Mmm. Afterbirth...

I’m all for living an organic lifestyle. There’s simply no reason not to. But I draw the line at smearing birthing excrement on my face.

Gross, I know, but Hollywood is telling me that the new fountain of youth comes from the very beginning of youth itself.  So alert the media: the new craze for the beauty-obsessed is placenta facials.

Just to make sure we’re all clear, placenta is a temporary organ joining the mother and fetus. It transfers oxygen and nutrients from the mother to the fetus, and permits the release of carbon dioxide and waste products from the fetus. But don’t worry, the facial itself is “ordinary-smelling.” Phew, because I smelling like afterbirth and fetal waste is the real problem here.

Although it may be vile, placenta is rich in proteins and zinc, so it can’t be discredited just because it came out of someone’s birth canal.  And it’s not like weirder things haven’t happened.

I blame Victoria Beckham. She told the world she was rubbing bird poop on her face and the next thing you know people are scraping fresh droppings off their windshields and saving it for a nighttime facial treatment. I believe this was at the same time people were using bull’s semen as a leave-in conditioner. That just leaves me wondering how said semen was protracted. All kinds of nasty.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a rash of Placenta Snatchers showing up bedside at the birth of children everywhere, led by none other than Joan Rivers. Protect your placenta, new mothers.

Oh, the things people will do for beauty.

Unlike most politicians, Barney Frank doesn’t mince words.

Mr. Belding’s back. And he sings.

Give yourself an at-home facial.

4 signs he’ll be good in bed.

Why does Richard Hatch keep getting arrested?

Well, that kid’s gonna be totally effed up.

Does he want forgiveness…or a comeback?

Salon facial while you sleep!

A dog. With eyebrows.

America is starting to turn on Jon Gosselin.

Why are people booing Sexy David Beckham?

The chicest shorts in town.

Mmmm sperm!

So apparently all those frat guys during my last four years of university had it right all along – sperm really does have many health benefits.  A Norwegian company called Bioforskning (which sounds like the owner may have had a mouthful of something when she was asked to name the company) has developed a facial treatment to minimize wrinkles and smooth skin utilizing spermine, an element in human sperm.

Human. Sperm. WTF??

First of all, let’s just sit back and appreciate the thought process that had to have gone into this product.  Who came up with it?  Who was sitting around and thinking, “Oh you know what, I bet jizz is really good for your skin, let me test this out and then sell it for hundreds of dollars”??  I tell you what, when sperm is that close to my face, my skin care routine is usually the last thing on my mind.  The first thing?  “Argh, point that thing somewhere else!”

Secondly, this “treatment” can cost up to $250 per session.  Seriously? What happened to the days when jizz on your face was an unhappy accident after a night of too many free (and probably warm) beers in the basement of a fraternity house on the side of campus you usually avoid? And instead of thinking, “Oh hey, I should probably let this sink into my skin and give it a second to see if it does anything beneficial,” weren’t we all (those of us who were “blessed” enough to be in the beta stages of this beauty regimen) thinking, “Where’s my face wash??”

Although Botox and  plastic surgery get a lot of flack, I feel a bit more warm to the idea of someone injecting pig fat or whatever it is into my face now that I know a sperm facial (didn’t that use to be a euphemism for something?) is the alternative treatment.  At any rate, I hope this development doesn’t leak to those frat guys (or really, any sexually active male), otherwise this fall’s crop of freshman girls have a whole new thing coming to them (all puns intended).

[Ever see something you want but don’t have the money to buy? Ever get sick of studying/watching TV and have the urge to get crafty and make things on your own? We know! Us too! We just don’t know where to start, which is why we got some of CollegeCandy’s craftiest writers to share their favorite DIY projects with everyone. So get to your nearest craft store for the essentials and let’s make some fun sh*t.]

In these tough economic times, everyone is penny-pinching. Everyone is also totally stressing, including college-age women, about money, about finding a job, about passing that last exam so you can pass the class and head home for a summer of beaching and BBQ.

And while you wouldn’t waste any money on an expensive massage or other relaxing spa treatment, you really need it, dammit! You’ve been studying for weeks now and all that stress is taking a toll on your body.

If you need a little luxury in your life that doesn’t put a strain on your already-thinning wallet, keep reading. I’ve got a homemade chocolate face mask that is cheap, simple, relaxing, and will get your pores looking as fresh and clean as the $100 spa alternative.

