One of the not so great things about the holiday season is the lack of good TV. Their logic is (or at least I think this is what it is) that we’ll all be too busy singing Christmas carols, buying presents, and getting too drunk to even think about our favorite shows. So they just play reruns. But they couldn’t have been more wrong, and that’s why I’m extra excited about Greek’s winter premiere tonight. Finally some good TV! And not only any show, but Greek, a show about college!

Granted, I doubt it’s an accurate portrayal of Greek life, but hey, it’s a start.

Or rather, it’s an end, because you see, this will be Greek’s final season. And I’m particularly sentimental about the ending of this show because just like the seniors of CRU are graduating and moving on with their lives, so am I. (Or at least I hope so.)  This show started the summer before my freshman year, and now, four years later, it’s ending, right when I’m about to graduate, so you’ll excuse me if I seem a bit too emotionally invested in these characters, but we’ve been journeying together for quite some time now.

Before we get into the details, let’s get the basics straight. This show centers around Greek life at a fictional college, Cyprus-Rhodes, focusing on one sorority, Zeta Beta Zeta, and two fraternities, Kappa-Tau, and Omega-Chi. Oh, and the two fraternities hate each other. (Most of the time.)

Ashleigh is the president of Zeta Beta Zeta, and her best friend and roommate, Casey is also a member of ZBZ. They’re seniors. Rebecca, a frenemey, is a sophomore at ZBZ. She’s dating Evan, a senior, and the president of Omega Chi. Evan used to date Casey, but not before she dated his former friend, Cappie, president of Kappa Tau and Casey’s on and off again boyfriend. This past season they’ve been decidedly on. Also a member of Kappa Tau is Casey’s little brother and Cappie’s “little brother,” Rusty. He’s a bit of a nerd, who tries to balance his Greek life with his heavy course load. His religious, anti-fraternity BFF Dale helps keep him in check, as does Calvin, Rusty’s other BFF, a member of Omega Chi.

You confused yet? Read More »

I’ll be honest – if I didn’t read CollegeCandy, I never would have known about MTV’s new show, House of Jazmin. I’d like to say it’s because I don’t bother with the dribble on MTV, but the real reason is because I get so engrossed in the drama on MTV shows that I am forced to fast-forward straight through the commercials and miss everything that is comin’ up.

So I watched this new show, AKA MTV’s answer to the loss of Lauren Conrad. MTV’s attempt at another show that might possibly gross as much money for the network as The Hills. MTV’s response to people who complained about how scripted/fake/annoying The Hills is.

And what did we get?
A real girl who is driven and talented and adorable.

And boring! Read More »

Even though I know full and well that The Hills is all a crock of reality sh*t, I still spend a good chunk of each episode pulling out the proof. For example, if the show were real, then there would be no way Lauren would get to take time off from her internship last minute to jet-set to Hawaii.  And if the show were real, that Bible in Spencer’s hand would have been real….and would have burned at his touch.

Because there is no way the devil can hold the word of God in his hands and walk away unscathed, right?

All that aside, though, I have never been as entertained by this show as I was when watching Speidi hold bible study in their den of sin with Heidi’s ex boyfriend and his current tranny girlfriend. I know, I know; those two Crested Butte kids are good people and I shouldn’t hate, but when that girl walked into dinner, I really thought she was a man. In an old man’s Hawaiian shirt. Read More »

I went to South Beach once. I ate really good sushi, stared into stores that I couldn’t even afford to walk into, and drunkenly slipped and fell on a stair leaving my entire left butt cheek so bruised I had to stand for the flight back to Michigan.  My trip would never have made good TV, which is probably why I am not on The City: too much ass, not enough drama.

The NYC kids (well, except Allie who was busy making porn in NYC) were sick of the dreary winter days so they decided to take a trip to Miami. Should be fun, right? Wrong. Obviously, drama follows these kids wherever they go and, obviously, Jay’s ex-fling (who he denies going home with that night after he and Whit started doin’ the dirty) happened to be at the same bar. Was it because she’s a total stalker? Perhaps.  A Coincidence? Perhaps. Whatever the reason, it turned the drama all the way up. Read More »

Tonight’s episode of The City was actually sorta entertaining. I am even willing to look past the fact that Erin lives in a ridiculous apartment in NYC and affords it by having spent the past year and a half “soul searching,” and the fact that she just wanted a job…and got one.

Why was it so good? Why, because Kelly Cutrone and her big mouth were there to throw a little spice into an extremely bland series.

So, Kell has a birthday party and Whitney decides to invite jobless Erin and skinny Allie. Whitney, of course, warns the ladies that Kelly speaks her mind (read: is a bitch), so they better watch out. Allie is so excited! She loves people who speak their mind!!

Unless that someone has something bad to say about her. Like how they hate her leggings. Or that she’s too skinny and looks like she hasn’t eaten a sandwich in 6 years. Read More »

You know how you used to love reading books? And then you got to college and if you never had to read another book as long as you lived it will be too soon.

Yeah, that’s how I feel about The City.

I used to totally live for the MTV reality shows: Laguna Beach, The Hills, hell, even Bromance. But The City totally killed it all for me and watching it every week is like sticking a Christian Louboutin heel in my eye. Except minus the glamour and excitement of having a Louboutin to shove in my cornea.

