Here’s the deal, people. I love reality TV as much as the next person. I die over the fake words and ridiculous sayings that The Situation or Rachel Zoe come up with every week and immediately go ba-nanas figuring out how I will incorporate said words into my daily vernacular.

But I also love quality TV. You know, something with a plot line. Something with some drama (and I’m not talking about The Situation putting a tampon under Angelina’s pillow type of drama, thankyouverymuch). Something with a hunky male lead who doesn’t rely on a daily routine of GTL to maintain his hunkiness. Actors with actual talent. I’m talking about a show with a certain actor whose daughter once wore a vial of blood around her neck.

I’m talking about Lone Star.

If you didn’t watch Lone Star last week, well, you aren’t alone. Apparently no one did. Except me. And the cast’s proud parents. But you should. And by that I mean you should watch tonight. Because if you don’t it will probably get cancelled. And I will cry, partly because I’m PMSing but mostly because the show is good. Apparently, though, sometimes good just isn’t good enough and everyone’s getting worried; even the creator has been pleading for a “stunning upset”!

So here is my plea. In a list.
5 reasons you should be watching this hot, new show:

1) DWTS = meh. I mean really, it’s the same schtick year after year, week after week. Len has his panties in a bunch, Bruno has some over the top moment where he is obsessed with a dancer, Carrie Ann Inaba cries over a dance that touches her at her very core. Snooze. Fest. The number of viewers they got last week makes me sad for America’s taste in TV.

2) Lead star in Lone Star James Wolk = a hottie with a body. Yeah I said it. I shouldn’t have to extrapolate here on why you should watch, but I will. Hot man. No shirt. Cute side smile. Enough said. I mean if you’re going to drool over The Situation on DWTS who is a total butterface, why not change the channel for a man who’s got the whole package?

3) This show holds promise. Every critic says it’s great. The pilot demonstrated promise; the characters and storyline just need a chance to build. Sorta like Mad Men, the once unknown AMC show. Or like that econ teacher who SUCKED ASS the first week and is now the best teacher you’ve ever encountered. Give it a chance. We are all so used to reality shows where crazy sh*t happens in the first 5 minutes of every show that we forget what its like to have a storyline build week after week.

4) Everyone loves an underdog. Remember Arrested Development? Family Guy? Cory and Topanga in our ’90s bracket? Shows that were cancelled and then brought back? Let’s do it again! (Minus that whole cancelled part.) Don’t you want to say you were a part of the “Stunning Upset” that helped bring back some quality programming to television?

5) Bristol and The Situation will eventually (read: soon) get the boot and then what are you going to watch? The old lady from Dirty Dancing? Yeah right.

Lone Star airs tonight on Fox (and hopefully every Monday night after) at 9/8 central.

If fantasy football is a good enough reason for guys to disappear for days on end, then I hereby give you permission to set aside the textbooks and turn off your cell phone for what is going to be the greatest (and most stressful) week of TV all year. It seems like every. freaking. show. on TV is premiering this week. Not sure how you’re going to fit it all in??

Brace yourselves, I’m about to outline the next five days’ worth of what to watch, what to TiVo, and what to skip altogether.  Oh, and all new shows are linked to their previews so you can decide for yourself!

Good luck. And thank god for Hulu.

Monday, September 20

8:00

Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
Is it even possible not to watch this season’s train wreck assembly of contestants foxtrot their way to faux-fame?  TiVo so you can skip the commercials!
House (Fox)
Chuck (NBC)
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
If you’re like me and have been going through Barney Stinson withdrawal through the whole, long summer then be sure to watch HIMYM live.

8:30

Rules of Engagement (CBS)

9:00

Lone Star (Fox) New Show (and uber hottie) Alert!
The Event (NBC) New Show Alert!
Looks like this is going to be the new trendy conspiracy show of the season.  Watch it live so you’re up on all the plot twists in case everyone’s talking about this one come Tuesday.
Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Charlie Sheen, go home.  Skip this one, in the name of wife-beaters everywhere!

9:30

Mike & Molly (CBS) New Show Alert!

10:00

Castle (ABC)
Chase (NBC) New Show Alert!
If you like cop dramas and girl power, hit record on this new show featuring a badass assortment of U.S. Marshals…and Jesse Metcalfe.
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS) New Show Alert!

Tuesday, September 21

8:00

Glee (Fox)
If you don’t watch this one live, I can’t even speak to you.  Grab a big bowl of popcorn and get ready to sing your heart out.  Glee’s back!!
The Biggest Loser (NBC)
NCIS (CBS)

9:00

Raising Hope (Fox) New Show Alert!
There’s a cute baby, so isn’t that an instant reason to TiVo?
NCIS: Los Angeles (CBS)

9:30

Running Wilde (Fox) New Show Alert!
Since I love Keri Russell, I want to like this show.  But it looks a little stupid.  Set to record and watch it when you’re bored/hungover.

10:00

Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC) New Show Alert!
It’s about time for a cop show outside of NY/Miami/LA. And who needs cops more than Detroit? This is the perfect option to fill the void left by the original Law and Order. <Moment of silence>

Wednesday, September 22

8:00

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox)
The Middle (ABC)
Undercovers (NBC) New Show Alert!
Seemingly normal couple revert back to their previous lifestyle as undercover agents.  They then coin the term “sexspionage”.  Eh, I’d watch it.

