Thank god it’s fall TV time, I was beyond done with summer reruns and all of those teasers they kept throwing at us. I think we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that Snookie is back in our lives.

But with all of these new shows I’m finding myself sitting alone in front of the TV, rather than out with friends. Like most poor college students I don’t have money for any sort of DVR/Premium cable package. It’s basic cable or bust on my block. And although Hulu is a good alternative to staying in, it’s no DVR. So as a gift, and to make sure you are all in the same boat as me, here are my top ten must-have-in-my-dream-dvr-shows:

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[There are over 100 million sites on the Internet. 100 million! You might think you know about all the important ones (CollegeCandy, Gmail, Google, TFLN…), but there are thousands of other sweet sites out there (like Homeslyce, BadDateTV and Beauty Story) and more showing up every day! We get it – it’s not easy or fun sifting through the crap and porn to find those gems, so we’re gonna bring the gems to you. Just sit back, kick up those feet and allow us to introduce you to the diamonds in the internet rough.]

I love the convenience of watching TV shows online (besides that whole “burn my thighs” thing), but it can be a hassle sometimes when the season or particular episode isn’t available on a particular site, forcing me to hunt across the internet for the show I want to watch. Which, turns out, is only available in Japanese.  Luckily for me, I’ve discovered a handy site that makes everything a whole lot easier (…and in English).

Clicker is a super-extensive catalog of every TV show episode available to watch online.  To use it, simply type in the name of the TV show you want to watch in the search bar (or browse the site’s multiple categories), and Clicker will search it’s catalog of over 5,200 TV shows (and over 280,000 episodes!) from sites all over the web to take you to its Clicker profile page.  Once you’re there, you simply choose the episode you want, and follow the link to watch it!

Some of the links take you to places where you can purchase or rent the episode for a fee, like Amazon and iTunes, or subscription services like Netflix (which is the only option for some shows, especially ones on premium channels). However, there are TONS of shows available for absolutely free!

What a great way to save some money.  If you’re on a tight budget (and who isn’t these days, really?), watching TV on the internet is a great alternative to having to pay for cable.

Or maybe you already pay for cable, but don’t feel like you’re getting your money’s worth because your roommates keep hogging the TV in the living room to watch 90210 and Vampire Diaries busy social life keeps causing you to miss episodes of your favorite shows.  You might be thinking of getting a DVR box or TiVo, but those come with pretty hefty additional monthly fees.  You can get around paying those by catching up on the shows you missed through Clicker instead!

Just think of how much money you’re going to save (and how much of your sanity when you can watch what you want in the privacy of your own room) by using Clicker to watch TV online!

Anyone else feeling horribly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of TV on these days? It seems like only yesterday we were watching Crossroads on HBO because there was nothing. else. on. And now? Now our DVR is on overload and we have to cancel plans with our friends to fit it all in.

Case in point: tonight.

I was supposed to be hanging out with a boy I like, drinking the vodka I like and, hopefully, ending up in the position I like, but I had to cancel. Why? Because The Hills is back! I’m not missing out on an evening with the people I love to loathe for some guy.

He’ll be around tomorrow, but The Hills season premiere will only be on once.

Ok, so it will probably be on 1,000 more times this week, but I need to see it now. It’s bad enough I had to wait all summer watching reruns of Parental Control; I can’t wait another minute.

And in honor of the big return, I’ll be live-blogging the whole shebang, from Natasha Bedingfield to the scenes from next week. I’ll be covering the introduction of Kristin Cavallari, the return of now-married Speidi and those annoyingly long commercial breaks full of ads for Axe and the upcoming season of The Duel: 48.

So come back to this here website at 10 PM ET to watch with me. Who knows? Maybe if I’m feeling extra lively, I’ll stick around for the snoozefest known as The City. Maybe. I’m not sure even Olivia Palermo/Whitney’s wardrobe choices can motivate me to sit through that shiz for another season.

As humans, we have inner demons that can only be quieted by indulging in our uncontrollable desires. Take the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins. Depending on your beliefs or interpretations, you may agree that we have a natural inclination towards these temptations. For example, I totally lust after my boyfriend’s six pack, I greedily horde my money, I’m a glutton for any sort of frozen yogurt, and I envy Megan Fox’s…everything.

