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Why in God’s name would anyone keep Kate around instead of Cologne? (I’m still getting over this) All she does is complain and act like a baby about everything. Wah Wah Wah. I felt a glimmer of hope last night that maybe she’d leave voluntarily — cue the scene where she cried to her mommy on the phone.

But no.

Just like a little puppy who’s been slapped by it’s master, she forgets about the abuse and goes back for more. Honestly, since all of these reality shows aren’t really reality shows, they’re probably keeping the whiner on air because she creates so much drama. Everyone absolutely hates her — probably including everyone watching.

Aside for my personal feelings on baby Kate, last night’s episode was notable for a few reasons.

1. Anne saying, “I could run with the bulls in these shoes.”

Honey, there is no way in hell you can even walk like a pro in those let alone run in them. Stop trying to be Anna Wintour.

2. Megan complaining (surprise) about her team for the editorial challenge, “I want to pull out my hair, lay on the floor and die.”

I guess I might want to do that if I was her. But just because I can’t stand Kate and well, Ashlie isn’t really rubbing me the right way these days either. I mean, ever since her heavy weeping for Cologne’s departure, I’ve been a bit disgusted.

3. The headless mannequins being dragged around Manhattan in a box. Hilarious

4. Danielle flipping out on Kate. That. Was. AMAZING.

Quiet, chill Danielle has been calm and collected all along, so it was pretty satisfying to see her lose it a bit. Naturally someone can only tolerate Kate for so long.

5. The judges really putting Megan in her place last night. THANK YOU.

In the end, I wasn’t upset to see Devin or William go. They really didn’t bring much to the table. However, now were left with a bunch of crazies, minus Danielle. I would say Johanna’s a normal one, but from the looks of next week’s episode, she’s a bit of a lune too.

We all look to magazines for our fashion sense and know-how, but what if we can’t afford all those styles in Elle and on the runway? College Candy understands your pain (because we also like to split our budget between cocktails and clothes) and we want to help you get the fabulous looks at a fraction of the price.

This winter jeweled clutches are all the rage. After Sex and the City, Fendi has become way more popular, but who can REALLY afford a small clutch for more than a grand? Here is cheaper version…on the left is the Fendi, on the right is a La Regale from Macy’s for a mere $39.00.

Knee length dresses that clinch your waist are hot for the upcoming chilly season . The Zac Posen dress on the left can be found at Nordstrom for a measly $1,900, while the Converse dress, on the right can be found, at Target for $34.99. You choose.

Anything with an angle is awesome, according to Elle, whether it is jewelry or shoes. Here are two shoes that are 90 degrees of hotness. The pink pair on the left are Christian Dior wedges priced at $925. But you can get a totally angular pair from Forever 21 for just $27.80. Careful how you walk in those things!

To complete your look you must have a the perfect accessory. Chunky jewelry, bangles, and pieces that make a statement are what’s in this season. The left necklace is from Neiman Marcus and would set you back $175. Or, you could choose the equally adorable peace necklace from Urban Outfitters for $18. I’m going for the cheaper one, for sure!

And then that little girl watched the season premier of Stylista last night and her dream was shattered. Caddy bitches, huge egos, image scrutinization, drama, drama and more drama — this all defines the fashion industry. A thick skin (and a pair of skinny jeans) is what you’ll need to survive.

Now as someone who isn’t really into the fashion thang, I found last night’s show ridiculous and comical.

First thought, “Who the hell names their child Cologne?”

Second thought, “Ew, Megan’s a bitch.” Keep in mind, this stance was established within the first 3 minutes and grew to, “Ew, I hate Megan AND Dyshaun.” (I think I’ll refer to these two awful people as the “Bitch Twins” from this point forward because somehow they fell in love with each other’s down right nasty personalities.)

Third thought, “Anne Slowey walks funny in her shoes. Shouldn’t fashion editors be high-heel masters? I know I am.”

Then we experience the first challenge: Make Anne Breakfast and Don’t F It Up. (Yes, Megan, you will be serving her coffee and anything else she wants.) The utter fear on each of the contestants faces AND (best part) the genuine shaking of trays could’ve been the most entertaining bit of the episode. And that’s not really saying much.

