Let’s be honest, we’ve all faked it with a guy at one time or another.  Sometimes we’re completely turned off and not into it, and sometimes we’ve got a frozen pizza in the oven and we’re starving. Whatever the reason may be, there are times women just need to speed up the process of “getting off” by faking an orgasm so that you can get off of us.

Here’s a list of 15 reasons why women fake the big “O.”

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Katie is finishing up her undergrad at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on Facebook and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her @KatieGarrity!

So last time we ran a post like this, you ladies learned a lot about sex, even though you didn’t really think you needed to when you first clicked the link. 171 Facebook shares later, it was clear that you learned A LOT more than you expected. Even though we’re young, college girls living the college life, we don’t know sex like we think we do. Especially since the rest of the world keeps coming up with all this new (and sometimes useful) information. So check out the links below, and discover what you didn’t know about sex, the pros, the cons, and everything in between.

1. You are better than a booty call.

Because casual sex isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

2. There is such a thing as mismatched libidos.

And they can cause a lot of dissatisfaction.

3. You need to stop faking it.

And apparently, it’s a 15 step process.

4. It’s not just people we can be attracted to.

I’m talking robots, ponies, and mannequins…

5. You can’t stop half way there.

Unlike men, unless women are continuously stimulated our sexual tension can drop instantaneously.

6. If you’re sexually inactive you can now blame it on your name.

A  study shows that French women whose names end in “a” are more sexually active than others.

7.  You don’t have to be on top. But you can be.

One woman talks about how she discovered that in the bedroom, she didn’t always need to be in control.

8. Sex can make you happier and healthier.

Sex can improve you mood, make you look younger, and give you clear skin.

9. It’s about compromise.

Lights on or lights off? One psychologists tells us how to compromise with each other without compromising ourselves.

10. Certain strands of HPV can cause oral cancer.

HPV-16 and 18 can cause cervical cancer, and now researchers say that  HPV-16, transmitted through oral sex can cause oral cancer.

Want to learn 10 more things about sex? Check out the original post!

It doesn’t mean that some things aren’t better faked.

Sometimes you just don’t have the time to read the New York Times every morning, or take up sailing to impress the hot preppy guy in your economics class, or even make sure your life isn’t a complete disaster. In this case, sometimes a girl just has to fake it. Hey, you think I actually have time to read the whole Economist every week to fit in with my superstar Ivy peers? Hells no.

How to Fake Knowing About Current Events:

1. Pick up the Economist from the library, read the first 5 pages where they summarize all the major events that happened in the past week in bullet points.

2. Skim the world section of the Times every morning, usually you can pick up the main points in 10 minutes- things in Iraq continue to go to hell, terrorism lives on, etc.

3. Every Sunday the Times summarizes all the major news stories of the previous week. Plus all the stories rock.

How to Fake Sexual Skill

1. You don’t really have to; most guys are thrilled to have you naked at all.

2. Reverse cowgirl. It’s so easy, but so effective. It’s like girl on top, only you face backwards. Guys love this move, especially if you’re wearing cute underwear.

3. A little moaning always fixes everything. No seriously, it does. Bonus points for a hair toss now and then.

How to Fake Being Preppy (in case your boyfriend invites you home … in CT)

1. Put on cable knit sweater, add pearl earrings, throw on some Sperry’s. Bonus points for sporting pink and green.

2. Apply pink blush to the apples of your cheeks so it looks like you just got back from brisk row.

3. Throw a copy of “The Official Preppy Handbook” in your monogrammed L.L. Bean tote (you know – in case you need to sneak off to the bathroom for a reference).

How to Disguise the Freshman 15:

1. I can’t stress this enough; A black turtleneck. It makes your chest look huge and your waist tiny.

2. Dark denim jeans, knee length skirts, empire waists, black leggings. Whatever you do, avoid flats and skirts together like the plague.

3. If you don’t have time to exercise, 50-100 lunges a day will firm things up in a couple of weeks.

How to Fake Knowing About New Music:

1. Always have an obscure band to reference. Even better, have two: “Yeah, the new stuff from Arcade Fire is great, for sure, but doesn’t it sound a little like the Coke Squirrels’ second album?”

2. Memorize the names of the top bands on College Music’s Top Lists and listen to a clip from each on www.myspace.com. Throw around names liberally.

