You wake up. You reach over to your bedside table, grab your ringing phone and click the dismiss button to stop the alarm. Phone still in hand, you rub your left eye, but leave the right one open and peek at the device in your palm. Eleven new emails and four texts. You check them sleepily–texts from your mom, your sister and two from your best friend. Then move on to the emails–one from work, a few from school, some announcing sales at your favorite stores and lastly, a notification that John Smith wants to be your friend on Facebook. John Smith? Who is that?

Getting out of bed, you plop down in front of your computer and pull up the social networking site. You check out John Smith, but still don’t know who he is. Then you realize he has sent you a message. “Hey, we met at a bar the other night. It wasn’t anything big, we just introduced ourselves. How are you?” You still don’t really remember him, but you accept the friend request anyway. Then you go back to your news feed, where you see that your friend in Texas has put up new pictures. Clicking through them, you realize you haven’t talked to her in almost two years, but still know most of what’s going on in her life. Read More »

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Dear Former Facebook Friend,

How is everything? I don’t know anything about your life anymore because I’m not getting constant updates on my phone and computer. We can still be friends in real life though!

I’m sorry I had to cut you out of my friends list. I think it’s really awesome that even though you had an exam at 7:30 this morning, you still went out last night and had the time of your life (I assume from the pictures you posted). I stayed in studying for the exam all night, and I just can’t bear to see your status next week telling the whole internet you got an A+ when I got a C. Hearing how smart you are and how much of a social life you have makes me want to drop out of school and be a telephone operator.

I’m also really glad that you have a super hot boyfriend and an amazing family who sends you care packages filled with money and candy every week (It’s so cool that you can eat all that candy and be a size 00!), but sometimes reading about all of your happiness makes me want drown the both of us.  So for both of our safety, I just had to de-friend you. Read More »

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We are all guilty of Facebook stalking. All of us! And I’m going to tell you that I think that’s perfectly okay. Isn’t that what Facebook is for? The hard part about Facebook stalking is that you can never let people know that you do it or else you will be known as a creep (even though the people calling you a creep Facebook stalk as much as you do, if not more).

If you’re reading this and you’re in denial that you are a Grade-A Facebook stalker or you think you’re a Facebook stalker and just want it confirmed, check out these five signs that you are a certified NORMAL PERSON BECAUSE WE ALL DO IT. Read More »

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When the almighty Facebook was first created, it was intended to be a network devoted to fostering connections with future classmates (and friends) at your future school. Fast forward a few years and Facebook is a melting pot for parents, preteens, companies, celebrities and anything else you can imagine Facebook connecting you to.

Remember when MySpace was cool?  Well, as is often said around the office: MySpace is the poor man’s Facebook. Or if that doesn’t work for you, how about this: MySpace is the pedophile’s Facebook. You might prefer one to the other but both get an A for being equally acceptable judgments. Although MySpace might take the cake for the invention of the duck-beak, kissy-face photos that girls just love to post as their default.

Moral of the story: When Facebook hit the scene, America nixed MySpace quicker than Ronnie could pass on Sammi. Read More »

Today in the ultimate social networking coup, the Daily Mail reported that a loophole in the Facebook photo privacy settings allowed one savvy individual to access Mark Zuckerberg’s private photo albums. The rest is internet history. From hanging out with his girlfriend and puppy  to catching, killing and cooking his own chicken, it’s clear that Mark has a pretty typical interesting life.

Take a look below at our favorites and click here for the full collection of photos. Read More »

Everyone has a love/hate relationship with Facebook. One day you’re cursing Zuckerberg for the barely existent privacy settings and the next day you’re praising him for those same lax settings. After all, it’s pretty hard to creep on your crush when you can’t find him on Facebook. How can love ever blossom if you don’t even know the last time he m-uploaded? But the worst thing about Facebook isn’t the privacy issues and it isn’t the fact your Grandma now has Farmville in her vocabulary. No, it’s those annoying people who dominate your newsfeed. And the worst thing is, they could be anyone. A frenemy, an old elementary school friend, your best friend or even (dun dun dun), YOU!

Scared? Read on and see if you are the annoying Facebook friend.

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