Basically, sorry to say it cause I heart the CW network, this show sucks. However, what will keep bringing me back is that fact that I’m rooting for the “big-boned” girl. (Hey, I’m trying to be politically correct.) What can I say? I felt bad for her and how she didn’t really fit in. Oh, and Kate needs to stop whining so god-damn much. She is way too nice to make it in this competition. I predict she’ll be the next fly to drop unless she “loses herself” first.

Did you guys like this show? Feel free to contest me.

A recent, unpublished interview with singer/actress/MILF Jennifer Lopez has surfaced on the Internet leaving all of us to wonder if America’s favorite Latina queen is tumbling from her pedestal.

Drugs?! Scientology detox gone wrong? Unfit to be a mother? Celeb reporter Kevin Sessums got the scoop for Elle, only to be told his story would never see the light of day. Fortunately for the rest of the free world, Sessums took matters into his own hands.

Read more after the jump.

Unwashed! Unbrushed! Glassy eyed with a “a halo of frizz” around her head!

Why did Elle magazine refuse to run an accurate (if unflattering) interview with the diva? Here’s the deal.

Four months after giving birth to her twins (Max David and Emme Guadalupe) Elle sent celeb reporter Kevin Sessums to interview J. Lo for their October issue. They pitched the story as a fashion discussion about new moms who “do it all.” Out of the spotlight for several months, J. Lo’s handlers thought it would be the perfect opportunity for the diva to dish about training for a triathlon, motherhood and her plethora of upcoming projects. And naturally, an air-brush enhanced photo shoot would be the ideal way for Lopez to flaunt her slammin’ post-baby figure.

When Sessums arrived at Lopez’s Long Island estate to do the interview, he immediately felt he’d “caught the family on a bad day.” Jenny from the Block was under the weather, understandably feeling less than fierce and fabulous. 3am feeding sessions with two screaming bundles of terror? Severe post C-section pain? Yeah, you’d feel like sh*t too.

Nevertheless, Sessums and J. Lo had jobs to do (him: get the story, her: give a reasonably believable version of the truth). Ever the professionals, the two sat down and went to work.  What resulted was nothing more than an over-tired new mom rambling to a willing ear.

Sample quote: “At the tenth day after giving birth all that chemical stuff did peak—that hormone thing—and I did cry a lot that day because I was having so much trouble moving. I couldn’t get up fast enough to feed the babies…Marc was helping out a lot and I was crying and crying and going, ‘Oh, Papi…they’re going to know everybody more than me…They’re going to love everybody more than me!’”

Of course, as J. Lo rambled on, Sessums realized he’d hit the jackpot. He got lil’ J to open up about everything from breast feeding (she didn’t), to the money her and hubby Marc Anthony earned from selling pictures of the twins, to the nervous breakdown she suffered after filming Enough.

The resulting article that Sessums delivered back to Elle painted a very real, human picture of Jennifer Lopez. Like everyone else on the planet, she’s had big highs and low lows. She desperately wants to be a good mom, and (like so many other ambitious, driven women) she wants to continue her successful career. It would have been a smash for Elle – a celebrity story that all of their readers could relate to.

Why then did the mag kill the piece and send another reporter out to Long Island to re-interview the star? Elle claims the story simply got “too personal.” It’s unclear whether J. Lo herself decided she’d said too much or if the Lopez handlers simply panicked over Sessums’ depictions.

What is clear is that Sessums said F-YOU to Elle and handed his story over to Tina Brown’s new gossip outlet, Daily Beast. A ballsy move on his part given that Elle and probably every other major fashion magazine will never hire him again.

Read the full interview here and make a decision for yourself.  If you ask me, Jenny from the Block looks pretty damn good.

Gossip Girl: I’m proud of the writers of this show for making some sort of reasonable denouement to the ridiculous things they put their characters through this season: Georgina got conveniently sent off to a reform school, everyone broke up, and they not-so-subtly planted the seeds for new couples.

