After first moving into my freshman dorm room that August, I anxiously awaited the arrival of my roommate, Mary (name changed). Finally, she walked in — leaving me with nervousness instead of anticipation. As I started to string my Hello Kitty lights next to my decorated bulletin boards, she started hanging her Hell Boy posters up next to her crucified scarecrow homemade ceramic creation. We were polar opposites (in an e-mail over the summer, she described herself as “stoic” while I replied with “enthusiastic” about myself). But I figured, college is a new experience and I wanted to soak it all in, so I told myself that Mary and I would work out, even if our outside appearances seemed at different ends of the college student spectrum.

But then my belongings started disappearing, and my food somehow made its way into her very own mini-fridge (we had 2 refrigerators for our room because she refused to e-mail me back throughout the summer about who was bringing what – a sign I should have paid attention to back then), and this ultimately started the downward spiral. Despite signing a roommate contract earlier in the semester, she disregarded nearly every single rule and when I called her out on it, she had no response. In fact, she didn’t really say much about anything, making our communication null and void.

One night in November of 2006, she snapped. I was doing my homework when Mary came into the room throwing her stuff down on her bed. Immediately, she started telling me, with a grin on her face, that she had thoughts of killing me and that she hated me. Repeating her thoughts over and over, I not only feared for myself, but for her because she never acted in that manner before, despite her quirkiness. Slowly marching around the room and ripping up paper after paper, Mary started to tear her stuff down while attempting to break a mirror over our rug. I thought I was a part of a college horror film, and I just started waiting for her to levitate off the bed like Regan in The Exorcist.

The next day, I followed protocol by making a report to my RA. Thanksgiving break came and went, and I didn’t hear anything from the Housing and Residence Life administration. After the night of Mary’s breakdown, the room was filled with nothing but a mixture of tension and nervousness. I wanted out. She wanted out. I complained about her. She complained about me. Finally going to talk to the head of housing myself (along with the Dean of Students), I expected immediate relief. Instead, I was pretty much slapped in the face.

Instead of help from the administration, they asked “What did you do to make her act like this?” Replying that I didn’t know that I had such control over someone’s behavior enough to put me in danger, the Head of Housing told me I was just a rude person and that if I could be more accommodating to Mary, we could work out our situation. Mary filed a report that she wanted a new room or roommate, and I followed up with the same report myself. How could it be just my fault when both parties involved wanted the same thing?

Finals came and went, leaving a fresh start in January 2007. It actually took the administration until the second week of January to finally deal with the situation, only after my parents became involved. In fact, once I got my parents involved (something that I think is outlandish considering I’m in college, and I should be able to handle things myself), one of the housing coordinators lied to my mom and said that the situation was already handled. It wasn’t. And then after she finally admitted to her bluff, only then did the administration agree that Mary would be moved out of the room immediately.

I thought her moving out would be a smooth process. But it wasn’t. It ended up being a major ordeal. While the Student Life Administration helped pack up Mary, the Dean of Students stopped by to make sure the situation was being handled appropriately, so it wasn’t stressful on Mary. While packing her up and leaving the room a mess for me to clean, the very administration that promised me as a prospective that everything would be handled respectfully no matter what the situation, was practically laughing in my face.

I was the one to blame. I was the one that made living together unbearable. Never mind Mary threatening to kill me and showing very strange behavior, it was my fault. And the administration was very clear about letting me know their opinion on this. That is when I realized that all students are not treated equally.

No student should EVER feel like a bad situation is their fault. Mary was a nice girl – we were just entirely too different, and that is okay. However, the school made it into a game of picking sides, which is unprofessional. No student should have to live with someone that could endanger their life. No student should deserve their administration doing everything except helping until the last possible moment.

If you are ever in a situation like this, demand immediately (the next day) to talk to the administration. Do not let the situation sit, even if the administration seems lackadaisical in their interest to help. And last but not least, get your parents involved or tell the administration you will because they have a harder time turning away parents than students.

Most of all, even if your rights are taken away, you have to know that you do have them and you need to demand them. Speak up, and don’t stop until you get what you want.

1. The Full House Remake

You weren’t a child of the ’90s unless you watched “Full House” (and if you didn’t, you seriously missed out on some major TGIF action). You knew the Tanner family. You still catch reruns when you stumble upon them flipping through the channels. You pause, you catch a Kimmy Gibbler cameo and laugh, and you remember how things were. And that’s how it should be. Now that John “Uncle Jesse” Stamos is proposing a Full House remake show, all our classic memories may be tainted. Seeing the aged DJ and Steph and the rest of the gang is just going to make me feel like an old fart. And the next thing you know, people are going to start making covers of good ’90s songs, and I’m going to start thinking to myself, “the original ‘Quit Playin Games With My Heart’ was so much better,” and then I will have turned into my mother, and this can’t happen during my 20s.

