Um, h…hi. My name is Awkward. I’m your date.

I’ve been single for a while. And when I say single, I mean…not in a relationship. I’ve had things. We’ve all had things. But things eventually go down one of two streets; Boring Lane or Sucky Road.I can usually tell the difference between a thing and something cool within the first five minutes of being out with someone. Even when my head is telling me to ‘give it a little while!’ my instinct is already walking out the door. Either there’s a spark or there’s not. Either I feel something when I’m around him, or I just feel annoyed.

Admittedly, I’m a picky gal, and try as I might, I can’t settle for anything less than awesome. Why should I? Why should anyone? I’m sure some great philosopher once said something like, “life is short, why chill with losers?”, and I can’t think of any reason to argue with such a statement.

The combination of being single and liking adventure, but being picky as hell, has led me on a lot of first dates. Some of them have been hilarious. Some have been uncomfortable. And some have just been bullshit. (“I don’t know why girls think a guy should pay for anything” an asshole once said within 10 minutes of meeting me, “I’m a starving artist. I’m not into paying for things.”) Read More »