Blame it on the M-M-M-M-M-Miley

So apparently drinking and doings drugs is cool again.

At least that’s what our friends over at Jezebel are telling us the stats at Drugfree.org are telling them. 45% of high school students don’t see a “great risk” in heavy drinking. And 68% of those high school students have had their first drink by age 14. Additionally, since 2008 the use of marijuana is up from 32% to 39% and the use of ecstasy is up from 4% to 6%.

But let’s step back from the statistics for a minute an discuss the stuff behind the stats. For the first time in years substance abuse is once again on the rise and the real question on everyone’s mind has to be, why?

The director of strategy at Drugfree.org suggests budget cuts to prevention programs, the legalization of medicinal marijuana or even the stress of difficult economic times. But for me at least, these don’t seem like viable options.  I don’t think medicinal marijuana is behind this increase, nor do I think it’s the hard economic times. I mean, if teens don’t see the risk of binge drinking do you really think they see the ramifications of the stock market crash? And, honestly, I don’t think it’s the loss of prevention programs either. Teens today live in a world without limits. All the information they could ever want is at their fingertips. Pamphlets won’t tell them anything Google can’t. Read More »

It’s SAT season and you know what that means: high school juniors are buckling down and getting ready to take “the most important test of their lives,” the test that will determine whether or not they get into college, the test that will supposedly predict how well they will do there. Now, I don’t know about you ladies, but as a seasoned college student I have to say I think that is a load of ridiculous. I mean vocabulary and problem solving and knowing who the Kardashians are is all well and good, but is it really an accurate portrayal of how a student will do in college?

No. It’s most definitely not.

So we thought we’d help College Board and all those other important SAT people out by offering them a few alternative SAT questions. Real life questions, the kind of questions that college students may encounter on any give college day…

1. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…

(A) Four (B) Floor (C) Bed (D) Death

2. Beer goggles is a commonly used college expression. Explain the meaning of this phrase and then use it in a sentence.

3. A walk of shame is:

(A) Walking into class after said class has started (B) Walking home during the early hours of the morning in last night’s clothes after spending said night in with a guy (C) Tripping while walking in high heels

4. A steak dinner is to real life as ____ is to college life.

(A) cafeteria food (B) Ramen noodles (C) Chef Boyardee

Read More »

Happy Presidents’ Day, ladies!

That’s why your classes were canceled today, in case you were wondering. And why mattresses are “60% off TODAY ONLY!” So while we sleep in and high school students get a week off, and the rest of the world remembers all the great things our nation’s leaders have done for us, I’m going to  do some remembering of my own, but remembering a bit closer to home…

Remember (see I told you) when you were a little kid and you use to have to write those essays about what you did over summer vacation, what you wanted to be when you grew up, and oh yeah, what you would do if you were president for a day? Well, I’m finally getting around to writing mine. (Because I don’t know what else to do with myself now that I’ve finished my senior thesis.) In honor of Presidents’ Day I present to you, the top ten things I would change if I were president.

Disclaimer: This list is not to be taken seriously. These are not serious suggestions nor are they things I would ever actually consider doing if I were in such a situation of power. It’s just a little bit of fun. Read More »

Despite having 5 top-ten hits in one year, people constantly hate on pop singer Ke$ha. I hear it all the time: “Ke$ha is awful,” “She’s so gross!” and of course, “What is wrong with that slutty girl?”

While I can understand why some people don’t stand behind her gold tooth, nose ring, obsession with body paint, catchy techno pop beats, and copious amounts of glitter references in her songs, I can’t understand how people (especially college girls) don’t want to dance along with her.

I mean, Ke$ha is the ultimate college girl!

Think about it. Her songs are no different than average college life on a Saturday night, yet people are constantly “offended” or “shocked” by what she sings about. What, you can’t handle a little truth? A look in the mirror? Look past the nappy hair, the record deal, and the dollar sign in her name and Ke$ha is just like you and I.

And if you don’t see that, I’ll break it all down for ya…Ke$ha style. Read More »

As a college student I’ve learned that there are just some things that parents will never understand. And I’m not talking about how to change their profile pictures or how to DVR The Closer. I’m talking about the way life is now; the way we college students communicate and socialize and hook-up.  I know I personally joke about my parents living when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, but sometimes, after being forced to explain to them what a sext is, I find myself thinking this could actually be true.

So in case you think you’re the only one with confused parents (why don’t you just pick up the phone and call her! Why do you always have to text everyone!?), this list will help you to see that you’re not the only constantly having to justify to your parents that slapping a bag of boxed wine is a fine way to spend a Saturday night.

