Lesson 17: Dump Your Backup Guy

It’s midnight, the tequila is starting to sink in, your stilettos are a set of stairs away from breaking, and you’re at your favorite bar with your friends that you may or may not have used a fake ID to get it into. You’ve been listening to enough Ke$ha to already forgive yourself for the mistakes you plan to make tonight and so you stumble out of the bar and into the arms of your go-to drunken hookup. For the 47^th time.

While having a go-to hookup for the drunk version of yourself seems convenient and harmless, it can actually be detrimental to the potential relationships you wish you had instead. Even if you go out for the night on the prowl, promising yourself you’re going to be open-minded to meeting someone new, you’ll always have your backup guy in the back of your mind, preventing you from being truly open to new options.

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Hi Dude,

I recently met a great guy through one of my best friends from college. We hit it off right away, and really get along and have a good time together. One night, we all went back to their other friend’s house and slept there after the bars, where Boy and I just made out. No drunken hookup – I thought that was good! In the past, I got suckered into the drunken one-night stands, etc, and realized that no real relationship usually comes from those types of encounters. In the morning, things were great, but he didn’t get my number; however, he did ask my friend multiple questions about me and she told me that he is really shy when it comes to girls. We all went out again last night, and I ended up going back to his house to sleep. Once again, we only made out and slept together. Literally.

I am wondering — I actually kind of like this guy, and I am afraid of falling back into the drunken hookup cycle. Even though we are not having sex, or doing anything for that matter, is it still seen as “slutty” to go home with the guy, even if we are just making out? I figure he kind of likes me, as he doesn’t even really push the issue of having sex and we really enjoy each other’s company – sober and drunk. My question: at what point do guys think of a girl as a drunken “slut?” I hope I didn’t blow it with him already!

Thanks for your help!
Lindsey Read More »

This past week has been a blur of free time that only comes in the brief break between finals and when summer school, internships, and jobs really get busy. With the weather being cold and rainy outside (it’s like it KNOWS that finals are over and has sent the sun away to hide…), my plans for a group trip to the beach turned into a movie afternoon. Everyone met at my apartment, which was a chaotic mess that only comes with 2 girls moving in while 2 girls are still in the process of moving out. That meant there was only one DVD anyone could find (the one in the DVD player) and that, to the chagrin of all the boys, was “When Harry Met Sally.”

As much as the boys complained, they refused to go back out into the downpour and grab another movie, so we settled in, put our feet up on some boxes and watched. The boys made fun of it and threw popcorn around (don’t worry, I made them vacuum later…) as Billy Crystal stood on the ridiculously large television screen (sadly only in my apartment until June 1st, don’t get too jealous), trying to convince Meg Ryan that men and women could never just be friends. Read More »

If you are reading this it means that you are still alive. Congrats on surviving another (or your first!) Welcome Week! Don’t worry; those bruises will be long gone by Parent Weekend.

It’s been a great week and we at CC Headquarters have been quite busy while all of you lucky ladies are out enjoying your last week of freedom. After all, who else was going to guide the young, innocent incoming freshmen?

Without us, they never would have known how to deal with difficult roommates, how to tell if a prof was good, how to break the ice with strangers, how to cook when all they have is a mini fridge and hotpot, what to wear to the first day of class, how to handle all the weirdness of college, and the rest of the shiz that makes up college life.

And if we were out getting our drink on, who would have taught you all you need to know about condoms? Or why you maybe shouldn’t have drunk sex?

We are like guardian angels over here. Where are our wings, damnit?

It’s amazing we even had time to catch the Democratic National Convention, or find out who McCain chose as his VP.

And now it’s over, along with our sweet, sweet summer.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend!