You guessed it… American Idol.

From the very first season, American Idol was an instant hit.  Kelly Clarkson was the winner, and albums later, she is still a pop sensation.  By the start of season 2, Randy, Paula, and Simon became household names and it was impossible to escape references to these eccentric judges.   Each season the show attracted more and more viewers and had record breaking numbers of votes at each finale.  The economy may suck, the weather is more unpredictable than ever, but the one thing we could always count on as a society was the stability of American Idol.  We knew that no matter what, every Tuesday and Wednesday night, we could tune into FOX to hear Randy give shot-outs to his “dawgs” while Paula applauded each contestant for being unique and “making the song their own.”  And finally, we knew Simon would always be there to knock them right back down in his English accent with a black t-shirt from Baby Gap.

That is… until last season, when things started to change.  A fourth judge? America was reluctant.  Kara Dioguardi climbed on board as America was forced to accept the adjustment.  She was cute and seemed to know what she was talking about, so we gave her the OK.  As long as we still had the Simon and Ryan rivalry to look forward to, one extra judge would not cramp our Idol style. 

Little did we know, even BIGGER changes for this season.  Goodbye to Paula?? Now who are we going to accuse of doing random drugs before (and maybe during) the show?? It was almost more than we could handle.  And then FOX announced that Ellen DeGeneres would be replacing her.  Personally, I was torn.  Ellen is hilarious, that is for sure…but Cold Hearted Snake and Forever Your Girl will ALWAYS be on my iTunes top 25 most played songs; there’s just no replacing Paula.  Putting my own love for the scat cat aside, I accepted the change once again.  After all, Simon, Randy, and Kara would still be able to offer legitimate criticism from the music industry’s stand point, Ellen would just be there for entertainment value.  Even if FOX were just trying to get some rating points, you can’t help but love Ellen.

But then.
Oh God.
I can’t even bear to say it.

Simon announced he was leaving.

And to make matters worse, rumors are now swirling that HOWARD STERN could be taking his place.

[Breathe.]

I don’t even know what to say. This is just taking things too far.  Sorry (well, sorta) to knock the Stern, but what the hell does he know about music and producing it? Probably…nothing.  Sure he may be a radio host, but that does not mean he is qualified for the coveted job.  Especially since the guy hasn’t played music on his show in decades. Besides, no one wants to hear crude and belittling comments if they’re not done in an English accent. Or have nothing to do with music and focus on the singer’s tits and ass instead.

If the rumors are true, I’ve lost whatever faith I had in FOX. It seems that they’re willing to do anything just to boost their ratings, even if it jeopardizes the integrity of the show. (One of the only reality shows left with any…) FOX is making it clear that Idol is all about the ratings and not about the talent, and if that’s the case, why should we watch?

Well, besides to see Kara and Howie duke it out.

Waaaaah (Snooki voice). It seems our once trusted source for music’s newest breakthrough stars might soon fall through the trashy TV cracks and land right next to the ever-so-classy “Temptation Island.” As a long-time Idol addict, I won’t stand for it.

After months of speculation, Ellen DeGeneres will finally have the chance to prove herself worthy of the seat between ‘American Idol’ judges Kara, Randy and Simon. Tuesday night marks her much anticipated ‘Idol’ debut, replacing former judge Paula Abdul.

The addition of DeGeneres to the gang is expected to boost viewership, which has been down compared to previous seasons, Reuters reports. Fox is hoping these viewers will stick around for the rest of the season.

“Ellen brings a huge fan base and people will be curious to see how she does,” said Michael Slezak of Entertainment Weekly. “But if she performs poorly, that is bad for the show’s long-term health.”

‘Idol’ viewership peaked in 2006, with about 30.8 million per episode. So far, the ninth season has only reached 26.8 million, according to Fox.

While many people have criticized DeGeneres for her lack of experience in the music industry, she believes this could work to her advantage, as she represents the average viewer.

What do you think? Read the rest at Popeater.com!

Over the past eight years American Idol has been bringing the country’s undiscovered talent (and um…this) into our living rooms via our 50 inch flat screens (I wish).  There’s nothing like watching Randy, Simon and Paula whittle down thousands of hopefuls into 12 finalists who will spend weeks singin’ their little hearts out for us, while we feverishly grab our phones at the end of the show to cast our vote for the hottest guy best performer.

