I’ve always believed that change is a good thing. It can take you out of your comfort zone and introduce you to new people, new places, and new experiences that you would never have known otherwise. I’m all for change, really I am,  just not when that change removes me from my carefree lifestyle of afternoon classes, friends, parties, and little to no responsibilities.

Everyone says that college is the best four years of your life and now, with only a few short weeks left of it, it’s finally starting to sink in. I wake up in the morning (feeling like P. Diddy) without the sound of an alarm, go to a class or two, and just hang out all day with my friends. I do what I want, when I want, and besides a few participation points deducted from my grade when I’ve been too hungover/lazy to go to class, there’s been very few repercussions.

Sure, I’ve definitely had some stressful times in college, like when I pulled three all-nighters in a row so I could finish my final project or that time I forgot about a midterm exam. But in the grand scheme of things, college life has been awesome. Actually, awesome doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’m not sure there’s even a word. It’s been….rad?

But like all good things (i.e. Ugly Betty), it’s all about to end. And the mere thought is enough to make me sick. Seriously, I can feel my Easy Mac coming up as we speak.

Still jobless, this is the first time in my life that I don’t have a plan. And I’m a to-do-list kind of girl. I usually need some sort of goal or purpose or I start to feel antsy. But I literally have no idea what I will be doing after graduation. Part of me feels invigorated – I can do whatever I want! – but a bigger part of me is paralyzed with fear.

It doesn’t help that most of my friends have jobs already and, with that, a sense of security that I don’t have. They know where they will in August. They know what is coming and what to expect. They know their future addresses and perhaps even their route to and from work.  All I know is that my address will no longer be a Stanford one.

I like me some change (especially when I find it in an old jacket pocket), but this is just too much for me to handle.

Anyone else feel this way? Who is ready for the change?

“I don’t know if we should talk about this…”

“And why not? Everybody has sex!”

“Yeah, but everybody should be making love.”

“Come on, how many guys do you know making love?”

–Salt N Pepa, “Let’s Talk About Sex”

In the past six months, I’ve had sex. I’ve been laid. I f*cked. However, it’s been a long time since I’ve made love, and I kind of miss it. Some people might argue that there’s no difference – physically, they are the same. But emotionally, passionately, and mentally, the two deeds are very different.

1. The First Time.

The first time you make love with your partner, it’s usually a very special moment. It’s often planned out in advance, especially in new relationships. There’s often sensual foreplay, and your bodies fit together perfectly.

If it’s your first time with a new partner and you’re just having sex, it may be spontaneous. Your partner may not be your boyfriend, or even your crush, and the decision to go all the way is frequently a hormonal (thanks, booze!) impulse. First time sex can be sloppy and awkward as you try to find the right position, and after everything’s said and done, it feels like there was something missing.

2. Your BAC.

I’ve heard of drunken sex, but I’ve never heard of inebriated love-making. If anyone has experienced the urban legend of wasted love-making, I’d love to hear about it.

3. The Setting.

If you’re about to copulate in a dim room filled with candles, on a bed covered with rose petals, you’re probably going to make love. If you’re going to do it in the backseat of a car, an airplane bathroom, an elevator, or another compact space that may have legal repercussions attached, it’s sex.

Al fresco sex/love-making is a grey area. Sure, sex on the beach or in the woods may sound like a fairy tale scenario, but dirt in sand in uncomfortable places can ruin the romance.

4. The Soundtrack.

Lovemaking songs include “The Fear You Won’t Fall” by Joshua Radin or “Wild Horses” by the Rolling Stones (or any cover version, including Mazzy Star, Jewel, or the Sundays). F*cking songs range from “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry to “Every Girl” by Lil’ Wayne. Do you really want to ride someone when the words “You f— so good I’m on top of it” blare from the stereo? Likewise, “Birthday Sex” by Jeremih is a bit tacky.

Sure, there isn’t always music playing when you’re doing it, but if you could have picked a song to illustrate last night’s mood, which would you pick?

5. The Aftermath.

Lovemaking includes mutual orgasms, followed by spooning and cuddling. If you’re in a relationship, your boyfriend’s post-sex behavior could include promptly rolling over and falling asleep, or the phrase “That was great,” despite the fact that you didn’t get off. If you’re single, you’ll take the walk of shame after a long night of sex. In those rare occasions that you’ve made love to someone without commitment, it could turn into breakfast in the morning, a few more rounds, and maybe even a new relationship.

In my opinion (and experience), it’s far more common to have sex than to make love. However, this means that when you do find yourself both emotionally and physically stimulated with a partner you care for very deeply, you appreciate the art of lovemaking so much more than that one-night stand a few months ago with whatshisname.

Any other differences between “sex” and “making love”? Share your thoughts below!

