When the Grammy nominations were released for this year, I was thrilled to see that Mumford and Sons were up for best new artist and best rock song for “Little Lion Man.” (Fingers crossed they’ll beat the Biebs!) I heard that song last year on the radio and I instantly loved it so much I ran (yes, ran) home to download their album, Sigh No More. And let me tell you, and every track is better than the last. So more than any other, this is one album I just had to share with you all.

About the Band: Mumford and Sons are a folk rock band from London consisting of Marcus Mumford, Ben Lovett, “Country” Wilson Marshall, and Ted Dwane. Sigh No More is their debut album, and they have been featured on multiple shows like Grey’s Anatomy, the short-lived Lone Star, and the UK Skins.

Top 3 Tracks:

Little Lion Man

The Cave

White Blank Page

Why You Should Listen to Them:
This is a band that has an incredible amount of heart. Every song on this album is full of raw emotion. And that makes sense, since the band is made up of a group of guys who are passionate about music, which definitely shows. I tend to listen to this when I have a long drive home at night and need to stay awake – it’s too hard to fall asleep when you’re belting out these songs! They also prove that banjos can totally have a place in popular music, so more power to them. Here’s hoping they walk away victorious from the Grammy’s this year!

Want more awesome iPod suggestions? You got it!

"She hung up without saying 'I love you.' Waaaah"

Remember those nights when you spent 5+ hours talking on the phone with your girlfriends about what your man friend was trying to tell you when he texted you, “Good Night” with a winky face? Well ladies, you’re not alone. A recent study has shown that men actually over-analyze and get more emotional about relationships than women do!

Yup, when we’re not looking or listening (usually because The Bachelorette is on…), our beaus are secretly going to their dude friends and discussing the ups and downs in their love lives.

I guess we’ve been wrong all along about the idea that men never talk about their feelings with their broskeez and how they don’t care about their relationships with their significant others. In actuality, it might be all they talk about when they’re alone! All those times they told us they were goin’ to “chill with the dudes,” our boyfriends were probably spooning, crying and spilling the beans about their feelings over a cup of tea and a biscotti.

We’ve been so wrong for so long. I imagine this is how things are really going down during bro time.

What They Told Us: “Grabbing some drinks at the bar to watch the game.”
What’s Really Going On: “She didn’t say I love you back, dude.” <Chugs beer.>

What They Told Us: “Gonna grab some pizza and watch the game at Steve’s.”
What’s Really Going On: “WTF does ‘Fine. Get pizza with your boys” mean? Should I go to her place? Should I call her? What if she’s mad at me?”

What They Told Us: “Going to play some basketball.”
What’s Really Going On: “Going to play some basketball to work out the frustration from those cryptic, one-word answers you’re always giving me.”

What They Told Us: “I’m going to see Avatar with Seth again”
What’s Really Going On: He’s really catching a movie with Seth….and Dylan and Thomas and Blake. They all gathered to help your man in his emergency crisis of what to get you for your 1 year anniversary. “It’s gotta be special.”

What They Told Us: “It’s Monday Night Football!”
What’s Really Going On: Okay, sure. Monday Night Football. But they’re also overanalyzing how you’re going to grab coffee with that old male friend of yours back from high school.

God, boys are such babies. If only they were more emotionally stable like us ladies. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go spend the next 3 hours reminding my friend that she deserves way better than that jerk who dumped her.

OK, they’re not making out, but they’re getting pretty damn close. In one example (true story) I witnessed a group of hockey guys actually doing body shots off of one another. Yes. Whipped cream and all.  Talk about a physically pursued bromance.  In other examples, I have been exposed to drunken snuggle fests (including fights for big spoon), long embraces, and the occasional butt slap.

Like dudes, whoa, save it for the locker room.

Was this some sort of sociological discovery? Were guys actually more intimate and emotional with one another than we had all thought? Was I going to be honored with some sort of Nobel Prize for my “research” in gender studies?

