Okay, picture this:

Your crush just called and said he/she would like to come over and hang out, and, for reasons unknown or maybe because life hates you, you blurted out, “Great! I was just making dinner!”

So now you have 15 minutes to make a tasty full-blown meal that will impress your crush–but without looking like you tried too hard. F*ck the mac ‘n’ cheese; make parmesan tilapia!

Parmesan Tilapia

serves 2

Stuffs Yous Needs:

2 filets of tilapia, 1/4 pound each

2 tbsp of parmesan cheese

1 1/2 tsp of lemon juice

1 tbsp of softened butter

1/8 tsp of basil (dried)

2 1/4 tsp of mayonnaise

1/8 tsp of black pepper (ground)

1/8 tsp of salt

1/8 tsp of onion powder Read More »

Got 10 minutes? Got 13 bucks? Got frickin’ tastebuds?!

Then, boy, have I got the dessert for you.

Seriously. It’s called Mint Chip Pie and the only downside (the ONLY downside) is how retardedly addictive it is.

So take ten minutes and make this delicious summer dessert. It’s about 5 servings, so invite some friends over…or don’t and have lots of leftovers. Your choice. I won’t tell.

And now, without further ado, I give you:

Mint Chip Pie Read More »

Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean I am averse to putting alcoholic substances in the foods I eat. Surely one of the best French dishes on Earth is coq au vin, made with tender chicken and savory mushrooms and the most wonderful red wine sauce ever…But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. If you’re thinking that coq au vin sounds like the perfect thing to make for a romantic dinner, you’re right. If you want to make it the authentic French way, though, you might be marinating chicken and letting spices simmer and flavors develop for literally hours—if not days—on end. Trust me, you can get results that are very nearly as good just by using your slow cooker.

If you don’t have a slow cooker, I seriously recommend leaving the room this instant and going directly to a place where you can buy one. They’re inexpensive and they will save you loads of time on busy days (or any kind of days, really). Unbelievably amazing casseroles, soups, stews, and meat so tender that it falls off the bone all become everyday realities with the help of your friend the slow cooker. I have even heard about slow cookers making fantastic cobblers and cookies.

Moving on from the sales pitch, let’s get back to the coq au vin. To make enough for you and your special beau, you need: Read More »

I am not a vegetarian, but I really don’t care much for meat. I will eat chicken or ground beef a few times a week, but honestly, it doesn’t bother me if I go all veggie, all the time for a while.

Lately, it’s been so freaking hot where I live (hello, summer) that I don’t even want to turn on the stove for 30 seconds, let alone the oven. Remembering an awesome avocado and egg sandwich that I once had at a New York City deli, I devised this AMAZING veggie wrap.

You need: one wrap tortilla, half a fresh avocado, half a small tomato, one hard-boiled egg, one carrot, a couple tablespoons of cheese (type is up to you), a tiny bit of Miracle Whip, a tiny bit of pesto sauce, a tiny bit of honey mustard, and sprinkles of salt and pepper. Read More »

Mmmmmm. If you like regular tomatoes, I personally guarantee that you will REALLY like baked tomatoes. If you’ve never tried them before, you are seriously missing out.

For one person, one small- to medium-sized tomato is plenty. You’ll also need some basil (fresh or dried), salt, pepper, a bit of olive oil, and a couple of tablespoons of parmesan cheese.

Cut out the hard upper center of the tomato and then cut the tomato either lengthwise or widthwise into slices that are between ¼” and ½” thick. Preheat the oven to 400, then arrange the tomato slices at the bottom of an 8”x8” square pan. Sprinkle them with a dash of salt, a little pepper, and some basil (fresh is best) to taste. Drizzle the tomatoes with the olive oil, and top them with the parmesan cheese.

Then pop those suckers in the oven and bake them for about 15 minutes. You’ll probably drool when you take them out, so be prepared!

Fruit and meat together? Sounds a bit scary, I know, but trust me! Melon wrapped in prosciutto (an Italian cured ham) is a classic dish that tastes delicious.

It’s a super easy recipe, and perfect if you want to throw a swanky dinner or cocktail party for friends. You only need a few ingredients, a package of toothpicks and a plate. See? Told you it was easy…

Ingredients:

1 Cantaloupe or other sweet melon

1 Package of prosciutto

1 tablespoon of olive oil

Salt and Pepper to taste

If you’re serving this as an appetizer, cut the melon into slices. If you’re serving it as finger food at a cocktail party, cut the melon into bite-sized chunks. The prosciutto should come already sliced paper-thin. Wrap a full strip of it around the melon slices, or trim the meat down to better wrap around the bite-sized melon pieces. Stick in toothpicks to keep the meat in place, drizzle with olive oil, and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Done and done. Now you’ve got a fancy appetizer, and loads of time left over for drink-making!