A presentation by the American Psychological Association on college drinking recently released some statistics that may make you spit our your beer: 1. College students intend to drink to get drunk, and 2. College students use alcohol as an excuse for hooking up. Yeah. When I said you were going to spit out your beer, I meant because you’d be laughing with me.

If you ask any frat boy at a party he’d probably have told you these shocking findings, while saving money on the research. He might also then go and give one of his bros a big hug, saying “I love you man,” behaviour if questioned on, he would likely blame on the alcohol. Because, as Jamie Foxx has figured out, it’s pretty easy to blame it on the alcohol. Which college students inevitably do. So, in case the American Psychological Association wants to save some money next time, here’s eight more things college students blame on the alcohol. Read More »

It’s Sunday morning, you sit up slowly in your bed, vision blurred, hair lookin’ a hot mess, and attempt to take note of where everything is. After seeing a dress and shoes laying on the floor, you decide that’s enough and fall back into your bed. A second later you pop up and that”oh crap” light bulb pops in your head. You reach for your phone and hesitantly scroll through your sent messages from last night, and before you even open it, you see the name of your ex (from high school) pop up on the screen.

We’ve all been there, the moment when you realize that you might’ve done a few (hundred) bad things the night before that didn’t seem too horrible at the time, only to wake up having to deal with the consequences.

There are some faux pas that few people do, like paint balling an old teacher’s house, and ones everyone does, like drunk texting your most recent ex. So, just to make sure we are on the same page, here are the 5 biggest drunk faux pas:

Getting your Emotion on- Drinking,for some reason, brings out emotions that you never really knew you had. Like how you are still hung up on the boy who threw dirt in your face that one time when you were 9. Luckily you have his number and can call him to explain how he scared you and he is the reason you can’t find a boyfriend. All the while crying to your best friend who is trying, desperately, to shield the cute guy from your English class from seeing your mascara drip down your face. Not a pretty sight, girlfriend.

Losing…EVERYTHING. Getting drunk happens to bring out the forgets. Like, you forget your cellphone in the bathroom, and your purse outside the bar, and your shoes in the taxi, and your dignity next to that weird kid’s futon. Read More »

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come and gone (pun intended) and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status, it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

So it’s New Year’s Eve and you’re single…again. Cue the tightest little black dress that practically defies the laws of physics. Cue double fisting $4 champagne. Cue the drunk dialing your ex just to tell him you “don’t miss him or his BMW at all!” Well…maybe not that last one. Not this year anyway. This new year leave your ex from Planet Douchebag behind and give closure another shot by making it your resolution.

Lesson 5: Sometimes you have to create your own closure.

Breakups are messy. You don’t always get a chance to tie up the loose ends from a burned relationship with your ex love. You don’t always get your questions answered. So when sitting down to rehash your feelings with your ex isn’t an option, it’s time to take it upon yourself to sort things out. Read More »

In the last year, it seems as though being single has been my specialty. While flings and hookups have come (pun intended) and gone, and dates have left me with some less than desirable memories, my current single status has remained loyally by my side. I’ve learned a lot in the past year and I’ve discovered that single girls around the world are all in the same fabulous pair of shoes.

So if you’re sick of sitting at a table for one, eating a meal portioned for two, I cordially invite you to join The Single Girl Society, where being single is more than status; it’s a lifestyle. Of course, with everything in life, the single girl lifestyle comes with rules and I’ve picked up quite a few along the way. So kick back, grab a drink and let the lessons I’ve learned serve as your very own roadmap to transitioning to and enduring the single life.

Lesson 4: Single girls don’t let other single girls drink and text.

This past weekend I did something I can never take back. After a record-breaking year-long drunk texting hiatus, I committed my first TUI (texting under the influence) with the help of my old friend SoCo. Liquid courage in one hand and phone in the other at a bar that I used to frequent with my ex, I texted him (typo-free, might I add). Groan. A year into my no-drunk-texting campaign and just like that, all of it gone over one slip-up.

We’ve all been there. It’s Friday night and you’re supposed to be having a girls’ night at the bar, riding the mechanical bull and dancing the night away, making your friends take a shot every time they mention their ex’s name.

Instead, you’re looking around wondering if your ex will magically appear with a drink and a dance with your name on it. When you realize you probably won’t be running into your ex that night, you start to scroll over the old text messages from him. You begin reliving the feelings behind each message, the ones you spent all day sending to each other, giggling and running each text by your girlfriends before you sent it.

When the bar closes, you head out with your friends, laughing and stumbling into your cab and even though you had fun with your girls, you still miss your ex.  So you figure “What the hell, I already lost him, what else could I possibly have to lose?” and you text him. Read More »

Today, as I went about my daily business reading all my usual blogs, I came across this post on YourTango, listing off 25 really bad excuses to call him. Many of the reasons making up the list were a ridiculous, absurd and totally crazy…

And as I read them off, one by one, I realized I’d probably used all of them at one point or another in my dating history.