This show is terrible. TERRIBLE.  The characters are all extremely dense and boring and I just cannot muster up an feelings for any of them. I take notes during the episode and this is what I had at the end of the show: Read More »

I imagine what the MTV production meeting looked like before tonight’s episode of The City was planned.

“Hey guys. We totally effed up on the drama factor by letting Whit and Jay get together so quickly. Let’s introduce some new characters….er….invite more ‘real people’ in so we can have new dramz. Oh, and let’s make sure to make everyone meet up in the park to discuss their issues. Letting it all happen in their apartments is boring.”

Seriously – the episode was boring. I barely cared about the Jay shiz and now they want me to care about some not-so-cute model and her douchey boyfriend? Not only do I not know this girl, but her situation isn’t nearly as fun to watch as Audrina and Justin Bobby, so why should I care?

Yes, it sucks to see some chick get her heart broken when her BF has guy night at a strip club and some girl (who was at the strip club, why?) ends up maybe making out with him. And, yes, it was kinda funny to watch her BF try to warn her of the sitch while driving her home from the airport (“I love you so much. I love you. Did you talk to Whitney?”).

But I don’t care.

Read More »

Wow. What a crappy episode of The Hills. Did anything really happen? Did that episode really last 30 minutes, because it felt like 10. Most of the show was pretty bo-ring, so instead of recapping a bunch of crap, I will just focus on the main event:

Justin Bobby and Audrina kinda sorta break up and makeup, take 246:

Audrina goes to work in the recording studio with Brandy (?!), but leaves the studio because Justin Bobby wants to see her. Because everyone A) has the opportunity to go into a recording studio with Brandy (?!), and B) everyone in the real world can just leave work when their dirty and weird kinda-sorta boyfriend stops by (or, you know, their flesh-colored-bearded BF stops by to talk about people messing with the DVR).

So, apparently Audrina goes out there to tell JB that she’s totally dunzo. But then Justin Bobby is sitting on his Chopper and wearing a hat and says all these things to sweep her off her feet. You know, sweet nothings like: Read More »

When last night’s episode of Gossip Girl opened with a spoofy Eliza Doolittle dream sequence, I wanted to throw up in my mouth. However, what unraveled over the next 42 minutes (not including commercial breaks) was one of the juiciest, drama-filled, completely-untrue-to-high-school-life episodes of the season.

I freaking loved it.

All of our favorite Upper East Siders are getting ready for college. Which makes me think: my alcoholism peaked in college in a Keystone-Dubra-Keg Party blur. These “high schoolers” drink martinis for breakfast. What will happen to them after graduation?

So, obviously the GG writers have to come up with an elaborate scheme to get everyone to Yale for College Admissions Day. What better way to do so than by having Blair slam Serena, and Serena fight back by flaunting her hot Blake Lively self for the Dean of Admissions? You know something’s gonna go down when the kids’ Headmaster advises them to “present yourselves in the best possible light.” Yeah, right.

To put it in a nutshell: Chuck wants to join a secret society. Nate’s dad has a bad rap at Yale, so Nate pretends to be none other than Dan Humphrey in order to shack up with a collegiate hottie (Ladies– would you EVER shack up with a high school boy on a school tour? To answer my own question, I guess I’ve never seen a minor who looks like Chace Crawford…). Oh, and did I mention that Yale has decided to change it’s “stuffy” image, hence the interest in Socialite Serena? More on what I DID NOT find believable later.

In typical Chuck Bass fashion, blindfolded, non-English-speaking prostitutes show up in threes to *cough* impress the members of the secret society Chuckie so desperately wants to join, but what these guys really want is a piece of Nate Archibald. Hmmm. So Chuck sets up poor Lonely Boy to get beaten and tied, half-naked, to a gazebo. (Editor’s Note: Is tying a skinny kid in his boxers to a statue really the best a secret society can do?) Where was this when I was scoping out potential unis? Read More »

The theme of last night’s Gossip Girl episode was post-dating awkwardness, as displayed by Serena and Dan, Lily and Rufus, and Vanessa and Nate. The ep also had at least two major shockers, some really random limited-time alliances (Chuck giving Dan a guy-code peptalk, what?), and Ed Westwick in a purple suit that looked like it was left over from Pee Wee Herman on Ice. I guess GG’s wardrobe department can’t win them all.

Three episodes into the season, and we’re just now getting into Back-to-School season. Hence, the lavish drama-inducing party is replaced by upscale bars that serve teenagers, and the Colorful-Martini-on-White-Dress shtick from the Vitamin Water party is replaced by some sort of acid formula that burns the victims’ hair right off her scalp. Ouch.

Am I getting ahead of myself? Here’s what you need to know: Serena and Dan are each having qualms about seeing each other back at school, while Blair and her drones are preparing for their yearly initiation of potential newbies (which Jenny failed at last year). This creates the perfect set-up for new character Amanda’s entrance. Just as Blair explains to Serena that whomever dates first wins, bam! Dan bumps into Amanda, which can only have a tragic outcome. Read More »