Being the crafty marketing team they are, America’s consumer industries are exploiting our desires to indulge in these Seven Deadly Sins (and are getting filthy rich because of it!). Hey, maybe if we all sinned a bit more, we could nix this recession like Cain did Abel! Ready to be a bad girl? Hit up these industries to silence your inner, money spending demon:

Lust – While the recession has taken away many things, at least it’s bringing sexy back! Erotic industries, such as sex toy company Babeland, have seen a 25% increase in sales. Makes sense: The less hours you’re given at your job, the more quality time you have to spend with your brand new Mini Pink Leopard Vibe! The best part? Babeland is always having sales to keep you “cumming” back for more. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Gluttony- Did your latest paycheck leave your pockets feeling empty? At least you can still fill your tummy with greasy, affordable goodness! Americans appreciate the cheap convenience of fast food, so we keep hitting those drive-thrus and saving our money. It’s a trade-off, because we sacrifice good health for a good deal, but no one wants to shell out big money for the organic aisle at Walmart. And thanks to that logic, Ronald McDonald’s painted-on, red smirk is widening by the fiscal year.

Greed- Hit up Vegas recently? Despite declining tourism in Vegas, I’ve noticed that the casinos in my area of Northern California (including Reno and Lake Tahoe) are still emptying pockets like nobody’s business. Our insatiable, greed-driven thirst for money and power is continually fed by these casino industries. They are doing so well, in fact, that my town’s closest casino has drummed up enough income to begin construction on a swanky resort hotel. Because nothing says a good time like driving ten minutes from your home to check into a hotel and throw your money away at the craps table.

Sloth- Psh, if I were the embodiment of a sin, Sloth would be my name and Lazy would be my game. After finally deciding to get some Dish Network up in the apartment I share with the boyfriend, I chose to shell out the extra deuce for DVR. You don’t get any lazier than “I’m too tired to even flip through channels. Where’s that Little Couple episode I recorded last night?” You girls all gotta admit you would/do pay extra for the convenience of being lazy via your boob tube.

Wrath- Personally, I don’t get down with the emotion of anger. You can say I’m a lover, not a fighter. But tell that to the Hooters that has men spilling out of their doors and windows just to watch the UFC fight and chow down on some chicken waaangs. Granted, it doesn’t hurt that there are some hot mamas providing this service. But by these guys living vicariously through cauliflower-eared, sweaty men beating the hell out of each other, they are perpetuating the sin of Wrath. And Dana White is sinfully wealthy because of it!

Envy- The Green-Eyed monster can be found in almost any industry. Particularly those in which sales rely on the fact that girls are constantly in competition with each other. We buy magazines just to drool over the bodies we are jealous of, the ads for shoes we could never afford, the articles about overachievers that make us feel unsuccessful in comparison…and we just end up more envious than we did to begin with.

Pride- Taking pride in your appearance is vital to social acceptance and self-confidence. But you gotta admit that with plastic surgery, celebrity emulation, buckets of makeup and clocking hours in the mirror, we take vain to the next level. With our persistant focus on our outer appearance, industry big-wigs like Dr. Rey and M.A.C. Cosmetics are riding high on our hard earned dollars.

So, yeah, you may be feeling guilty for giving into your sinful consumer ways. But consider your participation in our economy a good deed. Don’t let your buyer’s remorse or shopping guilt get you down, my Angelic American. Because sometimes, it just feels good to be bad.

But when my dean handed me my diploma, my parents took away the checkbook and I was on my own. For everything.

I didn’t know much about saving, but I knew that I wanted to spend as little as possible on the big stuff so I could have more money for the things I wanted. Like shoes. And bags. And shots of vodka.

But I learned the hard way (by purchasing a broken TV from Craigslist) that while being frugal is a great idea (especially now when saving is even more important) there are a few things that are worth splurging on as you embark on your new life as an adult.  It may be hard to part with the big bucks, but I promise you these 5 items are worth every. last. penny.

Your bed:
It seemed weird at the time, but when I was at my graduation party an older cousin of mine pulled me to the side and gave me the “most important advice you’ll ever need.” What was it? To fork over the cash for a good mattress. Begrudgingly, I heeded his advice and now I must pass it along to you.  You will be spending a good chunk of your life on your bed (especially if you are living in a small studio!), so this is definitely a purchase worth splurging on. There is a huge difference between a cheap mattress and a good mattress, so this is a place where spending more will make a huge difference. And what is that difference? A body that doesn’t ache, a lot of good sleep, and an oasis to snuggle in after a long and hellish day at work.