This got me thinking about how pathetic I am all the embarrassing things that we’ve all done in our lives. Particularly, in our love lives. Things that we reason are totally normal at the moment, but cringe about when we look back on them later. Things that we’d only tell our best friend over coffee on a Sunday morning, but only after she swore on her shoe collection she’d never tell anyone. Things that we hide from the people who love us (and judge us) most. Things that even we, ourselves, wish we didn’t know about.

But things that our friends, family, and fellow CollegeCandy readers are probably doing all the time, too. Read More »

In an ongoing attempt to make my life as awkward as possible, I have begun an intimate texting affair with a complete stranger.   Well,  he’s not a complete stranger. I did meet him at a bar in the beginning of the month. Unfortunately, I met him after I chugged six liters of vodka, took 17 Jager bombs, and injected 9 kinds of tequila straight into my veins. There’s nothing like waking up in your bathtub with trackmarks on your arm and a text from a strange number asking “where did you go, I thought we were getting married.”

My mind went through the events of the previous night. I remember hazing myself into drinking a gallon of alcohol. I remember flailing my arms, jumping up and down, and pretending like that was socially acceptable dancing. I remember making my friends (as well as nearby strangers) take tons of close-up pictures with me. And finally I remember meeting a guy in a red flannel shirt and promising I would marry him. Not too shabby for a Monday night. Read More »

It’s Thursday night, 8:00 PM. Most kids on my campus are pre-gaming in their rooms watching the new episode of The Office, but I am sitting half-comatose in a giant lecture hall, taking notes on Neo-freudians. It’s my own fault for picking such an unfortunately scheduled class, but I still silently curse my Ben Stein-clone of a professor as my phone vibrates for the tenth time since class started. Expecting another “where are u? we’re drinking at Kim’s apt, come!!” text, I glance down at my phone, instead seeing a blinking message: CANNOT RECEIVE MESSAGE. MEMORY FULL.

Frantically, I scroll through my texts, looking for one to delete. I keep scrolling… and scrolling… and then I’m at the end of the list, unable to delete even one. It’s weird, but there are just some texts I can’t bring myself to get rid of. And I know I’m not the only one. Read More »

Shots. Shots. Shots shots shots shots!

Let’s be honest: drinking is fun. So fun, in fact, you’re probably nursing a hangover right now so you can get the party started again in a few short hours. Everything is just so much more exciting when you’ve got a couple vodka sodas in your (carb-loaded) belly. Songs are better. Food tastes better. The weirdo guys from your Poli Sci class look better.

But somehow, no matter how much you drink, that sloppy drunk girl is still really effing annoying.

Yeah, a drunken Friday night (or Tuesday afternoon) is a wonderful thing, but there are a few downsides that come with it. This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to weigh in on their biggest drinking pet peeves. You know you’ve got some too; share them below! Read More »

We all know that in the world of college nightlife, pretty much anything goes. People drink until they pass out, wake up with penis drawn across their forehead and spend the next day puking their guts out while they plan an alternate route to class so they can avoid the guy they played tonsil hockey with all night.

And that’s totally normal.

But believe it or not, there is a line on that sticky, beer soaked carpet underneath all of the red cups and vomit that can indeed be crossed. Don’t be one of the troublesome party patrons who takes it from acceptable (in the college world, of course) to completely wrong and gross and totally unacceptable party behaivor.

Acceptable: Making out in a corner
We all know one of the main reasons anyone even goes to parties is to hook up. It’s expected that at any given point throughout the night there will be someone in some corner getting busy. Lucky them.
Unacceptable: Getting dry-humped against a wall
There is a point where you should excuse yourself and stumble on back to your own twin sized bed. No one wants to dodge hip thrusts to get to the punch bowl garbage can. Read More »

Oh Sunday mornings. There’s nothing quite like stumbling out of a lofted dorm bed in last night’s stretched-out leggings, wayward bobby pins dangling from stringy bangs. You brush your teeth, rub the eyeliner crusties from your eyes and attempt to scrub off that not-so-fetching jungle juice stain on your chin. You’re still trying to get the mascara off your cheek when it hits you. Did you text him?

Toothbrush still tucked in your cheek, you fish your Blackberry out from under your pillow, detach it from the charger cord you expertly wove around your bedpost, and cringe. You definitely texted him. Twice. Okay, more than twice, but you essentially said the same thing every time, so it really only counts as twice right?

It’s tipsy texter’s remorse. Drunk dialing’s quieter, slyer little sister. Drunk texting is even more perilous, simply because your chosen target has a tangible message to remember you by the next morning. A tangible message that could very well be forwarded to all your mutual friends. And why stop there? Mutual or otherwise, they don’t have to know you to get a laugh out of your arbitrary capitalization and creative spelling.

And of course, no one ever just types out “hey giRll hye, i mis ur face!!!!@! mylife wud sukc witouh u!” Not even near incriminating enough. No, it’s always a text to that douche face ex-boyfriend you never really gave up on, or that dreamboat in your stats lecture whose number you covertly acquired under the pretense of a review session. And you always have a killer intro, like “jst so u know, i nevr do tihss,” or “HELLLLLLLLO! gues where I amm rhgit now?” or “i’m soooooio hppay u hireD me for the smmuer!” Read More »