Tax Day isn't so bad when your nibbling on one of these. FOR FREE.

So tomorrow is Tax Day!  Yay!  Well, actually, not really, because taxes blow.  Signing that check is like a shot to the heart to all the money that I have made…the little of it that there is.  Basically taxes suck.  BUT.  Tax Day has an upside.  “How can that be?”  You might ask.  Well reader, I shall tell you.

FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF! FREE STUFF!! (And some pretty great discounts to boot.)

To help ease the pain of forking over all your hard-earned money to Uncle Sam, a few mighty fine companies are offering up some really great free sh*t. So put the wallet away and get ready to rake in the freebies!

Subway: FREE COOKIE!!  (No purchase necessary!)

Starbucks: FREE coffee if you bring in a reusable mug or cup!! (Al Gore/Leo/Mother Earth would be proud.)

Jamba Juice: FREE smoothie with this coupon!!

Maggie Moos: One FREE slice of ice cream pizza from 3-7 pm! (Never had it, but putting two of my favorite things together has to be delish.)

Cinnabon: Two FREE cupcake bites between 6 and 8 pm!!

Boston Market: Buy one plate get one FREE with this coupon!!

McCormick & Schmick’s: $10.40 dinner and drink specials, plus a free $10.40 certificate for a future visit!!

P.F. Changs: 15% off your bill for dine-in or carry out!

Dunkin Donuts: FREE doughnut!!

Staples and Office Depot: FREE copying for up to 30 (Staples) or 25 (Office Depot) single-sided pages of tax documents!! (OK, so that one’s not so exciting, but it could be good for all you procrastinators out there…)

Wow, that was a lot of exclamation points, but can you blame me? We’re talking free food here, peeps; if that’s not worth some enthusiasm, I don’t know what is. I’ve never been so proud to be an American.

#8: Stop spending money on Grey Goose.

You can always count on a few things Monday morning: irritation when you wake up, hitting the snooze button a million times, general crankiness wherever you turn, Regis and Kelly, and, most importantly, my Weekly Ten.

This week, after a particularly grueling New Year’s Eve spent with 25 people in one tiny house with one tiny bathroom in New England, I had time (a lot) to reflect on my resolutions (and my hangover) on the train ride back to NYC. I pondered 2010 and my resolutions between pages of Jen Lancaster’s memoirs and occasionally badgering the BF to go fetch me red wine from the bar car on the Amtrak. Studying for the CPA cannot be fun when you’re sitting next to me. Especially when I try and guess all the answers. And I am the furthest thing from an accountant in the world. Maybe even the universe.

Anyway, back on track. Resolutions. We’ve all got them. Let’s see if yours match up with mine at all. Maybe you’ll even get a few ideas for your resolution list.

10. Be kinder to strangers
Particularly difficult when in a bar and weirdos, cough, I mean, “potential new friends” try and strike up conversation. This means I probably shouldn’t shriek, “TERMINATED” at people and storm off when I don’t feel like talking to them anymore, even if said person has a Finding Nemo tattoo. On their neck.

9. Eat healthier.
I’m doing this thing where I eat exactly HALF of what I would normally eat. It counts as half if I eat one pack of Reese’s cups instead of two, no?

8. Stop spending frivolously.
This should be a good one on my vacation to Vegas next week. Blackjack isn’t considered frivolous if you’re winning.

7. Study harder
Actually purchase necessary textbooks this semester instead of Cliff’s Notes. Also, may not want to consider hours logged into Facebook as study time. Same goes to watching episodes of “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” with a blank notebook in front of me.

6. Be more gracious
Screaming “HAHA! In your FACE! Oh my GOD, I KILLED you! Embarrassing! Wow. How did you survive in college with skills like that?! And by a GIRL too. Whoa dude, I’m not even that good. DAAAAAMN!” in my boyfriend’s face when I beat him in Super Smash is not a good call. And is exactly how I spent my morning January 1st. I did make it up to him later by giving him some Dunkin Donuts, though. (See Resolution #9.)

5. Educate self on important issues of the world
If I deem myself the unofficial “President of ‘Is she pregnant or not: Khloe Kardashian Edition’ Club,” that counts, right?

4. Organize and clean more
Just threw brand new Michael Kors winter jacket on ground because it was bothering me sprawled out on my bed. Literally two seconds after I wrote this. I’ll get to this one tomorrow. Or the cleaning lady will. My roommate hired her before I moved in, people!