Renter’s Insurance:
This stuff costs about $125 a year and covers all of your belongings in your apartment in case of fire, water damage, or anything else that might happen to that 1 bedroom apartment (converted into 2) that you call home. $125 may seem like a lot to throw down when you’ve got so many other things to purchase, but just imagine how much you’d be spending if something happened to your apartment (like the roof blowing off….true story) and you lose all your stuff (like all those designer jeans you’ve been collecting…true story. Sigh).

DVR:
$15 a month adds up quickly, but there is nothing better than coming home from work on a Friday and having all of your shows waiting for you. Without commercials.

Costco Membership:
If you’ve got a Costco (or Sam’s Club) nearby, become a member. You’ll spend some money to join, but you will save a ton on your basic necessities: toilet paper, paper towel, cereal, vodka…. And weekend sample days? That’s 4 free meals a month, people.

Online Dating:
It’s really hard to meet people in a big city, so if you’re single, sign up for a dating website. It is annoying to spend $25-40 a month to talk to some major freaks (because that is who you’ll encounter about 80% of the time), but there are some gems in there that you wouldn’t meet any other way. And if nothing else, you’ll make your money back in free drinks/dinners with the boys you find.

Finding your place in this next phase of your life isn’t always easy. In fact, as I’ve said before, it’s really freaking tiring.  But there are some tools out there to help you hold onto the familiar and survive the scary unknown. Here are your soon-to-be post grad BFFs:

1.   Skype: Oprah’s obsessed with it and for good reason. All you need is a computer (clearly, you’ve got one since you’re reading this), a webcam (there are cheap ones available on Amazon or at Wal-mart) and some internet (which you can jack from any of your new neighbors who aren’t smart enough to lock that sh*t down). You download the program for free and then talk to any of your friends in the world for free, face to face. So, if you’ve got one friend teaching English in Korea and one friend doin’ the political thang in DC and you’re sitting at your parents’ trying to find a job, you can still “get together” weekly for some old time recaps.

2.    Twitter: I’ll be honest; it’s incredibly difficult to keep in touch with people after college. Everyone is busy doin’ their own thang: making friends, impressing their new bosses, passing out at 7pm after happy hour… Even if you do get some time every other week to talk, phone calls or emails aren’t enough to stay totally connected. Enter Twitter. I know, I know – who the hell would ever want to know what you are doing all the time? Uh, how about your friends? They knew every detail of your life in college, so why wouldn’t they be interested now? Get over your resistance to Twitter addicts and hop on the bandwagon. Set up an account and have your friends do the same. You can all follow one another and really stay connected on the day to day happenings. That’s the stuff that really keeps people together, after all.

3.    GChat: Unless you work for an awesome company like this one, most offices block AIM at work. And let me tell you – when it’s your first year out of college and you are doing some really. boring. sh*t at work, IMing your friends is the only thing to get you by. Good thing most offices keep Gmail available. You can keep that open all day and use Gchat to IM your friends (and they even allow you to login to your AIM!). It’s genius, really. (And if your office does block Gchat – those bastards – try meebo.com, where you can login to AIM, MSN messenger, Gchat, etc.)

4.   2 Buck Chuck: Adjusting to the whole 9-5 lifestyle is stressful. When was the last time you were in the same place for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? More likely, your classes were scattered, your start times varied, and you could always skip lecture in favor of a hangover. Best way to ease the stress? A drink. Especially a cheap one. Don’t waste your money on $6 beers at the bar – you should be saving that stuff! Instead, load up on Charles Shaw wine (available at Trader Joe’s). It’s cheap ($2-3), tasty, and the perfect way to relax on your couch after a really long day at a computer. And, yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to have a glass of wine alone. (Right?)

5.    DVR: Life after college doesn’t look like SATC or The Hills for most people. What it really looks like is this: wake up, go to work, come home from work, go to the gym, come home and eat a bowl of cereal on the couch in front of the TV. Go to sleep. Do it again. Being that most of your out-of-office time will be spent in front of the TV, the DVR will be your best friend. You can catch all that “quality” programming that plays while you’re at the office (after all, you haven’t missed an ep of the Price is Right in 4 years!), and then have plenty to watch when you get home and your brain hurts too much to do anything else.

