The only reason I hesitate to proclaim LL’s career completely dead is because comebacks are so big these days. She could land herself a E! series, or maybe even some giant Barbara Walters special where she cries. There’s a chance Lindsay could rise again.

But just in case she doesn’t, Hollywood had better start looking for new big-boobed starlets.

A New York Times article (yup, even the grand old NYT is digging through Tinseltown garbage these days…) claims now that Lindsay has been arrested twice, she’s basically uninsuriable. And when you’re uninsuriable in Hollywood, everything fades to black.

If a production company can’t be sure a star will show up for work or stay out of jail, it’s unlikely she’ll be hired. One missed day can mean hundreds of thousands of dollars down the drain, and almost no actress is worth that kind of anxiety. Combine Lindsay’s unpredictable behavior with her less-than-stellar film record, and you’ve got a girl who can be (and most likely already has been) replaced.

Poor Things, a small independent film (that was supposed to begin shooting shortly) in which LiLo had only a supporting role, was recently plagued by rumors of an early demise after Lindsay’s first rehab stint. Since the starlet was arrested a second time, the movie’s producer claims the film is “moving on” – supposedly without the troubled star. Read More »

It’s finally happened. Orange Oprah has proved she’s a money hungry moron.

Any other mother might decide to lie low after her famous daughter gets out of 45 days of drug treatment. Any other mother would see her daughter’s rehab stint as a cry for help, a cry for a guiding light, a teacher, a mature friend, and decide to spend some quality time giving her flesh and blood what she desperately needs.

Not Dina Lohan. Dina Lohan is a different kind of mom.

Hours after her daughter spent her first post-rehab days partying in Las Vegas (smart Lindsay. Very smart), DL let it be known that she’s working on a show with the E! television network. No one’s completely sure what it’s going to be about yet, but chances are it will suck. Read More »

Day thirteen at this cracked out music television internship and I can’t seem to find a mode of normalcy. I’d like to think of myself as a fairly spontaneous adventure-seeking type. The every day conundrum, mundane schedules and habitual routine I follow during the school year tends to make me delirious and in need of a strong drink at 10 am (no, not coffee), but this was just insane.

All week I’d been running around Manhattan delivering costume jewelry or picking up edited music video reels, though some days staying in the office and making phone calls and writing e-mails (Not to James Franco, but to his agent’s agent). Needless to say, I was starting to crave a more conventional daily grind.

Today I was scheduled to help with a wardrobe fitting. Figuring I’d be pinning blouses to mannequins in some broke down warehouse. I wasn’t that bothered when my alarm didn’t go off and I was forced to shower quickly, neglecting my usual primping and hair straightening ritual. I’m Persian, and not one of those blessed Persians with the silky dark hair. I got the fro. The frizzy kind.

Rushed to make it to work on time, (Pierre, my very talented and very flamboyant boss would undoubtedly stick me with phone duty if I was even a minute late), I figured I could just pull it back in a wet bun and hide it under a hat from wardrobe. Read More »

I was really hoping we’d all forget about Paris Hilton.

Really. After her trail / jail fiasco was recorded on every news station in America (even CNN covered it…although every time they did the anchors looked uncomfortable), I honestly thought the overexposure was going to be enough to make us finally not care about what Paris Hilton does, says, or cries about.

But just like the time I bought those designer jeans that didn’t quite fit and convinced myself I’d lose the weight—I was wrong.

Not only has Paris been interviewed via telephone by E! (Right. She’s not getting special treatment. Just conducting a major interview with a major television channel while she sits in jail…) she’s also in talks to appear on a primetime NBC show as soon as she’s released. And how much will the boring blond get for the trying ordeal of appearing on a nationally syndicated TV show? $1 million dollars.

“You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it” Paris whined to Ryan Seacrest on his E! show on Thursday. “Frankly [I'm] sick of it and I want to use my fame in a good way.” Read More »

“Victoria’s every move is documented by the paparazzi, but only our cameras have been allowed inside the world of what being Victoria Beckham is really like.”

Such is the advertising campaign for a new reality special set to air on NBC in mid-July. Victoria Beckham: Coming to America will air Monday, July 16, and center on the Beckham’s move from England to Los Angeles, California.

Now is the part where you ask me if I care.

And I tell you stoutly and resolutely that I couldn’t care less.

Like Katy, I am completely and utterly confused by Victoria Beckham—but I’m also confused as to why any of us bother with her. The chick was once in a pop group that was big for three seconds, after which she married an English superstar soccer player. Media coverage should probably have ended there—at least in America, where soccer isn’t as popular as it is abroad—but for some reason it has gone on, and on, and on.

Is anyone concerned about those three girly dudes from Hanson? What about the two other chicks from Destiny’s Child? No. Nobody gives a shit. Paparazzi aren’t staking out the doorstep of Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees (you don’t even know who that is, right? Me either. But he was in the group. I looked it up). Read More »