[Everyone’s got a morning after story (some are more traumatic than others) and we wanna hear yours! Send it over to us and we’ll post it – anonymously, of course – right here!]

After months of leading me on, the boy I was falling in love with decided to hook up with one of my hall mates. I probably wouldn’t have even found out had I not woken up early that Saturday morning to go for a run…and found him walking down the hall with his shirt inside-out and his shoes in his hand.

I said nothing, just walked by him and ran down the stairs. It wasn’t until I was a mile into my run that I sat down and cried. A big cry. A snot down the face cry. And just as quickly as it came, it was gone. I wiped my nose on my wife beater (which I promptly threw in the garbage when I got home), got up and ran back to my apartment building.

“We going out tonight,” I shouted to my roommate when I got back. “And I’m getting hammered.”

“Uh, OK.” She responded from under her covers. “I’m just gonna need a Gatorade first, but I’m down. What’s the occasion?”

“Ben’s an a**hole.” I sat on her bed and explained what I’d witnessed that morning. She didn’t seem surprised – she’d never liked him – but she supported me anyway. An hour later, we were on our way back from the grocery store, trunk full of Jello shot ingredients. Read More »

If this study is true, then explain the last 4 years of my life.

Imagine this scenario:

You and your lady friends have finally finished the hell that is finals week and you are going out to party (read: get mind-numbingly drunk) at your favorite college bar. You’re having the time of your life, screaming out Miley Cyrus lyrics into your friends’ faces, pinky-swearing that you’ll all go streaking later, dancing on table tops, demanding a ginger ale,  forgetting about it as soon as you ordered it, and, last but not least, sharing cute glances with the heartthrob from class last semester.  He’s dreamy, but with your beer goggles, he’s even dreamier. You approach him, gush that he looks like a less gay and extremely older Zac Efron, and prematurely seal the deal that you guys are going to go back to the dorms…together.

You go girl!

You waddle triumphantly over to your friends and spit in their faces as you yell over Tao Cruz that you’re going home with this new homeboy you met from, like, your freshman orientation or something. “Is that cool? He looks like that boy from High School musical that dances on table tops!” And what’s your friends’ (supposedly drunk) reaction?

Apparently, not to let you go. At least that’s what a new report from the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse found. According to the study, 39% of students in that situation would try to “persuade someone to not go by reminding her that she may regret it.”  Only 21% would “wish she had a good time.” And 39% would wish she got home safely. (Editor’s Note: Really? Only 39%? Jerks.)

Um, can I buy a  ‘bullsh*t’? Read More »

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month we will be following a different CollegeCandy writer as she takes on a personal challenge. This month we’re standing behind Samantha and her quest to be man-free for 31 days.  She had a bit of a meltdown last week, so let’s see what this month has taught her.

Alright everyone. I owe you an apology. Last week’s article made no sense. Is she done? What happened? Did she mess up? Why is she crying? Just be? What does that mean?? This is really not very man-free!

True on all counts. I was under, let’s say, emotional duress while writing last week’s article. It was drama llamas all around, and there’s nothing more I hate than a drama llama. They just stand there, all high and mighty with their long necks and furry coats, staring down at you and then turning around like they’re disgusted with your actions…drama llamas, who needs em?

Anyway scratch what I said last week. Let’s talk about what happened this week!

Friday night my peer health internship was doing an event that we do twice each quarter called Snack Attack. It sounds a lot more fun than it actually is. Basically we (the interns) hand out little bags of animal crackers or pretzels to the drunken revelers in the streets around 1o PM on Friday night “to help them feel better in the morning if they choose to drink.”

Yeah, I know…

Nonetheless, you learn many things when looking at the meat market that is Friday night through sober eyes, my young grasshoppers. First of all, yes, your skirt IS TOO SHORT! And no, pulling it down every 3.5 steps DOES NOT HELP. Also, ladies, if you choose to fall at any point during your night out, please, please, do not make it in front of your college town’s uniformed finest while wearing the shortest, tightest dress and highest heels known to man. If you do, DO NOT attempt to be helped up by your drunk friend (who, in addition to her super-short dress and heels is wearing a walking boot – the kind you wear after breaking your foot!) who of course will proceed to fall ON TOP OF YOU. How you managed to not get arrested in beyond me. But I digress… Read More »

Hey dude,

I find myself constantly single, and I’m wondering if it’s because i’m too “forward.” I’ve been told I’m the “dateable” type and that I’m pretty, but I think sometimes I tend to rush things with guys a little bit. For example, this guy asked me on a date a week ago, and it was great! I’ve known him for a while through mutual friends, and I was really flattered he asked me. We ended up meeting up that night at the bars and I went to his friend’s house, then he spent the night at my place (no sex, though). We’ve hung out a bunch more times, and I’ve met all of his friends, but every time we have hung out we’ve been drinking and have hooked up. I know I should probably be taking it slow so he takes me seriously or whatever that nonsense is about the thrill of the chase, but girls have needs too!

We haven’t had sex, and I’m not thinking we will anytime soon, but I would still like the attention. How do I straddle this line between, frankly, being horny and still feeling special and not like a hook up? This scenario has occurred more than a few times throughout my three and a half years in college, and i’m beginning to think I don’t know how to be in a relationship or how to get to the point of starting one. Am I doing something wrong?

Thanks dude,
Horny Hook-up Read More »

"And that, my little freshmen, is why that boy didn't call you back."

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, it’s own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Enter…me! Every week I’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers, I’ll do my best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom.

1. How do I avoid that sneaky Freshman 15?
The most obvious answer is don’t drink. Drinking adds those extra calories that you didn’t have in high school, not to mention the drunk munchies. Who hasn’t gone to bed at 4 AM on a Thursday spooning a box of Lucky Charms? Leaving behind sports teams in high school and replacing field hockey practice with marathon drinking is a surefire way to pack on the pounds. Weekday drinking is probably the number one contributor to the Freshie 15, in addition the dining hall, the University equivalent of an all you can eat buffet in Vegas. Think about it. Not ready to give up drinking on Tuesdays or the tater tots at the dining hall? Utilize that gym on campus, join an intramural team and try to stay on a good sleeping schedule.

2. That guy that I hooked up with drunkenly at a party isn’t calling me?! What gives?
Pick and choose your reason(s):
- You were so blacked out you had a penis drawn on your face while you were making out with him. In front of all his friends. First impressions last.
- He has a girlfriend
- It’s a little awksauce calling someone after a sloppy hook up
- He doesn’t remember hooking up with you Read More »