Hm, maybe not. While guys may hug it out from time to time, they’re still not sharing any sort of feelings. At all. In fact, two of the very same guy friends who have weekly Bro Dates built into their schedules were hooking up with the same girl at the same time and had no idea.

How could that be? Considering how much time they spend together, how could that never come up? What the hell are guys talking about?

Sports, apparently. In a recent article studying the difference between men’s and women’s friendships, Jeffrey Zaslow explains that while women’s friendships are face to face, “men’s friendships are side by side: We play golf. We go to football games.” (Editor’s Note: Read it! It’s really interesting!) Guys don’t talk about their feelings or their personal lives when they’re hanging out, they talk about whatever’s happening right then and there, be it a video game, a TV show or some really sick shot they just made on the golf course.

Is that weird? To us girls, yes. We’ll discuss our feelings wherever and whenever we get the chance. But, to be completely honest, it would be a whole lot weirder if, mid body shot, one burly boy looked at the other and said,  “Dude, this makes me feel really insecure.”

So I guess, despite all the spooning, guys’ and girls’ relationships really are quite different. No Nobel Prize for me, but at least I’ve got some good blackmail pics in case I ever need them.

But the same can be said for women. And I’m talking about more than landscaping.

There are some aspects of the manly lifestyle that we women should embrace. Mindsets and activities that will make us happier, healthier (well, mentally at least) ladies. So here are just a few ways that channeling our inner macho man can enhance our daily lives.

Boys night.
There has to be a reason why guys are always so relaxed, and why your boyfriend calls you after a guy’s night and doesn’t have aching arches and raccoon eyes. While we all love girl’s night out, and the stiletto dancing that comes with it, we could all use a more relaxing night once in a while. Get the girls together and head out to a bar, order a bucket of wings and some beers, and chat the night away. You might be surprised how much bonding (and relaxing) can be done in a big booth in the back of a dive bar.

Let em’ roll.
Things really get to us. When we hear that our friend commented on how ugly our dress was after we left, we give her the silent treatment for a week. When we get dumped, we hole up in our bed with a pint of ice cream and a box of tissues claiming we will never love again. Perhaps once in a while we should just let things roll off our backs like the male population. If they get dumped, they are out the next night on the prowl with the boys. And they could care less if Tony said their shirt was ugly; it’s just a shirt. Taking a cue from the guys: don’t sweat the small stuff.

Make him wait.
You text that guy you’re totally into from class and then spend the entire night checking your phone and justifying to your friends why he’s probably super busy and hasn’t had time to respond. Us girls are way too over eager – waiting more than ten minutes to answer him back is torture – but once in a while it might be a smart move to wait a day. Your heart skips a beat when you finally see a message in your inbox from him and, chances are, if you make him wait a couple days his heart will flutter too. Take a cue from the guys and make him sit by the phone waiting for your next call. Then – hook, line and sinker – you’ll be playing tonsil hockey by Friday.

Think with your genitals.
Women are emotional; it’s not our fault, it’s our genetic programming. But not everything has to be so complicated. Face it, you’re not going to marry the hookup from Saturday night’s party, so do as men do and enjoy it for what it is: a little physical pleasure. Even if you’re seriously dating someone, it doesn’t always have to be so serious. Drop the fight about him not calling last night and just invite him over for a quickie before class.

Just do it.
Men are impulsive. They’ll randomly go for a pizza at 4 am and they’ll drop their textbook to meet the guys for a beer. Many women, on the other hand, plan everything down to the minute. Of course we can’t meet a friend for some dinner in the caf. in 5 minutes – we’re studying from five to seven and then going to the gym. Take a heads up from the guys and drop what you’re doing once in a while. A little impulsivity makes life a lot more interesting and lot less stressful.