First of all, it’s nearly impossible for me to predict how much income I’ll rake in in a given week.  Second, there’s no way I can simply skip my monthly Metrocard (or other necessity) because I miscalculated.  So I charge it.  And then I charge five energy drinks because the grocer only accepts credit for purchases of $10 or more.  But the reality is, if I quit energy drinks (over $2 a pop), I would save hundreds of dollars a year.  What are you wasting your money on?

1.  The Bar

In New York City, you’re going to pay at least $10 for a Long Island Iced Tea.  For $10, you can buy a jug of Carlo Rossi or an 18-pack of Natty Ice, and you can nix the tip.  Even at cheap college bars, you’re bound to pay a cover charge to enjoy Nickel Nite, and even though you’re basically drinking for free, you have to tip on every round.  Instead of having a big bar night this week, have a liquor potluck, and invite all of your friends to come over with that random bottle that’s been collecting dust for months.  You’ll get drunk without spending a dime, and won’t have to wait 20 minutes for an overwhelmed bartender to take your order.

2. Gratuity

My roommate has EVERYTHING delivered.  Newsflash: Just because a restaurant advertises Free Delivery, you’re still going to spend 15-20% more than you would if you walked your ass down to Willy’s Wings.  This also falls in line with the bar thing, mentioned above, because if you think about it, a regular tip should be 15-20%.  So if your bar tab is $20, you should be tipping about $3-4.  But at the bar, patrons usually tip per round, and good tippers will tip per drink.  So even if you’re buying $2- or $3 pints, you could be tipping near 50% per round.  And hey, I’ve been a waitress forever, so I’m not advising anyone to save money by skimping on the tip; just cut out the services that require a tip in your life.

3.  Prepared Foods

That $5 sandwich you buy at the coffee shop every day will cost you about $25 a week (I’m not counting the weekends, when you’re not rushing from class to class).  That’s $1,300 a year.  Seriously.  For about $10, you can buy a loaf of bread, a half-pound of lunchmeat, and a quarter-pound of cheese, and make your own sandwiches for a week.  At an Italian restaurant, you’ll be paying around $15 for a pasta dish that you could make at home for less than five bucks.  Even your daily coffee is overpriced.  It’s okay to treat yourself to a full-service dinner sometimes, but before you go for that latte that’s been upcharged with Soy milk, flavored syrup, and a double shot of Espresso, ask yourself if the caffeine in a cup of Joe you brewed yourself would still do the trick.

4.  Cigarettes.

You don’t need them, they pollute your lungs, they yellow your teeth and make you smell like an ashtray, and they cost $5-$10 a pack, depending on your location.  Any questions?

5.  Gas.

Sure, gas prices have plummeted.  But you can save even more!  Do you and your friend always have to take separate cars on a rendezvous? Figure out a carpool schedule that’s fair for everyone.  Do you frequently start and stop your car? That wastes gas, so keep it running when you’re parked in your friend’s driveway for a minute while she finds her keys.  Obey the speed limits and traffic laws – braking hard and accelerating too quickly will eat gas like a pre-menstrual Ricki Lake at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.   Oh, and get your engine checked regularly.  A faulty car has to work twice as hard to get you where you’re going.

6.  Brand Names.

You can recreate just about any high-end look by having a watchful eye for clearance sales, discount department stores, and thrift store racks.  Likewise, Boar’s Head will cost you twice as much than your store brand deli meat, and when you’re buying macaroni and cheese in a freaking box, it doesn’t have to be Kraft.  That’s the point of Mac N Cheese.

7.  Your Gym Membership.

Just because you have one doesn’t mean it’s going to motivate you to go.  If you go to the gym sporadically, you probably don’t need the membership.  And if you are paying big bucks for an exclusive fitness center, you might consider checking out low-cost clubs like Planet Fitness ($20/month) or free rec services at your school.  Investing in a couple of weights, a medicine ball, or some DVDs might also save you money, and then there’s running, push-ups, and squats, which are always free.

8.  Your Friends.

It’s great if you and your pals don’t have to go strictly tit for tat, but the phrases, “Oh, I’ll get this, you can get the next time,” “I know you’ve had a rough week. Let me buy you a drink,” or “If I order a pizza, will you have some?” are going to get you into trouble.  So is saying you’ll put the bill on your credit card if everyone chips in– you’re bound to end up overcompensating for someone.  Sharing is great.  Just make sure you’re not getting the raw end of the deal.