3. Keep in touch with long distance friends
TWEETING AT THEM DOESN’T COUNT. Which brings me to…

2. Spend less time on Facebook
Considering the new willy-nilly (ew, remind me to never use that term ever again) privacy settings, this might be a little tricky. I mean, come ON. Who doesn’t love creeping on profile pictures of people you would never actually stoop to friending?

1. Go to the gym more frequently
This will be great, considering my dad’s main Christmas present to me was a gym membership to NYSC. Now I just need to buy all new work-out clothes from Lululemon.

See Resolution #8.

2010 is going to be a rough year for me.

Want to know what song is playing on the radio? There’s an app for that.
Want to mix some fruity cocktails by the pool? There’s an app for that.
Wanna get your rocks off with the same electronic you use for making phone calls? There’s an app for that.

The iPhone has an application for everything, and getting fat is no exception. Because Americans weren’t doing a good enough job of porking up on their own, tons of companies are developing programs making it even easier to access the fat. Ironic, considering all the obese people complaining that their pudgy fingers were too big for the keyboard.

You looking to pack on some poundage? Looks like you need an iFat iPhone.

BURGER KING NOW
Drunk Hungry for a juicy burger? Use Burger King Now to find out how far away you are from one of those Whoppers. Because “fast food” isn’t fast enough for your fat ass, you can create your fatty fried meal right from your phone! (Extra fat, hold the veg!)  Pay for it from the palm of your hand, skip the line and get your grub on.

Dunkin Run
Doing a coffee run for you and your friends before class? Too tired to actually speak your order to the hair-netted lady behind the counter? With this handy app, you can invite your friends, making you “the runner.” You can select your order (one giant coffee and a few Boston Cremes) and your friends will be contacted to do the same (and make you feel guilty because they only ordered a non-fat latte). Then you “run” to get the goods without waiting behind the 20 caffeine-hungry bitches already in line.

PIZZA NOW
This app was definitely created with my 3am drunk ass in mind. I am constantly stumbling home screaming, “PIZZA. NOWWW.” Only I have to wait until I get home to put in my order and then wait another 30 minutes for that greasy deliciousness to arrive. That is not now. This app allows you to find the nearest pizza places (in case you are partying in someone else’s part of town) so you can call and order delivery, or map the directions to walk there and eat that shiz on the way home. Mmmm.

Taco Bell Why Pay More Shaker!
So you’re starving but you only have some loose change on you? Taco Bell is hear to help (and clog your arteries). This app calculates the various $0.79, $.89, and $.99 items on the Taco Bell menu that you can afford. Just type in the amount that you have, and watch the value menu items appear before your eyes so you know your yummy options. (That is, if you consider $.79 meat yummy.)

FastFood Premium
Not sure what you’re craving? Find the closest food places to you and choose from Italian, Chinese, American, Thai food, etc. Call the place for directions and get your fat on.

Also, this week was the first week that, at least for a lot of the country, it actually felt like spring—which makes us (and squirrels) want to party!  So throw on that new organic cotton sundress, paint your nails hot pink, and have fun!  Plus, we all know that spring puts us in a sexy mood (you’re probably stalking your crush’s Facebook page while you read this, right?), and now we know exactly how to find that new guy.

With all the fun we’ve been having this week, it’s going to be hard to get back to writing that paper we’ve been putting off. But we must, or we may regret it later.

The only thing that would make today any better would be if today was Friday, and the last day of classes, and maybe if I had a hot date tonight. Okay, so today could be better, but this ice cream and coffee certainly aren’t hurting my mood. Honestly, anytime someone wants to give me free or discounted stuff I’m going to be incredibly happy.

In fact, my perfect day would revolve around freebies.  My perfect day would start with my Dunkin Donuts coffee and a free makeover at Sephora, where  they would send me away with a bag of free makeup and spa goodies. Then I’d swing over to Ihop for some free pancakes, served to me by the hottest waiter Ihop has to offer. You know what? Let’s just say Zac Efron will serve me my short stack. And he will be shirtless. I know shirtless isn’t the most sanitary condition for the food industry, but he’s just so damn pretty, I don’t even care.

