So, we all know who Carrie Prejean is.
And I’m pretty sure we’re all sick of her.

But just in case you weren’t completely and utterly tired of Miss California (yes, she is still Miss CA) and her shenanigans, we came up with 5 new ideas for her to try to keep herself in the limelight for just a liiittle bit longer. If none of these work, perhaps bunking up with Spencer Pratt would help. We can’t seem to get rid of him no matter how hard we try.

1) Create her own line of Prejean Panties (bras not included). Evidently, Prejean think bras, or any tops, are overrated. At least, she likes posing without them. While Prejean said herself, “I am not perfect,” we imagine she will soon follow that up with, “But I can make your butt look that way!”

2) Start her own blingin’ jewelry line on QVC. She obviously doesn’t have enough shiny, glittery, oversized, tacky ice already. So why not start her own line? If she makes those hoops just a little bit longer, they may even cover her exposed chest! Read More »

Dear Carrie Prejean,

When Perez Hilton attacked you for your answer to his question about gay marriage, I wanted to defend you.  Not because I agree with your stance on gay marriage–which I actually disagree with–but because I wanted to give you credit for being honest and not giving a phony canned answer that you knew would help you win.  You stuck by your beliefs, even if they weren’t P.C.

But this morning I heard that you’re planning to launch a campaign against gay marriage.

Since the day after the Miss USA pageant aired, you’ve been all. over. TV. talking about how you know your answer cost you the pageant, but you would stand by it.  I gotta say – I’m getting a little sick of all the attention you’re getting.

It seems like to me that this whole thing has gone from you speaking out for what you believe in to just another way for you to get media exposure. No one ever remembers the runner-up…unless she does something ridiculous to stay in the headlines…

Don’t get me wrong, I still think you’re allowed to have your beliefs, even if I don’t agree with them, but now I think you’re taking it a little too far.  Yes, farther than Perez.

You say that the reason you oppose gay marriage is because it goes against the “traditional values” of our country.  Excuse me, but you’re in a beauty pageant–how does prancing around in a bikini with a spray tan and breast implants support “traditional values”?  You know what I want to start?  A campaign against beauty pageants for setting unrealistic and unattainable standards of beauty for young women.  Read More »

Since the beginning of our plethora of Piven, a lot of people have come out the woodwork saying how much they agree with us (seriously, fan letters!), but there are also a lot of you out there who are confused. WTF? you’ve been saying, He looks dirty and is probably a douche.

Well, maybe. But if no one will stand up and say “I don’t believe it!” how will our 40-Something fantasy ever shed the assh*le cloak so many have tried to wrap him in? (Like that metaphor? Yeah.) So today, dear readers, we lay to rest our week-long J. Piv love fest with a proclamation: until we find out about him doing something morally reprehensible (like wearing purple satin pants or something), we are proud to call ourselves Piven’s #1 fansite on the web.

We are also giving Piven a chance to be awesome in real life this weekend, when one of your editors will attempt to get student rush tickets (I may be out of college but my ID still works, suckers!) to that new Broadway show he’s starring in. With student rush, one never knows if they’ll be sitting behind a pole in the back of the theater or close enough to get spit on, but if I am close enough…well, J Piv, if you’re reading this (and why wouldn’t you be? We’re you’re #1 fansite!)…I’ll be the redhead who may or may not flash you during curtain call.

Note: I do not have fake boobs, but if you decide to date me, you’ll enhance your reputation threefold, because you’ll be dating a regular person. How can you get more likable than being a famous celebrity dating a regular person? You can’t. Except maybe if you’re this guy.

Double Note: We did not photoshop the picture in this article. Someone did that all by themselves…

[Take a look at a video after the jump that confirms our beliefs that Jeremy is in fact NOT a douche] Read More »

(In our first ever weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff], we decided to tackle the possibly oily but strangely hot Jeremy Piven.

If you have an expensive cable package, you love him as Ari on Entourage, and if you’ve only got basic, you love him from the small to medium roles he’s played in tons of various movies that were not always good. Now, on with the GWWEeeing…)

Two Sundays ago, the Emmy’s were on. I don’t watch the Emmy’s because they’re boring and everyone is always thanking God — who probably doesn’t give a crap about your little gold statue when there are wars and famines going on all over the globe — but I happened to switch over to it during a commercial break from TLC’s Incredible Medical Mysteries (best show ever. TiVo it NOW).