9.  DVR or Tivo.

I’m pretty much obsessed with Lost, but I know if I miss it, I can catch up on ABC.com over the weekend.  So I also know that if you miss Nip/Tuck, The Office, or G’s to Gents, you aren’t going to die.  Say you spend $10 extra on your cable bill each month for DVR: that’s $120 a year, just to be able to fast-forward through commercials.

10.  The “Little Things”

An iTunes song for $1.  A magazine for $4. 75-cents for a bagel and 25-cents to add cream cheese. $20 to overnight your financial aid application because the deadline came out of nowhere. Saving money is like dieting.  If you try to restrict yourself too much, you’re bound to break, and splurge.  So that $1 iTunes song snowballs into Jimmy Buffet tickets, that coffee-shop bagel becomes routine because you don’t feel like you have the money to shell out a few bucks on storebought English muffins.  And you’ve been so disorganized that you’re always running late, which means you’re going to have to spend money on efficiancy.  It all adds up.

Before you buy something, ask yourself, is it worth it? Do you need it? If you didn’t buy that item, could you put the money towards something nice for yourself, like a new pair of shoes or a weekend vacay?  It is okay to spend money on superfluous things, but try to cut some of your expenitures out of your life first, and then plan a day to reward yourself.  Chances are you still won’t spend as much money.

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident, I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Let it all hang out. I feel you.]

1. Health and Fitness Contradictions: Some say to eat more fiber. Others tell me to focus more on protein, and still others say to get rid of everything and stick to a diet of grapefruit and tabasco sauce. Which is it, people? Stop with the contradictory research and just tell me what is going to get me back the body I had before I discovered my obsession with bacon on my pizza. Because right now, I’m eating a lot of fiber, protein and grapefruit and it doesn’t seem to be helping.

2. A Lack of Positive Reinforcement: I don’t need people to sing to me every time I make a pee pee on the potty, but a little reinforcement for a job well done would be nice once in awhile. “You got an A on your exam? Great work!” Or, “Wow, you really know your way around a beer bong!” But no. I get nothing. Except, of course, if something goes wrong; then I don’t hear enough about it. “Jesus Christ! Who puked on the bathroom wall again!?”

3. My DVR: I know, I know. No one should ever have something bad to say about DVR. But I do, because even though I set it to only record new episodes, that thing records every single freaking episode (and rerun) of my shows. 3 episodes of Oprah a day, 10 episodes of Bromance (yes, I DVR Bromance), and like 1,257 episdoes of What Not to Wear a Week. What are the settings for, Mr. DVR? If I wanted 423 episodes of The City I would have said something!

4. Waiting for Obama to fail: Where is all the excitement around our new president? It seems that the moment he hung up his Inaugural tux, everyone turned on him. No one is waiting to see what great things he can do; they are all just counting down the days until he disappoints us. Which he will, if we have no faith.

5. Comcast Cable: (Yes, I realize that TV has made its way into this post twice, but I kinda have no life.) My cable AND internet went out 4 minutes before Obama was Inaugurated. Then they went out again before The Office came on Thursday night. And what does Comcast do? Refund me the $9 for the lack of service. $9 for the biggest political event in history? $9 for a missed moment that I have been waiting 8 freaking years for?! $9 to miss Michael Scott and Dwight Shrute lick their lips at eachother in the car (I caught it on Hulu, thank god)?! I hate you, Comcast. HATE YOU.

I just don’t know if 2 days is enough for me.

Being that I have such a public forum at my disposal, I thought I would go the extra mile this year and clear my slate of sins before I even step foot into synagogue this evening. So, without further adieu, here are my apologies. Please forgive:

- I am sorry for doubting the Wolverines and their ability to have a KILLER comeback in a football game.

- I am sorry that I called that girl a bitch in the bathroom because she refused to pass me toilet paper under the stall.

- I am sorry for all those times I cut people off while driving; I thought I had more important places to be than them, but I now realize that getting home in time for Oprah is really not important at all (mostly because I have DVR).

- I am sorry for talking badly behind people’s backs all year. I am also sorry that I will do it again next year.

- I am sorry for stealing internet from you, upstairs neighbor. But you should be sorry for waking me up at 6am on weekends while having (LOUD) sex with your boyfriend.

- I am sorry for this.

God I love this holiday. The apples and honey, the family meals, and the fact that all my wrong doings can be erased simply by asking. I can see why Lindsay Lohan wants to be a jew.

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