8:30

Better With You (ABC) New Show Alert!
TiVo because the mom from That 70s Show has finally found a new home on TV!

9:00

Law & Order: SVU (NBC)
Criminal Minds (CBS)
Modern Family (ABC)
Yes, yes, yes.  I know, it’s brilliant and funny.  Watch it live for sure.

9:30

Cougar Town (ABC)
Totally underrated. Yeah, I said it. Plus, Jennifer Aniston is guest starring. Record it for those mid-afternoon breaks when the only thing on TV is old episodes of Gilmore Girls…which you’ve already seen 3 times.

10:00

The Whole Truth (ABC) New Show Alert!
The Defenders (CBS) New Show Alert!

Thursday, September 23

8:00

My Generation (ABC) New Show Alert!
This one looks like it could either be really great or really horrible.  Set it to record and make up your mind later.
Bones (Fox)
Community (NBC)
It’s baaaaack!  One to watch live, for sure.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

8:30

30 Rock (NBC)
S#*! My Dad Says (CBS) New Show Alert!
I for one am totally dying to know what kind of S#*! is going to go down on this sure-to-be-hysterical show.  If you loved the original Twitter account of the same name, this is one to record.

9:00

Fringe (Fox)
Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
With last season’s crazy finale, do you really want to take your chances on the TiVo malfunctioning and not watch the new Grey’s live?  Or worse, saving it for later and having it all ruined for you by your status-happy girlfriend? Get real.
The Office (NBC)
CSI (CBS)

9:30

Outsourced (NBC) New Show Alert!

10:00

Private Practice (ABC)
The Mentalist (CBS)

Friday, September 24

8:00

Smallville (CW)
Medium (CBS)

9:00

The Good Guys (Fox)
Supernatural (CW)
Dateline (NBC)
CSI: NY (CBS)

10:00

20/20 (ABC)
Blue Bloods (CBS) New Show Alert!
Tom Selleck, for the win.  If you’ve got nothing else to do than marvel at a glorious mustache and take in yet another cop drama, then by all means.  But really, I’d advise just leaving a little earlier for the frat parties.  Nothing you need to see here.

Looks more like “Dancing with the D-Listers.”

Do “functional drinks” work?

Make your own multi-strand chain necklace. Awesome.

Lindsay wants her career back, people!

Hate your job? Here are 8 reasons to quit.

A few tips for thrifting.

Looks like dancing isn’t in Kate Gosselin’s future.

Nothing says ‘love’ like matching outfits.

How does George Lopez really feel about Conan?

More heartbreaking Sandra Bullock updates.

3 essential summertime bottoms and how to wear them.

Check out what’s next for Sue Sylvester on Glee!

Justin Bieber is way cooler than those Disney stars.

Kara DioGuardi lets it all hang out.

5 fun ways to embrace the braid.

Damn! Lea Michele looks hot at the Glee premiere!

Tom’s Shoes are getting mighty cute this season.

What’s with all the DWTS drama?!

Kate Gosselin has gone through a whirlwind over the last year: Cheating rumors, a nasty divorce, a public PR campaign to get her story out there … and now, ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ The mother of eight shook her stuff on the ‘DWTS’ dance floor for the first time last night, and her performance was enough to make one judge jump to her defense after some less-than-kind words from another.

Watch It (and cringe) Here.

It’s comforting to know we live in an age where no investment bank, car company or celebrity hot mess will ever be left behind.

In the era of government bailouts and cross-aisle calls for economic revival ABC’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’ has become the public relations equivalent of a Fed bailout.

“Just when you think you’ve hit rock bottom – there’s a rescue plan. If you’re AIG, it’s the federal government. If you’re Pamela Anderson or Shannon Doherty, it’s ‘Dancing With The Stars,” says Catey Hill, New York Daily News Money Editor and author of ‘Shoo Jimmy Choo: The Modern Girl’s Guide to Spending Less and Saving More.’

After his stint on the third season of ‘DWTS, Mario Lopez was able to secure his regular gig as the host of entertainment news show ‘Extra’, a sexy guest starring role in ‘Nip/Tuck’ and a spot on Broadway in ‘A Chorus Line.’ In 2007, former Spice Girl Mel B.’s biggest project was tattooing baby daddy Eddie Murphy’s name on her arm, actress Jennie Garth (pre-90210 Renaissance) was reliving her days back at West Beverly (in her mind) and Marie Osmond was designing dolls for QVC, but now the women are household names, pursued for projects, endorsements and book deals.

Just as AIG bungled it’s books with insurance against mortgage backed securities and risky debt, and the investment banks faced a black-hole of balance sheet indiscretions, many of the stars saved by ‘DWTS’ carry with them years of mismanagement, bad decisions, weight gain and dreams of superstardom flushed down the toilet sometime in the past decade.

Read the rest at PopEater.com!

Looks like I don’t have a chance, after all.

Hm. Maybe I should start watching Dancing With The Stars…

And the color of the year is….

Chris Brown is angry, people.

Metallic makeup 101.

An end to paparazzi photos?

Bikini waxes cause more than a little pain.

Amy Winehouse’s parents are (obviously) worried.

This gives new meaning to party in the back…

Uh, Weird Al is back? And he’s still funny!

The Hills causes eating disorders.