We were talking about porn a couple weeks ago, and for some reason that article got me labeled as being a bit of a porn hater. To set the record straight – I dig porn, I watch porn, I think porn’s a good time. And more often than not, I think porn is hilarious.

Yeah, that’s right, I said it. I know that porno movies are supposed to be sexy and get their viewers all horny, but I find if I’m not already in the mood at least a little, they just make me laugh. Seriously, have you ever actually listened to the dialogue they put in those movies?

While I realize some people are genuinely concerned that porn will skew younger generations’ views of sex, I’m not here to talk about that this week. I’m here to talk about the ridiculous myths that are portrayed in porn (not to be confused with the ridiculous myths that are portrayed in movies). The ones so completely off base that not even the most naïve pubescent boy would believe them. Well, maybe they would, but I hope they’re the only ones…

Porn: All delivery men/plumbers/electricians are ridiculously good looking, and you will end up having sex with them when they come to “deliver your package,” “unclog your pipes” or give you some “high voltage” lovin’.” Okay, so I don’t actually know a sexy term that can be made out of an electrician’s work, so I used a bit of an AC/DC reference instead. But you get the point.
Real life: Um, have you seen the guys that typically do those things in real life? I’m not hating on these people, but usually they’re hairy, old, and fat, with their cracks showing. Or at least the ones that always “service” my apartment. If they do happen to be good looking, they’re probably married. And I mean, if you sleep with your plumber, who are you going to call when the toilet gets clogged? Embarrassing… Read More »

Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of getting the pity-eyes as you sift through the Self-Help section at your campus bookstore? Over wondering what those boys are thinking?  We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question (Why is my ex sending such mixed signals?) over to askthedude@collegecandy.com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time.  So bring it on, ladies.]

Hey Dude,
I have issues with self-esteem. Even though I know I’m fairly attractive (5’9, blonde, tan skin, brown eyes, telling you this so you get a perspective on the issue) dress pretty well, and don’t have a problem getting guys attracted to me, I have no boobs. Yes, I’m flat, and it’s not like I’m super skinny so my body just looks way out of proportion. I have contemplated plastic surgery just so that I can feel completely comfortable showing off my body. I want implants because I worry about guys judging me on the type of body I have wayyyy too much. Now that I’m going to get surgery though, I’m scared that guys will just judge me more for going through with this than just staying with my size.

What is your take on a girl with fake boobs? I am doing it for ME, not for anyone else, but I don’t want to regret my decision when a boy is like “you were so insecure that you actually got implants? Wow, you are not the girl I thought you were.”

Looking forward to your reply,
-Oregon Girl Read More »

During a visit to ‘On Air with Ryan Seacrest’ on Monday, Heidi Montag explained the ramifications of her extensive plastic surgery: the ‘Hills’ star says her newly large chest is too big for jogging… and hugging is a thing of the past. “I’m very weird about hugging people now — [my body] is very fragile,” Montag announced on the radio show, according to Us Weekly.

Montag listed nose, cheekbone and chin jobs, eyebrow lift, breast enlargement, fat injections — and told Seacrest, “I had my back scooped.” When the host asked for clarification, Montag admitted, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”

And, uh, she’s got the entire thing on film. Read the rest of Heidi’s interview right here.

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman (unless she happens to be charging at us with her fists raised), so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like socks with sandals!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

In case you’ve been living in a hole for the past week (or, you know, busy paying attention to important world events), Heidi Montag got plastic surgery… like seriously! While we and pretty much everyone else has been clear on what we think about her new “look,” it got me thinking. One of the big things people have pointed out about Heidi’s work (aside from the sheer number of surgeries) is her age – specifically that she seems incredibly young to be having work done.

Now we’re not talking about medically necessary surgeries or reconstruction here, I’m talking the pure “make me pretty because I want it” type of thing, and I admit, I can see the appeal. While I have always been a proponent of the “love yourself the way you are” mentality, there are definitely days where I have wished I could wake up with a smaller nose or bigger boobs or a magically flat tummy – and I know I’m not alone. I was always taught that self-esteem is important, and most of us wouldn’t think twice about, say, coloring our hair or getting a gym membership to boost our self-image.

Isn’t plastic surgery just an (admittedly extreme) extension of that?  Read More »

I love the way I look. I’m confident and generally pleased with my body in a bikini. Well, at least I am now… after my breast enhancement. That’s right, I have implants and I’m not ashamed of it.

I’ll give you a moment to get all your thoughts and comments out of the way:

“I can’t believe you succumbed to breast implants just to fill some ignorant societal notion that ‘bigger is better.’”
“Getting implants is so slutty.”
“You’re an embarrassment to women and should be ashamed for fueling the fire for women to attain an impossible body image.”

Trust me. I’ve heard it all. But maybe it’s time for you to hear my side of the story. I’m not giving you the stink eye for going all natural (or spending all your money on Victoria’s Secret’s latest push-up), so hear me out. Read More »

So, we all know who Carrie Prejean is.
And I’m pretty sure we’re all sick of her.

But just in case you weren’t completely and utterly tired of Miss California (yes, she is still Miss CA) and her shenanigans, we came up with 5 new ideas for her to try to keep herself in the limelight for just a liiittle bit longer. If none of these work, perhaps bunking up with Spencer Pratt would help. We can’t seem to get rid of him no matter how hard we try.

1) Create her own line of Prejean Panties (bras not included). Evidently, Prejean think bras, or any tops, are overrated. At least, she likes posing without them. While Prejean said herself, “I am not perfect,” we imagine she will soon follow that up with, “But I can make your butt look that way!”

