[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site.  We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

It’s one of those debates that has raged for… well, for as long as human beings have done the date and break-up thing. Is fooling around with an ex strictly off limits or a little habit that’s OK to indulge in?

As much as we all wish that our exes would be magically transported to some remote island in the Pacific (ok, maybe the Arctic – why should they get a tropical vacation?),  just like a bad penny, they have a bad habit of turning up again, usually when you’re not wearing makeup. If you have the same friends or go to the same school, odds are good that you are going to run into that old flame somewhere and you know how it is with old flames; they tend to catch fire all over again.

It’s easy to fall back into things with an ex; after all, there was a reason you were together in the first place, right? Plus, you know each other, you know the likes and dislikes and there’s none of the awkward “just starting out” stuff. You get to enjoy all of the heat and passion of doing something taboo, with someone who knows how to “do” you right. Read More »

Got a question for the Tuffster? Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So I’m home from college for the summer and kind of lonely. I dated around this year at school but nothing serious like my high school boyfriend (let’s call him K). Anyway, K is home from school today and we’ve been hanging out but I know he wants to hook up and I think I do too. But I don’t want him to be my boyfriend when I go back to school. Should I hook up with him or not? I’m pretty sure I’m going to. Would that be screwed up?

Tricia

Dear Tricia,

So, like, this is a trick question because you’ve obviously already decided to hook up with him. Right? I mean, why are you gonna write to me and say you’re gonna do it then? Well, anyway, I think you should go for it, so I guess you’re in luck.

Here’re Tuffy’s thoughts: Read More »

Okay, so I know these playlists started as pregame playlists and we’ve definitely deviated a couple times. Oops.

And I dunno if it’s just the spring sunshine (er, rain right now), but I am feelin’ a little frisky. Which sucks. Because I’m single…and plan to stay that way.

But, I do have ONE option at my disposal: Sex with the Ex.

Now, even though I won’t actually do it (…at least not unless I have a good two to three white russians in my system), it is still fun to think about. Which I did. Through my hour and fifteen minute lecture on Scriptwriting.

So, naturally all this thinking led to fantasizing, and this fantasizing inevitably led to me creating a “Sex with the Ex” mix chock full of songs that would totally make any ex fall to his knees, you know, just in case. Like my own little secret weapon.

So, I’m not saying you have to use this mix for it’s original purpose, but I won’t judge you if you do.

Next week, I’ll give you some songs to drink to. Promise.
Check it out here.

Sex in college can be a tricky little endeavor. Sometimes it’s awkward, other times it’s out-of-this- world-amazing, and even other times it’s down right obnoxious (like when your partner finds it necessary to ask questions which require long-winded responses while doin’ the deed).

Then, the heat of the moment passes and you wake up resembling the Bride of Frankenstein only to realize that you just boned your best friend/ex-lover/a boy from your Psych class. And things get even messier. No pun intended.

You instantly turn into psycho b*tch and a million questions run through your head in a matter of milliseconds. Everything from, I wonder if he’s REALLY regretting that last shot of Jack? to planning an elaborate escape route to his front door without spilling any beer cans or waking up any of his roommates.

But perhaps the most important question that plagues your hungover mind is something like, What the f**k is going to happen now? Especially when the person you just screwed is a friend. Or a friend of a friend. Or in three of your classes. Seriously, is it even possible to maintain a platonic relationship with someone you just saw – and who saw you – in the buff, without makeup or a push-up bra?

In my opinion, what unfolds after the sheets are, um, unfolded depends a lot on who you’re gettin’ it on with. The state of affairs BEFORE the actual event greatly determines the way shite will go down afterwards. Read More »

So, I’m the queen of bad decision making. I probably shouldn’t embrace this to the degree that I do, but screw it; I think with my vagina sometimes and I love being spontaneous.

When my ex-boyfriend offered to buy me a plane ticket to go visit him for a few days, I knew exactly what was up. We’d had some sexy online conversations during the recent months (in fact, I even blogged about our sexy confrontations a few times before) and sex, after all, was what had kept us together (in my opinion) when we were dating. I accepted the offer, hopped on the plane and wrote the whole thing off as a vacation in my mind, even if nothing more happened.