Last Thursday, I was craving a chicken caesar salad. I had half an hour before my lifeguarding shift started, and Sunset Groceries deli-fresh salad bar was calling my name.  I thought, “Hey, I’ll just run in, scoop up one of those pre-made containers with the Parmesan shavings already rationed out, and go to work.” At the time, it didn’t even register that I was rocking my navy blue one-piece, with GUARD embroidered across the chest. Waistband rolled Soffes? Why not, it’s not like I was going to see anyone worth impressing in the deli line. Thursday at 1:30 PM was prime time for soccer moms, not soccer players.

Weaving in and out of the deli displays, my salad search came up empty-handed. Lunchables, guacamole, pineapple chunks, but no grilled chicken-y goodness. I finished a few more unsuccessful laps before surrendering myself to the deli line. Maybe the salads were just so delicious that they hid them behind the counter, I reasoned, a treat for the persistent customers. Besides, I needed to get to work. There were lives to be guarded, flip flop tans to perfect.

“Number 96?”

I looked up. HOLY CRAP. I blinked. HOLY FREAKING HELLA CRAP. There, behind the deli counter, sporting a white apron and what appeared to be an ill-fitting hairnet, stood my Big Ex. The one I had not seen since our drawn-out, emotionally-draining, mentally-exhausting December break-up. 

“Hi. That’s me.”

At this point, all I wanted to do was put the world on pause and take my time to digest the situation. And maybe brush my hair. But I wasn’t Zack Morris so neither of those actions was an option; I didn’t have much choice but to power through. Besides, I had already come this far; I was not leaving without my salad… and a nice side of tips for surviving that first run in with the Big Ex.

1. Do Not Get Chatty
My first instinct in any awkward situation is to talk. Talk about anything. Just so it isn’t silent. Yet, while it took every ounce of strength in my body not to word vomit it up, it was worth it. Blurting “Hey, so this braid thing I started doing with my hair? It’s because my bangs are at this weird length and they don’t quite reach ponytails. But don’t worry, because Jennifer Aniston braids her hair too. Just so you know,” or ‘Wow this is weird, you’ve totally seen me naked. And now I’m not. I’m just standing here, you know, in the deli line, probably starring in some hidden camera made for TV guerilla style romantic comedy,” just doesn’t scream,  “Hey doucher, look what you’re missing!”

A simple “Hey, how are you? I didn’t expect to see you at Sunset Food’s deli line/Limited Too/the Medical Library/this Carrie Underwood concert” is enough.

2. Do Not Linger
When you’ve gone a long time without seeing someone who was once a constant fixture in your life, it’s almost instinctive to be curious. Finally, a chance to fill in everything you couldn’t uncover on Facebook! Do not stalk. If you think the temptation to accidentally run into him will be too strong, start purchasing your salads from Super Target (they give you more chicken, anyway). Be polite, be brief, and get out. Do not make excuses to spend an extended period of time with him, i.e. “Hey, so I think I might need pre-made salads for the entire water park staff. Want me to help you with the lettuce?” Not so much.

3. Exit on a Good Note
Bitterness is not pretty. It shows you still care enough about what he thinks to let it affect your happiness. Obviously, if you and your ex managed to split on good terms, then this won’t be an issue. But, since break-ups are rarely smooth and easy, I think it’s safe to assume that most people will have at least a little negativity. Resist the urge to say anything biting. Smile and wish him a good day, because you are confident and happy and better off. If by some chance your iPhone is programmed to play All American Rejects “Gives You Hell,” every time you get a text (my friend has hers set to this, and it makes me ten kinds of nervous) ignore it and glance around for the source, confused.

4. Call for Backup Once You Leave
As I half jogged, half sprinted from the check-out to my pick-up truck (don’t worry, I coolly and calmly left the deli with salad in hand, saving the inevitable WTF moment until I was safely out of sight) my first instinct was to call my best friend. Laura reassured me that I had come out on top, (swimsuit > hairnet) and convinced me not to stress. Text one of your girls just in case you need to vent, or simply wrap our head around what just happened.

