As I said last week, when I’m with my friends I tend to feel like the mom of the group; the one without the fun stories, the exciting crushes and the long drunken nights with friends. Well, I’ve recently discovered that there are some perks to being the momma of the group and the only girl in my group in a long term relationship.

I’ve become the one that everyone else comes to for advice or when they have an awkward relationship/sex questions.

Case in point: Last week I was at the gym with my friend who is one of the sweetest, most innocent girls you could meet. We were jogging around the track just doin’ our thing when she asked me if she could ask a bit of an embarrassing question. “Of course,” I huffed, not knowing what to expect. Especially knowing what came next.

“What’s giving a blow job like?”

I couldn’t believe one of my best friends, especially her, was asking me such a blunt question! On the track! But I realized that it took a lot for her to ask me that and that she must really value my opinion (considering I’ve never even heard her use that term before!), so I gave her the best description I could and answered all of her related questions. Quietly, of course, there were other people running around us.

Having a serious relationship has turned me into the go-to girl for my friends with relationship questions. They have told me that they know I’ve been through a lot and they value my advice. And I have to admit, giving out relationship advice is kind of fun! I like being the all-knowing sage and helping people who may not be where I am with Matt. It’s my unique way of contributing to the group when they’re all sharing stories and that I can no longer relate to. It makes me feel wanted and connected to a group that I sometimes worry I’m growing apart from. Read More »

Your boxes are unpacked, your bed is made, and your parents have left the building. You are officially a college student.

Woohoo! No more living under their rules. You are a free adult livin’ the dorm life.

It takes a few days of getting used to, but you’re finally feeling settled. You’ve even sorta mastered the cafeteria slop. This whole college thing isn’t so hard after all.

That is, until you need to do a little #2 in the public bathroom down the hall. The one every other girl on the hall also frequents to shower, wash up, dry her hair, and do her business. Girls you don’t know. Girls you want to befriend. Feeling the stage fright, you’ve been unable to go for days and, between the cafeteria salad bar (roughage!) and the frat party jungle juice, it’s been rather difficult.

But now it’s time and you have no choice but to suck it up, drop the pants, and take care of business. Read More »

A trip to the campus bookstore is an exercise in self-assurance. When you spot an intriguing book that you cannot wait to read cover to cover, you may or may not have the cajones to bring it up to the counter. Why, you ask? Hmm, maybe because its entitled The Going Down Guide: Tongue Tips and Oral Techniques for Men and Women!

Sure, it may be full of exclusive tips that you are dying to learn and try out on your man, but can you really muster the moxie to pay for it along with a bottle of water and box of pens?

“What if the cashier thinks I have an oral-fixation that I need to feed in between classes by learning how to properly fellate a fellow?” The embarrassment would be akin to buying the economy-size box of tampons at the grocery store while still in your PMS PJs.

But, now I wonder: what other hidden treasures can I find in the bookstore that I’m too scared to plunk down the cash for in public?

Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both
What it’s about: So, do you think that by hooking up you’re being sexually empowered and going after what you want for a change? Not so, says Laura Sessions Stepp. She “follows three groups of young women over the course of an academic year to discover what hooking up is all about. She attends class with them, parties with them, and listens to them talk about their sexual encounters – coming away with some enlightening and disturbing insights into sexuality.”

What it tells the cashier: I am sorta slutty and I want to know the repercussions.

Read More »

I watch reality TV like it’s my j-o-b. If there is an unscripted show on TV (or sorta unscripted, a la MTV), I’ll watch it. And DVR it. And talk about it at length with my friends like these people are our friends.

Yes, even “Groomer Has It.” I have a problem.

But would I ever be on a reality show? Hell to the no. As fun as potentially melting down in front of millions of people at home sounds, I’d much rather be the one on my couch – bowl of brownie batter in hand – than the one being cut, manipulated and edited into some freak show for America’s enjoyment. And there are way too many things that I do on a daily basis that I would never (ever, ever, ever) want caught on camera.

