At last: all my social problems have been resolved. Gone, for me, are the days of shyness, the empty nights, the nagging sense that I and my lowly breasts do not have anything to offer the world. No – these days, I’m the most popular girl on campus, with a sparkle in my eye, a spring in my step, and a blood alcohol level that is always just high enough to keep me from operating heavy machinery. What brought on this miraculous change, you ask?

Why, it’s the Wine Rack, a bra stuffed with inflatable polyurethane cups to be filled with the liquor of one’s choice. To paraphrase the immortal Fergie, I’m going to get, get, get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump(s). And I now have a spigot on my chest designed specifically for that purpose. Read More »