When I think of Taco Bell, I think of the time I got really drunk and woke up with a chicken soft taco in my bed. And then ate it for breakfast.

I think about their sweet, delicious churros. And how everything there is smothered in ooey, gooey delicious processed cheese. Then topped with sour cream. I think about how I learned my first Spanish phrase from their little spokes-dog.

What I don’t think about is diet or weight loss. I mean, it’s Taco Bell – who would?

Well, someone did. 

Apparently some lady with a deep love for burritos lost 50 pounds eating Taco Bell (from the drive-thru – homegirl couldn’t even get out of the car). And now, thanks to her tremendous success, the head honchos over at Taco Bell HQ are trying to make us all think about Taco Bell in a new way. As in a healthy-after-workout option and not in a only-when-you’re-black-out-drunk sorta way.

I don’t know about you, but I just don’t buy it. I want to lose my muffin top (which has made its way to Costco-size) just as much as the next girl who spent her first three days of 2010 eating some variation of noodles and cheese, but at Taco Bell? Let’s be honest – any weight lost  “thinking outside the bun” will be lost on the toilet. I know you know what I’m talkin’ about. And I know for a fact that’s not the way any of us want to spend our 2010.

I applaud Taco Bell for their attempts to introduce vegetables to their loyal Gordita-guzzling patrons, but pushing the Fresco Fourth Meal as a weight loss option? That’s just insulting.

Stick to what you’re good at, Taco Bell: low grade meat smothered in fake cheese and gobbled up by drunk people who’ve long abandoned their dreams of weight loss.

What do you do when you’re craving delicious, spicy quesadillas? Put down your car keys — there’s no need for Taco Bell (especially when you are sober…that stuff is nasty!). This awesome dinner for two is healthy, inexpensive and easy. No drive-thru required.

You’ll need:

Whole wheat tortillas
1 cup instant brown rice
1 can black beans
1 green pepper, chopped (or you can buy frozen, diced peppers to save time!)
1 onion, chopped
Corn (on the cob is in season, therefore inexpensive and delicious, right now)
Organic salsa (or a chopped tomato)
Mojo marinade/sauce (sold in bottles at the grocery store)
6-8 oz. of chicken, marinated in the Mojo
Cayenne pepper
Black pepper
Salt
Your favorite toppings (lettuce, cheese, sour cream, guac, etc.,)

How You Do It:
1. Fill a large pot with enough water to cover the corn, bring to a boil, then add corn.

2. In a deep skillet, sauté half the peppers and onion in canola oil spray, about 5 minutes or until they’re tender. Set aside about half of them, leave the other half in the pan.

3. Add the black beans (with sauce) and bring to a boil. Add rice and bring to a boil again, let it cook for about 5 minutes.

4. Cover the rice and beans, reduce heat to low.

5. For the chicken, the quickest way to cook it is on the grill or in a skillet on medium-high heat, for about 5 minutes on each side (just make sure the center isn’t pink). If you’re short on time, you can use frozen, diced chicken and just cook it in some Mojo sauce to skip marinating it.

6. Spray both sides of a tortilla with canola oil. Add toppings, chicken, peppers and onion, then fold in half.

7. Remove corn from water. Spread with half a tablespoon of butter and sprinkle with cayenne pepper.

8. Heat a small pan on medium heat, then add the tortilla with all the fixins’. Grill on both sides until it’s golden brown.

9. Serve with corn and black beans and rice, margaritas optional!