Day thirteen at this cracked out music television internship and I can’t seem to find a mode of normalcy. I’d like to think of myself as a fairly spontaneous adventure-seeking type. The every day conundrum, mundane schedules and habitual routine I follow during the school year tends to make me delirious and in need of a strong drink at 10 am (no, not coffee), but this was just insane.

All week I’d been running around Manhattan delivering costume jewelry or picking up edited music video reels, though some days staying in the office and making phone calls and writing e-mails (Not to James Franco, but to his agent’s agent). Needless to say, I was starting to crave a more conventional daily grind.

Today I was scheduled to help with a wardrobe fitting. Figuring I’d be pinning blouses to mannequins in some broke down warehouse. I wasn’t that bothered when my alarm didn’t go off and I was forced to shower quickly, neglecting my usual primping and hair straightening ritual. I’m Persian, and not one of those blessed Persians with the silky dark hair. I got the fro. The frizzy kind.

Rushed to make it to work on time, (Pierre, my very talented and very flamboyant boss would undoubtedly stick me with phone duty if I was even a minute late), I figured I could just pull it back in a wet bun and hide it under a hat from wardrobe. Read More »

Alright, so when I first heard Angelina Jolie wore a twenty-six dollar dress to the NYC premier of A Mighty Heart I almost thought she was awesome. I was like, no way! I wonder if I have it! Maybe it’s from Forever 21? Man, that Jolie’s the shit.

Then I found out the dress was black crushed velvet, and from a Vintage store called “Wasteland” on Melrose Avenue in LA. Then I found out the cost of the dress was proclaimed by Jolie herself, and that she wore it with crystal-studded, satin peep-toe Christian Louboutin for Loris Azzaro shoes. And then I just got annoyed. Jolie is shit, not the shit.

Every single day we hear about celebrities being ‘just like us’ with pictures featuring Justin Timberlake picking up his dry cleaning or Jennifer Aniston in line at Starbucks. I don’t think this irritates anyone more than me. Celebs are not like us. When I walk out of my house today I won’t be bombarded with swarms of paparazzi, I wasn’t invited to the Grammy’s, I can’t afford Gucci or Armani, and I’m not dating Jake Gyllenhaal (yet.), so don’t tell me that Jessica Simpson and I could be buddies.

If Jolie wants America to think she’s just like any other little lady on the street (Yes, I just said little lady), then there are a few things she might want to change. For one, Angelin-duhhh, black crushed velvet is not a summer fabric. Any average Joe knows that it is strictly winter garb. She might have gotten it from Wasteland but was she waste-d when she decided to wear it in the middle of June? (Gosh, I’m too clever.) Also, if you’re going to wear a twenty-six dollar dress and try and sell yourself off as a Frugal Frannie, then you might not want to pair it with $600 shoes. Just a thought. Read More »