On my way home from breakfast I’ll pass H&M who just happens to be having Free Wardrobe Day. I’ll swing in, stock up, and make it out in time for the iPhone raffle drawing at my local Apple store. I’ll win, of course.

My perfect day will also have the perfect weather. It will be warm and sunny, perfect for the new sundress I picked up at H&M. I’ll walk over to the park to enjoy the sunshine and figure out my new phone. Unfortunately, I’ll break the heel on on my new sandals (even perfect days have their bumps), but don’t worry – Jason Segel just happens to be in the park and sees that I’m in distress. He helps me hobble over to the closest shoe store. He says he knows the owner, and just like that, I score a new pair of free Jimmy Choos.

Me and Jason chat about what a great day I’m having. He tells me endearing celebrity stories and we bond over our mutual love of Muppets. Jason loves how positive and upbeat I am (thanks to my perfect day, of course) and asks me to dinner. We go to a fancy restaurant where Jason picks up the tab. He’ll take me home on the back of his Vespa, but my hair won’t get messed up.

Jason had such a great time that he gets my number. Inevitably we get married and become the next big Hollywood power couple. My new celebrity status gets me free swag all the time. I even make friends with Oprah who likes to buy me new cars every once in a while. “It’s too much,” I tell her, but I accept her gifts anyway because it makes her happy.

So my perfect day turned into a perfect life, and it all started with Iced Coffee Day. Get out there and enjoy your free stuff! Who knows? It could turn out better than you expected.

Mardi Gras is officially over tomorrow, so put your shirts down, drop those beads and celebrate the best day ever: Fat Tuesday!  I like to think of every Tuesday (or every day, for that matter) as Fat Tuesday, so I’m more than ready to celebrate.

A day devoted to all culinary indulgences? Sign. me. up.

Care to join me? Well, you can start by getting a free stack o’ pancakes at IHOP (much love to you, IHOP!), then move onto some of my favorite fatty indulgences. Click on the pics to find out where you can get your hands on such delicious celebratory snacks.

What are your favorite Fat Tuesday treats?

That’s right ladies; no more splurging on a non-fat-no-whip-whipped-soy-mocha-latte.

Starbucks, notoriously quipped “fourbucks” for its outrageous coffee prices, seems to be suffering just like the rest of the country. Apparently people don’t feel like forking over $6 for a beverage when they aren’t sure they’ll have a job tomorrow.

In an attempt to keep up with the Dunkins (Starbucks’ biggest competition) and reel those coffee addicts back in, Starbucks is slashing prices and offering some tasty (and cheap) breakfast pairings.  Cheap Starbucks?! Looks like the recession just got a little silver lining.

Let’s break it down: a Dunkin Donuts medium drip coffee and egg white sandwich costs only $1.99. If Starbucks manages to match those prices and throw in some of those little brownie cookie things, I’m sold. And happy. And totally lovin’ the recession.

What can I say? Coffee is my crack. Cheap coffee is my…cheap crack?

While there aren’t many details that have been released, more information should be available by the end of the week. Personally, my Monday morning classes would be so much more enjoyable with some cheap coffee paired with something delicious, so the sooner the better, Starbucks.

And, while you’re at it, a dollar menu wouldn’t be a bad idea either!

The fear of my impending final failure sent me scurrying to the library for some quality study time and I have yet to leave (I’m considering having my mail addressed here). Sixteen hours straight in the library and you’re bound to start feeling loopy. In the search for something to concentrate on other than the chi-squared test, you also might start noticing some weird things going on…

Because people are so consumed with work and are therefore also residing in the library, they’ve moved their entire lives into their tiny study space: private phone calls, private conversations, eating habits that should be private (anchovies on top of pizza—blech). I’ve witnessed relationship mini-dramas in the stacks, stumbled across a couple taking a creative study break, and some surreptitious flask sippage. Alchol and sleep deprivation combined with a certain amount of desperation will lead to some interesting things, such as the three recent events that I consider evidence of what too much studying does to the college student’s brain.

1. The Naked Donut Run

This is a tradition at my school that was started a few years back by some very enterprising students. Also very brave ones. Every semester we have a reading week in which to prepare for the upcoming hell of finals. Every semester we have a group of students buy several dozen treats from the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and hand them out to us poor harried creatures that once resembled students in the libraries. The twist? They do it in the nude. And considering most people are sitting at desks while studying, that puts you at a very interesting eye level.

