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5 ways to survive horror movies and high school

One of these Elle covers is not like the other

Why in God’s name would anyone keep Kate around instead of Cologne? (I’m still getting over this) All she does is complain and act like a baby about everything. Wah Wah Wah. I felt a glimmer of hope last night that maybe she’d leave voluntarily — cue the scene where she cried to her mommy on the phone.

But no.

Just like a little puppy who’s been slapped by it’s master, she forgets about the abuse and goes back for more. Honestly, since all of these reality shows aren’t really reality shows, they’re probably keeping the whiner on air because she creates so much drama. Everyone absolutely hates her — probably including everyone watching.

Aside for my personal feelings on baby Kate, last night’s episode was notable for a few reasons.

1. Anne saying, “I could run with the bulls in these shoes.”

Honey, there is no way in hell you can even walk like a pro in those let alone run in them. Stop trying to be Anna Wintour.

2. Megan complaining (surprise) about her team for the editorial challenge, “I want to pull out my hair, lay on the floor and die.”

I guess I might want to do that if I was her. But just because I can’t stand Kate and well, Ashlie isn’t really rubbing me the right way these days either. I mean, ever since her heavy weeping for Cologne’s departure, I’ve been a bit disgusted.

3. The headless mannequins being dragged around Manhattan in a box. Hilarious

4. Danielle flipping out on Kate. That. Was. AMAZING.

Quiet, chill Danielle has been calm and collected all along, so it was pretty satisfying to see her lose it a bit. Naturally someone can only tolerate Kate for so long.

5. The judges really putting Megan in her place last night. THANK YOU.

In the end, I wasn’t upset to see Devin or William go. They really didn’t bring much to the table. However, now were left with a bunch of crazies, minus Danielle. I would say Johanna’s a normal one, but from the looks of next week’s episode, she’s a bit of a lune too.

We all look to magazines for our fashion sense and know-how, but what if we can’t afford all those styles in Elle and on the runway? College Candy understands your pain (because we also like to split our budget between cocktails and clothes) and we want to help you get the fabulous looks at a fraction of the price.

This winter jeweled clutches are all the rage. After Sex and the City, Fendi has become way more popular, but who can REALLY afford a small clutch for more than a grand? Here is cheaper version…on the left is the Fendi, on the right is a La Regale from Macy’s for a mere $39.00. Read More »

I think every little girl one day dreams of being a fashion magazine editor. The glamour, the celebrity and the image that comes along with it is pretty damn appealing. Not to mention, writing and editing pieces on designers, beautiful clothes, shoes, bags … for some of us it would be a dream-come-true.

And then that little girl watched the season premier of Stylista last night and her dream was shattered. Caddy bitches, huge egos, image scrutinization, drama, drama and more drama — this all defines the fashion industry. A thick skin (and a pair of skinny jeans) is what you’ll need to survive.

Now as someone who isn’t really into the fashion thang, I found last night’s show ridiculous and comical.

First thought, “Who the hell names their child Cologne?”

Second thought, “Ew, Megan’s a bitch.” Keep in mind, this stance was established within the first 3 minutes and grew to, “Ew, I hate Megan AND Dyshaun.” (I think I’ll refer to these two awful people as the “Bitch Twins” from this point forward because somehow they fell in love with each other’s down right nasty personalities.)

Third thought, “Anne Slowey walks funny in her shoes. Shouldn’t fashion editors be high-heel masters? I know I am.” Read More »

Ahh, J. Lo.  When will you learn? Don’t ever, ever agree to talk to reporters when you’re exhausted, four months post-pregnancy (with twins no less!) and totally hormonal.

A recent, unpublished interview with singer/actress/MILF Jennifer Lopez has surfaced on the Internet leaving all of us to wonder if America’s favorite Latina queen is tumbling from her pedestal.

Drugs?! Scientology detox gone wrong? Unfit to be a mother? Celeb reporter Kevin Sessums got the scoop for Elle, only to be told his story would never see the light of day. Fortunately for the rest of the free world, Sessums took matters into his own hands.

Read more after the jump.

Read More »

So last week was truly the end of our television season, and off we go into the doldrums of summer programming. But first, let’s look back at the wonderful ways our favorite shows wrapped up.

