Okay, so last week I was complaining because I was anxiously waiting for this one boy to finally ask me out (which he did two days ago, thank you very much). Now the part of my life that involves boys has become slightly drastically more complicated.

Last week was my school’s spring break, and while I spent half of the time in Arizona, (where it RAINED for three out of five days), the other half was spent in Chicago with the boy that I dated all through high school.

Oh yeah, him. I can try to play it off as casually as I want, but this now single girl went through the entirety of high school being coupled. And having the boy that you dated for three years come to visit you in your new life is anything but casual.

FACT: I dated him all through high school, we fell in love and he broke my heart. Hardcore, he crushed my heart.

FACT: He has been apologizing for breaking my heart since last August, and I didn’t even respond for the first month and a half of his apologies. His persistence finallyconvinced me to respond once, and he later persuaded me into talking as ‘friends’ ever since.

FACT: I have been on so many dates and hooked up with many guys since we were over, and I have yet to find anyone that I was not comparing to him. Read More »

We’ve all done it.  We claim that we are the best of friends, but the truth is that we are all guilty.  We sit and listen to our friends complain about their breakups, lend a shoulder to cry on, and then offer consoling words:  “You can do so much better” or “he’s the one missing out, not you.”  The sob-fest concludes and what do we do?

We immediately call our other friends to vent about just how annoying it is that Jill still isn’t over Jack.  After all, their break up was three months ago!  Can’t she just get a grip?!  We vow to never act so desperate, and we wouldn’t of course, because our breakups happened around the same and we are so, totally over our ex.

But wait, are we really?  Before we throw Jill down the hill for holding on too long, maybe we should read the signs to see if we aren’t exactly “over” our ex’s either:

Read More »

You think breakups are hard? Try rebound sex. That little activity is more difficult to navigate than an overcrowded frat party in a dark, smelly basement. Sometimes a rebound is just what we need to get out of the habit of spontaneously crying/checking our ex’s Facebook 800 times a day. Other times, rebounds just pile even more heartbreak on top of an already-difficult situation.

Here are some ground rules for having a fun and successful rebound fling.

Don’t expect to fall in love. When you’ve just gotten out of an intense relationship, it can be tempting to look for your next true love. Don’t. Rebound sex can help you get back in the game, but it’s not going to replace your ex. Expecting anything more than casual fun sets you up for another heartache.

Don’t deny your emotions. You shouldn’t be looking for your next great love right away, but that doesn’t mean you should be ignoring any emotions you have. Your first time having sex with someone new is bound to bring up some emotions. It’s better to acknowledge and deal with these, good and bad, than to deny them completely. Trust me, they always make their way to the surface eventually… and it’s super awkward when “eventually” is “while you’re on top and start crying onto his chest.” Read More »

It’s no secret that everyone wants honestly in their relationship, but there are some things we just DON’T want to know (or want them to know!).  Much like you wouldn’t disclose to your man exactly what happened between you and his roommate freshman year, here’s a list of things we definitely do not want to hear from guys we’re gettin’ down with:

1. His “Number”: I admit that sometimes I get curious and I’m tempted to ask, but I resist! I really don’t wanna know how many other chicks he’s gotten naked with, especially if I’m into him.

2. Bowel movements: Even if the relationship is years old, there should still be a little mystery in the bathroom. He should tell his frat brothers about what he’s doing/did/about to do (in graphic detail) in there, not me.

3. Anything positive about his ex: I don’t care if she was pretty, smart, a good cook, or great in bed. It’s best not to mention her at all, but if he must, we prefer to hear that she was some variation of a crazy person who didn’t fulfill his needs and has much, much smaller boobies. Also… Read More »

This is for a good cause, people!

At least she’s trying, right?

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10 signs you’re not over your ex.

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Whether you end things or he does, break-ups are hard. There’s a reason they’re quickly followed by carb loading (cookies and/or pints of beer) and making out with a rando against a wall. But relationships end for a reason; it’s just too bad that many of us are completely unable to remember the reason when we’re elbow deep in Oreos and crying at the latest Zales commercial.

Why do we always have such a hard time letting go?
Do we actually miss the guy, or do we just miss being in a relationship?

College relationships bring comfort and ease during a time in our lives that is filled with uncertainty. We’re unsure about our future, our jobs, our grades, our finances, and are generally stressed out.  We look at our guys as the one thing we can count on always; to support us, to love us, to cuddle with us after a long day of class and studying.  Not to mention that being single is exhausting!  I’ve had one too many nights of getting dressed up in hopes of finding a cutie to take home, only to end the night crying and carrying a pizza.