The part of the snooze-fest I ended up catching was Jeremy Piven’s heartfelt acceptance speech for his 3rd Emmy for Entourage. And something just…happened. I was inexplicably drawn to his chiseled boyish middle-agedness. My insides got all hot and tingly. There was a need to see what he was rocking underneath that tux.

Maybe it was his fantabulous hair plugs. Or wig. Maybe it was his new cut bod. Maybe he went to a voodoo lady and found a potion to make girls almost 20 years his junior want to eff him. Whatever he did. It worked. I want to eff all 43 years of him. Read More »

I am Jewish, so I really don’t know much about Sunday morning church services. But I can guess that most people’s don’t include a silicon filled bimbo and her not-so-pretty-boy boyfriend sitting in the pews.

But that is the unfortunate truth for some Church-goers in L.A.

You would never guess by looking at her, but it seems that Heidi Montag is quite a religious little lady. And she’s bringing Spencer along for the ride. Sure, she values boobs over life and has probably broken all 10 commandments…daily, but she loves God! And church! And (getting Chanel bags for) Christmas!

Anyways, Pratt recetly revealed his new love for Jesus in an interview with Us Weekly.

“I’m a work in progress. I’d never been to church until I met Heidi,” he tells Yo on E!. “She got me to go — it was a big step. The walls shook a little bit as I first cruised in, but Jesus and I are making the connection.

“I’m trying to live a more positive, holy life, but it takes work,” he adds. “It’s hard not sinning, you know?”

I didn’t know churches let people like Spencer in. And I know Jesus loves everyone, but Spencer Pratt? I get this feeling he may make an exception for him. I mean, this dude made a deal with the devil and is poisoning the world with his….everything.

Let’s just hope this new religious leaf Spencer is turning over will change him. And not in a, “Heidi is making a Christian album” sort of way.

Please, God, don’t let it happen.

(Note: I can’t believe I just wrote a post with the words “Jesus” and “Spencer Pratt” in it. Forgive me for I have sinned.)

Julia Child: kitchen goddess and…spy?!

The U.S. is gonna look a lot different…and soon.

Women are taking over the world one random competition at a time.

Who knew college debates could be so exciting?!

Fake boobs on a 14 year old? Only in the Lohan house…

Whenever we are feeling down, we like to remind ourselves how much we have going for us. Like brains.

Put an end to world hunger…with dead rats?

Thank your lucky stars that this girl is not your roommate.

Help this man achieve his lifelong dream!

Universities join the Green movement. Is your school Green?

Looks like Michael Phelps and I are on the same diet.

A daily dose of Olympic Eye Candy

Get ready for Fall fashion with Target’s newest Go! International line.

Last night’s episode of I Love Money was filled with lots of excitement and some serious dramazzzzz (did I call that or what people?!).

The challenge consisted of picking partners – before everyone knew the challenge, of course – and sitting with them at little tables, where the host then informed the teams that they were in a kissing challenge; meaning, you had to kiss your partner and the longest maker-outers won for their team. It was all fun and games until Chance – admittedly homophobic – and his partner, Mr. Boston, realized they had to lock lips on national television.

Once again, Chance botched the challenge, losing the game for the Green Team. I know you’re part of the Stallionaires and everything buddy, and have your reputation to protect, but it was for a split second and then you could stop (each player had to just touch lips in order to not be disqualified and Chance wouldn’t even do that)…talk about a team player. Read More »

From Tori Spelling to Pamela Anderson (to this crazy woman), implants are all the rage. But, why? Are they really attractive? Sexy? Worth it? We asked our resident guy to weigh in before we let our opinions loose. Read on for some very interesting stuff.

He Said:

Fake breasts are not impressive. That is basically the short and the tall of the matter. Sure, they are boobs, and sure, they are big, but that fake modifier is something that changes the way men look at breasts. They become only really something to look at, and not an object of sexual attraction or desire. It’s almost as if the male psyche likes to look at fake boobs as if to say, “Real boobs – that big would be cool…if they were real.” Read More »

This is too good not to bring to the world’s attention.

A-Number One King of the Douchenuggets Spencer Pratt appeared on the Late Show on Friday night where he was subjected to five minutes of relentless belittling at the hands of David Letterman. In his usual smile-for-the-camera brotastic manner, Pratt attempted to defend himself against Letterman’s not-so-veiled allegations that he is, in fact, an epic waste of human flesh, but, well…a spade’s a spade, right?

Click here to watch the interview – there’s a special treat at the end! And by special I mean meh. And by treat I mean fake jugs. And by end I mean Heidi Montag. Woo hoo?