Like the fact that I make brownie batter and eat it without cooking it. With my fingers. Or the awful farts I get after eating too much brownie batter. (Seriously, I don’t even want to witness that….it’s really the last thing America needs to watch.)

This week I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share the things they do that they’d rather not have broadcast nationwide. Their secret alone moments. What are yours? Read More »

[One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. You stumble out of bed, grab your liquid of choice, and gather around the living room to replay (and remind yourself of) the events of last night. You laugh, you cringe and you share the highest of highs...and the rock-bottom lowest of lows. We thought we'd bring the fun of the recap to CollegeCandy, so grab that coffee and take part in the deliciously awkward moments your CC friends have to share.]

I will admit it, I’m an awkward girl.  I’ll say goodbye to someone and then walk in the same direction as them with a stupid grin on my face.  I’ve messed up high fives more times than should be legally allowed.  I’ve called my roommates good friend (whom I’ve known for months) “Tyler,” when his name is “Lucas”…HOW DO YOU MESS THAT UP?  I’m able to take a perfectly normal moment and transform it into a typical scene in any Wes Anderson film (it’s a gift). The trouble is, I don’t realize how incredibly dorky I must look until looking back, and slapping my forehead accordingly.

So by the rules of physics (which I am unsurprisingly sucky at) it would only make sense that I would take this persona I’ve been cursed blessed with and apply to almost every sexual encounter I’ve experienced.  Well, of course, the beginnings are more of learning experiences rather than “fun timez.”   Now let’s time travel back 7 years when it all began…

Cue the hazy flashbacks and dream-like sound effects. Read More »

We love our mothers unconditionally. No matter how angry we get at them or how embarrassed our mothers make us, we continue to be on their side. They can yell at us, criticize us or even spend over $15,000 on plastic surgery in attempt to look like our identical twin and we will still love ‘em anyway. Wait, that last one has never happened to you?

Okay, maybe your mother hasn’t gone to the extreme like Jane Cunliffe’s mom, Janet, who believes that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Sure, your mother hasn’t spent thousands of dollars to change her nose, lips, breasts, hair and clothes, only to be mistaken as your younger sister. That was a bad example, but I’m sure she’s done something embarrassing that you’ve forgiven her for.

Nothing comes to mind? Well, I have ten “I-could-kill-you-I’m-so-embarrassed” moments below. Let me refresh your memory for you. If I forgot anything, please leave it in the comments, I like to know I’m not alone.

Moms are embarrassing when they…

1. Drive you to school in their pajamas.

2. Dress like you.  Juicy sweatsuits and belly shirts aren’t PTA appropriate!

3. Pull a Dina Lohan and gets all stage-mom on you.

4. Flirt with your friend’s fathers. Or your friends…

5. Lecture or yell at your friends.

6. Still lick their thumbs to wipe something off your face. For the last time, its a freckle and I’m 22 years old!

7. Try to set you up with anything with a penis.

8. Make awkward sexual jokes.

9. Wear Mom jeans. Enough said.

10. Use words like “underpants” in public.

Beware, your mother is on now Facebook. You don’t believe me? Well, CNN has the proof. They are reporting that women over 55 are the fastest growing group on Facebook. That’s right, your mother is sending you a friend request at this very moment.

Maybe you’re part of that lucky minority who hasn’t received that email yet, the email that will crush your boundaries and make you curse the social network’s very existence. That may be true, but your mom may still be just a click away from invading your personal Facebook space.  Studies show that “there are now about 1.5 million female users older than 55 on the site — roughly a 550 percent increase over six months ago.”

Unfortunately, my mother is among this statistic. Read More »

Oh Sunday mornings. There’s nothing quite like stumbling out of a lofted dorm bed in last night’s stretched-out leggings, wayward bobby pins dangling from stringy bangs. You brush your teeth, rub the eyeliner crusties from your eyes and attempt to scrub off that not-so-fetching jungle juice stain on your chin. You’re still trying to get the mascara off your cheek when it hits you. Did you text him?