3. There is nothing like iTunes for checking up random bands without actually bothering to listen to, or pay to hear their full songs.

How to Fake Looking Good After Pulling An All-Nighter:

1. Visine and an eyelash curler for your bloodshot eyes; apricot blush for your pasty complexion; a high, tight ponytail for that sophisticated European scholar look.

2. Take off those grim sweatpants and throw on a pair of equally comfortable low slung cargo pants, tight camisole, topped off with a little cardigan. It feels like PJs but looks so damn good.

3. Lay off the coffee unless you want to kill your stomach lining; wash down a caffeine pill with a tall glass of orange juice instead. It’s a buzz with vitamins and minerals.

And who could forget Meg Ryan’s character in When Harry Met Sally producing the most infamous fake orgasm in movie history (if you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it now). In that scene, Sally proves she’s not only a great actress, but she also points out a rather sad but realistic fact  — “most women at one time or another have faked it.”

To do a little research for this article, I made my way over to Google and searched the simple term “faking it.” I was shocked –  there were at least 4 results on how to fake an orgasm, how to hide faking an orgasm, what it meant to fake an orgasm, and only one link on how to have an actual orgasm. And that was just the first page. Wait… what?

Allow me to let you in on a little secret: while we all have our reasons to fake it, if you want your partner to do what they need to do to make you have a real one, you have to stop faking your orgasms. Women get themselves into a vicious cycle once they fake it. It usually starts with good intentions because no one wants to hurt their partner’s feelings with the dreaded “I don’t think it’s going to happen.” So you fake it, everyone’s ego is intact, and you can carry on with your day. But here’s the problem – if your partner thinks they’re doing it right (right enough for you to finish) how will they know to change what they’re doing so you can actually get there? Well, that’s the thing, they won’t.

The biggest problem a lot of people have with their sex life is that they are afraid to communicate. As a woman, I know that we’re subliminally told that “nice girls” don’t ask for what they want in bed. There’s still a bit of 1950s mentality when it comes to women and sex, and that’s something that needs to change. If it’s not happening for you, talking to your partner about what you need is really the first step. Nicely, of course. Something along the lines of “hey, I saw this thing in a movie once and thought maybe we could try it…” or “I think (insert what you want here) would be really cool, let’s try it!”

So what if you’ve been faking it for three years and don’t know how to tell your partner? Well, that’s easy… don’t tell them. I know, I know, it sounds awful, but not as awful as your partner will feel when they find out you’ve been lying to them for three years. But you need to stop faking it. Pretend that not being able to finish is something new, and you don’t know why all of the sudden it’s just not working. How weird! But hey, maybe if your partner tries (insert what you want here), it might do the trick. And voila, hopefully there’ll be fireworks and toe curls and loud (authentic) screams in no time.

But all of this seems like a lot of work to reverse a mistake you made in the first place. Just don’t fake it, enjoy sex for what it is and try to take the pressure off. It helps to understand that it doesn’t have to end in orgasm every single time. And for you ladies who’ve never had an orgasm? Don’t worry, I’ll touch on masturbation and self exploration next week

Q

A: I’m sure many people would tell you that “honesty is the best policy,” and I agree…most of the time.

But hearing “I’ve been faking it” is tough to hear–and I should know, because I told an ex-boyfriend just that in a fit of post-breakup rage (I know). Sure, saying it out of anger is different than saying it because you’re ready to be honest about your needs and satisfaction–but if you’re planning on staying with him and working on your sexual relationship, I think there are better ways to work on that relationship than dealing him a low blow to the ego like that.

If you can get things on the right track without hurting him, why not do that?

Think about it, if he told you he’s been faking it for the past year (yes, guys can fake it!), would you be able to brush it off and jump in the saddle (so to speak) to start fresh? If it were me, I’d have a hell of a hard time feeling up for another roll in the hay.

But all is not lost. First thing’s first: stop faking. Not next week, not when it starts getting better, but now. Tonight. He won’t start doing the things that push your buttons if he thinks you’re into things you really could do without.