This season, our beloved Idol is facing some changes. Sweet little Paula Abdul is being replaced by comedian Ellen Degeneres, and (gasp) SIMON IS LEAVING!?!?!?!? Oh wait. He’s not going anywhere yet. Phew. I’m not sure if I could handle so much change.

Anyways, now that I’ve regained my sanity (thanks to a delicious spoonful of PB), I’m holding out hope that the ninth season will be just as good as past ones, but there are definitely some things I’ll be missing about the old Idol.

Gonna Miss: Paula’s arm-waving-seated-dancing. And her questionable sobriety.
Excited For: Ellen’s signature dance moves. That woman can work it!

Gonna Miss: Paula’s sympathy.  After laughing my ass off at the absolute WORST singers (and dancers), deep down I felt a pang of sadness for them.  But she could find something positive to say to almost any Idol hopeful. Usually about their wardrobe choices.
Excited For: Posh Spice. Maybe she’ll bring her hubby along to the auditions?!

Gonna Miss: Sex scandals with the contestants.  Who can forget the rumors that Paula and cornrowed crooner Corey Clark indulged in a little backstage nookie?
Excited For: Well, there’s always hope for a new sex scandal, right?

Gonna Miss: The obvious sexual tension between Simon and Paula.
Excited For: Sexual tension between Randy and Simon? Randy and Kara? Kara and Ellen??

Gonna Miss: Paula’s accessories. I often wondered how Crazy Abdul could lift her arms, let alone do that weird open-palm clap thing she was so fond of.
Excited For: Randy’s jewelry. And Kara’s near-nipple-exposing tops. And Simon’s near-nipple exposing tops.

Gonna Miss: Trainwrecks of past seasons. I admit, I live for the first few weeks of Idol before they turn away all the crazies. “Scat Girl” gets me every time.  Not to mention that when I’m sitting on the couch, dateless and eating pints of Haagen Dazs, I like watching people who (I think) are even more pathetic.
Excited For: The new Idol! (and runner-up, because they always seem to get record deals, don’t they?) Will it be a guy or girl? Will they blossom into a superstar (hellooo, Carrie Underwood!), or a one-hit wonder (what ever happened to Ruben Studdard?)? Will they go on to perform at an award show and stuff some guy’s face into their crotch? Sigh. We’ll have to wait and see.

With all the changes coming this season, at least we can count on some things that won’t be going anywhere: Randy calling everyone “dawg” every five seconds, Simon getting booed, and, of course, Ryan Seacrest and his signature sendoff, “Seacrest, out!”

Don’t forget to set your DVRs! American Idol starts tonight at 8pm!

Wait. Hugh Hefner was married?!

Is that what they teach at Catholic colleges?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta put Ellen in the middle.

The best workout tool ever? We think so.

Simon Cowell is too good for The Beatles.

Who dares cross Tyra Banks!?

You know something’s a hit when verbs are being made out of it. Or when Oprah is doing it on live TV. Or when Anderson Cooper is begging people to follow CNN in order to beat Ashton Kutcher in the race to 1 MILLION followers (typed in Dr. Evil speak, obvi).

Much like Facebook took on its own verbiage (“I Facebooked him,” or, after every drunken photo op at the bar, you yell “tag it!”), Twitter is the newest pop culture obsession amongst celebs and mere mortals alike. With it came not only a new set of Internet jargon (“He Tweeted you WHAT?”), but yet another networking site for you to update and check incessantly in class…

Frankly, it all seems exhausting, but never one to be left out I joined the bandwagon and I’m Twittering away! (Follow me @mysocalled20s and our CollegeCandy page @collegecandy!)

It’s addicting. It’s entertaining. It’s even more proof – not like we really need it – that our generation is is all about narcissism and shameless self promotion.

And I love every second of it. (Almost as much as I love myself/looking at myself in the mirror.)

Apparently so do our favorite celebs. Maybe it’s because it’s a way to connect with fans without being shrieked at on the street. Maybe it’s because they can set the record straight without going through their b*itchy publicist who always responds with a “no comment.” But whatever the case, there is a plethora of celebs out there tweeting.

Some are hysterical, some are sharing what they eat, and some are just as pathetic on their Twitters as they seem to be in real life.