It’s also kind of delicious. Not that I ever tried it… Read More »

Let’s talk about skin care. Go into any beauty retailer, find a sales person and ask them to recommend a skin care regimen. Then duck, because you are about to get hit with an avalanche of products your skin “needs.” They’re going to try to sell you a makeup remover, a cleanser, a scrub, a toner, a serum, a moisturizer, a spot treatment, an eye cream and a sunscreen. A really ambitious sales person will try to sell you two of each, a different one for day and night.

Now in a perfect world an elaborate skin care regimen can be very good for your skin, but let’s get real. When you’re coming back to the dorm at 4am and crashing, your makeup smearing off on the pillow is the closet thing you get to skin care.

It is a good idea to have a solid skin care system, especially if you have an issue like acne or dry patches that need treatment. But with so many steps, it’s all or nothing and you need a back up plan that you’ll actually use and that actually works!

So when time is tight or you are feeling lazy there are three very important steps to hit.

1. Remove makeup

2. Cleanse

3. Moisturize

Here are some products that can kill two (or three) birds with one stone. Read More »

Ever have one of those weeks when you are so crazy busy you don’t even have time to realize how tired you are? Yeah, that’s how we feel right now.

We spent our week planning our Halloween costume, trying not to die from our Birth Control (not that we need it, considering how long we’ve been single), trying to understand the purpose of a threesome, avoiding scary movies, attempting to get our awful roommate to move out, and trying to find the perfect sweater dress for fall.

Ugh. Even our Hump Day was stressful with both the big presidential debate and the season finale of Project Runway on at the same time.

It’s a good thing we learned a few beauty tricks to fix those undereye circles; otherwise, we would have looked like one hot mess.

Thankfully it’s Friday, which means lots of time to r-e-l-a-x. We just aren’t sure which way is better: a few yoga classes, or a bird poop facial??

[Make-up is wonderful, but it can also be confusing. There are so many shades and colors and sheens and reasons to wear it that a girl can get completely lost attempting to find what fits her face best. What’s the best blush color for a redhead? How do you really put on lip-liner? Is there such a thing as too much eyeshadow?

In this weekly series, actress / model and fabulous CC blogger, Jen, will be using her make-up know how to teach us all how to look flawless in class, out at a party, or grabbing coffee with that cutie from Psych 101.]

This week Jen gives us the lowdown on skincare: keeping it clean, beautiful and not-so-obvious that you were up until 4am playing Quarters with the roommates writing a paper. Grab a pen and paper – you will want to take notes.

If you have a specific make-up question, leave a message in the CC Facebook group, or email Lauren@collegecandy.com with the title “CC Make-Up Question,” and she’ll make sure Jen hears your woes and addresses them.

Jessica Simpson is set to rake in 3 million dollars to renew her deal with the pimple poppers over at Proactiv.

Basically, this means she gets more money than she gets to star in all of her blockbuster Hollywood films…to just stay kinda pretty and smile a lot. But get this! In the past, Jessica the Genius has gone on record saying that it was the prescription Accutane that cleared up her zits.

It wasn’t until she signed a contract with Proactiv in 2005 that she had what seems like a change of heart:

“I just had so much build up and so many clogged pores that once I started using Proactiv Solution, my face was just shining. I’m passionate about Proactiv because it worked for me and it gave me so much confidence.“

Maybe her face was shining because she’d returned to being excessively oily after the effects of Accutane wore off. Or maybe she’s just, you know, lying to make a ton of cash for putting in almost no effort. Read More »

Apples and Pumpkins. That’s fall. Apples, Pumpkins, and realizing it’s too cold for that little skirt but not cold enough to go back and change.

Oh, and fall is also about wind.

Harsh wind that will do a number to that delicate, summer sun-kissed face of yours if you’re not careful. A delicate, sun-kissed face that can be totally repaired by pumpkin.

See how we went full circle there?

To keep that beautiful face of yours beautiful, I’ve found the best, all natural pumpkin facial around. It smoothes and repairs, and best of all, smells awesome.

Ingredients

2 teaspoons cooked or canned pumpkin, pureed

one-half teaspoon honey

one-quarter teaspoon milk (or soymilk)

Directions

Combine all your ingredients and apply to your face—just don’t shove it into your eyes.

Hang out for 10-15 minutes, then wash your face with warm water and apply your normal moisturizer. Read More »