It looks like those New Jersey Italians aren’t the only ones with prosciutto beef about MTV’s latest trainwreck, Jersey Shore. Another MTV “star” has his boxers in a bunch about the newest reality series to sweep America off its feet. Yes, everyone’s favorite ass-hat, Spencer Pratt, isn’t so happy with all the attention those overly tanned guidos have been getting.

“Spencer can feel the press moving away from him and on to the cast members of ‘Jersey Shore.’ He is desperate to keep his 15 minutes going. It’s all he has and blames MTV for paying more attention to the new show than to his old show,” laughs a TV executive.

And he should be mad. A tanner, stronger, 6-packier loser has taken his place as MTV’s biggest douche: the one and only Situation. Or has he? I mean, it’s really hard to tell which moron is a bigger dbag, but let’s try. Read More »

It’s summer (if you haven’t noticed) and therefore my time is divided between sweating, drinking whatever is cold, squeezing into shorts, sweating, sleeping through the hottest part of the day, and watching late-night TV until my apartment cools down enough for me to fall sleep.

Late-night TV is an interesting beast, forever surprising you with its ability to throw random shows together in the hope that you’re so tired/drunk/spaced out that you won’t notice what’s going on.  I usually don’t notice, but lately I’ve been awake and sober, so I’m beginning to catch some things.  Like, American Idol is a horrible show full of annoying people, yet I can’t help but watch hours upon hours of reruns.

During one of my sweaty midnight marathons (not the good kind, trust me), I happened to see one of the more recent episodes of American Idol.  You know…the one with the bikini girl.  If I despised the American Idol judges before, you can bet that Kara DioGuardi’s actions didn’t make my feelings any fonder.  What was she thinking??  I mean, the only one to rival her in craziness is Paula Abdul.  The real question is, which one is more pathetic?  Well, let’s find out, shall we? Read More »

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list.

“Heels or flats?”
“Pizza or salad?”
“Prada backpack or Skechers?”

So when we are constantly faced with the awful decision of which fame whore is more fame whorey, we make a list. Yes, this is a decision we feel the need to make on a weekly basis. We have a lot of time on our hands.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two celebs that continue to invade our lives, no matter how hard we try to avoid them: Perez Hilton and Ryan Seacrest. Which one would we like to ship off to a small island in the South Pacific first? Do we really have to choose?! Read More »

Perez.

He’s done a lot for us over the years. Taking down annoying starlets one vajayjay flash at a time, dragging certain stars out of the closet, giving us up-to-the-minute Lindsay Lohan rehab news, and forcing a bit of humor out of that self-important land called Hollywood.

After learning about his site a year ago, I find myself checking it almost daily, needing my fix of A, B, and C-list celebrities like a smoker needs that after dinner cig.

I can’t help it, Perez and his mysterious “sources” have me hooked.

Starting out from a nobody and becoming a giant somebody isn’t easy, and Perez (a.k.a Mario Armando Lavandeira) has certainly climbed his way from unknown to a celebrity in his own right. That being said, I can’t help but notice the irony of a guy who makes a living bashing the overexposed saturating the media himself.

He’s everywhere now. In magazines, in major newspapers, all over the talk-show circuit, even featured in a hideous-looking new show on MTV called Celebrity Rap Superstars. The man who used to be just like us—a regular person gawking at the famous people—is now more like the celebrities he draws penises on.

Far be it from me to begrudge anyone newfound fame, but you have to wonder what Perez would say about himself on his website. Read More »