2) Start her own blingin’ jewelry line on QVC. She obviously doesn’t have enough shiny, glittery, oversized, tacky ice already. So why not start her own line? If she makes those hoops just a little bit longer, they may even cover her exposed chest! Read More »

Dear Carrie Prejean,

When Perez Hilton attacked you for your answer to his question about gay marriage, I wanted to defend you.  Not because I agree with your stance on gay marriage–which I actually disagree with–but because I wanted to give you credit for being honest and not giving a phony canned answer that you knew would help you win.  You stuck by your beliefs, even if they weren’t P.C.

But this morning I heard that you’re planning to launch a campaign against gay marriage.

Since the day after the Miss USA pageant aired, you’ve been all. over. TV. talking about how you know your answer cost you the pageant, but you would stand by it.  I gotta say – I’m getting a little sick of all the attention you’re getting.

It seems like to me that this whole thing has gone from you speaking out for what you believe in to just another way for you to get media exposure. No one ever remembers the runner-up…unless she does something ridiculous to stay in the headlines…

Don’t get me wrong, I still think you’re allowed to have your beliefs, even if I don’t agree with them, but now I think you’re taking it a little too far.  Yes, farther than Perez.

You say that the reason you oppose gay marriage is because it goes against the “traditional values” of our country.  Excuse me, but you’re in a beauty pageant–how does prancing around in a bikini with a spray tan and breast implants support “traditional values”?  You know what I want to start?  A campaign against beauty pageants for setting unrealistic and unattainable standards of beauty for young women.  Read More »

Since the beginning of our plethora of Piven, a lot of people have come out the woodwork saying how much they agree with us (seriously, fan letters!), but there are also a lot of you out there who are confused. WTF? you’ve been saying, He looks dirty and is probably a douche.

Well, maybe. But if no one will stand up and say “I don’t believe it!” how will our 40-Something fantasy ever shed the assh*le cloak so many have tried to wrap him in? (Like that metaphor? Yeah.) So today, dear readers, we lay to rest our week-long J. Piv love fest with a proclamation: until we find out about him doing something morally reprehensible (like wearing purple satin pants or something), we are proud to call ourselves Piven’s #1 fansite on the web.

We are also giving Piven a chance to be awesome in real life this weekend, when one of your editors will attempt to get student rush tickets (I may be out of college but my ID still works, suckers!) to that new Broadway show he’s starring in. With student rush, one never knows if they’ll be sitting behind a pole in the back of the theater or close enough to get spit on, but if I am close enough…well, J Piv, if you’re reading this (and why wouldn’t you be? We’re you’re #1 fansite!)…I’ll be the redhead who may or may not flash you during curtain call.

Note: I do not have fake boobs, but if you decide to date me, you’ll enhance your reputation threefold, because you’ll be dating a regular person. How can you get more likable than being a famous celebrity dating a regular person? You can’t. Except maybe if you’re this guy.

Double Note: We did not photoshop the picture in this article. Someone did that all by themselves…

[Take a look at a video after the jump that confirms our beliefs that Jeremy is in fact NOT a douche] Read More »

(In our first ever weekly installment of G.W.W.E [Guys We Want to Eff], we decided to tackle the possibly oily but strangely hot Jeremy Piven.

If you have an expensive cable package, you love him as Ari on Entourage, and if you’ve only got basic, you love him from the small to medium roles he’s played in tons of various movies that were not always good. Now, on with the GWWEeeing…)

Two Sundays ago, the Emmy’s were on. I don’t watch the Emmy’s because they’re boring and everyone is always thanking God — who probably doesn’t give a crap about your little gold statue when there are wars and famines going on all over the globe — but I happened to switch over to it during a commercial break from TLC’s Incredible Medical Mysteries (best show ever. TiVo it NOW).

The part of the snooze-fest I ended up catching was Jeremy Piven‘s heartfelt acceptance speech for his 3rd Emmy for Entourage. And something just…happened. I was inexplicably drawn to his chiseled boyish middle-agedness. My insides got all hot and tingly. There was a need to see what he was rocking underneath that tux.

Maybe it was his fantabulous hair plugs. Or wig. Maybe it was his new cut bod. Maybe he went to a voodoo lady and found a potion to make girls almost 20 years his junior want to eff him. Whatever he did. It worked. I want to eff all 43 years of him. Read More »

I am Jewish, so I really don’t know much about Sunday morning church services. But I can guess that most people’s don’t include a silicon filled bimbo and her not-so-pretty-boy boyfriend sitting in the pews.

But that is the unfortunate truth for some Church-goers in L.A.

You would never guess by looking at her, but it seems that Heidi Montag is quite a religious little lady. And she’s bringing Spencer along for the ride. Sure, she values boobs over life and has probably broken all 10 commandments…daily, but she loves God! And church! And (getting Chanel bags for) Christmas!

Anyways, Pratt recetly revealed his new love for Jesus in an interview with Us Weekly.

“I’m a work in progress. I’d never been to church until I met Heidi,” he tells Yo on E!. “She got me to go — it was a big step. The walls shook a little bit as I first cruised in, but Jesus and I are making the connection.

“I’m trying to live a more positive, holy life, but it takes work,” he adds. “It’s hard not sinning, you know?”

I didn’t know churches let people like Spencer in. And I know Jesus loves everyone, but Spencer Pratt? I get this feeling he may make an exception for him. I mean, this dude made a deal with the devil and is poisoning the world with his….everything.

Let’s just hope this new religious leaf Spencer is turning over will change him. And not in a, “Heidi is making a Christian album” sort of way.

Please, God, don’t let it happen.

(Note: I can’t believe I just wrote a post with the words “Jesus” and “Spencer Pratt” in it. Forgive me for I have sinned.)