5. Do Not Wallow. Sing.
No dwelling; he’s an ex for a reason. Instead, play a really good girl song in the car. I like Taylor Swift’s “A Place in This World,” and India Arie’s “I Choose.”  Leona Lewis’ “Better in Time,” is suitable, but if it’s gonna make you sad, skip it. If you wanna go with the classics, hit up “Wannabe” and “No Scrubs.” Sing along happily and enjoy the salads in life.

Ladies, I’m sure you’ll agree with me: one of the most important aspects in any serious relationship is the sex. There’s no denying the physical and emotional needs for it, so what happens when you’re not getting any?  I had never anticipated being in a sexless relationship, so it came as a shock when my guy had a confession: he valued love and intimacy over the physical act of sex.

Right.

Naturally, it was a blow to my self-esteem. Was it me? Was I not sexy enough? Did the thought of me naked make his manhood shrivel with disgust?

This is where the ever-important “honesty” came in. I expressed my self-doubt to him, and he explained how he’d come out of a really bad long-term relationship and he wanted commitment, not just wild nights. Being the amazing, understanding girlfriend I am (yeah right), I supported his needs for an emotional connection.

It drove me crazy. I had no idea how to handle this situation. We were ridiculously into each other… just not literally. And after a while, it started to suck. Again…not in the way I wanted. What’s a girl to do? Well, buy a battery-operated buddy, to start.

After a while, though, I realized maybe we were (gasp!) better off sex free! How could I ever think that? For one, we had no need to worry about condoms or me missing my period. And we were really enjoying one another in a way I had never really known before. I even began to think that maybe sex was overrated.

Yes, I too thought I was losing my mind.

But as we spent more and more time together – without all the physical stuff – I realized that this was the real thing. There are so many more important aspects to our relationship. We have 6-year age gap, so we’re learning how to manage a real relationship outside of college, which I’ve found to be harder than dating someone on campus. It also taught me that intimacy doesn’t come from sex, it comes from being happy with what you have.

Would I recommend a sexless relationship? They’re not for everybody. Am I happy? Absolutely. What about you? Have any of you been in sex-free relationships?

I knew most of that stemmed from my self-esteem issues and lack of sexual opportunity, but I didn’t care. Sex was serious, important and emotional; people should be waiting for that special someone to share it with, instead of just throwing it away on some random dude.

Then I met that special someone, developed that deep and emotional connection, and had sex. And as soon as it was over I thought to myself, “That’s it?” It’s not that it wasn’t good, it is just that the actual act of sex was so…technical. The heat, passion and feeling I was looking for was there, but it wasn’t any different than when we were just holding hands, kissing or spooning while watching a movie. I didn’t feel any different about him after the sex than I did before.

But I did feel differently about sex.

That night, and the many that followed, made me realize that for such a seemingly simple act sex is a very complicated thing. It can mean many things to many people, and, with each situation, many things to a single person. It isn’t always about love or passion. And it doesn’t have to be.

My sexual escapades have been about everything: love, power, affection, self esteem, pain, healing, guilt, passion, need, loneliness, fun, humor. I have had experiences that made me feel like crap and experiences that made me realize how witty, sexy and wonderful I really am. I have had sex to get over someone; sex to get back at someone; sex just for the great story I could tell the next day. I have had sex with someone I loved and sex with someone I just met.

Sex isn’t simply an act of love. Or an act of lust. It isn’t just one thing. It is an ever-changing act that is different for every one, every time. Whatever the reason at that moment, I love sex. Love it.

And I won’t judge you for doing the same.

I’m not sold on the idea of having a soulmate. And I’m not NOT sold on it, either. BUT, when a guy refers to me as his “soulmate”, am I out of line to think that he might well, you know, like me as more than a friend? Right. I totally agree. I would not be out of line to think that. So let me tell you a story.

Not all that long ago, I started a romantic fling with a guy who I kinda sorta knew. I wasn’t all that taken into him physically, but emotionally…I couldn’t help it. I mean, I tried not to be, but with every single conversation we had…he baited me with compliments and bathed me in pet names.