1. We drink like champions

Let me just start by saying, parents will NEVER UNDERSTAND why college kids drink so much. I think we can all say that it’s a fun thing to do, a great way to meet people, and an easy way to break the ice with the cute guy across the room. Yet parents will always wonder if a kegstand is actually safe and why taping cheap beer to your hands is fun. Just accept the fact that no matter how many times you try to explain the rules of Beer Pong, parents will think that package of ping pong balls in your room is because you and your friends reaaally got into ping pong this past summer.

2. Hungry? Let’s Order Pizza!

If you didn’t make it to the dining hall before it closed or ran out of pasta to make at your apartment, pizza is usually the first thing to come to mind. Parents don’t understand that it completely normal to order pizza seven nights a week without even peeking inside the fridge. Healthy eating doesn’t really exist in college. Sure we go to the gym and sure we sometimes make sure to order chicken AND BROCCOLI from the Chinese place, but we rarely pull out the food pyramid and consult it. Read More »

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In the spirit of being a post-grad and in lieu of the New Year, I have decided to jump start 2011 in a major way. I’m moving. Again.

As you may remember in May, I decided I need a change of pace and new scenery after graduation, which lead me to the Golden Coast of California. While so many good things happened for me out there (especially in the midst of LSAT prep), it wasn’t what I was looking for. In fact, a lot more was pushed upon my plate than I ever intended or imagined.

While a lot of people in my day-to-day life think I’m crazy for the flip-flop, and many people think “Why would you move away from being so close to LA to go back to the Southeast?” I have to do what is best for me – like any post-grad, college student, or human being should. When I tell people that I’m moving back, they immediately think “It didn’t work out for her” or “It was too hard.” And then some think this was just some minor decision I’ve made without any consideration at all.

Surprise! It’s not. There’s always more to the story.

Just as most post-grads do, we dream up our lives after college. And then if those dreams and ideal images don’t fit into the picture perfect box of hopeful life-after-college expectations, we do what we can to alter them. While I have done everything I can do to keep up with my dreams and expectations, I’ve had a lot of other stuff I never asked for fall onto my plate. See, I moved in with my dad – who is an alcoholic. And with that came tons of things I wasn’t prepared to handle. Every day it seemed like something new would happen or some kind of drama would ensue. Every day I find myself worried about what could happen. And I’ve had enough.

Read More »

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We are long past the days in high school when you would have to run home from the mall to make it by curfew.  The days when you would run into your house, wipe the sweat beads off of your forehead, and go play Sims for the remainder of the evening.

When you were young, the time you got home didn’t mean anything (well besides how many kids you were going to have on The Sims).  But nowadays, the time you turn in during college says a lot about you and your night.

Did you have one too many drinks during happy hour and now you need a nap?  Or are you a true party animal that is going to defy scientific research on how much sleep a human being needs and stay up for 72 hours straight? (Thanks, Four Loko!)

Let’s think of this like your ‘drunken horoscope.’  Screw your sign; what does your turning in time say about you?

11:00 P.M.

You have a test tomorrow or maybe a 19-page final paper to write by midnight. You’re tired, you’re cranky, your hamster just died. No matter what the excuse, you’ve made it clear that you’re not in the mood to have fun tonight. So after sipping on a warm beer for an hour, you leave the party with hopes that ABC Family will have a good movie playing.

11:30 P.M.

You are a feisty one.  You have hope.  Even though you are completely bombed, you still have the strong-willed fight cells in your flesh that want you to last the remainder of the night.  Unfortunately, your friends are smarter than you – and mind over matter does not work in this given situation. You’re pushed into a cab and sent on your way.

Read More »

It wouldn’t be a Friday night if you weren’t incredibly inebriated and on the verge of getting a record-breaking 10th DUI. But how did you get from your desk in the library to this high-speed car chase? We’ve  cracked the code to figuring out how you went from slowly sipping a beer to walking around the bar drinking the bar’s signature tornado-tini out of a cowboy boot.

Sober
All you wanted to do tonight was go home, catch up on your NSFW links, and fall asleep. But your stupid friends dragged you out to happy hour. But seriously, you’re just having one drink and going home. And your friends are crazy if they think you’re going to laugh at their jokes and engage in polite conversation.

Buzzed
You know what? It’s Friday night and it’s kinda stupid to leave the bar now that your beer goggles are just getting into focus. Why not order a few more beers, take a couple shots, and find out just how drunk you have to be to willingly take home your morbidly obese T.A from last semester. Read More »