But there’s good news. If you’re truly thrilled with his performance 25% of the time, that means he’s doing something right. It’s time to be encouraging–very encouraging–when he does something you like. No need to scream like a porn star, but make sure (in your own way) that his moves don’t go unnoticed. Even if you’re on the quiet side in bed, an extra “mmm” or even a direct “I like that” will be noticed and noted by him.

While you’re consistently encouraging the good moves, you should also be subtly discouraging the not-so-good ones. Does he need to go faster, slower, a little to the left? No need for a Powerpoint presentation. Say it like an order in the heat of the moment while you’re in bed, and he’ll be happy to oblige.

What if the problem is more of the “he’s waaaay off” variety? Remember all the good stuff he was doing? Ask for more of that when he’s veering off course–a “do that thing I like” should do the trick. Feeling tongue-tied? Just grab his hand and put it where you want it.

What it comes down to is that this guy wants to please you, and you want to be pleased—so whichever way you say it, whether you use my suggestions or tell him upfront that you’ve been faking, the point is to just say it. You deserve to feel satisfied more than just once in a while–and the both of you will be happier once that happens.

Got a question for Pillow Talk? Email pillow.talk.cc@gmail.com and we’ll tackle your question next! Or join our CollegeCandy Facebook group and post your question there!

Photo courtesy of caylawonderful via Flickr.

My mom always told me to fake it till you make it, which has proved useful when I’m trying to flaunt my wine “skills”. Granted, I know a little bit after being around my sister (who legitimately knows about wine), but with my friends who know nothing, it’s easy to act like I am the all-knowing expert. Being an awesome sommelier bullshitter totally ups your awesome factor with the crowd. Also, your total wine-o habits have just been swept under the rug because wine is your “favorite pastime” or “new passion.” Trust me, drinking hasn’t been so fun since you first discovered the beer bong.

So here, with a little bit of help from the big sis (aka real wine expert), we show you how to fake it with wine until you make it to drunk!

Choosing a wine: I like to follow my ABC’s (Anything But Chardonnay) when I’m trying to show off my smarts. Here’s a good chance for you to say “I don’t drink Chardonnay, (insert choice wine) is much more (insert key word). You know so much you have an opinion! Or choose a wine from somewhere other than Italy. I like Spain. This gives you the perfect chance to insert the phrase “Spain is the new Italy.” See? You already sound awesome.

Swirl: When you pour the first glass for you and your girls (or if the waiter pours it) leave it on the table while you swirl. It’s actually hard to get a good swirl in while holding the glass. Do this a few times to “open it up.” Tell people this, faux sommelier!

Tip: Ignore the cork. Some people think that the cork has something to tell you about the wine. THEY’RE WRONG! You’ll appear more schooled if you just leave it alone. I mean, you’re eventually going to drink the whole bottle anyway!

Take a Look: The wine running down the inside of the glass after you swirl are called the legs. The faster the legs dissipate, the higher the alcohol content. This little factoid is sure to wow your booze hound friends but not your mother. Tip the glass back and forth and take a good look. Obviously, the intense staring means your looking for something. Why the hell else would you be looking so damn hard? This will make you seem very smart. Buzz words: clarity, intensity, legs

Smell: When you smell the wine, stick your nose in pretty far. You’ll feel like a tool, but come on, didn’t we all see Sideways? We’re ladies “in the know” so stick it in! Keep your mouth open while you sniff and smell from the top to the bottom of the glass, because the wine smells different in both places. Make sure you tell people this. It’s okay to boast, you rule. Buzz words: nose, bouquet, condition, intensity, clean, unclean, corked

Key Phrase: “Wow, this wine is really jumping out at me! I’m getting a lot on the nose!”

Tip: If the wine smells musty (think dark, damp basement and cardboard) this is from “cork taint.” Unfortunately, you have to tell the waiter (or the ass hole who bought the wine) that it’s corked. Not tainted. It really is too bad. I like that word.

Taste: Sweet Jesus, it’s time to taste! Leave the swish and suck (swishing in your mouth and sucking the air in) to the professionals. This is generally not a common practice for the ordinary woman. Taking a nice long sip and pausing to think about what you’ve just tasted (even if you have NO IDEA what you’ve just tasted) will make you look like you know what you’re doing in polite (or close to rowdy) company.