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

From as early as I can remember, I have been told to smile more.  It’s not as if I skulked around family events and school functions all goth-like, it was just a reflex statement of my mother.  Now that I’m older, I can still hear my mother’s voice in my head whenever I’m at a social function (and that’s the only voice I hear in my head…I promise).  Apparently, there are reasons for smiling…more than just because your mom says so.

It’s Contagious – When you smile, people around you are more inclined to smile.  So that gorgeous French guy that sits next to you on the bus?  Try cracking a smile and see if it catches on.  French guy + smiling = excellent bus ride.

There Are Health Benefits – Numerous studies show that smiling can do amazing things for your body, like boost your immune system, lower your blood pressure, relieve stress, and release happy chemicals (among other things).

Things Seem Funnier – Expressions increase the intensity of emotions, so if you’re reading or listening to something amusing, try smiling.  Chances are that you’ll end up enjoying the joke (and the moment) more.  This also works the other way – if you’re sad or angry, take a breath and try on a smile.  Usually, you can’t smile and be upset at the same time.

You Become More Beautiful – Smiling people are attractive, plain and simple.  People are naturally attracted to those that seem happy, relaxed, and confident.  Nothing brings those traits across quite as effectively as a smile.  Hey, you paid for those teeth-whitening treatments and that kickin’ lip gloss – why not put them to good use?

You’ll Be Successful – Smiling more often increases dopamine, seratonin and other fun brain chemicals.  This leads to an increase in optimism and general happiness.  Those who are more optimistic end up being more successful – they have better jobs, they get married sooner (and participate in healthier relationships), and even live longer.  Sign me up!

[Photo (which totally makes me smile) courtesy of Milltitus on Flickr.]

Annoying drunk people…

1. Feel the need to scream, “Omigod! I’m soooo drunk!” It’s not an Olympic sport. You don’t get a medal if you blow a .20 at the end of the night.

2. Feel the need to deny their drunkenness. They fall into walls and slur “I’m totally fine!” and then reach for a bottle of Bud Lite, Jager, Windex, anything, to prove that they can handle even more.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by going with the flow and hanging out. No need to announce your current level of inxotication, or how sober you think you are.

Annoying drunk people…

3. Need to be the center of attention by screaming, dancing on tables, and giving other partygoers a general headache. “We’re going streaking!” is only funny when it’s Will Ferrell.

4. Can’t help but be the center of attention by getting over-emotional and crying. Extra annoying points when they lock themselves in bathrooms and demand consolation from their best friend for hours, thereby ruining the non-annoying best friend’s night.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by checking your emotional baggage at the door and not using alcohol to combat your life’s problems. Also, don’t use booze as an excuse to prove how wild and uninhibited you are. If you are headed down the attention-whore road, try parking yourself on one bar stool for a night and seeing how many people gravitate towards you.

Annoying drunk people…

5. Need to get laid. No matter what. They think they’re sexy when they whisper sweet nothings into a hottie’s ear, when in reality they are slobbering all over a stranger’s face. Gross. Once rejected, they will probably stumble around the party, trying again. And again. And again.

6. Will get laid. By anyone. And sometimes everyone. Annoying drunk sex-maniacs will leave their friends behind to go home with a stranger, or swap saliva and other bodily fluids with many people – sometimes even multiple partners in one night. This isn’t classy, or particularly safe.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by putting your friends first, and choosing your partners wisely. There’s nothing wrong with an alcohol-induced makeout sesh once in a while, but you deserve the best, and you should hold out for top shelf lovers!

Annoying drunk people…

7. Leave their morals in the bottom of a shot glass. They steal, vandalize, and start fights. You don’t want to be the person that isn’t invited to the party because your friends think you are a klepto, and you don’t want to be banned from the bar for cracking pool sticks over your head, or bitch-slapping your peers.

8. Puke. They will puke on the floor of the bar, in cars, in their beds, their roommates beds, and all over themselves. We all have bad nights, drink one too many, and get the spins, but if your friends feel like an invitation to accompany you to a party means signing up to be a hair-holder, your company is going to get old quick.

Avoid being an annoying drunk by knowing your limits, at least to some extent.

If more than one of these annoying drunken traits apply to you, you might want to rethink the boozing. It’s great to unwind and have a good time, but if Jack Daniels turns transforms you from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, you’re going to alienate your circle of drinking buddies. And you could be the person that the rest of us are pointing and laughing not with, but AT.

When a guy moves on before you do, it can be tempting to cry, throw things, or scream like a banshee, but none of those things will make your man come back to you. If you handle the situation like an adult, you will find yourself on a much smoother road to recovery, and you will maintain your dignity along the way.

