Is it true though? Or are the tabloids just running exaggerated fantasies to harpoon mass appeal? It’s hard to know because these grandiose lifestyles are perpetuated by the attention drawn to them (unless the celebrity is actually talented). Case in point — the Kardashian sex tape.

Bad publicity is good publicity, I suppose… especially for the venues that become associated with celebrity attendance (who doesn’t want to go to places where you might see a rockstar in a bar fight or catch Paris Hilton stripping down to… well… a slightly more naked version of her usual self?).

When talking about club publicity, nothing turns up the temp on a particular venue more than the drug habits of the celebrities. The scandalous behaviors of one Miss Britney Spears has made headlines for a variety of clubs in New York including an all time personal favorite, Marquee. Yes, she has been caught using drugs in the public bathrooms all around town and she’s not the only one. The question then becomes, of course, how many drugs are being done in these places? Certainly you run a high risk (pun intended) of being caught abusing drugs if you are a celebrity, but what about us ordinary folk? Are drugs swimming through the clubs as the tabloids would have us believe?

The answer is YES. I would never consider myself a drug abuser, but I know first hand that almost every club I have been to has it’s own underground microcosmic drug scene. Club Stereo was closed last year after several cocaine busts, though this came as no shock as Stereo was known for being “pot friendly” and leaving the club was like opening the Scoobie Doo van (smoke pouring out). Tenjune turns the other cheek when it comes to smoking the reefer in the VIP section and won’t ask why there are so many girls leaving the bathroom with runny noses. The real shocker comes from Le Souk where I witnessed some special k being snorted in the wide open.

I have also witnessed people getting arrested. Again, Club Stereo, you win in this department with flying colors. On two — no three occasions I witnessed drug raids there, but in the end, drug use was far far more frequent than the arrests that were made. This can probably be said true for almost any club and can be said especially true for celebrities. Amongst my celebrity encounters few involved sobriety (or much respect for, I dunno… THE LAW). Indeed, the Studio 54 mentality lives on in places like Bungalow 8 (where you might just order “a rum and coke.. hold the rum”).

These scenes are often under the radar of the public because of tight security. It’s nearly impossible to get in unless you know someone, ARE a celebrity or (at the very least) have your very own assistant. Places rarely have to answer to the law because undercover cops simply do not fit the demographic of these super-dooper (more like super-doper) high-end venues.

This doesn’t mean that the celebrity lives we read about aren’t embellished to perfection, but it certainly adds validity to the stories. The truth of the matter is, we aren’t living lives so separate from those we read about and if anything can be learned from the tabloids, it’s two things: 1) where the drugs are 2) where people get caught doing them.

I remember the day Britney and K-Fed filed for divorce.

I remember it being a shocking revelation that the two trainwrecks were parting, leaving two little mistakes in their wake.

I also remember placing bets on how long it would be before Kevin wouldn’t be able to come near Brit-Brit’s babies. I was so confident that it wouldn’t take a month, that I made a bet with my roommate at the time. K-Fed was a grungy, skeezy, pot-head dancer…there’s no way he could be a decent father! Right?

Well, my roommate won that bet, my friends, and I need to officially pay up starting today.

Britney Spears has lost custody of her kids. According to TMZ, “L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today, stating that Kevin Federline, the boys’ father, “is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court.”"

It’s about time. Britney is a drug addict. Plain and simple.

She likes the attention. She likes the pictures. She wants us to see her looking like a heap of garbage. Call her masochistic but she wants this for herself. She’s “troubled” y’all and its completely disgusting.

If this is what drugs do to you, physically and mentally, I am counting my lucky stars I never got mixed up in them.

Hats off to Kevin Federline for coming off sane and grounded. Maybe I’m wrong, but I just can’t hate a man who can…I don’t know…handle himself?

Britney, your looks are gone. Your marriage is gone. Your kids are gone.

Time to f*cking grow up. You’re pathetic.

Did the judge make the right decision?

(Just couldn’t resist that title pun)

Al Gore III (could they really not think of another name?) was arrested early Wednesday in LA for speeding, and when the cops stopped the son of our recent Vice President, they found a whole slew of no no’s inside his vehicle.

Besides a small baggie of marijuana, Third Time’s the Charm was carrying “a variety of prescription drugs, including Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall.”

Wow. I’ve never known anyone who was depressed, hyperactive, in pain, and unable to concentrate all at once. Either Gore III has a lot of disorders, or enjoys taking prescription drugs without a prescription and then jumping in a car and driving 100 miles per hour.

Considering the cops were unable to find doctor’s notes for any of the pills, chances are chubby was doing the second thing.

Looks like the Gore name is gonna get a little tarnished.

But only in the illegal sense. The family is still eco-friendly. On the night of his arrest, chubby was driving a blue Toyota Prius.

Yet somehow, this Paris Hilton 3 day county-funded vacation really pisses me off. SO, in my attempt to be proactive about something for once, I did some searching. Below, you will find the email addresses of the LA County Board of Supervisors. You will also recognize them as new members of the Hilton Family “Fruit of the Month Club.”

zev@bos.lacounty.gov; molina@bos.lacounty.gov; seconddistrict@bos.lacounty.gov; don@bos.lacounty.gov; fifthdistrict@lacbos.org

I have even taken the liberty of formatting it for you, complete with semi-colons – i know…dedication! Again, not looking for the death penalty, just think fair-is-fair and little Miss Simple Life should sit in jail and not by her pool. It was drunk driving. I don’t need to rant on the statistics of drunk driving fatalities – but if I see Paris on a MADD PSA – I might go bat-shit insane.

Supposedly, she has been getting these injections before shows for extra energy and now “craves” the vitamins. Really? I find that hard to believe and feel it’s just another kooky thing that Britney is doing to keep her going. Remember the Kabbalah phase?

“A source told the New York Daily News newspaper, ‘She was calling around for a doctor to give her a B-12 shot. A doctor shot her up before her show.’”

Well I can’t say that these shots worked to improve her lack luster performance, but she was magically able to party till 5 am that night and then she stripped down to her bikini in public. Thanks B12 for giving us even more Brit coverage to eat up in the media.