There’s an app for that.

For what? Well, just about everything these days. From finding the perfect shirt to getting directions to that restaurant you’ve only ever been to once to planning your wedding. There’s an app for it.

And most of the time, I think that’s a good thing. I pride myself on welcoming new technology, embracing these changes and seeing them as good technological advancements, rather than unnecessary complications. But today I just might have to make an exception. Because after spending some time in the app store I’ve made some discoveries that have led me to question not only my love of technology, but my love of humanity.

Have you seen what’s out there? It’s okay if you haven’t. Because I’ve brought it here for you. Partly to inform you, but also so you can commiserate with me. These are the apps our guys are downloading? No wonder they screw up so often!

1. Breastimate. An app that can tell you the bra size of every women in the room. You can either upload a picture, if you’re really curious about an old flame, or take a photo right there on the spot. Just point and click and there you have it. A “breastimated” bra size.

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I don’t know about you, but the majority of my girlfriends will incessantly whine at a party if there is only beer available.

“It makes me full.”
“I don’t like the taste.”

As the ever eloquent Ke$ha would say, “Just stop stop talking that blah blah blah.”

Personally, I couldn’t have a more conflicting viewpoint. I mean, who needs dinner when I can have a couple pitchers of Natty Light all to myself? As for the taste, I don’t really know how to calmly and rationally respond to this to a group of people who instead choose to solely take straight shots of Svedka.

I’ve tried and I’ve tried but I just can’t seem to convince them of the marvel of beer. Perhaps this new report commissioned by the Beer Academy (totally unbiased, right?) that says beer may be one of the healthiest alcoholic drinks available for both body and mind (when consumed in moderation) will finally change their minds.

So here’s the dillyo:

1. Beer contains minerals such as silicon, which may help to lower your risk of osteoporosis.

2. Beer’s a rich source of antioxidants, vitamins, and fiber.

3. Beer has a relatively low calorific value compared with many other alcoholic beverages. Read More »

Don’t get me wrong, Christmas at home is wonderful. The big bed, the stocked fridge, the friends from high school you haven’t seen…it’s all amazing.

But then comes the fateful day. The day. When all of your immediate and extended family gather ’round and gang up on you, their little college student, and bombard you with questions you never, ever want to answer.

From experience, most dinners tend to play out the same way with the same questions getting thrown around for almost anyone who considers themselves an undergrad, so let College Candy help out this year with a few questions you may be asked (with the answers included)!

1) So, how’d you do this semester?

The old grades question. Here’s the deal: if you didn’t spice up the week with Wednesday night study sessions at the local pub, and therefore have good news to report, then you’re in the clear!

Not so lucky this time? Deny. Deny. Deny. Obviously, you’re not denying the fact that this semester happened, but make sure your parents know you’re looking for your grades, they’re just not available yet. Blame the computer, blame your campus’s network, blame crappy professors. Anything to hold off reporting that C- you got in Bio.

Because nothing ruins Christmas faster than pissed off parents. Read More »

Although the thought of trying to gain weight makes me more than a little nervous, I can accept that there are lucky ladies out there who naturally resemble sticks.

So I’m going to put aside my jealousy and tell you the secret to packing on the pounds. If you’re looking to lose ten pounds, do the opposite. It’s as simple as that.

Case Study:

One very thin New Yorker (5’8, 105 lbs) was tired of looking like a model and vowed to bulk up. When her buddy told her that he lost 10 pounds after giving up his two-beer-a-day habit, she started drinking two beers a day.

“Unlike Ensure, beer is tolerable to me, has loads of carbs and is low in sugar,” she says. “I’ve been swigging everything from monk-made ales to fruity lambics.” She raves about the quick results. Keep her words in mind you beer pong lovers. If you notice your pants are a little tight, maybe it’s time to cut out the sauce.

According to Sharon Akabas, a nutritionist at Columbia University Medical Center, a consistent daily increase of 300-500 calories should be enough to help someone put on ten pounds in 6 months. With 12 oz of beer ranging from about 110 calories (Bud Light) to 210 calories (Anchor Porter), it’s easy to see why drinking can help you gain weight. If each game of beer pong requires about…let’s say 4 beers. That’s about 440 calories if you’re using Keystone Light. Read More »