And all of them provide us with yet another reason to procrastinate that paper that’s due in – uh- 2 hours. So, here is a list of my favorite celebrities who Tweet. P.S. Can someone please remind me to thank @tinafey for reminding me about the existence of Carmello bars? Thanks.

1) Ryan Seacrest (@ryanseacrest)- Fact is, Ryan Seacrest is a Man 10 ways. He is always All. Over. The. Place. I mean, seriously, when does the guy sleep? But even with all that, he still manages to find time – like, um, I don’t know, during commercial breaks on the Idol set – to give us the behind the scenes scoop and respond back to fans and celebs alike. And we love having another way to have a little Ryan in our life.

2) Tina Fey (@tinafey) – While she doesn’t update often, when she does I swear a little pee comes out. That woman is fun-ny.

3) Oprah (@oprah) She is the newest to join the celebrity Twitterverse and it’s totes the real woman. We follow in hopes that one day she’ll give all her followers a free car. Enough said.

4) Ashton Kutchter (@aplusk) – Not only did he get 1 million followers before CNN, but he uses Twitter to do more than just talk about what color shirt he decided to wear at today’s photo shoot. He is getting the word out there for good causes and uses his voice to spread positivity, which is what the world really needs right now. Plus he’s funny. And I’d follow a funny man anywhere.

5) Heidi Montag (@heidimontag) – Just as annoying on Twitter, but something about using half of her 140 characters in exclamation points becomes slightly addicting: “life is so short and we get another day of life!!! celebrate!!!!! enjoy every moment of your day, have fun its your life u only get one!” Exclamation point count: 9.

6) Giuliana Rancic (@giulinanarancic) – I won’t lie, there have been times I’ve screamed at my TV: “Giuliana. Cookie. NOW.” (When I saw she wasn’t taking my advice I decided to eat it for her…) But take one look at her Twitter page and you can feel her down-to-earthness. She @replies to her fans who ask her questions about her clothes/job/workout regime etc- and she is honest. None of that “I eat like a pig- I eat whatever I want” This E! News chic Tweets at 4:30 am on her way to the gym. Talk about motivation.

7) Ellen Degeneres – She Tweets as funny as she speaks.

P.Diddy aka Ptwitty (@iamdiddy) – Twitter shows us a whole other side of the Did-ster that we never knew existed. And while he may be on Twitter overload at times (taking some exclamation point lessons from @heidimontag), he is spreading the positivity, and this chick right here is all about that.

9) Hugh Jackman (@RealHughJackman). I can’t even read his Tweets (and apparently he is trying to do good for charity!) because every time I try, I get distracted by his photo at the top…

10) Backstreet Boys (@backstreetboys) – We all know CollegeCandy’s love for the BSB and now their Twitter page brings us all even closer to them. If only they responded to our 245 @ messages a day. BSB, I LOVE YOU.

Now if only we could get Jason Segel to join this bad boy (oh and um, date me? I can crack a mean joke, Jason Segel!). Then I’d be set…

Follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/mysocalled20s. I promise I won’t tell you what I eat for lunch (sandwich!), what color my shoes are (black!), or how many bottles of water I drank today (does Diet Coke count?). And don’t forget to follow us at our College Candy page here!

Eating for beauty.

Totally adorable: Portia on The Ellen Show.

Perfect your first-date mojo.

Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox? No. freaking. way.

I wonder what Miss Jay thinks of this model’s walk…

The American Idol Final 4 are rigged.

Bad news for seniors. (Sorry, girls.)

Guy Ritchie totally traded up.

Stop dressing trendy. Dress agelessly!

Jennifer Lopez does West Side Story.

Hofstra University hearts CollegeCandy!

But what are the kinds of things that you would never want to find in your guy’s room? Besides the very obvious (unrecognizable panties, bras, earrings, condom wrappers) I can name a few…

1. Super Creepy Porn.

You can pretty much accept the fact that there will be some form of porn in your guy’s room at some point. You can also be fairly sure that you will accidentally intercept said pornography via mail, browser history or that shoebox under his bed. (Tip: boys don’t want you to surprise them with spring cleaning; you probably shouldn’t want to surprise them with it either.) No big deal, I say, come to terms with the fact that while your guy absolutely loves hooking up with you, he will still want to look at porn. It’s just a different outlet for their sexuality and can actually improve your sex life when seen from the right perspective. Additionally, it’s a good substitute for when your boyfriend wants to get it on (always) and you don’t (rarely, but it happens). If there were no porn there would be an abnormally high amount of blue balls or of extremely exhausted girlfriends.

