College Candy

"This'll teach my boyfriend to call me naggy!"

People have all kinds of reasons for engaging in casual sex. To our generation, casual sex is a college staple, much like after-caf diarrhea and late-night Adderall binges. To youth of the 60s and 70s, casual sex was an act of rebellion and a representation of a new way of life. To the generations before them, casual sex was the devil’s playground and giving away free milk.

I’m not going to debate the morality of casual sex. Everybody has different reasons for “hooking up” and everyone experiences different consequences. There are some reasons for having casual sex, however, that really are just bad news. I know this because I’ve tried most of them… So I decided to put a list together so you guys don’t have to make the same mistakes I have, or some I haven’t. Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site.  We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

It’s one of those debates that has raged for… well, for as long as human beings have done the date and break-up thing. Is fooling around with an ex strictly off limits or a little habit that’s OK to indulge in?

As much as we all wish that our exes would be magically transported to some remote island in the Pacific (ok, maybe the Arctic – why should they get a tropical vacation?),  just like a bad penny, they have a bad habit of turning up again, usually when you’re not wearing makeup. If you have the same friends or go to the same school, odds are good that you are going to run into that old flame somewhere and you know how it is with old flames; they tend to catch fire all over again.

It’s easy to fall back into things with an ex; after all, there was a reason you were together in the first place, right? Plus, you know each other, you know the likes and dislikes and there’s none of the awkward “just starting out” stuff. You get to enjoy all of the heat and passion of doing something taboo, with someone who knows how to “do” you right. Read More »

It’s a fact of life: unless you marry your high school sweetheart, the older you get, the more relationships you’ve had. And so has your significant other. Not only are there more relationships, but they are more meaningful. There are shared pets, friends that knew ‘them’, ex-apartments, ex-fiances, ex-spouses, even children.

Before I entered the world of adult dating, I didn’t really understand the importance of these factors in forming a new relationship. My lovely older sister used to lose her mind when her boyfriend (now husband)’s ex was mentioned, and I couldn’t understand why. She was history, why was the mention of her name so upsetting? I didn’t care about any of MY boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends. Of course not, they’d dated as teenagers or college students (when they were drunk most of the time, I’m sure), and topped out at a year, two at the most.

Once I joined the grown-ups, I had a new appreciation for ‘the ex’, as she became a more significant being. My boyfriend was with his ex for 8 years, and when I first found that out, the thought of her made me INSANE. Totally irrational, I know, but I’m working through it. It’s far from complete, and I’m sure it will evolve, as all things do, as I age. But for the time being, here are a few things I’ve found that help deal with this relationship reality in a healthy way. Read More »

We are the Facebook generation.  With this glorious title comes many responsibilities (well, sort of): we must immediately inform our friends of any and all actions we take and decisions we make during our day.  This includes what TV show we’re watching, what we are eating, the status of our relationships and, subsequently, our break-ups.

Now that Facebook is in the picture, there is a whole new slew of issues we must face when dealing with a heartbreaking, make-you-wanna-sit-in-your-room-alone-crying-to-sappy-music breakups.

Before Facebook (BF): You break it off with your lover and tell everyone that you ended it, so you need your besties and Ben & Jerry’s, like, stat.
After Facebook (AF): You break it off with your lover and they change their relationship status first, making it look like it was their decision.  Which it was not. Ok, maybe it was, but did they have to change that so quickly? Now you’re getting 45 FB messages and wall posts asking if you are OK.

BF: You rip up all your pictures, cutting out your ex’s face and even burning the particularly painful ones.  Ah, satisfaction.
AF: You untag the 1,938 pictures of you guys as a couple.  It takes four hours and is in no way satisfying because there is a sad lack of sharp objects and fire. And the pictures are still fully intact.

BF: You carefully orchestrate a plan to “accidentally” be at the same social function as your ex, looking fabulous and with what looks like the next Calvin Klein underwear model.
AF: You post pictures from a bender with your besties, carefully editing out the embarrassing bits (oh, thousands) and making sure to post an appropriate, make-him-jealous Facebook status (”Sooo tired but had the best time EVER last night!! <3 Mike” Note: Mike is not your ex). Read More »

[I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the epitome of prim and proper- heck, who really is nowadays? But looking around at the misguided youths of today *ahem drinking buddies*, I’m starting to think that Miss Manners might have been onto something.

While you may never need to know how to greet a duke or how to tell which fork is REALLY the oyster fork, knowing how to deal with people whom owe you money, how much to tip, and how to address the ever annoying licorice-in-teeth conundrum without being rude might actually come in handy in the real world. I'm not trying to be your mother - oh goodness, no - I'm just here to help you out of those little etiquette dilemmas. So here goes: a quick lesson in etiquette. The sh*t you might actually need to know.]