Toothbrush still tucked in your cheek, you fish your Blackberry out from under your pillow, detach it from the charger cord you expertly wove around your bedpost, and cringe. You definitely texted him. Twice. Okay, more than twice, but you essentially said the same thing every time, so it really only counts as twice right?

It’s tipsy texter’s remorse. Drunk dialing’s quieter, slyer little sister. Drunk texting is even more perilous, simply because your chosen target has a tangible message to remember you by the next morning. A tangible message that could very well be forwarded to all your mutual friends. And why stop there? Mutual or otherwise, they don’t have to know you to get a laugh out of your arbitrary capitalization and creative spelling.

And of course, no one ever just types out “hey giRll hye, i mis ur face!!!!@! mylife wud sukc witouh u!” Not even near incriminating enough. No, it’s always a text to that douche face ex-boyfriend you never really gave up on, or that dreamboat in your stats lecture whose number you covertly acquired under the pretense of a review session. And you always have a killer intro, like “jst so u know, i nevr do tihss,” or “HELLLLLLLLO! gues where I amm rhgit now?” or “i’m soooooio hppay u hireD me for the smmuer!” Read More »

Just because you’ve finally hooked up with someone, doesn’t mean anything has been solidified or any questions have been answered. In fact, the love sesh may have raised even more questions: was it good? Was it just a fling, or were there feelings involved? Is it going to happen again? Should you regret it? Does he regret it? Can you go back in time and pretend it never happened?

Depending on the relationship you had with the guy before the hook-up; the scenarios in which you’ll interact after the hook-up; and how much discussion you had before, during, and after the hook-up, the first “reunion” can be totally smooth, or completely cringe-worthy. And, for the record, the first reunion does not include your first words the morning after when both of you are still in bed…naked…and possiby still drunk.

How do you deal? If your first meeting with your last fling falls into one of the following categories, you need to work on your post-play approach.

1. The Awkward Aversion

You don’t know how he feels, and if it means avoiding rejection, you’re fine not knowing. You may respond to his presence by interrupting someone else’s conversation to avoid having to talk to him, fumbling with your phone to appear busy, or simply leaving the room. This will come off as either immature or disinterested. If he does like you and you blatantly ignore him, he’ll think you regret it. Unlike girls who want what they can’t have, guys are more likely to give up if you’ve bruised their ego. If you do like him, I suggest developing a different method. Read More »

Women’s social issues have been treated in programs geared towards teens for ages. Remember when DJ Tanner went on a crash diet so she could look good in a bathing suit, and then passed out on a stairclimber?

On Saved by the Bell, Elizabeth Berkley gained pre-Showgirls notoriety, for the famous Jessie Spano Caffeine Pill Breakdown (I’m so excited! I’m so scared!). Of course, Full House and SBTB were heart-warming sitcoms, where everyone learns their lesson in the end, and move away from their self-destructive behavior, never to mention anorexia, bullimia, or drug abuse ever again.

The breakout Canadian teen sensation, Degrassi, which airs in the US on The N network, covers a variety of teen issues, without the cavity-inducing sugary sweetness of the stuff we grew up on. Among the kids who dabble in drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, and bi-polar disorder, Degrassi introduced the world to Ellie Nash, who is a cutter.

I’m too old for Degrassi, but I don’t care. I’m pretty much obsessed with it. The best part about the show is that it doesn’t sweep the issues under the rug at the end of each 22-minute episode. And because the writers have the balls to “Go There.” I mean, come on: we all know the caffeine-pill incident was a stand-in for a harder drug, like speed or something, but hard drugs don’t exist at Bayside High.

I remember when the cutting craze swept my middle school. I have no idea who started it, or why it caught on, but at my school, cutting was the iPhone of the late 90’s. Read More »