But the majority of us college girls will inevitably endure a break-up within these four years. Sad but true. Breaking up is a major change and it’s scary!  It means saying goodbye to those sweet good morning texts, romantic dinner dates, and guaranteed booty (what? it’s usually the thing I miss most!), and hello to a completely new life. We feel vulnerable and lonely and ready to run right back to our ex before we even have a chance to sleep alone. The same ex who wasn’t giving us what we needed or deserved. Read More »

Hm. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea.

This song has been in my head for weeks, probably because perfectly describes what I’m living through. I recently broke up with my boyfriend.

Except not really.

Long-distance was not working out for us, so we tried an open relationship. When that didn’t fix anything, I ended it… two days before going to visit him for two weeks. Awkward much? I visited and we carried on like nothing had changed, promising we would start acting broken up once I left.

I’ve been home for over a month now and we still talk every day. He asked me to be his Valentine. I’m visiting over spring break, which also includes our one-year anniversary, and we’re still celebrating it. I’ve been on two dates, and each time felt like I was cheating. How could anyone call this broken up?

My situation may be especially strange, but I know many of my friends have been in similar positions. It’s hard to let go of someone, and usually that means a break up is more of a process than an event. You end things, cry, drunk dial, cry, sleep together, cry, keep sleeping together, get it together, stop sleeping together, move on. It ends up looking something like this.

And now that I’m in it, I’m confused. I know that I’m probably not going about this right, but I’m not sure what right is.

Can break up sex be right? Read More »

I'd rather spend my V-day crying into a bowl of noodles than have to hang out with one of these turds.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many of us are spending our days in bed, sifting through photos of boyfriend’s past with a tube of cookie dough in hand while The Fray plays in the background.

No? Just me?
Alrighty then….

Regardless if you’ve hit rock bottom, it’s not easy being single in February when it seems that everyone’s focus is on love: finding it, expressing it (with cheap chocolate), and (unknowingly…hopefully) rubbing it in everyone’s face who hasn’t quite found it yet. Who can judge you, then, for taking a trip down ex-boyfriend memory lane, thinking about all those wonderful little things you had together.

But maybe instead of drowning your sorrows in raw dough thinking of all the good in your past, it’s time to focus on the bad: all those jerks in your history of love who, thankfully, are long gone. Because as much as it sucked then, nothing lifts the spirits quite like realizing you’d rather be alone on V-day than with any one of these losers: (And hey, if you’ve got a man to snuggle up to on February 14th, you can still enjoy knowing he’s not like this.) Read More »

So according to a recent study, the Internet is making us depressed.

While the scientists behind the study link depression to the amount of time spent in a virtual world, I have a few of my own theories as to why the Internet is making us all very, very sad.

1: Checking on the Ex.  If you are about to say that you have never fallen prey to Facebooking our ex you’d better grab a fire extinguisher, because your pants are on fire.  After a break-up, as detailed by Ted Mosby on “How I Met Your Mother,” there is a clear winner and a clear loser.  And of course, you want your ex to be the loser.  So you’ll casually click on his Facebook, just to see how he’s doing (i.e. hopefully read a bunch of depressing status updates regarding his horrible life since you guys broke up, maybe some encouraging wall posts from his friends trying in vain to get him out of his depression of knowing that there was no one else for him than you…) and what do you find? NEW PICTURES OF HIM AND SOME GIRL?!  IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!  WHO IS THIS “JESSICA”??!  You click through the entire album at least twice, only to find that this little witch is now apparently dating your vile ex, and (after a small amount of clicking) she’s just gorgeous and cool and perfect.  <Insert depressing Status Update here.>

2: Online Shopping. You avoid the expensive stores in the mall because you know you can’t afford them, but there’s no avoiding that amazing Botkier bag or Louboutin pump that you happen to come across while absentmindedly surfing the web in lecture. And seeing it there, taunting you with its beauty, sends you into a deep fit of depression when you know you can’t afford it. Read More »

As per usual in my life, my senior year (the first one, mind you) was spent obsessing over a gargantuan, shaggy-haired, Beatles’ lovin, ex-BF who thought he was way too good for me. Even though he ignored me 99% of the time, I basically revolved my life around him. I planned my weekend festivities around where I thought he might show up. I wriggled myself into outfits no one should ever have to wriggle themselves into to “show him what he was missing.” (Which, it turned out, was a girl in a too-low top whose boobs were constantly falling out.) I made out with his friends in front of him.

Basically, I turned into a grade A psychopath. But, we still had mutual friends. Lots of them. Read More »