2. The Obama Citizenship Scandal

I don’t quite follow why this is happening (for all practical purposes, the presidential transition is already underway, and the last thing this country needs is more divisive action), but someone is suing Barack Obama, disputing his US citizenship and thus his claim to the presidency. For the record, Obama was born on August 4, 1961 in Hawaii, which became a member of the Union in 1959. Now what’s the problem? (And let’s not forget that former-rival John McCain was born in Panama on US-zoned territory).

3. Being Born In December

My 21st birthday was this week. That’s right- no more of those nasty “underage” check marks on my hands when I go to concerts, no more ugly red print on my driver’s license and, oh yeah, I can go where I want, whenever I want! Ballin’! Except, there was no proper way for me to celebrate this momentous occasion because (uuugh) I just so happened to have entered the world during the worst week on the calendar: the last week of classes. My time management skills aside, I still have a buttload of reading to do, and all of my friends are handcuffed to their laptops writing end-of-semester papers. So even if I was truly free-as-a-bird, my list of drinking buddies was nil. I guess the only sobering (ha!) wisdom I accrued with this coming of age was that your rights don’t come without responsibilities. Hmph.

4. Ungrateful Bosses

This didn’t happen to me, but I am equally as pissed about it: my roommate, who is a senior applying to graduate school at the moment, recently asked her boss for a recommendation letter. She has worked for years at the same campus job, which is relevant to her career interests and graduate studies. But her boss refused to write her a letter, simply because she wasn’t available to work during a particularly busy time of year. First of all, she is a student, and she took a campus job with the mutual understanding between herself and her employer that her studies came first. Second of all, she has worked there all throughout her undergraduate career, and shouldn’t her loyalty count for something? And third of all, why is it so difficult for this man, who has known my roommate for three years, to write her a one-page recommendation? For Pete’s sake, she just wants to go to grad school, and she’s been doing b*tch work for years to get there. Help a sista out.

5. Snow

I love it, really I do, just not when I am trying to walk home from the bar in my cutest pair of flats.

Has anything similar to the above happened to you/pissed you off? What’s eating you this week? Seriously ladies, let it out – mama’s here for you!

But if you’ve got The Itch, then we’ve got the remedies. College Candy prescribes a heavy dose of mindless entertainment. This week, we got all the facts on the hottest celebrity cat fights, contemplated the progression of Disney starlets to Hollywood harlots, and watched some real heavy drama on The Biggest Loser.

After a few good laughs (and maybe seeing Amy Winehouse look like a hot mess), it was time to spruce up. We relaxed our wild tresses with these tips for curly hair care, raided our closet for high-waisted pants, and upgraded our wardrobe to be sexy for winter. And once we got the dirt on down-n-dirty hookups, we were all prepared for a night on the town.

If all this hasn’t relieved that Fall Semester Itch, this week we also looked longingly to Thanksgiving (with this pumpkin pie recipe) and brainstormed ideas for holiday gifts! With this week in the books, the excitement of the holiday season lurks right around the corner!

The beauty of this situation is that it does allow you to do Patron shots at 2 pm; the drawback is that it creates the perfect opportunity for you to employ some…self control. While the former is deff a fun and adventurous route (see your tagged Facebook pics for evidence), it’s not always the smartest way to kick off your fall semester. After all, there is something to be said for NOT getting knackered your first week back at school–here’s why…

5. You’ll Look Like a Freshman

Characterized by lack of regional fashion knowledge, deer-in-headlights look and–of course–INCREDIBLY inebriated state of being. Obviously, this is not what you want to look like while you’re out on the town. Even if this is your very first week in college (Congrats & welcome!), the frosh look is still one you’ll want to avoid. Instead, keep it classy, limit yourself to a few drinks (or none at all if you wish) and enjoy the amazing feeling of being a sophisticated, very adult-like lady.

4.It’s a Small World After All

If you’re a regular around here, you’ll know how we feel about the not-so-randomness of college. While it might seem like an excellent idea to get schwasted and enjoy the anonymity that campus life offers, think twice before you go all out. The people you meet now may be unfamiliar and seem random, but 3 months from now, the same crowd will still be at their (and your) favorite bar. Just beware that while you think you’ll never see each other again, the odds of running into them (via class, outings, football games) are quite high…just be careful of the impression you make.

3.Sorority Recruitment

If you are a PNM (potential new member) BEWARE of going out and letting your wild side loose. Yes you’ve been cooped up at home fresh out of 12 years of academic lameness, but now is not the time to go crazy, especially when it comes to drinking. The best rule of thumb you can use to govern your behavior is to think of rush as a job interview.

You wouldn’t want the head of your dream job to witness you making a complete ass out of yourself, so just be conscious of the impression you’ll make on the active members of your Greek community while out at the bars–because rush is essentially an interview. Another FYI: Sorority women have eyes in the back of their head, even if you think you’re getting away with less than appropriate behavior, trust me–there will be a witness (aka sister!) somewhere.

