Only douchebags drink Ed Hardy Vodka

Here’s an analogy for you, try to channel those SAT study sheets. (Ew I know, worst memory ever.)

Intellectual is to Bookstore as College Student is to __________.

Yes, the answer is liquor store. On my weekly (OK, daily) visits I peruse the shelves searching for a hidden gem. A creamy liquor stuck in the back, a girly vodka that will be the life of Friday’s pre-gaming party session. I constantly find myself lost in the aisles emerging an hour later with nothing to show for it but a bottle of Smirnoff, because, let’s be real, a girl can dream but I’m on a college budget here.

But just like memoirs by celebs who have done absolutely nothing worth writing about (Paris Hilton anyone?) crowding Borders’ shelves, I find myself annoyed by the obnoxiously overpriced bottles of celebrity alcohols that have made their way into my serves-the-under-21-crowd corner store. As if infiltrating every other aspect of my life wasn’t enough.

Can’t a girl relax in a liquor store without having to fight her way through tacky advertising gimmicks and heart stopping price tags?

Apparently not. I think a couple of them are so obnoxious and unnecessary that they are worth a mention. And a cease and desist. And the winners are…

Dan Aykryod: Crystal Head Vodka

Oh goody, vodka in a crystal skeleton head!? I will definitely pay $50 for that. Not! I think I can get the same affect by stopping by the Halloween store pick up a couple plastic skeletons and dumping my $10 Svedka in it, thankyouverymuch. Read More »

You know those artists that just seem to disappear all of the sudden? One minute they’re in your life (and in your head) and the next, you don’t really know where they are and you spend your days wondering if they took some office job somewhere.

This week’s new releases are all just like that. Once upon a time, I listened to these artists, but it’s been a while. And I was all “Oh my God, you’re still around?” when I heard they had new albums. I can’t even recall the last time I thought about Tori Amos, I happy pushed Eminem from my mind long ago, and it had been a couple years since I really enjoyed Kate Voegele. And this week, they’re all back! Read More »

A good playlist at the bar is important. A great playlist during pregame is critical, because let’s face it, pregame is more fun than going out itself nine times of ten.

Hate it or love it, here are some throwback jams to start your evening:

“OPP” by Naughty by Nature

Yeah, you know me!

Other people’s property? Sure… that’s what it means. Whether you know any of the actual lyrics or not, you can’t not scream the chorus.

“Shoop” by Salt N Pepa.

Ummm you’re packed and you’re stacked, ‘specially from the back / Brotha wanna thank ya motha for a butt like that…

I can’t not be happy when I hear this song. I also have it memorized and spontaneously start rapping when it comes on. My friends have learned to embrace it. Read More »