Warning! Before you watch this video, make sure your medicine cabinet is fully stocked with mind soap. Because you’re going to need it after  you watch this charming video of 4-year-old advertising her booty. And no it’s not a home video shot by her parents. It’s a performance she does on The Talk (the poor man’s The View) wearing a truly inspiring outfit. It’s not every parent who can spot a miniature top hat and turn it into something I threw up last weekend.

Secret santas and fruit cake — two simple holidays staples I consider pretty innocent and wholesome. But in last night’s episode of Nip/Tuck, they were anything but. Santa’s secrecy reached a new level and that cake had some serious scandal baked inside.

Let’s begin with the love triangle.

Julia, Christian and Sean were seemingly adorable with their litte secret santa tradition. But beyond who’s buying what for who (like it’s hard to figure out with 3 people), Julia and Christian were secretly falling in love, leaving poor, mid-life crisis Sean out in the cold.

I couldn’t believe it took him so long to figure things out. But I guess it was quite appropriate for him to realize the truth once they revealed their gifts to each other. Merry Christmas Sean. Although it seemed like he was willing to accept the circumstances, I doubt Sean will give Christian his blessing.

Side note: Was this episode all about Julia or what? Not only were two guys practically fighting over her, but Eden was out to get her with her homemade fruit cake.

Honestly, what in God’s name was this about? Read More »

I’d like to begin this week’s Nip/Tuck thought session with a few quotes:

“I don’t date guys with gray pubes.” (Thank you Eden.)

“Make love to me Christian; take care of me.” (Make up your mind already Julia — men or women?)

Both lady’s comments made me wonder two things: (1) Are older men less capable of having casual sex? (2) Do all women really want to be taken care of/feel safe?

The Eden/Sean thing was inevitable even though I’d always thought he was too good a guy to do an 18 year-old. However, I was surprised to learn that he wanted more than just a physical relationship with Eden. After resisting her for so long, wouldn’t he want it to be more of a “wham, bam, thank ya m’am” kinda situation? Read More »

Not only is reality tv dominating networks worldwide, but now it’s also inching it’s way into actual tv shows — i.e. our dear Nip/Tuck.

Although I must admit last night’s episode was a nice switch up from the status quo with the “Plastic Fantastic” title and theme song (that was hilarious), I doubt I’d ever feel as much love for the show if it continued that way. The drama was just too forced and completely exaggerated. It had never been more apparent to me that reality tv thrives on creating conflict even if there may or may not have been any to begin with.

I mean, we have Olivia and Liz making a love connection, Christian spilling the beans to Julia, Julia flipping out at the two lesbos and begging the cameras not to capture her emotional breakdown, while Eden races in after escaping from rehab and finally gets Sean to kiss her and Christian plays the guy who just wants to “help out.” It was total madness, well more than usual anyway.

It would of been way over the top if Kimber and Matt stormed in crying that their baby is addicted to crystal meth. Read More »

Addiction. I felt like that was a pretty big theme in last night’s episode. No?

First we had the trainwrecks, Matt and Kimber living in a dump with their newborn baby, who might as well be smoking crystal meth too. Not to mention their brush with gay porn to make money to feed their habit, but I’ll get into that later.

Anyway, let the dissecting begin.

I am dying to know what will happen to Matt and Kimber’s baby. That poor thing may just cry itself to death. But I guess they aren’t completely terrible parents. I mean, they did bring her to the daycare center at the porn production studio. Um, seriously?

Since we’re on the topic of porn, Matt getting into the gay porn biz, is kind of hilarious. If I remember correctly, doesn’t he like to do guys? He may not have gone through with it this time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he might consider it again since Kimber is now doing their drug dealer.

Now, on to Miss Eden. This bitch deserved to have her ass handed to her by Christian. Yes, he is so unbelievably shady and manipulative, but I really couldn’t help but adore him at this very moment. I never saw it coming. However, I have no doubt that Eden will return with some god awful scheme to get back at him.

Oh so exciting! Read More »

There are a few things I could’ve done without in last night’s Nip/Tuck episode:

a) A guest appearance by Rosie O’Donnell. Gross.

b) Marshmallow fluff. Gross.

c) The ass bandit story line. Where in god’s name did the producers come up with this one? (However, Liz’s comment about “digitally dittling” the victims was pretty damn funny.)

Anyway, on to the good stuff…eating disorders.

As someone who very recently wrote a blog about “thinspiration,” I was especially intrigued by the role it played last night. Naughty Eden has introduced poor MacNamara’s daughter to the trials and tribulations of being a young girl who’s overly concerned with her weight. Not only does Annie ask Dr. Mac for lipo because her ass is too big (???), but she gets coached by Eden on “ana” and “mia” not to mention which “thinspiration” websites she visits so that she gets thinspired to skinny.

She even goes as far as making Annie practice purging. Good lord this was so f-ed up! Aside from the fact that this is only a TV show, it’s no wonder so many young girls are developing eating disorders with the kind of influence that’s out there. Read More »