I spent the hour deciding who I would rather want to be: Blair or Vanessa. Once Blair got on the plane with a smoking hot corporate flacky, my doubts were crushed.

How I Met Your Mother: Was anyone else a little disappointed by this episode? I mean, come on people, it’s the season finale, and I laughed out loud maybe twice. Proposal blah blah blah, car accident, whatever. The only thing that made me happy was Barney’s epiphany in full body cast. Robin and Barney as a couple would be the best combination ever.

American Idol: Some guy named David Cook won. Good for him. I didn’t watch a minute of this season, other than the clips of Andrew Lloyd Webber creepily coaching the male contestants.

So You Think You Can Dance: I’m so glad my favorite summer show has taken the void left after The Office ended. However, the audition episodes are my least favorite part of the whole thing. The only person that really wowed me last night was this guy. HOLY CRAP. Is he even human?

Ugly Betty: Another season finale. Jeez. Once again, not super impressed. I think I’m going to stop watching this show soon, it’s just getting repetitive and boring. I loved the Naomi Campbell jabs though, and the gayest softball game ever. Wonder if those people actually worked at Elle? Or maybe I just want the sad people in publishing to get their fifteen minutes of glory.

Grey’s Anatomy: Sometimes I think Grey’s Anatomy is ridiculous and over-dramatic and tedious. However, last night I was mollified into watching by a friend. And while the concrete storyline was SO far-fetched, I cried like a little baby when those two teenagers were saying goodbye to each other. That was some good writing right there.

Thoughts about last week’s season finales? Leave ‘em below. And stay tuned next week for a preview of the summer TV schedule.

Among the accusations are that the magazine’s editors could really use a thesaurus (the words ‘elegant‘, ‘gorgeous‘ and ‘sophisticated‘ appear 8, 9 and 12 times respectively in January’s issue), that they insist on adding -y to the end of pretty much any word (retro-y really just means the same thing as retro, ladies…), and my own personal favorite, the abuse of the ‘_____ just screams _______ construction, i.e. “This little sun dress just screams French Riviera in June!”

Does it? Does it actually scream? I don’t want a screaming sun dress.

I think Jezebel is totally on-target here. The magazine is poorly written and shamelessly devoted to convincing women with average incomes to spend their hard-earned cash on overpriced items they don’t actually need. I t’s the embodiment of our consumer-driven culture–no love advice or human interest stories here, just pages and pages of things. Shiny pretty things with big big price tags.

So why do I love it so much?

Since the magazine began, I have shelled out my hard-earned cash ($2.99 per issue) to flip through their pages and gawk at $385 toggle sweaters or $3,295 “menswearish” watches. Can I afford a $3,295 watch? Obviously, no. But now I will be on the lookout for a cheap mens watch next time I’m at my local thrift store.

There’s also something refreshingly honest about a magazine that bills itself as “the magazine about shopping and style“. Flip through any issue of Glamour or Elle and look closely: almost every page is trying to sell you something. Lucky cuts the crap and tells you “here are some pretty things, you probably want to buy them”.

If you’re smart, you don’t have to go out and purchase that exact item (thus blowing your entire week’s paycheck on one pair of shoes), but instead you can use the magazine like your own personal stylist, taking inspiration from the combinations they put together and getting your own version, custom-tailored to your budget. I’m sure some of you out there have a little extra cash to spend at that exclusive boutique, some of us love our chain stores, and some may spend hours scouring the local second-hand bins.

So there you have it. My name is Sarah, and I’m addicted to the gorgeous, sophisticated and totally consumer-y Lucky Magazine. Although maybe I’ll buy the editors a thesaurus for Christmas.

Some of us, however, have a different problem—one that not too many dating books address. How to chase a guy away for good. Lucky for those of us dating losers, Elle advice columnist E. Jean Carroll devotes a chapter to this dilemma in her book, Mr. Right, Right Now!

You can read the list of 79 tips on iVillage. Most are funny, but some have me a little worried and confused. Like these:

Rarely wear high heels to bed.

Um, are there women out there who regularly wear heels to bed that are ruining it for the rest of us? Can I substitute flats?