1. Don’t Avoid the Situation

You go to a party, feeling single and ready to mingle, and then you see them, canoodling on the couch. Your first instinct might be to leave the party in tears and spend the rest of the weekend in bed, sobbing into your pillow. Likewise, if you and your ex shared a group of friends, you might try to avoid social situations where you might run into them. In either scenario, you’ll make getting over him even more difficult, because you’ll be missing out. Who knows? The party you fled might have been one of the greatest nights in your college career. Tough it out, and try to have a good time.

2. Do Feel Good About Yourself

If your breakup sends you spiraling into a depression that consists of sweatpants and hair that hasn’t been washed in four days, running into them will make you feel bad on so many levels. So you aren’t together any more — no reason to neglect your personal hygiene. So you don’t have a dinner date with him on Friday — doesn’t mean you can’t dress up in a fun, flirty number and hit the town. If you feel good about how you look, you’ll feel better emotionally. And you’ll feel great about running into them while you look absolutely fabulous. He might not know what he’s missing, but you sure do! Besides, looking and feeling good will send out signals to the pool of single men on campus, one of whom might be your next boyfriend.

3. Don’t Hate Her

Girls love to hate girls, especially girls they don’t know. Especially girls they don’t know who are dating the men they want. Be the bigger person. If you run into them on campus on the way to class, look her in the eye and say, “It’s nice to meet you.” If you and he share the same circle of friends, try to get to know her when you are all hanging out. You will impress your friends and your ex by handling the situation so maturely, and you might actually grow to like the girl. If you can see some of the good qualities in her that he sees, it will be easier for you to let him go, because you won’t be bitching about her to your girlfriends and asking, “How could he date her after me?”

4. Do Be Happy For Him

Being dumped is a hard blow to the ego. But we’re young right? Out of all of the relationships we have in college, only one (if any) is really going to last. Try to stay positive! If you see that he’s moved on, don’t take it personally. It was bound to happen for him, and it’s bound to happen for you, eventually. If you curse his newfound happiness, you’re going to stay miserable. However, if you try to be happy for him, you won’t waste as many precious moments brooding over his moving on, thus freeing yourself up for your own rebound.

5. Don’t Force Yourself to Look Happier Than He Is

If you know you’re going to run into them, you might want to appear as if you’re doing just fine without him. In fact, you want him to think you’re better off! If you are doing fine without him, or if you are better off, that’s fine, but you don’t have to go out of your way to convey that. Trying to show off or make him jealous won’t work. He probably won’t notice, he probably won’t get jealous, and you’ll look like a fool.

If you see them at a party, grabbing the guy pumping the keg and sticking your tongue down his throat won’t give your ex the same twinge of jealousy that you feel when you see him holding her hand. Realizing that will hurt even more. The bottom line is that if he’s moved on before you, you’re no longer his number one priority, and you have to accept that. You can do so with grace and dignity, or you can do so with rage and vengeance. Do you want to go down as the psycho ex, or the really cool girl he used to date?

[photo from www.asdfing.com]

It’s the start of a new week and already I feel haggard and exhausted. My moods are swinging like a particularly feisty pendulum and my breasts ache. It can only mean one thing: my good friend PMS is on the horizon.

The beginnings of some minor stomach cramps, an increased feeling of self-consciousness and a patience threshold shorter than my small toe surface like clockwork once a month, warning me of impending pain and the cycle of womanhood.

Thankfully I am not alone, basking in the dull glory of 90% of menstruating women who currently experience some form of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. There are at least a hundred symptoms, though women experience a mix of just a few. The most common include irritability, loss of confidence, poor concentration, crying for no particular reason and the infamous mood swings, as feared by boyfriends and spouses the world over.

I myself am prone to similar experiences as mentioned above, along with an unpleasant notion of feeling like a beached whale and wishing my bedroom were the sea and my bed the sand, so I could waddle on my belly to bask in comfort and perhaps make a few guessed interpretations of what I would consider to be whale groans.

Treating such a varied problem is a tricky business; it is difficult to differentiate the factors which stem from the stresses of every day life to those blown out of proportion by PMS. There are treatments available, though it is suggested to increase your intake of vitamin B6 and evening primrose oil before considering something more invasive.

I’m lucky in the sense that I know my body well. I know when my PMS is flaring up, hence I can control it to a limited extent (such as warning those around me of possible temper tantrums beforehand!). A balanced diet also helps, as does a regular influx of water into your system which helps keep you hydrated. Peppermint tea also works wonders, as does camomile. Exercise – though it may be the last thing you feel like doing – also helps clear your mind and offers a rush of natural endorphins.

Despite the hassle of PMS, the one positive thing I have found is that you can get away with murder. Literally. And in a way, that almost makes up for the stresses and strains of being a woman. Almost.

What symptoms do YOU suffer from? How do they affect your everyday life, and how well can you control it? Let us know.