislike the man. Even if he makes this. (Star Pulse)
• As if cigarettes aren’t expensive enough in New York City…now we can waste our money AND look like douchebags! (Crown7.com)
• Scientists think that a bra they’ve developed, that may detect breast cancer with the use of microwaves, is safe. Probably. (medialaunches.com)
I think global warming is an issue, but I still drive my Rav4. I hate animal cruelty, but I think I have a fur SOMETHING in my closet. I bitch about politics, but I still don’t think I voted last time around.
Yet somehow, this Paris Hilton 3 day county-funded vacation really pisses me off. SO, in my attempt to be proactive about something for once, I did some searching. Below, you will find the email addresses of the LA County Board of Supervisors. You will also recognize them as new members of the Hilton Family “Fruit of the Month Club.”
I have even taken the liberty of formatting it for you, complete with semi-colons – i know…dedication! Again, not looking for the death penalty, just think fair-is-fair and little Miss Simple Life should sit in jail and not by her pool. It was drunk driving. I don’t need to rant on the statistics of drunk driving fatalities – but if I see Paris on a MADD PSA – I might go bat-shit insane.
As predicted, since yesterday’s blog about Allison Stokke, it’s evident that her unwanted Internet popularity won’t be diminishing anytime soon.
We already know that she’s a gorgeous soon-to-be high school graduate with an amazing athletic talent. And we also know that she really wishes all of this attention – the Myspace pages, the newspaper articles, the blog comments – everything that is now surrounding her, would just go away.
What we didn’t know was that the men in Allison’s life are also being affected by her sudden stardom. And since it looks like her wish to go back to being just a normal teenager isn’t gonna come true (especially with bloggers like me on the loose) let’s discuss this matter.
Being that Allison Stokke’s father, Allan Stokke, just happens to be a pretty well-known criminal defense attorney, he’s having an especially hard time with this, because he obviously wants to track down and crush every single guy who says something sexual about his daughter. Even though he hasn’t brought anyone down in the face of justice, that isn’t stopping him from scouring the Internet blogs and message boards every day, in an attempt to filter out actual and potential stalkers.
He said, “I’m probably more sensitive to these things because of the cases I’ve seen over the years,” he said. “I’m concerned that something negative could develop from it.”
Allan will undoubtedly do everything in his power to make sure nothing from the blogging world enters into his family’s reality, and that these douchebags stay as far away from Allison as possible.
Speaking of douchebags, there seems to be one in particular who is actually allowed near Allison. Many pictures have surfaced of Allison and a guy who appears to be her lucky boyfriend. Well, lucky because he gets to date her, but unlucky since he is now the butt of many cyber-world jokes and, of course, these jealous blogger fans have decided that he is in fact a douchebag, and Allison must be rid of him immediately.
The Douchebag is certainly not a rare breed of male, as we have all come into contact with douchebags in some form or another. Whether he has unsuccessfully hit on you or your friend, or you’ve dated one, or you’ve watched one at a nightclub from afar because you dare not get too close to him and his “grinding” moves, a douchebag is typically a guy who makes it obvious right off the bat that he tries way too hard to be trendy, say the right things, hang out with the cool kids and yet, he normally ends up being “that guy” who you just make fun of to your friends anyway. Wearing sunglasses at night or globbing more product into his hair than a woman would ever dream of, a douchebag lacks an heir of natural confidence and comes off looking….goofy.
So, is Allison Stokke’s boyfriend a douchebag? Bastardly.com lets you decide for yourself, with six pages of Allison and her very lucky and unlucky mystery man.
For more pictures of hot chicks with douchebags, check out a very helpful website called (surprise, surprise) Hotchickswithdouchebags.com. Don’t let this happen to you.
Throughout my sophomore year at college I’d pretty steadily hooked up with this guy, let’s call him Blake. Despite the fact that we were on good terms and friends outside of the bedroom, our hook ups only occurred when I was drunk. I’d never really wanted things to go any further with him; he was a sweet kid, but really only as a drunk hook up and fun guy to goof off with.
Ladies of the world: stop your farting. Also, stop burping, spitting, sweating, and digesting food. Details writer John Sellers has spoken, and it’s bad news: we are not getting him off.
I’m not one of those people who gets super excited when celebrities make asses of themselves. Truthfully, I could care less if LiLo takes a sip of champagne or Britney 
I think 
As predicted, since yesterday’s blog about 
Allison Stokke
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