Make him watch the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

The Notebook is OK though, right? (Kidding!…Except not.)

Don’t mince words. If he asks, reply, “Why, yes, dear, now that I look at it, your penis is the smallest I’ve ever seen in my life.”

In my defense, I did this one AFTER we broke up.

Do you own an old pair of baggy maroon sweatpants? Wear them.

I’ll take off the baggy sweatpants when he takes off the ratty boxers.

Giggle at his receding hairline.

I giggle because it’s cute. Really!

Drink too much at a party and vomit on his shoes.

…I’m beginning to understand why I’m single.

I’m aware these tips are written somewhat in jest, but I can’t help but be a little horrified that my friends and I have all been guilty of some of the things on the list. Am I the only one? Let’s hear it, ladies!

Thick black and white bangles with printed designer logos to thin multi-color cuffs are populating everyone’s forearms these days. I love it. I mean, yes, the constant jingle, jangle is pretty annoying after a while, but no simple mini-dress or safari-esque outfit looks complete without ‘em.

My latest obsession really is the black Chanel bangle with the white logo coupled with a few other heavy black and white bracelets. (I noticed the combo in the “Green Issue” of Elle magazine on Christina Ricci and decided I NEEDED the look.)

Then again, a wrist-full of color is awesome too. So in an attempt to get both looks, cuffs/bangles – multi/black and white, I’ve found some super affordable alternatives to the pricey designer versions. Thank you Urban Outfitters and Forever21.

Safari Bracelet $18

Enameld Bangles$16

Rhinestone Cuff $6.80

Wood Look Bangle $3.60

Moroccan Bangles $16

Enamel Cuff $9.99

In a surprise move, it’s trendy to look like skeletor. I can’t say that I’m terribly thrilled or shocked about this recent turn of events. With voluminous spring fashions, the hot part of your body to show off is your clavicle. The clavic-what? It’s that bone between your collarbones, prominent on super-skinny celebs like Kate Bosworth and Kiera Knightly.

Even though everyone and their mom is obsessed with thinness, it’s definitely a strange part of the body to be stressing about. I mean, it’s just a little bone. The real appeal of showing this bit off is that it proves that under your billowy new dress, you’re skinny little thing. “The clothing threatens to make you look overweight and so you need a certain body to undo that threat,” said an expert on women and beauty, “In that clothing, one has to find a way of revealing an authentically thin body.” How delightfully twisted.

Although the look has gotten popular recently, Rachel Zoe, the famous spindly stylist, has always tried to emphasize the area with deep V-neck tops on such skeletal clients like Nicole Richie. I suppose if you’ve taken the trouble to starve yourself down to nothing, you probably want to show off your bones and make everyone else uncomfortable and a little queasy. Two thumbs up for making bones cool Rachel!

The author of “Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body,” said that many of the girls she interviewed for her book, “talked about how far their collarbone stuck out,” with pride, as proof of how skinny they were. For a lot of girls, getting that chic bony frame is like getting into Harvard or something.

Awesome… As if our generation isn’t screwed up enough already without having the clavicle being the new “in body part”. I mean, most of us are completely nuts about our weight already. About 10% of college women already have eating disorders. I don’t want to be another voice blaming the fashion industry, but isn’t this a little too blatant?

When I was reading about this in the New York Times style section during lunch today, I literally went a little nutso. I was eating delicious Vietnamese take-out (shrimp with hot pepper sauce over lemon grass and vermicelli) and I literally spent the next 30 minutes googling Vietnamese food to figure out how many calories I just ate and then I slipped into the bathroom to see how my clavicle shaped up to the clavicles of the cool kids on the pages of Elle. Son of a bitch. Needless to say, my lunch was completely ruined.

I miss the days of the super supermodels—Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum, Naomi Campbell (even though she’s a huge bitch apparently). Now all the models look like sad manual laborers, complete with frowns and dark circles—nothing super about that. Sigh… The second people start having surgeries to enhance their clavicle, is the second I’m moving to a country that isn’t full of complete wack-jobs.