Hey Dude,

I just broke up with my boyfriend of more than 6 months (who keeps count these days anyway?), and it’s been a rough time. Mostly, I think, neither one of us wanted to break up but we had been growing apart for sometime. New changes in his life prompted him to cut the cord, and we went our separate ways…kind of. In reality, as soon as things were officially over (I’m talking next day here), he and I went back to normal. We started texting nonstop again, calling a few times a day just “because this song reminded me of you,” or because “you’re going to die of laughter when you hear about my dinner mishap.”

Aside from the fact that we were no longer together absolutely NOTHING had changed… It’s as though all of the pressure of a formal relationship was suddenly off and we were that fun and exciting couple again…minus the couple.

I think you should know that we haven’t had to face the issue of hooking up yet because he lives in a land far far away (but really only like an hour and some change) so I don’t know how that little taboo will work out when we next see each other.

Now, I never wanted us to break up, I just wanted us to take some time to cool off and reconnect. So, as you can imagine after how well things have been going, I want us to be together again. Is this silly, is it time to start getting over him or should I continue to cling to the hope that it’s all going to work out?

-Ex-girlfriend

Read More »

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Does have have to know I've never been kissed?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Hi Dude,
I recently hung out with my ex – we were together for 2 years and been broken up for about 2 1/2 years. After the break-up I had a hard time and came off a bit needy. Time went by and we met up to catch up. I told him I still had feelings for him but he was dating someone and said he wanted to see where it went and that he “didn’t love me anymore.”

Well they broke up a month ago and when we hung out this last time he was completely different. We totally clicked and the whole time he kept bringing up old memories he has of me and talked about times we had sex and was a bit flirty. He also made a comment that we were “good together” but that we were just at “differnt points in our life.” Every time we’d hung out after our break up it was very awkward and this time it wasn’t at all. He even invited me out to an event and I went. He’s also helping me find a job and he always talks to me on Facebook. I still love him and care for him and I’m not sure what to think about him talking about sex and saying he hasn’t forgotten how good I was in bed and bringing up a lot of memories. It really threw me off. What does this mean?

– Broken Up and Breaking Down Read More »

Hm. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea.

This song has been in my head for weeks, probably because perfectly describes what I’m living through. I recently broke up with my boyfriend.

Except not really.

Long-distance was not working out for us, so we tried an open relationship. When that didn’t fix anything, I ended it… two days before going to visit him for two weeks. Awkward much? I visited and we carried on like nothing had changed, promising we would start acting broken up once I left.

I’ve been home for over a month now and we still talk every day. He asked me to be his Valentine. I’m visiting over spring break, which also includes our one-year anniversary, and we’re still celebrating it. I’ve been on two dates, and each time felt like I was cheating. How could anyone call this broken up?

My situation may be especially strange, but I know many of my friends have been in similar positions. It’s hard to let go of someone, and usually that means a break up is more of a process than an event. You end things, cry, drunk dial, cry, sleep together, cry, keep sleeping together, get it together, stop sleeping together, move on. It ends up looking something like this.

And now that I’m in it, I’m confused. I know that I’m probably not going about this right, but I’m not sure what right is.

Can break up sex be right? Read More »

As per usual in my life, my senior year (the first one, mind you) was spent obsessing over a gargantuan, shaggy-haired, Beatles’ lovin, ex-BF who thought he was way too good for me. Even though he ignored me 99% of the time, I basically revolved my life around him. I planned my weekend festivities around where I thought he might show up. I wriggled myself into outfits no one should ever have to wriggle themselves into to “show him what he was missing.” (Which, it turned out, was a girl in a too-low top whose boobs were constantly falling out.) I made out with his friends in front of him.

Basically, I turned into a grade A psychopath. But, we still had mutual friends. Lots of them. Read More »

Dear Dudeness,

OK, so I need your help. My ex dumped me about 8 months ago saying that we needed space. I called BS and we didn’t talk after that. But yesterday we were talking, just catching up and I was secretly checking to see if he was with someone. Well he ended up inviting me to a party and so I went. We didn’t really talk at the party; he came up to me and said hi but I was really busy winning beer pong. Then me and my friends left to go get Taco Bell and when we got back he had left. He said earlier that he would come back for me if I needed a ride and I ended up needing one, of course, so he came and got me.

Long story short, we ended up in my room about to have sex and then he blurts out: “You were the only girl I ever loved.” Umm WTF? I told him it was just sex and that we didn’ need to discuss that right now (I was trying to not be clingy… did I get it right?) but then he told me that again later on. Why? He was the one to dump me and say we needed space. My ex broke my heart right in half and I don’t want to do the whole obsession thing of wondering what he meant, but why would he tell me that? It was almost awkward. Almost.