All the benefits of porn aside, though, there are some types you don’t want to find. I’m not even talking about anal, little people or ridiculously oversized toys (all pretty normal in porn-world.) I’m talking animals. I’m talking leprechaun-on mermaid-on Easter bunny 3-ways. I’m talking about really flattering pictures of you superimposed over the faces of “interacting” nuns (definitely not real Catholics). Unless your man has previously shared his kink-tastic ways with you, skeevy porn is definitely something you do not want to find in your man’s room…unless you’re into it…

2. Bloody Clothes.

You’d think this would be a pretty huge red flag, but there are plenty of excuses as to why your man might have bloody clothes in his room. Perhaps he is an outdoorsman who enjoys slaughtering deer on weekends. Maybe he was building you a birdhouse and things went seriously wrong with the electrical sander. Or, for those of use with the more typical college boyfriend, he was drunk and tripped on/punched/tried to cartwheel over something and got hurt doing it. All of those reasons aside, should you find a duffel bag with a black turtleneck, jogging pants, ski mask and/or machete covered in blood, run for the hills, girl.

3. A Shrine-Like Gathering of Your Personal Items.

Remember Helga from “Hey! Arnold”? Yea, the crazy blonde who built a very realistic rendition of Arnold out of his used gum. Well you just found a creepily similar statue tucked behind your man’s winter coats. It’s a great complement to the ring of scented votives in a circle around the pair of panties you wore the first time you two hooked up (you knew they went missing…), a suspiciously your-hair-colored hairball, pictures of you undressing that look like they were taken from a distance and old love letters…to your ex-boyfriends, dating back to Aaron from 4th grade. I can’t see how this would be construed as flattering, so don’t even let that thought enter your head, ladies – Noah built Allie a house, not a shrine. Hint: if you find this in his closet, I’d start looking around for the bloody clothes, just to be sure…

4. His “Meds.”

If one day you are innocently on the hunt for some ibuprofen and you find his prescription for anti-psychosis meds, it’s probably not a great sign. If you continue to look for more pills that he neglected to tell you he was on and find a cocktail of Xanax, Percocets, Valtrex and Penicillin it’s definitely a bad sign. Either homeboy has some serious dirt to spill about his last few check-ups, or you might just be dating a drug dealer. Either way, not disclosing certain ailments he has (STD’s, mental disorders, the usual) is a serious breach of trust and needs to be dealt with right away. My suggestion is to call the cops on his RX-happy ass or, if you’re into illegal activity and desperately in need of Spring Break funds, swipe ‘em and ask your most trusted sketchy friend where a gal goes about selling these kinds of things.

5. His other phone.

We all know that going through a loved one’s phone is a huge invasion of privacy and can often end in a breakup (as opposed to going through a stranger’s phone that you found at Happy Hour before returning it to them, which can often end in hilarity.) But let’s say you’re just lounging around one morning that you skipped class, watching some Ellen while your honey picks up bagels for some breakfast in bed. You hear a strange humming, it’s not your phone, and you check his charger—nope, not his phone either. But this vibration is pretty persistent, almost as persistent as an ex-girlfriend trying to get in touch with your boyfriend…

With this hunch, you get up to investigate, put Ellen on mute, and walk around the room listening for the bzzzz. You slowly open his sock drawer, where a mysterious blue light is glowing from the dress sock section (ok he probably doesn’t have his socks categorized, but you get it). You pick up a phone that you’ve never seen before. Michelle Great Rack is calling. You answer, presumably to help this Michelle put her great rack to use with whoever this phone really belongs to, only to have her coo your boyfriend’s name in a very phone-sex inducing voice. After explaining to Michelle that she and her rack have been aiding a cheating lying scumbag, you sift through dirty texts, inappropriate pictures, and AIM conversations so smooth your soon to be ex could be in a shaving cream commercial. You forward a few choice messages to your guy’s “legit” phone before calling him and telling him what you found in his room.

What would make you run screaming from your man’s apartment? Have you ever found any of the above items? Did you stick around long enough to tell him why you won’t be sleeping over anymore?

Obama pushes for stimulus support.

Porn star for senator?