I’m going to be honest: my last break up was over four years ago. So when my editor suggested I do a Miss Manners piece on break ups (”because we all suck so badly at that”), I really had to rack my brains for “polite” ways to conduct a break up. What I found was:

There is no polite way to break up with someone.

Yes, the cold, hard truth is, breaking up with someone is dirty business and – unless the relationship really wasn’t that serious – one of you is bound to end up looking like a mess. While there is no set in stone way of saying, “Hey, it’s over,” or “Sorry but I’m leaving you for your brother,” there are some more or less common sense rules to abide to: Read More »

Don’t get me wrong; I love Tough Love. Well, the show. I’m not quite sure I could handle someone pointing out my major flaws on national television (though I did attempt to audition for the next season…). Anyways, I think Steve Ward is great and knows his sh*t (and looks great in a pair of jeans) and really helped those women learn how to love themselves and be loved.

But don’t you think dating would be so much easier if we could all get some video feedback from the guys that we like? Wouldn’t it be magical if we didn’t have to spend hours decoding the emails/texts from the boys to figure out what they really mean? Maybe the fact that all those wonderful relationships blossomed in this fantasy land where the women knew exactly what their guys were thinking contributed to the fact that not one of them worked out in the real world…

But let’s take a step back and talk about the season finale! Read More »

I think last night might have been the best episode of Tough Love yet. In fact, I’m ready to say it might be some of the best TV I’ve seen since Bromance (but then again, I clearly have no standards). Watching that episode sent me on a roller coaster of emotion and since the shades on my window were open and the people across the street can see into my place, they would have seen this:

Me laughing.
Me staring at the screen in shock.
Me laughing really loud (this is probably when Taylor was talking; that bitch is funny).
Me eating snacks.
Me plucking my eyebrows during the commercials.
Me picking my jaw up off the floor.
Me screaming at the TV.

Steve’s idea to bring the girls’ past and present together into one seriously awkward dinner party was deliciously brilliant. Of course, I wouldn’t have wanted to be a part of that, but it was pretty awesome to watch. Especially a few select ladies: Read More »

Okay, so I know these playlists started as pregame playlists and we’ve definitely deviated a couple times. Oops.

And I dunno if it’s just the spring sunshine (er, rain right now), but I am feelin’ a little frisky. Which sucks. Because I’m single…and plan to stay that way.

But, I do have ONE option at my disposal: Sex with the Ex.

Now, even though I won’t actually do it (…at least not unless I have a good two to three white russians in my system), it is still fun to think about. Which I did. Through my hour and fifteen minute lecture on Scriptwriting.

So, naturally all this thinking led to fantasizing, and this fantasizing inevitably led to me creating a “Sex with the Ex” mix chock full of songs that would totally make any ex fall to his knees, you know, just in case. Like my own little secret weapon.

So, I’m not saying you have to use this mix for it’s original purpose, but I won’t judge you if you do.

Next week, I’ll give you some songs to drink to. Promise.
Check it out here.

While there are definitely tons of perks that come with being a celebrity, like the money, nice clothes, and invites to awesome Hollywood parties (to name just a few), fame also has its drawbacks.

Like the paps.

Being a mere mortal, I love the freedom I have of being able to go out of my house in sweatpants and no makeup without fear that an unflattering picture of it would show up online later that day, followed closely by the rag mags discussing my cellulite, my hair and my major fashion Don’t.

And I don’t even want to think of having to deal with my personal life in front of the world. After watching the media frenzy surrounding Lindsay and Sam’s recent breakup, I have really started to feel bad for our little LiLo. I know she’s sort of an attention whore (with a laundry list of issues), but the absolute last thing I’d want to deal with after a big break-up is constant media attention.

Just imagine what it would be like to have to deal with a heartbreaking break up while the world was watching your every move. Would you want the paparazzi swarming you when you’re walking to class in baggy sweats, no makeup, and puffy eyes from crying? Or have photos taken of you while you stock up on cookie dough and Doritos to numb the pain of a broken heart? I know I’d like to avoid any and all photos when I spontaneously burst into tears at the mere mention of beer (”OMG MY EX LOOOOVED BEEEEEEER. Waaaaah”).  Read More »

[This post is courtesy of our gal pal, Marie Claire.]

Most of the time I see jealous and overly possessive guys driving their girlfriends away.    They appear to be controlling and insecure.

But, then again, if you don’t act jealous at all, you look like you don’t care.  Sadly, I’ve seen women admit that it’s nice to know that their guy is a little jealous or possessive of them.

So let’s go over the characters in our lives that may make our significant others jealous: Read More »