2. The Absolute Quiet Riot

The Absolute Quiet Riot, a beloved tradition of three years, is the best study break I can imagine. It takes place in our Absolute Quiet Room, a completely silent space I’m sure everyone has at their school. At a prearranged time, a significant number (oh no, I’m thinking in stats terms!) of the students working in that room get up from their books and climb on to the tables and boogie. I’ve seen the swim, the lawnmower, and a variety of moves that should not be done without adult supervision, all in complete silence. It is the Absolute Quiet Room, after all.

3. The Band Playing Christmas Carols

I’m sure many people enjoy listening to music while working. I myself am a fan of having a TV show such as Sex and the City on in the background. This is somewhat detrimental to the work itself, but it does give me useful ideas on what shoes I will treat myself to when (if) I survive finals. However, I feel that noise of that calibre should be enjoyed through headphones. Last week I discovered that the Brown Band does not feel the same way. They marched on down to the basement of our Sciences Library and proceeded to play a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells, which was then followed by other carols. My ears are still ringing and I can’t use my calculator without thinking of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

These are some of the strangest things I have ever seen in a library, aside from our challenge (drink a shot on each of the 14 floors), but I’m sure you all might have seen something even weirder than naked people proffering sweets.

So, let’s hear it! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve witnessed during a late night at the library?

[photo source: http://agitprop.typepad.com/]

Sure, it was nice to be home. But I kept feeling like I had to go back to school, like this was more of a temporary sleepover than a homecoming. While the weekend kept me busy from noticing that my house was not exactly home, it also uncovered a new strangeness which college created—meeting up with high school friends.

Most of my high school friends, all of whom I have known for years, go to college within two hours of my hometown. So when a few of us come home for the weekend, we all come home for the weekend. And while I loved being around people who never need an explanation for my random songs or not-funny jokes, it was also startling to see how just a few months have changed us.

I left my friends for the entire summer, and I noticed little change when I came back. But now my friends are not just sitting around their houses or working at the local Dunkin’ Donuts; they’re making friends, testing their boundaries and (some of them) are becoming people who I never would have talked to in high school. When it’s just the few of us watching a movie or walking around town, I can’t entirely ignore the college sweatshirts, new belly-button rings and anecdotes starring new best friends. I can’t pretend that this is last June, when we all just graduated and were ready for something new.

We all desperately needed something different from our perfect little hometown. Well, we got what we wanted. And now, the constant of friends and home have been fogged. When I walked back into my dorm after Fall Break, arms filled with cleaned laundry and warmer coats, a friend leaned over the balcony and said hello. I realized then that while my house and my friends will never be exactly the same as they were, they will still be there for me when I need to escape from college.

But now I don’t need to escape so much. When I enter the dorm, I have people welcoming me home.

[Photo courtesy of danielbowen.com]

We always hear about the obesity epidemic in America: It’s a major issue! People are dying! Fat people are evil! While it’s true that being overweight can lead to serious health problems, it is not true that being overweight automatically means being unhealthy.

Which explains the new “Fat Acceptance” movement that is spreading across the country. Activists and supporters of this movement are screaming from the rooftops that being fat is OK, and as long as people are making good choices to support a healthy lifestyle it should not matter what size pants they wear.

And I totally concur. I cannot tell you how sick I am of salads, fad diets and feeling guilty when I want a Potbelly Oreo Shake so badly I could punch someone. So, you know what? I’m joining this movement and I urge you to do the same. Stop kicking yourself for enjoying a hot dog at your football tailgate. Stop crying after a late night pizza binge.

Put down that carrot and join me in embracing ourselves, no matter what size we are. And what is the best way to do that? By enjoying some of life’s most delectable treats. Come on, it’s OK; fat is in!

Pumpkin Muffin from Dunkin Donuts

It’s the fall, so you have to have at least one. And trust me – it is totally worth it.

Oreo Cakesters

Like the real thing but bigger, softer and so much more delicious

Dairy Queen Blizzard (specifically, the Cheesequake)

OMG THESE THINGS ARE SO GOOD I COULD JUST DIE. No joke.

Cheese Fries

There is nothing better than fried potatoes smothered in cheese. Especially when you don’t care how fatty they are.

Big Mac

Beef: goooood. Cheese: Gooood. Bun: Gooood.

[Main photo courtesy of the NYTimes.]