For the most part, wine is always dry unless you’ve ordered a specifically sweet wine. In the majority of wines, you’re going to taste a balance of fruit and earth. If you used to eat dirt as a kid, you should know what earth tastes like. You’ll taste red and black fruits in red wine (cherry, plum, raspberry, blackberry and blueberry) and pretty much all other fruits in white wine (lemon, lime, grapefruit, apple, kiwi or melon). If you really don’t taste anything, make it up. No one is going to contradict you because you are the expert! Buzz words: sweetness, acidity, tannin, body, length, palate, mid-palate, mouthfeel, fruit, earth

Key Phrase: “Gosh, that has a really long finish!” or “The mid-palate is soooooooo interesting!”

Now somebody cut the cheese and break the bread! We’ve got some drinking to do!

- I know what your saying, “I still haven’t finished all my SPRING sex positions ???”. I’m with ya, but put those spring things aside till next year and give these Summer Sex Positions a try. – (sexuall.org)

- Awaiting the July 10th release of Spoon’s highly anticipated forthcoming album Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, The Hood Internet has put together a mad-cool mash-up of the album’s first single “The Ghost of You” with none other than GhostFace Killah. – (stereogum.com)

- Win a KOOBA “Natasha” Handbag just by leaving a comment. Could it be any easier?

- VIDEO – Bird drops a bomb on Bush. (liveleak.com)

- Abs-olute Hotties. The results are in- CollegeCandy’s Top 10 Hottest Abs in Hollywood. (collegecandy.com)

- Facebook goes to market. Facebook has added a new Craigslist-esque feature allowing you to find and buy college related items in your area – (facebook.com)

-Celebrity Couple Casualties. Something must be in the air. Last week we saw the demise of John Mayer & Jessica Simpson, Joel Madden & Nicole Richie and Lilo & Calum Best. The Soho Grand will never be the same after Blohan tore the posh hotel to shreds in her underwear. – (gawker.com)

- Summer Cocktails: Is Bartles and James your idea of a refreshing summer drink??? You better read this. (drinkoftheweek.com)

- Sex Secrets Revealed: Why do women fake it? The answer might just suprise you. (collegecandy.com)

- Yee Haw!!! A former stripper in Texas is sentenced to 3 1/2 years for conspiring to embezzle more than 1 million dollars from an Austin bank to start her own Nascar team. (chron.com)

- Back and Better Than Ever. The White Stripes release the first video from their upcoming release “Icky Thump”. (collegecandy.com)

Sometimes we aren’t pushing your buttons right; other times, it wouldn’t matter what buttons we push or knobs we turn (metaphors girls… I sincerely hope that guys you’re with aren’t literally pushing buttons or turning knobs), it’s simply gonna be a lost cause.

And yet, apparently, girls still take the time to fake orgasms. Get out! And here this whole time I thought I was a sex Adonis, never failing to bring my girl to an earth-shattering orgasm. Who knew that at least some of those girls were giving Katie Holmes-esque performances!

Please. Although we may look it, and we sure as hell act like it, guys are not as naive about fake orgasms as some girls would like to believe. Yes, we know you fake orgasms. Obviously, we can’t really tell on an orgasm-to-orgasm basis, but with portrayals of fake orgasms becoming much more prevalent in every realm of pop culture, the majority of guys no longer live under the illusion that we haven’t been faked out at least a few times in our lives.

And there are two things you should know about it. For one, we think it’s pretty dumb to fake it, but if that’s how you wanna play it, that’s OK by us. And two, it’s really not necessary, especially if you’re doing it just to “protect” us.

First and foremost, regarding inadequacy, it’s not your orgasm (or lack thereof) that makes us feel inadequate. Guys strive to be good in bed for two reasons. We want you to enjoy it so you’ll invite us back into your beds, and we want you to enjoy it so you’ll brag about us to your friends, who might then invite us into their beds.

If you’re faking an orgasm because we’re plain awful in bed, it might make us feel good in the moment, but it’s not going to stop us from feeling miffed when you refuse our advances the next time around. Moreover, if you’re faking solely to make us feel better about ourselves, and then go gabbing to your gal pals about how you were FORCED to fake it, we’ll probably hear about eventually, and that’s just not good for anyone’s ego. So what’s the point?