He made me mix cds, sent me flowers, wrote me songs, and made me paintings. All within the first three weeks. And I KNOW, this should be a bad sign. I KNOW, these kinds of things should take TIME to develop…but I can’t help it! I like to feel things right away! I’m intense and spontaneous, so maybe I deserve all of the nightmare that is to come with this story.

Anyway, I was under the impression that things were going pretty well. But then he would tell me about dates with other girls. And this was fine. Really, I mean I was, after all, still going on dates with other guys. But then would come the heavily emotional talks until 7am and then the DAYS without talking. The night after he told me that he thought I was his soulmate, we then went four full days without any contact whatsoever. Not even a text.

I was confused.

And the night that he told me he was falling in love with me…he also refused to have sex with me. He would do EVERYthing else, but sex, he said, would totally kill our connection. His distance grew and I finally sat him down to ask what the f&*k was up. He told me that we were soulmates. (He knows this HOW…I am not sure. Maybe he found some soulmate connecting the dots kinda book on Ebay and our names line up. I don’t freaking know.) He also told me that he could not be my “lover”.

Please tell me: How is licking a girls’ vajayjay for hours on end any less intimate than having sex? How can you be falling in love with someone who you can ignore for days on end? Why wouldn’t my soulmate f*&k me?!

For the majority of us, love won’t be rosy and full of references to the likes of Cinderella and Snow White. Conversely, the composite mass of emotional mess we experience is exactly what makes love so addictive.

Alas, it is this aforementioned “composite mass of emotional mess” that I am beginning to tire of. The thought of emulating Sleeping Beauty and spending my days snoring loudly seems to be a very attractive prospect – especially to be rewarded with love’s true kiss (and more importantly, a good-looking man) for doing practically nothing.

Perhaps there is a lesson hidden in all those seemingly idealistic Walt Disney movies which dictates that in order to meet the perfect spouse, we must learn to lock ourselves up in castle towers, make carriages from pumpkins, or eat rotten apples.

Unfortunately I gave up on fairytales long ago. I gave up when I realised that there were more responses than ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to a question, and more than two ways to do things. A relationship is not the simple one hour and twenty minute epic movie that fairytales make it out to be. If Belle had been offered the choice of a casual relationship then who is to say she would decline?

Not so long ago I decided – for these very reasons – to give up on love. The maybes, oohs and aahs, the unspoken words, the sporadic nature of humanity; it tires me. Which is quite a coincidence seeing as I quite fancy an undisturbed nap in a cold dark tower. I’ll get back to you when Prince Charming turns up…

Grown tired of society’s barrage of “romance”? Think fairytale endings really do happen? Let us know!

Remember last year when he rushed the stage at the MTV Europe VMA’s, flipping out about the fact that his video cost “1 million dollars!” and that he had “Pam Anderson” and “jumped across canyons and shit!”?

Most people were like, “Whoa, Kanye. You’re talented and stuff…but calm down.”

And he did, for a little while.

Then of course, came the VMA’s on American soil, and West was shut out again, winning no awards for his “genius”. Instead of having a tantrum in front of however many millions of people, Kanye upgraded his whining to backstage…and the radio.

“That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance!” He exclaimed while waiting for a elevator, stomping around and hitting things. “I’m trying hard man, I have the … No. 1 record, man!”

After flipping out the night of show (much like I used to flip out when I was 4 and my mom wouldn’t let me have a second cookie…give a toddler a chance, man!) Kanye went to New York radio station Z100 last Monday and said he felt “betrayed” by the network.

He went on to say it wasn’t because he didn’t win, it was because of the programming; namely, allowing an unprepared Britney Spears to open the festivities and relegating him to a luxury suite at the Casino where the VMA’s were broadcast to perform instead of the main stage.

It’s been reported that West won’t ever deal with MTV again, but as all of us girls who have ever been through PMS know, things said in pissy, emotional anger aren’t always meant to be taken seriously.