Anyways I’m totally rambling but I figured you would know what to tell me.

Thank you, dude!
Taylor Read More »

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site.  We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

It’s one of those debates that has raged for… well, for as long as human beings have done the date and break-up thing. Is fooling around with an ex strictly off limits or a little habit that’s OK to indulge in?

As much as we all wish that our exes would be magically transported to some remote island in the Pacific (ok, maybe the Arctic – why should they get a tropical vacation?),  just like a bad penny, they have a bad habit of turning up again, usually when you’re not wearing makeup. If you have the same friends or go to the same school, odds are good that you are going to run into that old flame somewhere and you know how it is with old flames; they tend to catch fire all over again.

It’s easy to fall back into things with an ex; after all, there was a reason you were together in the first place, right? Plus, you know each other, you know the likes and dislikes and there’s none of the awkward “just starting out” stuff. You get to enjoy all of the heat and passion of doing something taboo, with someone who knows how to “do” you right. Read More »

Got a question for the Tuffster? Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

So I’m home from college for the summer and kind of lonely. I dated around this year at school but nothing serious like my high school boyfriend (let’s call him K). Anyway, K is home from school today and we’ve been hanging out but I know he wants to hook up and I think I do too. But I don’t want him to be my boyfriend when I go back to school. Should I hook up with him or not? I’m pretty sure I’m going to. Would that be screwed up?

Tricia

Dear Tricia,

So, like, this is a trick question because you’ve obviously already decided to hook up with him. Right? I mean, why are you gonna write to me and say you’re gonna do it then? Well, anyway, I think you should go for it, so I guess you’re in luck.

Here’re Tuffy’s thoughts: Read More »

Okay, so I know these playlists started as pregame playlists and we’ve definitely deviated a couple times. Oops.

And I dunno if it’s just the spring sunshine (er, rain right now), but I am feelin’ a little frisky. Which sucks. Because I’m single…and plan to stay that way.

But, I do have ONE option at my disposal: Sex with the Ex.

Now, even though I won’t actually do it (…at least not unless I have a good two to three white russians in my system), it is still fun to think about. Which I did. Through my hour and fifteen minute lecture on Scriptwriting.

So, naturally all this thinking led to fantasizing, and this fantasizing inevitably led to me creating a “Sex with the Ex” mix chock full of songs that would totally make any ex fall to his knees, you know, just in case. Like my own little secret weapon.

So, I’m not saying you have to use this mix for it’s original purpose, but I won’t judge you if you do.

Next week, I’ll give you some songs to drink to. Promise.
Check it out here.

Sex in college can be a tricky little endeavor. Sometimes it’s awkward, other times it’s out-of-this- world-amazing, and even other times it’s down right obnoxious (like when your partner finds it necessary to ask questions which require long-winded responses while doin’ the deed).

Then, the heat of the moment passes and you wake up resembling the Bride of Frankenstein only to realize that you just boned your best friend/ex-lover/a boy from your Psych class. And things get even messier. No pun intended.

You instantly turn into psycho b*tch and a million questions run through your head in a matter of milliseconds. Everything from, I wonder if he’s REALLY regretting that last shot of Jack? to planning an elaborate escape route to his front door without spilling any beer cans or waking up any of his roommates.

But perhaps the most important question that plagues your hungover mind is something like, What the f**k is going to happen now? Especially when the person you just screwed is a friend. Or a friend of a friend. Or in three of your classes. Seriously, is it even possible to maintain a platonic relationship with someone you just saw – and who saw you – in the buff, without makeup or a push-up bra?

In my opinion, what unfolds after the sheets are, um, unfolded depends a lot on who you’re gettin’ it on with. The state of affairs BEFORE the actual event greatly determines the way shite will go down afterwards. Read More »

So, I’m the queen of bad decision making. I probably shouldn’t embrace this to the degree that I do, but screw it; I think with my vagina sometimes and I love being spontaneous.

When my ex-boyfriend offered to buy me a plane ticket to go visit him for a few days, I knew exactly what was up. We’d had some sexy online conversations during the recent months (in fact, I even blogged about our sexy confrontations a few times before) and sex, after all, was what had kept us together (in my opinion) when we were dating. I accepted the offer, hopped on the plane and wrote the whole thing off as a vacation in my mind, even if nothing more happened.

But of course more did happen. Of course we had sex multiple times in multiple ways in multiple places. Of course we cuddled and reflected on days of old. Of course things felt the way they felt when we dated.

Yes, I know that everyone thinks this is a bad idea, but after having spent some time and thought on this recent voyage of mine, I believe ex-sex can be done, if you do it right. If you are considering it, don’t write it off just yet; I’ve got some tips for a successful trip down memory lane: Read More »