2. Recovery come first day of school

Let’s not forget the reason you’re at college! Um, education. So yes, this is a freebie week for you to enjoy being back at school with all of your friends, but that hangover is going to kick in at some point and you absolutely do not want it to be your first day of classes. Your semester should take precedence over your partying, so make sure you prioritize buying books over buying rounds for everyone at the bar.

1. Your Reputation

This goes back to college not being the big huge nameless place you thought it was. Your good name is something that, once tarnished, you can never get back. By establishing yourself that first week back as the girl who holds the record for most vomit-inducing drink combinations, you pretty much eliminate the need for any other reps. (like smartest, most beautiful, classiest woman alive).

I’m not saying the inclination to drink anyone under the table and ability to recite impromptu Shakespeare can’t coexist, but the two sides of your personality will absolutely duel for recognition from your peers. So if you want to go down in history for being the Irish Car Bomb champion of the bar, go right ahead. Just be wary that your title might be harder to shake than you might think.

As we approach August, we may have started to take summer vacay for granted. In the dog days of summer, it’s easy to sleep until 2 p.m., get caught up on Maury, and not realize we still have our PJs on until it’s time to go back to bed. But with the countdown to Fall Semester ticking fast, it’s important to make the most of every spare minute. Whether you’re working your ass off or dedicated to being a lazy bum until a full courseload kicks back in, it’s time to get in gear and create some glorious summer memories.

1. Take a roadtrip. Sure, gas prices are skyrocketing, but you’re only young once, right? And once you’re shackled into a nine-to-five, you’re going to crave the spontaneity that’s currently yours for the taking. I’m a self-professed workaholic, but even I’ve been known to squeeze in a few quality roadtrips between May and August each year. One summer, I took a fourteen-hour drive to Ohio with two girls from work I barely knew, for the birthday party of one of my brother’s grad school friends. And no, my brother didn’t go. So, three random girls showed up at a party in the boondocks (aka Wooster), and promptly put on our party shoes. Liquor flowed, regrettable hook-ups were had, and the girls and I totally bonded over the experience. Even if you can only spare one day, find a town you’ve never been to before, and head out to explore. You never know what adventures might arise.

2. Go multimedia. Have a photo or videoshoot with your friends. No, you don’t need to be drunk, you just need to be creative. Use the summer foliage as a backdrop. Pretend you’re on America’s Next Top Model and work the runway. Yes, it’s childish, but nobody will know if you seal all the evidence in the vault. I have countless “Dress-Up” portraits, in which I’m dressed as anything from a Spice Girl to a Showgirl, as well as some priceless dance routines caught on tape to Tupac’s “California Love,” in which we substituted rolled-up toilet paper for Pac’s signature bandanna headband. It makes for a quick pick-me-up on future bad days. I didn’t make this stuff myself– go watch Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegates’ “Movie Montage” scene from The Sweetest Thing.

3. Get off your ass. There’s a variety of activities that can fall into this category. Take a bike ride, go rollerblading, go hiking. Hell, go to the local playground and play on the jungle gym. We all know exercise boosts your endorphins, but it’s a also a great way to maintain your tan and your bikini bod. Side note: some of my most romantic summer kisses have occurred on the docks of the local lake or underneath the monkey bars once the sun sets on a sultry summer’s eve.

4. Enjoy the local festivities. Whether it’s a local fair or a weekly farmer’s market, a tour of a historic landmark or a downtown block party… what do you have better to do? Besides, even the smallest towns have kooky summer activities. I know a guy who runs in a citywide roadrace every year, donning nothing but a loincloth. You can also check out the local downhome watering hole that reeks of flannel and flasks. Who knows what goes down when the townies come out to play?

5. Have a midday drinking festival. Seriously, this is the time in our lives when we can do it without being labeled an alcoholic. During every spring semester of my college career, I wouldn’t skip a single class until the first nice day of spring. Then, my friends and I would cut every single class to sit out on the quad and booze it up from inconspicuous Nalgene bottles. Sure, school’s been out for weeks, but you can still have a good old daylight drinking binge on a random Tuesday. The good news? You’ll probably pass out early enough to get a head start on tomorrow. The better news? If you follow this step, you can move on to the local festivities or the multimedia extravaganza.

Just don’t attempt a summer roadtrip if you’ve already been hitting the bottle in 90-degree weather.

Now that fall semester is truly underway, we know that you’re all getting your party routines down and your alcohol tolerances up. But it’s a sad college reality that everyone has those nights once in a while where they wake up in a strange place, next to a strange person…probably covered in Sharpie.

No one likes being the first to pass out…but everyone loves documenting the poor fool who couldn’t make it past 12.

Check this video out and take notes…you should never have to scrub permanent marker off your ass on a Saturday morning. It’s just pathetic.