And they’re surprisingly date-able.

I sat down the other night with two of my geekiest friends, Patrick and Jeff (not their real names), to discuss geek love. I asked them why a girl should date a geeky guy, and they gave me an intricate look at the geek lifestyle and how it translates into relationships.

First, we lay down the definition of a geek. They explain to me the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork. In their opinion, dorks and nerds are both socially awkward beings –– dorks because they’re too dumb and nerds because they’re too smart. A geek, on the other hand, is the perfect specimen.

“How do you approach a girl you have a crush on?” I ask.

“I do that?” Patrick asks back. Jeff explains to me that geeky guys don’t approach girls they like in order to ask them out. Out of a fear of rejection, they try to be friends first. I ask the guys how well this works out, they agree: not well.

Patrick tells me: “In high school [Jeff] pitched to me the idea of Dungeons & Dragons because he said girls would be there.” I ask Patrick if this worked out and he just gives me a what-do-you-think? look.

According to Patrick and Jeff, geeks are the perfect boyfriends for three main reasons: they are sweet, loyal and smart. It only makes sense that the same guy who memorizes a hundred Star War’s alien species will remember every last detail about his girlfriend and her love for all things Gossip Girl. And the imaginative guy that plays games like D & D (Dungeons and Dragons, for all you non-geeks out there) will also be the guy who comes up with adorable date/gift ideas…and maybe some awesome role-playing in the bedroom. Rar.

“God doesn’t give with both hands,” the old cliché goes. I firmly believe this. In my ten-odd years of dating, I’ve learned that the prettier and more charming the boy, the more vapid the boy’s brain. Those of us not blessed with fashion model looks or disarming charm had to develop (gasp!) personalities to compensate.

Geeks have personality in droves, and the coping mechanisms they developed in high school help them considerably in relationships. They weren’t the most popular kids in school (duh), and their after-school activities weren’t considered cool (audio visual club, etc.), so they formed tight cliques with like-minded friends, thus developing their loyalty. Geeky boys also had to rely on humor to survive; who could make fun of them when they were making fun of themselves first?

All the qualities that make a geek a geek also make a geek a good boyfriend. What girl doesn’t want a sweet, loyal, imaginative, romantic, funny guy who can also fix her computer and explain how a supernova forms? So, while you might have been glued to the football field bleachers in high school searching for the perfect boyfriend, now that you’re out of school it’s time to move away from the jocks and towards the geeks.

The relationship will be far more rewarding.

[Photo courtesy of hollywoodjesus.com]

But whatever, those days are gone (I swear) and I digress. My point is that after you hit a certain age and you haven’t grown out of it, you’ll always be a huge nerd. (And I don’t mean me.) So why this is now my problem? Well in the past two years since I became legal, my dad’s sadly overweight, still-single at 50 computer nerd friends have reared their ugly heads and have started to use what seems like the same lame pick-up attempts their younger counterparts try on me all the time.

Suddenly I’m getting IMs from men I once thought of as weird but kind uncles (one of them actually IS step-mother’s brother), and it’s not, “hey kiddo, how’s school? Keep up the great work!” No, instead, this is the kind of message I can expect:

Dad’s Friend: So I want to take you out to dinner sometime so we can catch up!

Me: Oh I’m sorry, but I’m staying with my mom this summer so I’m not in town!

Me: But hey, why don’t you take my dad out!

Me: Even though I know he’s not as cool as me … lol

Dad’s Friend: Yeah, or as nice to look at .

AH! If that’s not enough he then sends me a FAR away picture of himself after asking for one of me. Like I don’t know what his old, ugly ass looks like. Still, this occasion wasn’t as precious as this one with my step-uncle:

Uncle: I’d love to come up sometime and visit you in the city.

Me: Yeah, sure Uncle D! I’d love to see Ali and Spencer! (My kid step-cousins)

Uncle: Yeah well I could come up another time with them too.

Uncle: And just call me Dave. I’m not really your uncle you know. : )

So what’s the deal? Have my boobs blocked the memory of me with food down the front of my princess dress as I screamed the ABC’s as loud as possible in the middle of their conversations? Or am I just projecting a general uneasiness with the way older adult men at bars treat me onto my dad’s old friends who may very well just be trying to treat me like an adult? Even so I feel like there’s a line, when it comes to your best friend’s daughter, between former Dungeon Master and a date that they’re just not feeling. So how does one deal? I’m just putting up a permanent away message and opting for just a pat on the back instead of a hug at family functions.