It’s not difficult to get messed up in college. Keg shells line frat house walls and liquor seems to flow freely from faucets. Yet, students continuously resort to more creative techniques to make their heads spin.

Why?

Most likely a combination of increasingly high tolerances and general boredom. But, the new frontiers they are exploring are not only dangerous, but straight up bizarre.

CollegeCandy has compiled a list of the 6 wackiest (and not recommended) ways to get effed up. Seriously, coming from a bunch of girls who enjoy Franzia for breakfast, we do not condone these actions.

Robotripping
Apparently, this old technique of getting a quick high is making a comeback. Robotrippers chug cough syrup to hit their desired peak. I remember seeing this on an episode of Popular back in the day and thinking it was the dumbest thing I had ever heard…I hated cough medicine! Ten years later, I still find it ridiculous.

Four Loko
The newest controversial malt beverage, Four Loko has caused quite a commotion amongst media outlets. With flavors from Watermelon to Blue Raspberry, they fuel students with a combination of alcohol and stimulants. Some students can handle the power of the Loko, but most cannot. Dubbed “blackout in a can,” students turn to these drinks to get drunk fast. Personally, I think Four Loko tastes like battery acid in a can. I’ll stick to an RBV, please. Read More »

I consider myself to be a female of average to above-average intelligence. I can effortlessly pump out research papers, calculate how much I can spend on eBay without overdrawing from my bank account and I can even pronounce and use words like “ubiquitous” and “ostentatious” in daily conversations.

I never thought that my innate intellectual prowess was affecting anything but my ability to make the Dean’s list. According to one Lisa Daily, though, I might be wrong. Being a smart and sexy female comes with its own catalog of setbacks, including the inability to find a man to love for life.

Basically, according to this article from the author of “Stop Getting Dumped: All you need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry ‘The One’ in 3 years or less”, smart chicks are less likely than their dense counterparts to snag a marriage license (and the man to go with it). Studies conducted in both Britain and the U.S. showed the same ludicrous results: the higher the woman’s IQ, the lower her marriage prospects.

Wait, what?! You mean, men don’t want women who can actually hold a real conversation about real issues? No freakin way. Read More »

So, Papa Joe might find me and kill me (or send out a swat team of lawyers). But I don’t care. I’ll put it bluntly, and to him: “Papa Joe, your family is hideous, and you’re to blame.”

I hate thinking about the Simpsons. I try not to think about them. Ever. But when I do think about the Simpsons, and conjure up their faces in my mind’s eye, it makes me want to stab my actual eyeballs with needles or a really sharp knife. Since I like my eyes, and appreciate all that they do for me (good jobs, eyes!), I try to avoid images of the Simpson clan. Nevertheless, the girls appear on a lot of my magazines and are picked on at most the blogs I surf every day. Inevitably, I am forced to think about them, even look at them.

I’m sure some of you think I’m being unduly harsh when speaking in such venomous tones. Indeed, the Simpson camp would agree with you. So, by all means, go ahead and join that nest of vipers. But I can’t help being critical. In my mind, they rank up there with the worst of the Hollywood hacks, a close tie with Parasite Hilton or Lindsay Blohan.

OK, that’s hyperbolic, as I am thinking of more counter-examples myself, not to mention that the Simpsons, like Lohan, are in a different category than Hilton types, who were born, literally born, with golden spoons in their . . . well, you get the point.

These days, the competition to make it to the realm of beyond-pitiful is steep. Nevertheless, my dislike for the Simpsons is extremely intense. When did it all begin? Let’s see, I remember that “innocent” reality show . . . aaaaah, yes, The Newlyweds. That guy, Nick Lachey . . . that’s when he was in the picture, too. But Papa Joe effectively cut him out, didn’t he? Read More »