Think about it in reverse… Say you were hooking up with a guy, decided to get a little saucy, and went down on him. He’s writhing around and making all the right sounds, which makes you feel like best thing to suck since the Hoover vacuum was invented.

Meanwhile, he’s actually writhing in pain, and while he said he stopped you so you guys two could get to the sex, he really just needed to get your teeth away from his crotch. He then proceeds to tell all his friends that you give head like a pit bull going after a ham bone. You think you’re still gonna feel good about yourself because he acted like you were giving him the utmost pleasure?

If you’re going to lie about your orgasm, wouldn’t it just be easier to tell the guy you’re with that while it feels utterly amazing, it’s just not your night? It’s effectively the same white lie, but it doesn’t unnecessarily inflate the guy’s ego.

Here’s something else you should understand: any guy who’s worth anything (ie one you should want to continue seeing) WANTS to get you off. That’s how he scores his points. But if you fake it and give him the impression that he’s succeeded, he’s gonna think he’s working you right instead of seeking out a different way to get the job done. Shouldn’t you be encouraging his search for your holy grail instead of stunting it’s growth?

For guys, unlocking the key to each girl’s unique orgasm is one of the great mysteries of our time. If you don’t want to take the time to help us figure out what works for you, and then choose to just fake it, you’re pretty much just setting yourself up for future disappointment.

In truth, the only time I can really understand girls throwing out a fake “O” would be during an encounter in which you know it’s going to be a one night stand, and you really just want to get the guy out of there. There’s obviously no point in teaching the guy; you’re never going to see him again anyway. But in these cases, the guy frankly doesn’t care whether you’re faking or not, because he’s already gotten off, and he probably knows he ain’t coming back for seconds anyway.

Look – from a guy’s perspective, when you give the signal that you’ve orgasmed, regardless of whether it was faked, it let’s us know that we’ve done our jobs. And while guys do fake it occasionally (I’ll admit, I’ve done it… once), the majority of guys expect the girl to do whatever is necessary to get us off.

To your credit, girls usually oblige (we all know it’s not that hard). So why are you settling for less? Quit faking, and start teaching. Believe me, this is one aspect of our lives in which we’re always willing to improve.

What happens when a guy can’t get me off? Well, I’ll tell you.

I am forced to fake it.

And I am sure you all have been there too. We all know men hate it when a woman resorts to faking it, but there is a lot that goes into that decision that they just don’t understand. If you ever find yourself tongue tied when trying to explain your reasoning for faking it, print out this bad boy and hand it to your man.

1) We don’t want you to feel inadequate: My friend thinks this is the worst excuse ever. He claims that he would rather a girl tell him what to do than fake it. Well Ryan, unfortunately most guys are not like you, or most girls are not willing to sit up in bed with a chalkboard and map in order to get off. Needless to say, it kind of ruins the moment. The truth is most women are not as easy to please as I am, and it has nothing to do with the guy. If some guy goes down on a girl three or four times and still can’t get her off he may begin to think he is bad in bed and therefore unworthy of life when it is really just her difficult vagina. If she fakes it, however, she makes the guy feel better about himself, which will make this late-night relationship a much happier one. If you think about it faking it is a real compliment; it means that the woman really cares about you and your feelings.

2) It still feels fabulous: We are not men – things still feel pretty damn good regardless if we finish. I know a girl who can never get off from sex, but does that deter her? NO! She is the biggest sex fiend I know. Does it deter her man? NO! He is getting his (on a daily basis), and that is all he really cares about.

3) It is God-awful and it needs to stop: Now, here is a problem I can relate to. It is a situation like this that makes my gift a difficult one to have. When a guy knows that it doesn’t take much to please me he expects it to happen. When it doesn’t happen, he thinks something is wrong with him. He is right. I am forced to fake it in order to save his ego (see #1) in addition to making him stop whatever horrible thing he is doing in order to walk out of there pain free. Trying to sit up and explain what is going wrong and how to make it better would be futile and a waste of my time; why risk even more pain and suffering when I can merely fake it, kick the kid out and finish up on my own?

The fact that women fake it is a harsh reality to men. But, let’s face it, it is a harsh world out there. Men may not understand or agree, but those of us who have been in that situation know that we don’t do it for our own kicks – in fact, we would rather not have to do it at all, but sometimes (very rarely for me) it’s our only choice.