Chocolate dipped bacon? It does exist!

How are Wall Street guys supposed to live on $500K in NYC!?

Brad and Angie hit the town in London.

Ideas for losing that unhealthy belly fat.

Ellen and John Mayer perform a duet.

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson back together?

Drunk vision. What do you see?

Impulse buys are bad news for students.

I voted for Obama. Not because he was the hotter of the two candidates, but those pictures of him in a bathing suit didn’t hurt his cause. My love for Obama, however, runs deeper than simply his abilities to lead our country out of this current financial mess.

I think he’s hot. And if Michelle weren’t in the picture, I’d totally eff him.

He’s got everything I look for in a man. He’s smart (Harvard Law School grad), he’s a family man, he’s powerful, he can dance, he’s a great speaker, and he loves to play sports. He also happens to have some roots in the midwest, which just makes him a perfectly effable catch.

And he looks damn good in a suit.

Barack Obama has inspired people worldwide with his message of change and proved that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it.

Is it so bad that turns me on? And that while he may be a bit busy at the moment (dealing with the American Automaker crisis and nominating people like Rob Namors, Peter Orszag and Hillary Clinton to his cabinet) I still wouldn’t mind sneaking into his office for a little eff sesh between meetings?

What? His time management skills are just another reason I want to eff him.

They’re trooping off to the polls in the biting November chill, snug in their Uggs and North Faces zipped to the collars. They’re waking up too early and standing around in long lines for something that isn’t free food. They’re American college students, and they are voting.

Smell that? That’s the smell of freedom. Also, American college students don’t shower much.

Are you with them – or are you against them? Political nihilists beware: the jaded, “The-electoral-college-it’s-a-broken-system-f**k-I’m-moving-to-the-Moon” attitude won’t get you anywhere this year, because cynicism is out and passion is in! If it’s such a big stick up your ass, go vote for Bob Barr or something. If he’s not on the ballot, write-in “John from College Candy.” But please, do go and vote.

And what about this evening? You probably don’t have anything important to do while you watch poll results stream in, and “Nation’s First Black President” or “Nation’s First Woman Vice President” are both perfectly acceptable reasons to skip all your classes tomorrow. This means you should drink!

2008 United States Presidential Election Drinking Game

(As always, replace “chug” with “shot” if that’s how you roll.)

- Drink after you vote – you’ve earned it! (Not before, please.)

- Prepare red and blue drinks (Red – Sex on the Beach and… blue? I don’t know, straight Blue Curacao?) and drink from one or the other whenever a state gets called for the respective party.

- Chug every time a “swing state” (Florida, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Colorado, Georgia) turns into a blowout for one side or the other.

- Drink every time Obama looks sassy and classy at his Chicago gala. Chug if he repeats his dance performance from his appearance on Ellen DeGeneres.

- Drink every time McCain gives anyone a thumbs-up or winks; chug if both.

- Drink any time anyone on the T.V. says “Joe;” chug if Sarah Palin says it.

- Drink whenever Tina Fey pops onto the TV, not including “30 Rock” commercials.

- Drink every time McCain styles himself an “underdog.”

- Drink every time Obama uses spiritual, religious or otherwise goofy metaphor to describe himself, his campaign or his supporters (“a mighty wind is at our backs,” for example).

- Drink every time a McCain supporter walks into the room (You’re on a college campus, they’re rare creatures)

- If you are a McCain supporter, chug whenever you get depressed about the election, which probably means “whenever results come in.” It’s going to be a long night for you, I’m afraid. You’ll probably want to forget the pain.

- If you’re an Obama supporter, meanwhile, drink and high-five someone every time you feel “pumped.”

- If you didn’t vote today, your punishment is drinking malt liquor alone in your room, a**hole.

- Drink every time a report of voter suppression rolls in. Ideally, you’re also drunk enough to stand up and start an angry chant about your god-damn f**king rights.

- Drink every time one of the candidates’ attack lawyers gets ready to sue.

- Drink every time a saccharine T.V. reporter gushes about the enormous passion of youth voters this year.

- Drink whenever someone cites the “Bradley effect” – or racism in general, for that matter.

- Drink every time you can give everyone a smarmy grin and say “Oh, yeah, I read about this on the Internet.”

- Finally, chug when we elect a new President of the United States of America! It’s history in the making – who wants to remember something like that?