But of course more did happen. Of course we had sex multiple times in multiple ways in multiple places. Of course we cuddled and reflected on days of old. Of course things felt the way they felt when we dated.

Yes, I know that everyone thinks this is a bad idea, but after having spent some time and thought on this recent voyage of mine, I believe ex-sex can be done, if you do it right. If you are considering it, don’t write it off just yet; I’ve got some tips for a successful trip down memory lane: Read More »

Friday is back at last. And we are happy. Why? Because we have no life until school starts again and for once – thanks to the Olympic games – it is totally acceptable to sit home on a Friday night. Eating Moo Shu. With our hands.

We do have a lot in store for the weekend. First up, a shopping trip to pick up the essentials: a sex machine, some not-so-slutty party clothes, some ingredients to woo that dude we met at Yoga (yes, he is a bit shorter than us, but he looks so good in Child’s Pose) and a little trip for Botox to fill in all those trouble spots from that trip to Vegas. (It was siiiiick.)

Then we have to plan that Welcome Week party and, seriously, just making the guest-list is a pain. Let’s just hope our ex doesn’t show up, cuz you know once that margarita hits our lips we won’t be able to keep our hands off him. (And we have to cuz according to Facebook, he’s got a new bitch.)

After that, it’s a Sunday filled with Disney movies, election coverage and, of course, scoping out the hotties at the Olympics.

TGIF. Enjoy it, ladies.

You know it’s wrong, but when you see your ex across the room for the first time since the big breakup/clothing exchange, rollin’ around in the sheets seems like the best idea in the world. You convince yourself that it will be fun, just this once, and that you both know what the deal is so there is nothing to lose.

But there is. And even the dudes agree.

If you are considering Ex Sex, read on. No one – male or female – thinks it’s a smart move. And trust us; we too thought it was brilliant at one point, but we learned our lesson and you should learn from it too.

He Said:

When you first break up, hooking up with your ex seems like the best thing possible, a naughty glimmer of hope in a dark sea of suckitude. What was your stupid girlfriend suddenly blooms into a beacon of sexiness. She dresses better, smiles more, never grills you about hanging out with your boys, doesn’t complain about what you’re wearing–even her boobs look bigger! It’s like breaking up was exactly what your mutual sex life—and your relationship–needed.

But it’s a trap.

A number of outcomes are likely. First, if it lasts more than a couple of hot nights, you soon fall back into the same, frustrating routines. Instead of just hooking up, you’re going to dinner with her grandma and shopping for crap you don’t care about. The arguing starts, and she’s once again lost that certain something. Basically, you’re back together-whether you admit it or not–and it sucks just as much as it did in the first place. Read More »

The Exsex was something that had been on my mind all week this week. To have great sex so easily and without any emotional cost or expectation on behalf of either person…it sounded like such a glamorous and hot way to bypass all of the bullsh*t I hate that normally has to take place on the path toward getting laid.

I eventually had to weigh the pros and cons.

PROS

The sex with Brian would be wonderful.

Brian is incredibly well-endowed (adding to the wonderfulness of it).

It would be easy. He would be leaving town the next morning.

CONS

He would be 45 miles away.

The weather got crappy.

The two of us having real privacy would be a gambling game.

And still, the biggest question lingered in my mind:

Would it really be sex without strings attached? Read More »

If there is one thing I have learned in life, it’s that you always want what you can’t have. The grass is always greener. There will always be someone with a better wardrobe, a hotter ride and a more impressive resume. Such is life.

So, this weekend I decided that I was going to get a little taste of the other side – the other side of my ex-boyfriend’s door, that is.

I blame it on being a Scorpio. Word on the street is that we know exactly how to work our sexy Scorpion magic: We will sit back and wait, silently, passively – no matter how vehemently we really desire something- for the right moment to attack our poor, vulnerable prey (which was, in this case, my unsuspecting, man-whore of an ex).

See, after I broke up with the sleaze (and felt absolutely miserable about it and watched him act like he probably couldn’t have cared less) – I waited. And waited. And waited. Even though we hang out with the same group of drunk, dreadlocked, alcoholic idiots and saw each other at least once every two weeks, I kept my mouth (and legs) shut. Read More »