Gossip Girl: I’m proud of the writers of this show for making some sort of reasonable denouement to the ridiculous things they put their characters through this season: Georgina got conveniently sent off to a reform school, everyone broke up, and they not-so-subtly planted the seeds for new couples.

I spent the hour deciding who I would rather want to be: Blair or Vanessa. Once Blair got on the plane with a smoking hot corporate flacky, my doubts were crushed.

How I Met Your Mother: Was anyone else a little disappointed by this episode? I mean, come on people, it’s the season finale, and I laughed out loud maybe twice. Proposal blah blah blah, car accident, whatever. The only thing that made me happy was Barney’s epiphany in full body cast. Robin and Barney as a couple would be the best combination ever.

American Idol: Some guy named David Cook won. Good for him. I didn’t watch a minute of this season, other than the clips of Andrew Lloyd Webber creepily coaching the male contestants. Read More »

The girls over at Jezebel have a well documented hatred of Lucky Magazine.

Among the accusations are that the magazine’s editors could really use a thesaurus (the words ‘elegant‘, ‘gorgeous‘ and ‘sophisticated‘ appear 8, 9 and 12 times respectively in January’s issue), that they insist on adding -y to the end of pretty much any word (retro-y really just means the same thing as retro, ladies…), and my own personal favorite, the abuse of the ‘_____ just screams _______ construction, i.e. “This little sun dress just screams French Riviera in June!”

Does it? Does it actually scream? I don’t want a screaming sun dress.

I think Jezebel is totally on-target here. The magazine is poorly written and shamelessly devoted to convincing women with average incomes to spend their hard-earned cash on overpriced items they don’t actually need. I t’s the embodiment of our consumer-driven culture–no love advice or human interest stories here, just pages and pages of things. Shiny pretty things with big big price tags.

So why do I love it so much? Read More »

Since no one will want to admit this, I’ll take one for the team and come out with it. I may have, on occasion, perused a dating self-help book. If you’ve ever found yourself “accidentally” wandering into the relationship section of your local Borders, chances are you’ve found yourself picking up one of two kinds of dating self-help books: the “how to find Mr.Right/trick him into staying with you” genre, or, perhaps even a few months after you picked up the first book, the “how to get over him” guidebook.

Some of us, however, have a different problem—one that not too many dating books address. How to chase a guy away for good. Lucky for those of us dating losers, Elle advice columnist E. Jean Carroll devotes a chapter to this dilemma in her book, Mr. Right, Right Now!

You can read the list of 79 tips on iVillage. Most are funny, but some have me a little worried and confused. Like these:

Rarely wear high heels to bed.

Um, are there women out there who regularly wear heels to bed that are ruining it for the rest of us? Can I substitute flats?

Make him watch the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

The Notebook is OK though, right? (Kidding!…Except not.) Read More »

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that excessive wrist-wear is the hottest thing next to Paris Hilton hitting the slammer. Well maybe not that hot, but you get it.

Thick black and white bangles with printed designer logos to thin multi-color cuffs are populating everyone’s forearms these days. I love it. I mean, yes, the constant jingle, jangle is pretty annoying after a while, but no simple mini-dress or safari-esque outfit looks complete without ‘em.

My latest obsession really is the black Chanel bangle with the white logo coupled with a few other heavy black and white bracelets. (I noticed the combo in the “Green Issue” of Elle magazine on Christina Ricci and decided I NEEDED the look.)

Then again, a wrist-full of color is awesome too. So in an attempt to get both looks, cuffs/bangles – multi/black and white, I’ve found some super affordable alternatives to the pricey designer versions. Thank you Urban Outfitters and Forever21. Read More »

In a surprise move, it’s trendy to look like skeletor. I can’t say that I’m terribly thrilled or shocked about this recent turn of events. With voluminous spring fashions, the hot part of your body to show off is your clavicle. The clavic-what? It’s that bone between your collarbones, prominent on super-skinny celebs like Kate Bosworth and Kiera Knightly.

Even though everyone and their mom is obsessed with thinness, it’s definitely a strange part of the body to be stressing about. I mean, it’s just a little bone. The real appeal of showing this bit off is that it proves that under your billowy new dress, you’re skinny little thing. “The clothing threatens to make you look overweight and so you need a certain body to undo that threat,” said an expert on women and beauty, “In that clothing, one has to find a way of revealing an authentically thin body.” How delightfully twisted. Read More »